Emotionally Focused Couples therapy Consider it a sheer gift friends when tests and challenges come at you from all sides You know that under pressure your faithlife is forced into the open and shows its true colors So dont try to get out of anything prematurely Let it do its work so you ID: 474816
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Presented by: Deidre A. Prewitt, MSMFC, LPC
Emotionally Focused Couples therapySlide2
Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don’t try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way
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James 1: 2-4 The Message
This is the test before the testimony
…but Couples are so difficult!!Slide3
Evidence-Based
It gets to the “heart of the matter”
Couples get it and continue to get itThe change has a ripple
effectResearch shows a 70% distress recovery at the end of EFT and 90% of couples show improvement
within a year after treatment
Why EFT?Slide4
Ongoing Affair
Any kind of abuse
Differing goals
Separating couples
Actively under the influenceUntreated psychological conditions
Why not eft?Slide5
Blamer softening
Reprocess and reorganize attachment Injuries
Access underlying emotions
Creates a secure attachment
Key ConceptsSlide6
Every person is an emotional being
Teaching communication is useless
Couples do not need assistance with problem solving
Major AssumptionsSlide7
R—Repeat
I—Images
S—Simple
S—Soft
C—Client’s WordsRISSCSlide8
Stage 1-Cycle de-escalationSlide9
Stage 2-change interactional PositionsSlide10
Stage 3- Consolidation of new positionsSlide11
Relationship Checkup (Gottman) $29 per couple
-Meta-emotions
-Family of Origin
-SCL-90 -Locke-Wallace
Tracking the cycleValidating without alienatingJoining the systemBuilding relationship with both partners
Steps 1& 2- AssessmentSlide12
Accessing Underlying Emotions
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Anger is a secondary emotion
-”Catching the bullet”Accessing Attachment Needs
-”Slice it thinner”Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love
Ephesians 4:2
Steps 3 & 4- De-escalationSlide13
Disowned attachment emotions, needs, and aspects of self.
Blamer
softening/allowing flesh to diePartners will use EVERY defense mechanism they have!!
*Partner’s attachment to God becomes apparent *Shame, fear, and grief
Steps
5 & 6- Expanding and heighteningSlide14
Step 7- expressing needs and wantsSlide15
THIS IS “THE MOMENT”Enactments
Vulnerability
The person in the therapistMakes sure your blamer is truly softRe-engage the withdrawer
STEP 7- Expressing Needs and wantsSlide16
Cycle is changed
New insights
Attachment Rituals
And I will give them one heart, and I will put a new spirit within you; and I will take the stony heart out of their flesh, and will give them a heart of flesh. Ezekiel 11:19
Steps 8 & 9- ConsolidationSlide17
EFT Role PlaySlide18
Two can accomplish more than twice as much as one, for the results can be much better.
10
If one falls, the other pulls him up; but if a man falls when he is alone, he’s in trouble.
11 Also, on a cold night, two under the same blanket gain warmth from each other, but how can one be warm alone? 12 And one standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer; three is even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 The Living Bible
conclusion