Mark Toombs University of Central Florida Division of Continuing Education Opening Thoughts I understand a fury in your words but not the words William Shakespeare Never impose your thoughts or words on those you ID: 383248
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Slide1
De-escalating Anger and Frustration
Mark Toombs
University of Central Florida
Division of Continuing Education Slide2
Opening Thoughts….
“I understand a fury in your words, but not the
words.”
William Shakespeare
“Never impose your thoughts or words on those you
wish to reach.”
Abbie
Hoffman
Slide3
Critical Information
Consider that:
As frustration builds in the community it can sometimes spill into the workplace. Most are upset with their situation and not the person in front of them.
Employees most likely to experience verbal or physical confrontation are those having frequent face-to-face contact with many people.
4 in 20 people feel they can deal with angry people, whereas 9 in 20 would rather run the other way. Give yourself credit for being able to make a difference.Slide4
Precipitating Factors
Possible sources of frustration and anger:
Fear
Perception of lost power or control
Diminished self-esteem
Feelings of failure
It is a learned behavior – it has worked for them
Displaced angerPsychological/physiological causesLimited or inadequate coping skillsBehavioral blindnessSlide5
Are
You
Under Control?
Remind yourself:
Someone
must maintain their composure; if they won’t,
you must
.Put it in perspective – you’ve done this before.Stay calm and confident in your ability to reach a successful outcome. Use the skills you’ve learned.It may not be easy but it’s necessary.Slide6
Recognizing Signs of Anger/Aggression
Watch for….
Red faced
Standing up or standing taller
Raised voice, verbal escalation
Direct, prolonged eye contact
Exaggerated gestures (flailing arms, etc.)Slide7
Recognizing Signs of Anger/Aggression
Watch for….
Profanity
Threatening statements
Clenched fists
Rapid pacing
Any unusual or sudden change in demeanorSlide8
De-escalation/Intervention Strategies
Permit verbal venting
Establish limits
Remind of them of
consequences
Remind them of the
advantages of maintaining control
Respect personal spaceTake them seriouslyAvoid overreacting
Keep your nonverbal
cues non-threateningSlide9
Communication Techniques
Verbal:
Volume
Tone
Pace, Cadence
Words you choose
Sincerity (use their name, be genuine)
Be aware of any language barrierSlide10
Communication Techniques
Non-verbal:
Be aware of
your
body language
Be aware of
their
body languageBe aware of their personal spaceMake appropriate eye contactAppear calm, self controlled, and confident without being dismissive or over-bearingSlide11
Communication Techniques
Non-verbal:
Be aware of
your
body language
Be aware of
their
body languageBe aware of their personal spaceMake appropriate eye contactAppear calm, self controlled, and confident without being dismissive or over-bearingSlide12
10 keys to De-escalation
Recognize
that anger is a choice of a wide range of behaviors that could be used to get what one needs in a situation. It has benefits for its user – feelings of control over people or situations, avoiding difficult situations, or feeling more
significant.
2.
The person interacting with the angry person
must identify his or her own emotions at any given point in time.
If the helping person is also experiencing anger, then that person will not be very effective assisting others to manage theirs.Slide13
10 keys to De-escalation
When potential interventionists are experiencing anger,
they must be able to change what they are doing or thinking
to get their emotions under control or seek the assistance they will need to manage the situation.
4.
Perform a
quick self-assessment
: Can I avoid criticizing and finding fault with the angry person?
Can I avoid being judgmental?
Can I keep myself removed from the conflict?
Can I try to see the situation from the angry person’s point of
view or understand the needs he is trying to satisfy?
Can I remember that, ultimately, my job is to help them?Slide14
10 keys to De-escalation
5.
Recognize early warning signs
. Many incidents of anger could
be prevented if those who are around a person about
to become angry notice the subtle change in the
person’s behavior. Quiet people may become agitated, while louder more outgoing people generally become quiet and introspective. Paying attention to these subtle changes and simply commenting on the change
could help the individual talk about things so he or she
wouldn’t have to become angry. Slide15
10 keys to De-escalation
It is possible that you will do everything right and disruptive people
will still choose anger as the behavior for getting what they want.
When any of these situations occur, you may need to employ
one or all of the following five de-escalation skills.
Intervention Steps:
6. Active listening is the process of really attempting to hear, acknowledge, and understand what a person is saying. It is a genuine attempt to put yourself in the other person’s situation. Active listening means attending not only to the words the other person uses, but also the underlying emotion and the accompanying body language.
Slide16
10 keys to De-escalation
7.
Acknowledgement
. This occurs when the listener is attempting to sense the emotion underlying the words a person is using and then comments on that emotion. The person may say something like, “I can see that you are frustrated.” By acknowledging and really trying to understand what the other person is feeling, that person is now able to release a lot of their frustration and move toward the solution.
8.
Agreeing. Often when people are angry about something, there is at least a bit of truth in what they are saying. When attempting to diffuse someone’s anger, it is important to find that bit of truth and agree with it. When the listener agrees with the truth in the angry person’s tirade, he or she takes away the resistance and may eliminate the fuel for the fire.
Obviously, this approach is not always appropriate.
Slide17
10 keys to De-escalation
9.
Apologizing
is an effective de-escalation skill. This does not mean apologizing for an imaginary wrong, but simply recognizing anything in the situation that was unjust. It is a statement acknowledging that something occurred that may not have been right or fair. This can have the effect of letting angry people know that the listener has genuinely attempted to understand their situation, which may lead them to stop directing their anger at the person attempting to help.
Slide18
10 keys to De-escalation
10.
Anyone intervening in an emotionally charged situation should always have a plan
or an established way to get help if needed. An angry person is generally someone capable of getting out of control. When out of control people sense they are intimidating others, it can increase their sense of power and control, resulting in an escalation of the situation. You must stay calm and act as if you are in control of yourself and the situation.
Even when utilizing the these ten keys, there may be occasions when you are unsuccessful in the attempts to decrease the other person’s anger. Your safety and that of those around you should be the primary concern. Do not get between the angry person and his or her only means of escape and don’t allow the angry person to block your only means of retreat or safety.
Slide19
Benefits of Success
What’s in it if we are successful?
Satisfied job-seekers, positive reputation for the organization
Self-satisfaction for a job well done
A safe and stable workplace
Lower stress and enhanced peace of mind for everyone
Minimized potential for situations to escalate into violenceSlide20
Closing Thoughts….
“People who fight fire with fire usually end up with
ashes.”
Abigail Van Buren
“A good head and a good heart are always a formidable combination.”
Nelson Mandela