Dating Watch this clip httpwwwyoutubecomwatchv umc7BFEhWz0 Love What the world generally refers to as love is an intense emotionality combining physical attraction possessiveness control addiction eroticism and novelty ID: 276253
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Slide1
Romantic RelationshipsSlide2
Dating
Watch this clip:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=
umc7BFEhWz0
Slide3
Love
What the world generally refers to as love is an intense emotionality combining physical attraction, possessiveness, control, addiction, eroticism, and novelty.
David R. Hawkins
Power
Vs
Force, pg71.Slide4
Love
Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.
Robert HeinleinSlide5
LoveSlide6
Relationships
The Elements of Attraction
Proximity
Those similar to us
Projection
Believing our desired one carries the traits we want
Bargaining (someone in your league)
Slide7
Relationships
The role of sex in attraction, although discussed in early psychological theories, is underestimated.
Sex Affects Your Thinking, and You Don’t Seem to Care
People prefer to believe in mystical reasons for their attraction than their more base drives.
Slide8
Attraction
Early childhood relationships
Attachment Style
Secure
Anxious
Avoidant
Influences how we behave in relationships.
Although often consistent over relationships, it can change in regard to the power differential in the relationship.
Seinfeld, Upper Hand, And Relationship Attachment StyleSlide9
LoveSlide10
Attraction
Memory, Familiarity, and its impact on picking a partner
(A General
Theory of Love)
Alcohol issues, abusive partners
How this attraction can be counterproductive
“Crazy” in
love
How to Develop Sexual and Romantic Attraction to People Who Are Good for
YouSlide11
Relationships
Drama:
Many say they want a drama free relationship, yet their behavior demonstrates otherwise.
They become bored in healthy, stable relationships.
They may cheat:
To bring excitement
B
ecause they want the passion that comes with a new relationship.
They may report not being “in love” with their partner anymore.Slide12
Relationships
The Real Reason Many Get Married:
Possession
To be a Princess or Prince for a Day
Cultural Influences
We are programmed from an early age to
believe
marriage is the norm, a way to happiness, an expectation.
It has almost become a competition
Bigger diamonds, weddings, etc.
Why You Really Want To Get MarriedSlide13
Relationships
Companionship
Life partner
Someone to make life easier, to travel with us
This is at least beneficial to men:
Statistics indicate men live longer when married.
Women have slight health benefits, when in a happy marriage.
How to Pick Your Life PartnerSlide14
Relationships
Compensation
Many believe opposites attract
Although we tend to marry those similar to us…
Often personality traits are opposed
This can help bring one into a more balanced personality.Slide15
Soul Mates
Our survey from 2011 indicated approximately 75% of those surveyed (the largest population was female college students) believe in the idea of a Soul Mate.
This can lead to unrealistic expectations, including the expectation of a “super relationship”.Slide16Slide17
Making Relationships Work
Understand some of the differences between men and women.
Empathy versus Solution focusSlide18
Empathy Vs. Solution Focus
Watch this clip:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-
4EDhdAHrOg
Slide19
Making Relationships Work
Have
realistic expectations for the relationship and your partner
.
Remain
Present
in the relationship.
Be With Me Or Let Me Be
Avoid falling into parental roles.
When Men Are Boys and Wives Are MothersSlide20
Making Relationships Work
Be honest in your relationship
Full disclosure may not be necessary, but honesty is imperative to a healthy ongoing relationship.
Secrets kill relationships
Do not become too secure
Security can lead to taking another for granted.
If you remain mildly anxious about the state of your relationship, you will work harder at it.Slide21
Making Relationships Work
Commit to working on things.
Our culture has led to an emphasis on immediate gratification.
Relationships have ups and downs, but some
exit when
the relationship is in a down
.
Relationships take work, and patience. If you want a relationship to last you must commit to working on it.Slide22
The Blurry Line of Love
Where does acting out of Love end, and being a sucker begin?
Do many in this culture even know what Love, in the romantic sense, means?
How do we balance the complete idea of Love, with the independence and ego ideal we also desire?Slide23
A Few More Words on Love
May discussed there being four types of love, and happy relationship being based on all four:
Sex, Eros,
Philia
, and Agape
But few are able to attain and maintain this.Slide24
LOVE
ROMANTIC LOVE
d
esires to Possess & Defend
AGAPE /
METTA
No EgoSlide25
A Few More Words on
Love & Relationships…
Ego versus Agape /
Metta
Love
Our ego allows us to function in reality
Our experiences, culture, exposure to the “stories” of love, are part of our ego, and color our idea of what we deserve.
These forces struggle against our natural desire to love purely
Love’s Tug Of WarSlide26
A Few More Words on Love & Relationships…
Our selfish desires…
To be cared for as much as we
believe we should be
To get what we want
To be the most important thing in our others life
Our
insecurities
Our fear of being made a fool of
All get
in the way of what love can really be.
We have to learn to balance these conflicting desires for ego fulfillment and for agape loveSlide27
To Sum Up
Relationships take work.
And although you may want to cling to your old beliefs and discard some of what was presented, it may serve you better to alter your expectations, suspend your “story” and try to look at things objectively.Slide28
Love
Some
of the biggest challenges in relationships come from the fact that most people enter a relationship in order to get something: they're trying to find someone who's going to make them feel good. In reality, the only way a relationship will last is if you see your relationship as a place that you go to give, and not a place that you go to take."
~
Anthony RobbinsSlide29
Love
Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don't know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of
witherings
, of
tarnishings
.
Anais
Nin