In Adult Individual Psychotherapy A Therapists Toolbox Outline Bona Fides Session Goals Personal Goals Nature Nurture Normal versus Troubled Parenting Toolbox Talking shop Bona Fides ID: 481443
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Slide1Slide2
Parenting Issues
In
Adult Individual
PsychotherapySlide3
A
Therapist’s
ToolboxSlide4
Outline
Bona Fides
Session Goals
Personal Goals
Nature
Nurture
Normal versus Troubled Parenting
Toolbox
Talking shopSlide5
Bona Fides
Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology (Child and Adolescent)
Private Practice in Adolescent and Family Therapy (20+ years)
Therapeutic Traditions
Systems Theory
Solution Oriented/Problem Focused
Cognitive Behavioral
Motivation
Positive Psychology
Raising Teens in the 21
st
Century
www.drjameswellborn.com
www.jamesgwellbornphd.com
Slide6
Session Goals
A. Assist an adult client in distinguishing between normative and extreme adolescent parenting issues
B. Identify
and apply 14 self-contained, generalizable parenting strategies adult clients can use to resolve a wide range of common parenting
challenges
C. Describe
the basics of effective praise, the elements of a successful family behavior contract and the components of a 3 tiered model of discipline
D. Translate
and apply practical, self-contained parenting strategies within their psychotherapy framework
Slide7
Personal Goals
Clinical not empirical
Applied not theoretical
Conversational and interactive
Practical, self-contained formulas
Opportunity to talk shopSlide8
NatureSlide9Slide10
Diary of a Wimpy Kid
Fox
Film Distributors Slide11Slide12Slide13Slide14
Dispositional Characteristics
Gregariousness
Sensation Seeking
Shy/cautious
Sociability
Optimism
Pessimism
Self-control
Highly Sensitive
Reward oriented
Low
responsivity
to punishment
Bull HeadedSlide15Slide16
NurtureSlide17
Baumrind’s
Baumrind
, 1967
Maccoby
& Martin, 1983Slide18Slide19
Stage
Time Period Task
Galinsky
(1987)
6 Stages of ParenthoodSlide20Slide21
Normal Parenting Issues
Frequent arguments
Slacking off on schoolwork
Avoids
responsibilities
Talks back
Mild name calling
Occasional
yelling (1-2xmos
)
Sibling conflict
Normative rule breaking
Surly and uncommunicative
Pushes
limitsSlide22
Extreme Parenting Issues
Emotional or Mental Health Issues
Extreme personality disposition
Persistent
academic failure
Persistent lying,
esp
when insignificant
Ignores
or dismisses punishment
Curses
parents
Threats
, intimidation or
assault
Constant arguments
Screaming arguments
Criminal behavior
Repeated substance use/abuse
Pervasively negative
interactions
Physically fights with peers
Parents won’t quit
making
it worseSlide23
Tools of the TradeSlide24
The Look of LoveSlide25
5-to-1Slide26
No Talk ZonesSlide27
30
Second
RuleSlide28
Knock Before EnteringSlide29
The “Tone”Slide30
Time
OutSlide31
Anyone can call it
Must call it on yourself
Everyone must honor it
Move to neutral space
Set time to resume
Meeting is sacrosanctSlide32
3Q
3ASlide33
Notice SuccessSlide34
If/ThenSlide35
Not Only/
But AlsoSlide36
Do OversSlide37
Argument TrapSlide38
Positive DisciplineSlide39
Punishment
Fits The CrimeSlide40
Praise
Liberally
(and sincerely)Slide41
How?
Be positive
Be sincere
Be specific
Praise behavior not your kid
Tell them why
Focus on internal standards
Be realistic
No “
but”s
Don’t praise everything
Don’t pay
Normalize Failure
Praise qualities you want them to exhibitSlide42
What?
Things they can do or act on
“That
hard work paid
off!”
not
qualities they have
“You’re
so
smart/talented.”
Identify the positive
rather
than pointing out the
negative
Build on success
rather
than pointing out
failure
Pursuing personal goals
rather
than responding to external
demands
The WAY they did something
“You
worked hard for that
A!”
not
just the outcome
“A
+
That
is
great!”
Mastery in the form of knowledge and
skills
not
just performance like victory or grades
Important values or character traits
“I
am so proud of how hard you
worked.”
not
success at
all costs
“
T
hose
schlubs
are such losers.”Slide43
Categories
Success
Effort
Skill
Initiative
Persistence
Risk
taking
Character. Slide44
Character
Integrity
Responsibility
Compassion
Kindness
Honor
Honesty
Generosity
Courage
Hard Work
Leadership.
Slide45
Character
but . . .Slide46
Character
Moral Credentialing
(
Monin
& Miller, 2001)
Doing a good deed and feeling morally satisfied can result in subsequent moral violationSlide47
3
Tier
ConsequencesSlide48
Correct
Consequence
ConfineSlide49
The Family ContractSlide50
If It
Ain’t
Broke
Don’t Fix It
Lots of arguing?
Kids don’t comply with direct instruction?
Complicated family structure?
Repeated conflict over an issue?
Overscheduled family members?
Family transitions?Slide51
Family Contract
Communication
Rules
Co-construction
Make A List
One Thing At A Time
Be Specific
Day
& Time
No Reminders
Consequence Tied to
Task
Review and ReviseSlide52
Talking ShopSlide53
The Look of Love
5-to-1
No Talk Zones
3Q/3A
Praise Liberally
Notice Success
30 Second Rule
Time Out
The “Tone”
Do Overs
If/Then
Not Only/But Also
Argument Trap
Positive Discipline
Punishment Fits the Crime
3 Tier
Consequences
Family ContractSlide54
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www.JamesGWellbornPhD.com
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ResourcesSlide55
Bibliography
Raising Teens in the 21
st
Century: A Practical Guide to Effective Parenting
by James G. Wellborn, Ph.D.
Positive Discipline A to Z
by Jane Nelsen, Lynn Lott & H. Stephen Glenn
A Little Book of Parenting Skills: 52 Vital Practices to Help With the Most Important Job on the Planet
by Mark Brady.
How Not to Embarrass Your Kids: 250 Don’ts for Parents of Teens
by Z. Elias & T. Goldman.
How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk
by Adele Faber & E.
Mazlish
Yes, Your Teen is Crazy!: Loving Your Kid Without Losing Your Mind
by Michael J. Bradley.
The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Families
by Stephen R. Covey.
But I’m Almost 13! : Raising a Responsible Adolescent
by Kenneth R. Ginsburg and Martha M.
Jablow
The Secrets of Happy Families: Eight Keys to Building a Lifetime of Connection and Contentment
by Scott
Haltzman
Get Out Of My Life: But First Could You Drive Me and Cheryl to the Mall? A Parent’s Guide to the New Teenager
by A. E. Wolf
http://drjameswellborn.com/references/