Developing Personal Power amp UNDERSTANDING DISCIPLINE Nurturing Parenting Program Facilitator Alicia Phone 916 2908247 Datetime Monday and Wednesdays 100 p m 300 pm WEEK 7 AGENDA ID: 636007
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Session 7&8Improving Children’s Self-Worth;Developing Personal Power & UNDERSTANDING DISCIPLINE
Nurturing Parenting Program
Facilitator: AliciaPhone: (916) 290-8247Date/time: Monday and Wednesdays 1:00 pm – 3:00 pmSlide2
WEEK 7 - AGENDAWelcome & Check In
Last Week ReviewHome Assignment Review
Week 7 Competencies Self Esteem, Self-Concept, Self-Worth10 ways to Improve Your Child’s Self WorthBreak
Developing Personal Power – Empowerment
Power Struggle
Closing Activities – Home Practice, Session Evaluation and Praise CircleSlide3
CHECK IN & REVIEW
Right now I’m feeling ____. Something new that happened to me since our last class was _____.
Give an example of how you were able to apply empathy when parenting this past week?
Table of Contents Slide4
REVIEW: DEVELOPING EMPATHY IN CHILDREN
It is the ability of one person to walk in the shoes of another person and feel what it is like.
Empathy is the ability to perceive the emotions, needs and desires of a child: and to be able to respond in a nurturing way, keeping the positive welfare of the child the focus.
Empathy, simply is the ability to careSlide5
REVIEW: EMPATHY IN NURTURING PARENTING
First, try to identify or label what someone is feeling.
“Hanna, you are really afraid right now, aren’t you?Second, identify why your child feels the way they do.
“Why are you so scared?”
Third, brainstorm with the child to see if anything needs to be done.
“Being afraid that there are monsters in the closet is very scary.
What should we do to help you feel safer?”
Let’s Practice identifying and honoring your child’s feelingsSlide6
Session 7 - COMPETENCIES
Parents can describe the terms self-worth and personal power
Parents can describe the importance of having positive self-worth as a parentParents can use at least three strategies to improve children’s self-worth
Parents can identify ways to build their own sense of personal power
Parents can describe strategies to build personal power in children
Table of Contents Slide7
WHAT’S THE MEANING?SELF-CONCEPT
SELF-esteem
SELF-WORTH
The way people
feel
about themselves.
What people think about themselves.
The overall way people
think
and
feel
about themselves. Self-worth is the combination of self-esteem and self-concept.
+
Self-Concept
-
+
Behavior
-
+
Self-Esteem
-
+
Experiences
-
ChildSlide8
WHAT DETERMINES SELF-WORTH?SELF-WORTH
Is developed by the way we are treated by others during the process of growing up.
The way children think and feel about themselves is reflected in their behaviorWhen children view themselves as positive people, they behave that way toward themselves and to others. The same holds true with a negative view of themselves
Children learn to be nurturing and caring by being treated as such
Children learn to be mean and uncaring by being treated in that manner.
BEHAVIOR
NEEDS Slide9
SELF-REFLECTION: LABELS, *ExerciseWrite down a negative label you have for yourself that was given to you by a parent, guardian or someone else
Write it down…
http://thecontentsofmyhead.wordpress.com/2010/04/28/stamp-for-the-real-loser
/
I can’t do anything right
I was a mistake
I am worthless
If only I had been more like my …
I’m just like my father
I’m a liarSlide10
SELF-REFLECTION: LABELSNow, identify a positive behavior or label you would like to see or have seen instead. . .
Write it down…
I can do anything I set my mind to
My life has meaning & purpose
I am priceless
I am unique
I’m actively working to fix my mistakes to be a good role model for my kids
I tell the truthSlide11
SELF REFLECTION: LABELS FOR YOUR CHILDREN
What labels do you
or your partner have for your child/children?Write the negative/inappropriate behavior your child performs when they’re acting that label.What positive label would you like your child to have instead?List the behaviors that would help him/her become that positive labelSlide12
10 WAYS TO IMPROVE YOUR CHILD’S SELF WORTH
Give children small opportunities to succeed!
Expect children to succeed in small specific situations. If a child does not succeed, problem solve! Keep track of all the times your child behaves appropriately!
Praise your child in front of others, where your child can hear you.
Model good behavior.
Visualize your child with the new positive label.
Respect and honor your child’s feelings and opinions.In love, comment on your child’s strengths and weaknesses.
Be Patient!
*Think of three specific ways you can change your child’s self-esteem and self-concept. Write them down. Slide13
DEVELOPING PERSONAL POWERPersonal power is not how physically strong we are, but how capable we are in getting our needs met in desirable, healthy ways.
Personal power is the capability we have to influence conditions in our lives.
Positive personal power means we do things to meet our needs and the needs of others in ways that build self-concept and self-esteem.Negative personal power means we do things to meet our needs and the needs of others in ways that are destructive.
Positive control
means we control the lives of others who are unable to get their own needs met.
Negative control means we control the lives of others who are capable to get many of their own needs met, but we control them anyways. Slide14
EMPOWERMENT: BUILDING PERSONAL POWER
Building personal power is called Empowerment
Why is it important for children
?
PERSONAL POWER…
Helps children to withstand peer pressure
Helps children say no to decisions that they know are going to get them into trouble or danger
Speak up for themselves in situations where they may feel unsafe
Be responsive to their own needs and the needs of othersSlide15
WEEK 7 - COMPETENCIES & SESSION EVALUATION
Parents can describe the terms Self Worth and Personal Power
Parents can describe the importance of having positive self-worth as a parentParents can use at least three strategies to improve children’s self-worth
Parents can identify ways to build their own sense of personal power
Parents can describe strategies to build personal power in children
Table of Contents Slide16
BREAK TIMEBe mindful of the noise level
No smoking within 100 feet of the front door
Please return from breaks on time
Table of ContentsSlide17
WEEK 8, Understanding Discipline - COMPETENCIES
Parents can describe the meaning of discipline
Parents can identify the type of discipline being used on their childrenParents can describe their childhood experience with discipline
Parents can identify reasons why parents use spanking as a technique
Parents can describe why hitting children is not a good parenting practice
Table of Contents Slide18
UNDERSTANDING DISCIPLINE
4 Major Concepts of Discipline
The time spent together between parent and child has to be quality “time-in” for “
time-out
” to work.
Parents must have expectations of their children that are developmentally appropriate.
For discipline to work, parents must be consistent, yet flexible.
Parents must take time to nurture themselves.
Discipline
: comes from the Latin word,
discipulus
,
which means to teach and to guideSlide19
UNDERSTANDING DISCIPLINE
BEHAVIOR MANAGEMENT: describes techniques parents use to manage the behavior of children.
Examples: Nurturing Parenting Routines, Redirection, Child proofing your house, establishing family rules, morals and valuesBEHAVIOR ENCOURAGEMENT
: helps parents put the focus on encouraging children
to try their best, to cooperate, and to show respect and caring.
Examples: Praising children, gentle touch, helping children communicate their needs, wants feelings, establishing family rules, morals and values
BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION: describes techniques designed to correct undesirable behaviors in toddlers and preschoolers (2 years and older).
Examples: Time out, grounding, loss of privileges and restitution
**BABIES ARE NEVER PUNISHED FOR THEIR ACTIONS! THEY ARE TOO YOUNG TO PURPOSEFULLY MISBEHAVE**Slide20
WHY DO PARENTS SPANK?What Are Other Words Used to Describe Spanking?
Spanking is a process – it’s something parents DO and exists on a scale of severity
0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
NO Spanking Less Severe (swats) More severe (spankings) Most severe (beatings) Death of a child
Introduction Question:
What memories do you have of being spanked?Slide21
WHY DO PARENTS SPANK?Try This…
Take time to understand why you use spanking as a way of punishing children. Reflect back on the times that you were spanked as a child. Did your parents use the same reason for spanking you as you are using for spanking your children?Slide22
WHY DO PARENTS SPANK?Parents Hit Their Children…
Because of personal history
To teach them right from wrong As a form of punishment
As an “act of love”
To teach them respect
When they’re angry Based on religious writings
Because it’s a cultural practice
To prepare them for the real worldSlide23
WHY IS SPANKING DETRIMENTAL TO CHILDREN?
The approach to Nurturing Parenting is that spanking is always an abusive process regardless of marks or not.
Hitting a child, whatever word is used (swat, spank, etc.) is still violence: children will learn to hit others and rationalize it’s not really hurting.
Corporal Punishment means the child is unacceptable:
Children learn that being victimized is something they deserve in life.
Hitting out of love teaches children that people who love them, hurt them:
children may end up with someone who hurts them. Slide24
WHY IS SPANKING DETEMINTAL TO CHILDREN?
CORPORAL PUNISHMENT = BODY PENALTY When someone hits the body what non-verbal message does that send?THEY ARE …..
When you punish by other means than hitting, you’re telling the child that
WHAT THEY DID
was not acceptable
vs. WHO THEY ARESlide25
ALTERNATIVES TO SPANKINGSlide26
HOME PRACTICE ASSIGNMENT Read
Chapter 19 and Chapter 20 in Parent Handbook and complete written exercises.
Identify two things you like about the way you discipline your childrenIdentify two things you dislike about the way you discipline your children.What can you do to improve?
Do something to nurture yourself
Read “100 Ways to Nurture Yourself”Slide27
PRAISE CIRCLEPraise Circle
Compliment yourselfCompliment someone elseShare something new