LAKE – GEAUGA DISTRICT MEETING - PowerPoint Presentation

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LAKE – GEAUGA DISTRICT MEETING

MARCH 13, 2017Slide2

Pietro

Perugrino’s

“The Lamentation”Slide3
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Good Saint Joseph of Arimathea, you prepared with reverence the body of our Lord and Savior for burial. You were a follower who demonstrated tremendous bravery and kindness. You went to Pilate asking for permission to take Christ’s body from the cross at Calvary and prepared him for burial. You cleaned the tortured, bloodied body, anointed it with oils, shrouded it in linen and carried it to a cave tomb which had been prepared for your own use one day. May those who continue your work in preparing bodies for burial do so with the same reverence and kindness, and always remember that what they do for the least of their brethren, they do for you. Intercede on our behalf to the Lord so that we might have the grace and courage to love and serve Jesus and his people with sincere devotion all the days of our life.

Dear Lord, bless

all funeral directors and help them to be men and women who show mercy in their work of burying the dead, and may they bring comfort and peace to all who mourn the loss of a loved one

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We ask this in your name, Christ the Healer, who is Lord forever and ever. Amen. Slide5

Memorable FuneralsSlide6

How do you define “the Good Funeral?”

“It is important for parish staffs and funeral directors to work together to provide the best pastoral care for the bereaved family.”Slide7

FIVE TOPICS FOR DISCUSSIONS:

1. VISITATION

2. FUNERAL MASS OR FUNERAL WITHOUT MASS

3. CREMATION

4. EULOGIES

5. OTHERSlide8

CHANGING FUNERAL TRENDSSlide9

“THE GOOD FUNERAL” IN THE PAST WENT LIKE THIS:

P

erson died on MondayVisitation at a Funeral Home on Tuesday night

and then on Wednesday afternoon and Wednesday evening

Funeral Mass on Thursday morning at his or her parish church where they attended regularly

Burial in a Catholic Cemetery after Mass

LuncheonSlide10

As baby boomers age and find themselves having to plan funerals for loved ones and themselves, they are making funeral choices based on values that are different than previous generations. Baby boomers see funerals as a valuable part of the grieving process and are seeking ways to make them meaningful.

Funeral

service consumers are planning funeral services that are as unique as the person who died. The idea of personalization has resulted in an explosion of unique services that reflect the hobbies, passions and interests of someone who has died. Through personalization, funeral services can be more meaningful. Funeral directors can offer ideas on how families can personalize their loved one's funeral and are open to family suggestions and creativity

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The Popularity of PersonalizationSlide11

The funeral service

should be a reflection of your loved one’s life that makes an

emotional connection with all those in attendance. Contemporary thought as it relates to funerals incorporates not only a person’s religious tradition, if any, but also that which allows you to remember your loved one’s hobbies, interests, or a certain quality that made them like no other person.

If you have attended a funeral recently, you may have seen a

collage

of photographs, a memorial video, personal items of the deceased on display, special mementos, eulogies from close friends or family, special

life tribute

ceremonies,

balloon releases

or any other number of unique tributes. All of this is done to help make the funeral more personal, to illustrate that which was unique about the person’s life, and to help those who have lost someone special begin to heal. If the funeral service you are planning will be following a prescribed religious ritual,

your priest, rabbi or minister can advise as to when any personalized tributes can be incorporated into the events leading up to or during the funeral service, if appropriate.

EMOTIONAL CONNECTION … IF APPROPRIATE …Slide12

THERE IS A TENSION WHICH CAN EXIST BETWEEN THE PERSONALIZATION OF FUNERALS AND THE CHURCH’S RIGHT TO CERTAIN RITESSlide13

Whose funeral is this and what are we trying to do? When religious tradition is less present, personalization increases in value to family.Slide14

Christian Burial in the Diocese of Cleveland, March 1993

Introduction to the Order of Christian FuneralsSlide15

“the Church intercedes on behalf of the deceased because of its confident belief that death is not the end nor does it break the bonds forged in life. The Church ministers to the sorrowing and consoles them in the funeral rites with the

comforting word of God and the sacrament of the Eucharist.

Christians celebrate the funeral rites to offer worship, praise and thanksgiving to God for the gift of a life which has now returned to God. The Mass is the principal celebration of the Christian funeral … The Church

commends the dead to God’s merciful love and pleads for forgiveness of their sins.”Slide16

TRADITIONAL FUNERAL CONSISTS OF THREE PARTS:

1.VISITATION AT A FUNERAL HOME – VIGIL FOR THE DECEASED

2. FUNERAL MASS AT THE CHURCH (OR FUNERAL SERVICE WITHOUT MASS)3. BURIAL SERVICE AT THE CEMETERYSlide17

TWO DAY VISITATION AT A FUNERAL HOME IS GONESlide18

No time for a vigil serviceSlide19
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VISITATION AT THE CHURCHSlide21

Is there a time when it is appropriate to do so? What would be the reasons to do so?

Elderly person with few people anticipated for a viewing

Family cannot afford a visitationOnly for a short time before the Funeral MassWhen a very large crowd is anticipatedSlide22

What is appropriate to do at the time of visitation? When should a Vigil Service be done? Who should do it or can do it?Slide23
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Visitation discussion

When is it appropriate to do visitation at the church?

What are the problems in doing so?Slide25

FUNERAL MASSSlide26

In discerning the appropriateness of the funeral Mass, the makeup of the assembly should be considered.Slide27

When is it appropriate to not have a Funeral Mass? Is it appropriate to recommend not having one or to encourage families to have one?Slide28

The funeral liturgy is normally celebrated in the parish church to which the deceased belonged … it is possible to choose any Catholic church for a funeral liturgy, provided that the pastor of that church agrees and the pastor of the deceased has been informed. The funeral mass may not be celebrated in funeral homes without the permission from the chancery in individual cases.Slide29

CONVENIENCE OF SATURDAY FOR FAMILIESSlide30

PRAYERS REQUESTED ON SATURDAY BETWEEN 3:00 & 7:00 AT THE PARLORSlide31

Are there ways to limit the number of funerals on Saturdays or some restrictions which can be placed regarding the time of funerals on Saturdays?

Can there be a pool of pastoral ministers or deacons who may wish to assist with Saturday celebrations?Slide32

Funeral with mass or without mass

When is it appropriate to have Mass or not have Mass?

When is Funeral Service/Mass to be celebrated?Where is Funeral Service to be celebrated?Slide33

BURIAL SERVICE AT CEMETERY: The body of the deceased is to be buried or entombed … these practices demonstrate Christian faith awaiting the resurrectionSlide34
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How do you encourage people to bury the cremains?

The ashes must be placed in a grave or niche in a mausoleum known as a columbarium. They are never to be kept in the possession of the family or scattered, since these practices are not the reverent disposition the Church requires.Slide36
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Will there be some direction from the Diocese regarding the requirement of cremains being buried?

There is a need to educate people regarding the teaching of the Church – sometime prior to the loss of a loved one.Slide39

Pious practice of burying the dead:

It is a corporal work of mercy, and mirroring the burial of Christ, it more clearly expresses hope in the resurrection

The final resting place is marked with the person’s name with which he was baptized & called by God

It is an expression of belief in the communion of saints, the unity in Christ of all the baptized

Believers have a right to pray at a tomb and to remember the deceased

We belong to a community of faith not just our relativesIt prevents the faithful from being forgotten or their remains being shown a lack of respectSlide40

cremation

How to encourage families to not keep ashes, scatter ashes, wear ashes, divide ashes, etc.?

How to discourage families from by-passing funeral directors?Is the Memorial Service becoming the norm?Slide41

WHAT ARE WE TO DO WITH EULOGIES OR

REMARKS OF REMEMBRANCE?

LET’S BURY THE EULOGY!Slide42

TOO MANY OR TOO LONG OR TOO INAPPROPRIATESlide43

A member or a friend of the family may speak in remembrance of the deceased before the final commendation begins and should ordinarily be allowed.Slide44

Should there be a Diocesan policy (pending), a District policy or a parish policy? There are samples of policies available on-line. Slide45

In a Catholic funeral, the “Remarks of Remembrance” should be seen as a way to give praise and thanks to God for the life of the deceased … how God has been acting in the life and in the death of the deceased or how God blessed us and the world through the life and faithful example of the deceased.Slide46

They should not be a listing of the accomplishments of the deceased. Even more so, care should be taken that the remarks do not become a recitation of stories about the speaker …ordinarily, there is to be only one person.Slide47

A time should be set aside during the Vigil/wake or at the after-funeral gathering for more people to share remarks individually. The person chosen to offer Remarks should be able to maintain composure while speaking. It becomes very uncomfortable for all present when grief overcomes the speaker.Slide48

Given the sacred nature of the Mass … not permitted to share stories, use language or perform any action which is in poor taste,

disrespectful

of the deceased or embarrassing to anyone present for the funeral … remarks are to be written and not given “off-the-cuff.” They must not appear to be excessively long

or more important than the Mass itself … they should be no more than one single -spaced typewritten page.Slide49

EULOGIES AND REMARKS OF REMEMBRANCE

Any ideas on what to do or how to do it?Slide50

SUPPORT GROUPS FOR THE BEREAVEDSlide51

CAN THERE BE A LIST OF GRIEF SUPPORT GROUPS FOR THE LAKE – GEAUGA DISTRICT?

OR A LIST OF SUPPORT GROUPS IN THE WIDER COMMUNITY?Slide52

FEES:

CELEBRANT (VIGIL, MASS & BURIAL)

CHURCHMUSICIANSSlide53

WHAT KIND OF MUSIC IS AND IS NOT APPROPRIATE AT MASS?Slide54

THE INDIGENT PERSON AND HOW TO HELP THE DECEASED AND THE FAMILY?