Toward Strength Beauty and Happiness The Journey to Wholeness Everyone is on a journey to wholeness and everyone will struggle with issues on the way there such as Finding ourselves lovable Balancing the various parts of ourselves into a unified order ID: 398504
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Slide1
Wholeness:
Toward Strength, Beauty, and HappinessSlide2
The Journey to WholenessSlide3
Everyone is on a journey to wholeness, and everyone will struggle with issues on the way there such as:
Finding ourselves lovable
Balancing the various parts of ourselves into a unified order
Freeing ourselves of “hooks” that seem to grab and control us
Learning self-restraint that allows us to set directions for ourselves and passionately invest in ourselves in something worthwhileSlide4
Wholeness, Not Perfection
To be whole is not to be perfect
The virtue of
wholeness
is the balancing of all the parts of the self to create a dynamic and harmonious order
In Catholic tradition, the 4
th
cardinal virtue has been called
temperance
Wholeness focuses on building the beauty and strength of the self, which makes happiness possible
We are complex beings. We are physical (biological), rational (intellectual), emotional (feeling), social and spiritual
If we deny any of these dimensions of ourselves, we become out of balanceSlide5
Qualities of Wholeness
There are three significant qualities of wholeness:
Freedom
Unity, order and direction
Self-restraint Slide6
The Perfectionism
Scale
For each statement, rank how much you agree or disagree with it, using the following scale:
-2 -1 0 +1 +2
Strongly disagree Disagree Cannot Decide Agree Strongly Agree
If I don’t set high standards for myself, I am likely to end up a second-rate person
People will probably think less of me if I make a mistake
If I cannot do something really well, there is little point in doing it at all.
I should be upset if I make a mistake
If I try hard enough, I should be able to excel at anything I attemptSlide7
The Perfectionism
Scale
-2 -1 0 +1 +2
Strongly
disagree
Disagree Cannot Decide Agree
Strongly Agree
6.
It is shameful for me to display weakness or foolish behaviour
7.
I shouldn’t have to repeat the same mistake many times
8.
An average performance is bound to be unsatisfying to me
9.
Failing at something important means I’m less of a person
If I scold myself for failing to live up to my expectations, it will help me to do better in the future
Now add up the numbers of your responses to get your total scoreSlide8
The Perfectionism Scale
A score of +20 show the highest degree of perfectionism
A score of -20, the lowest degree
+20 and -20 are the two extremes. Where do you fit in?
According to the textbook, half the general population scores between +2 and +16Slide9
Summary
Individuals are on a journey to wholeness, the balancing of all the parts of the self to create a dynamic and harmonious order. More than any other virtue, wholeness focuses on building the beauty and strength of the self, which makes happiness possible. Jesus continually called people to come alive and feel well in every dimension of their person. Wholeness includes the qualities of freedom; unity, order and direction; and self-restraint.Slide10
Freedom:
The Joy of Being UnhookedSlide11
Not in the Grip of Something
One meaning of freedom is that we are in charge of ourselves.
We can calmly consider what we are doing and make choices with our whole self.
When we feel compelled to act a certain way or do a certain thing we are not free
If what compels us is cravings or urges or a desire within, we may be “hooked”
We need to decide if we are making decisions whole heartedly or if we are listening
to our
compulsion from that which we are “hooked” onSlide12
How Do We Get Hooked?
We get hooked do to being stuck on short-term pleasures that feel like the key to happiness
Such as drugs, alcohol, new clothes, work, etc.Slide13
Drugs
Why do teens use drugs and alcohol?Slide14
Sex
Today, having premarital sex in quite common
Casual sex is also quite common among younger people (often tied to drug and alcohol use)
Why do teenagers engage in premarital sex?Slide15
What Sex is Intended
For
According to the Catholic Church, sex has two purposes:
Unity
Procreation
Sex is not intended to be a negative thing, but it is meant to occur within a happy, monogamous marriage.Slide16
Are We an Addictive Society?
What is one of the most common addictions in today’s society?
How can we get unhooked?Slide17
Unity, Order, and Direction:
Peaceful and purposefulSlide18
Not A War Zone
We need to be unified and not at war with ourselves.
The dimensions of the person—the body, the emotions, the mind, the spirit—must be in harmony.
In order to maintain this harmony we need to be able to look at the bigger picture—the long term, and not give in to short term impulsesSlide19
Our Bodies, Ourselves
We need to be at peace with our bodies
If we feel bad about our physical appearance, if we think we don’t live up to what media has taught us is “ideal” it can lead to people abusing themselves, trying to reach those ideals
Ways people try to accomplish “perfection”:
Anorexia: fear of weight gain to the point the person begins to starve themselves
Bulimia: intentionally purging of food through vomiting, laxatives, etc. Bulimics tend to binge eat, then purge the food. Can be accompanied by anorexia
Hypergymnasia
: a person eats and then dangerously over-exercises, attempting to burn off whatever was eaten.
Anabolic steroids: typically young men use these to increase muscle mass and boost performance in athleticsSlide20
Self-restraint:
Tending to the fire withinSlide21
Self-Restraint
Self-restraint is the right channeling and controlling of our drives and impulses—whether biological, emotional, or intellectual
This is a very difficult thing to so, especially at your age
Teenagers are often worried that they will miss out on important things and experiences
Not practicing self-restrain can lead to:
Pregnancy outside of marriage
STD’s
Addictions
Flunking out of school
Family violence and abuseSlide22
Chastity
Chastity is self-restraint with our sexuality.
In
a chaste
life we live out our sexual desires in harmony with our life stage—single, engaged, married, etc.
I already stated what the Church says about marriage: it should happen within a loving, monogamous marriage
What are some of the problems with having premarital sex?Slide23
Problems with Premarital Sex
Babies deserve a family which will provide a healthy, stable environment
Premature bonding: teenagers tend to merge their personalities before either has completely formed their own. This bonding is ok for mature adults who know who they are, but premature bonding can cause adolescents to close off family and friends. This can go the other way too. One partner can become very attached, while the other withdraws after sex. “I thought he loved me, I guess he just wanted sex”.
An illusion that sex means your relationship will last forever.
Premarital sex speeds up the development of intimacy—physical intimacy takes priority.