COMMUNITY ACCOMPANIMENT OF MEMBERS - PDF document

COMMUNITY ACCOMPANIMENT OF MEMBERS i In January 1994, the Zone Councils of North America distributed “Community Accompaniment in L’Arche – Reflections and Guidelines”. Its text gathered the wisdom and the brief experience of L’Arche with community accompaniment. Our experience, insights and questions have continued to evolve. This current document reflects that further development. In this document, community accompaniment of members refers to members who are assistants. It is our hope that accompaniment will also evolve fo COMMUNITY ACCOMPANIMENT OF MEMBERS i ..................................................................................................... iii I. FORMATION AND COMMUNITY ACCOMPANIMENT................................. II. WHAT IS ACCOMPANIMENT? .................................................................... III. RELATIONSHIP OF COMMUNITY ACCOMPANIMENT TO COMMUNITY PROCESSES AND STRUCTURE.................................. IV. ETHICAL GUIDELINES................................................................................. A. CONFIDENTIALITY............................................................................. B. BOUNDARIES..................................................................................... C. AUTHORITY........................................................................................ D. CONFLICT REST.................................................................. V. COMMITMENT TO ACCOMPANIMENTA. COMMUNITY COMMITMENT............................................................. B. ACCOMPANIER’S COMMITMENT..................................................... C. MEMBER’S COMMITMENT................................................................ D. REGION/ZONE COMMITMENT.......................................................... VI. SUPERVISION AND FORMATION OF COMMUNITY ACCOMPANIERS.... VII. FRAMEWORK FOR ACCOMPANIMENT...................................................... A. ACCOMPANIMING ........................................................... B. ROLE DESCRIPTION OF THE ACCOMPANIMENT COORDINAC)............................................................... C. ROLE DESCRIPTION OF MPANIER................. VIII. STAGES OF DEVELOPMENT 14........................................................................................................... A. CHARTER OF THE CORCHE............................. A-1 B. MISSION STT....................................................................... C. KEY ELEMENTS OF COMMUNITY................................. C-1 D. OTHER TYPES OF ENT............................................. E. REFLECTION QUESTIONS TO PREPARE FOR THE ACCOMPANIMING................................................. F. SKILLS USED IN ENT................................................ COMMUNITY ACCOMPANIMENT OF MEMBERS In the Gospel of Luke (24:13-35), we read about two followers of Jesus who are on a journey to Emmaus. They talk with each other about all the things that had happened and about their hopes, their joys, their fears, and their disappointments. Jesus, unrecognized, joins them on this journey. As they walk, He listens to them, He questions them, and challenges them. He helps them to understand and interpret their experiences in the light of His mission. Then, as they share a meal with Him, they recognize Him in the breaking of the bread. ‘Their hearts are burning.’ Their experience has been enlightened and affirmed. With great eagerness, they rejoin their Each one of us is on a personal journey. Our journey has brought us to L’Arche. On our journey, Jesus walks with us, just as He walked with His disciples. L’Arche too is on a journey of discovering and deepening in its mission to create home with people with a developmental disability. In L’Arche, we are called to walk with each other with the same compassion, acceptance and desire for growth that Jesus had for His followers. As we develop and deepen the bonds with the people we live with, we are challenged to grow in faithful relationships. Accompaniment is one of the supports provided by L’Arche, which enables us to be faithful to our journey in its mission. COMMUNITY ACCOMPANIMENT OF MEMBERS I. FORMATION AND COMMUNITY ACCOMPANIMENT Formation, both formal and informal, is provided so that a member can learn about the L'Arche community and acquire the skills needed to live in it. Formation programs/events, consistent with the vision of L'Arche, and offered Accompaniment is one aspect of this larger formation program. It is provided by the community so that a member can appropriate what he/she is learning in formation. It is a place where the member can talk about how this is happening in his/her life. It is a place where the community can listen to and respond to the COMMUNITY ACCOMPANIMENT OF MEMBERS II. WHAT IS ACCOMPANIMENT? People come to L'Arche for various reasons. Sometimes the reason is identified as a call from God. Their response to the call is in keeping with the founding of "L'Arche began in 1964 when Jean Vanier and Father Thomas Philippe, in response to a call from God, invited Raphael Simi and Philippe Seux, two men with mental handicaps, to come and share their life in the spirit of the gospel and of the Beatitudes that Jesus As a member grows in his/her understanding of life in L'Arche, it is crucial to the well being of both the individual and the community that time is set aside for reflection. This helps the member to consider his/her call and to discern if it is in Accompaniment then is a commitment between a member and his/her accompanier to meet regularly in order to reflect upon and “break open” the member's experience of living in the L’Arche community. The member brings a desire to discover more and more what life in L'Arche is all about, and a willingness to live his/her life in harmony with the community’s journey. The accompanier offers wisdom, insights and support in order to help the member understand and interpret his/her experience in the light of the mission of L’Arche. As trust in this relationship grows, the accompanier will be able to affirm and challenge the member to move through the passages that occur as he/she Accompaniment is an integral part of the community’s processes of formation and discernment. It is one of the places in which a member can receive both affirmation and challenge regarding how he/she is living the mission of l’Arche, in order to support his/her discernment process for all the decisions he/she has to make. These decisions may range from whether to make a particular retreat, to considering a change of role, as well as to discern if he/she is called to continued This document focuses on "Community Accompaniment". For a brief description of other types of accompaniment used in L'Arche, see "Other Charter of the Communities of L'Arche Preamble, Appendix A. COMMUNITY ACCOMPANIMENT OF MEMBERS III. RELATIONSHIP OF COMMUNITY ACCOMPANIMENT TO Community accompaniment is an integral part of a community’s processes of 1. Be knowledgeable about processes used in the community. 2. Be aware of how these processes are evolving for the persons they 3. Be aware of the goals that have been set for the persons they accompany, so that they can support and challenge them in working toward these objectives. The member could bring his/her latest evaluation form to the 4. Be able to challenge the person they accompany to follow proper 5. Take their concerns regarding a person they accompany to the Accompaniment Coordinator, who will in turn take these concerns to the appropriate reference person(s). The proper procedures will be followed so It is essential that the community, the accompanier and the person being accompanied are clear about what these processes are and how they are carried out. Accompaniers will help members understand and accept the structures that are in place in the community. They will encourage those they accompany to honor the authority carried by other members in their roles. In times of conflict or grievance, accompaniers will guide those they accompany through the conflict The title Accompaniment Coordinator refers to COMMUNITY ACCOMPANIMENT OF MEMBERS IV. ETHICAL GUIDELINES A. CONFIDENTIALITY 1. Principle The accompaniment relationship is viewed in L’Arche as a safe place for a member to talk about his/her personal journey. Information shared An exception to this rule is: When the safety or well being of the member or any other member of the community, or the community as a whole, (or any other When required by law For the purpose of the defense of a legal action brought by the 2. Process In situations when information must be forwarded, the following i) the accompanier asks the member to share the necessary ii) if the member is unwilling to do this, the accompanier offers to iii) if the member refuses, the accompanier informs the person that to the appropriate reference iv) the accompanier notifies the Accompaniment Coordinator of the process so that he/ she can ensure the proper procedures are v) in situations of alleged abus COMMUNITY ACCOMPANIMENT OF MEMBERS 5 A. CONFIDENTIALITY – cont’d. 2. Process cont’d. In any other cases, if the accompanier feels that he/she has to carry efit of the member he/she accompanies, he/she needs to have the written permission of the 3. Policy Each community must have a written policy on confidentiality. The This policy is explained and a copy given to each assistant at a formation session on accompaniment and it is to be reviewed at the B. BOUNDARIES The prime focus of community accompaniment is the member's experience of living within the L'Arche community.work with this experience and will advise the member to seek out the appropriate form of therapeutic counseling or spiritual accompaniment C. AUTHORITY The accompaniment coordinator and the community accompanier have the authority delegated to themby the Community Leader to carry out the D. CONFLICT OF INTEREST A person in a role of authority does not accompany a member within his/her realm of authority. An exception to this is during the orientation phase of community membership, when accompaniment has a mentoring Also, if an accompanier is deeply involved emotionally in a particular issue or conflict within the community, he/she does not accompany a member who is similarly involved. (This may be a tempor COMMUNITY ACCOMPANIMENT OF MEMBERS 6 In order for community accompaniment to be effective, all concerned must make A. COMMUNITY COMMITMENT Have policies in place detailing the requirements around accompaniment, i.e. confidentiality, frequency, process, role descriptions for accompaniment coordinator and accompaniers, criteria on which selections are based. These policies need to be in harmony Ensure that all accompaniers and assistants are aware of these B. ACCOMPANIER’S COMMITMENT (Refer to - Appendix F, Skills Used In Accompaniment - Role Description VII, C.) C. MEMBER'S COMMITMENT To be willing to be on time and prepared for accompaniment meetings(See Reflection Questions to Prepare for the Accompaniment Meeting, To be willing to follow through with the recommendations that have D. REGION/ZONE COMMITMENT To ensure that accompaniment policies and handbooks are kept To provide current lists of regional accompaniers to the COMMUNITY ACCOMPANIMENT OF MEMBERS 7 VI. SUPERVISION AND FORMATION OF COMMUNITY The Accompaniment Coordinator is responsible for ensuring that accompaniers A. The Accompaniment Coordinator will meet regularly with each 1. Provide a place for the accompanier to check-in and to identify boundaries, value conflicts or any other issues that may arise in the accompaniment sessions, 2. Ensure that proper procedures are followed and that confidentiality is 3. Monitor that each accompanier is growing in the skills/attitudes 4. Carry out an annual evaluation of each accompanier, 5. Ascertain that the accompanier is meeting regularly with the B. The Accompaniment Coordinator will meet with the body of accompaniers 1. Provide ongoing formation in the areas of personal growth and skill 2. Share any pertinent information regarding community life,C. The Accompaniment Coordinator will determine common issues that arise in accompaniment and bring these to the attention of the Community D. The Accompaniment Coordinator will check in regularly with members and accompaniers to ascertain that the accompaniment relationship is positive guidance when a change is deemed COMMUNITY ACCOMPANIMENT OF MEMBERS 8 VII. FRAMEWORK FOR ACCOMPANIMENT A. ACCOMPANIMENT MEETING The accompanier is responsible for setting a place and time for the meeting. He/she arranges to meet at a place that is appropriate for listening, sharing and dialogue. Twith a time of prayer that is respectful to the spiritual life of both. The accompanier will listen and ask questions that will help the member clarify and appropriate what is being experienced and learnedin the community. The accompanier will assist in exploring possible options and will challenge the The accompanier will affirm the person in his/her journey, and ascertain when supports might be necessary (e.g. therapeutic counseling and spiritual direction, self-help groups, conflict resolution, etc.). The accompanier will point out the resources available to the community and The accompanier and the member will arrange a time and place for the For a fuller explanation of the skills used during an accompaniment session, see Appendix F. COMMUNITY ACCOMPANIMENT OF MEMBERS VII. FRAMEWORK FOR ACCOMPANIMENTcont’d.B. ROLE DESCRIPTION OF THE ACCOMPANIMENT COORDINATOR Summary of Role The Accompaniment Coordinator leads the process to select accompaniers and is responsible for their formation and supervision. He/she ensures that members receive formation on accompaniment and that they are being accompanied. The Accompaniment Coordinator holds members they accompany to the The Accompaniment Coordinator is accountable to the Community Leader According to the community guidelines. Criteria for Accompaniment Coordinator 1. Upholds the Identity, Mi2. Exhibits qualities of personal maturity. 3. Works at forming relationships with members of the community. 4. Addresses his/her own issues of personal growth. 5. Is regularly accompanied him/her self. 6. Is faithful to his/her own spiritual journey and supports the spiritual 7. Recognizes and accepts authority in the community. 8. Is willing to accept and follow the community, Region, Zone and 9. Is committed to his/her own ongoing formation. 10. Is able to maintain confidentiality. Skills: 1. Has the ability to develop and implement a formation program for 2. Has the ability to supervise accompaniers and hold them 3. Is able to listen well, to affirm, and to challenge when necessary. 4. Is able to access other resources when necessary. COMMUNITY ACCOMPANIMENT OF MEMBERS, APPENDIX F F - 1VII. FRAMEWORK FOR ACCOMPANIMENTcont’d.B. ROLE DESCRIPTION OF THE ACCOMPANIMENT COORDINATOR– cont’d. 1. To match members with accompaniers. 2. To recruit accompaniers according to the screening process 3. To form and supervise accompaniers. a) To schedule regular meetings with the accompaniers in order b) To gather resource material (videos, books, tapes) for the formation of accompaniers and c) To provide formation on accompaniment for new assistants. d) To ensure that - A presentation on accompaniment is given annually, - The community’s policies and practices around e) To check with accompaniers and members regularly to f) To evaluate accompaniers annually. 4. To have on hand the current 5. To attend Regional and Zone workshops on accompaniment. 6. To assure that there is representation from the accompaniers at 7. To review the list of accompaniers annually with the Community 8. To adhere to ethical guidelines as outlined in the community 9. To adhere to the structures of authority as outlined in the 10. To gather and make available information about spiritual directors Authority The Accompaniment Coordinator has the authority to act on the COMMUNITY ACCOMPANIMENT OF MEMBERS, APPENDIX F F - 2VII. FRAMEWORK FOR ACCOMPANIMENT – B. ROLE DESCRIPTION OF THE ACCOMPANIMENT COORDINATOR – cont’d. The Accompaniment Coordinator will be evaluated at least annually, COMMUNITY ACCOMPANIMENT OF MEMBERS, APPENDIX F F - 3VII. FRAMEWORK FOR ACCOMPANIMENTcont’d. C. ROLE DESCRIPTION OF COMMUNITY ACCOMPANIER Summary of Role The role of the Community Accompanier is to provide an opportunity for the community members they accompany to explore their experience of L’Arche and to interpret its meaning for the members that they accompany accountable to the community policies The Accompanier is accountable to the Accompaniment Coordinator or Criteria for Community Accompaniers 1. Upholds the Identity, Mission and Charter2. Exhibits qualities of personal maturity. 3. Forms relationships with members of the community. 4. Addresses his/her own issues of personal growth. 5. Is regularly accompanied him/herself. 6. Is faithful to his/her own spiritual journey and supports the spiritual 7. Is able to keep clear boundaries and separation from the issues of 8. Is willing to listen, affirm, and challenge when necessary. 9. Is willing to accept personal limitations and is able to refer persons 10. Recognises and accepts authority in the community. 11. Is willing to accept and follow the Community, Region and Zone 12. Is committed to his/her ongoing formation. 13. Is able to maintain confidentiality. COMMUNITY ACCOMPANIMENT OF MEMBERS, APPENDIX F F - 4VII. FRAMEWORK FOR ACCOMPANIMENTcont’d.. ROLE DESCRIPTION OF COMMUNITY ACCOMPANIER- cont’d. 1. To ensure accompaniment meetings are held regularly (usually 2. To listen, reflect, affirm, challenge and ask questions which assist i) Listen to their life-experience and wisdom. ii) Reflect on, discover, and be responsible for their journey in iii) Make choices that are life giving for both the individual and the 3. To be familiar with, and adhere to, all community policies, 4. To challenge those they accompany to be accountable to 5. To share with and give guidance to those they accompany from 6. To be aware of Formation topics being covered in the community, and encourage those they accompany to reflect on and appropriate 7. To receive accompaniment. 8. To attend accompaniers' meetings and formation. 9. To check-in with the Accompaniment Coordinator and identify boundaries, value conflicts or any issues that may arise in the 10. To adhere to the ethical guidelines as outlined in the community 11. To adhere to the structures The Accompanier has the authority to act on the responsibilities as Evaluation at least annually, based on the COMMUNITY ACCOMPANIMENT OF MEMBERS, APPENDIX F F - 5Our experience of the journey in L'Arche tells us that we are going to be led through many passages. Each stage of this journey presents us with discoveries and challenges, opportunities for growth and service, and a call to enter more deeply into the mission of L'Arche. We believe that regular accompaniment provides the opportunity for reflectingon and questioning the choices in front of us, and for We have identified the following stages of development. These stages correspond with the phases of Community membership as outlinedin the L’Arche Canada Membership Document. The privileges and expectations of each phase apply to all subsequent phases of Community Membership. We then build on what we have learned and We are aware that community cannot rely on accompaniment alone to help assistants and others to integrate their experience with the vision, mission and Charter of l’Arche. This integration needs to be embedded in all aspects of community life. Community Members in Orientation Membership (after an initial probationary period until 2 years) Orientation Membership completion of an initial probationary period and a formal evaluation. Normally this initial from 3 to 6 months.Once accepted as Orientation Members, the life and work of the community is usually experiencedwithin specific homes. It is a time of getting to knowthe other community members and ofparticipating more actively in community life. During this phase members, in most instances, will not be asked to As members begin their journey in Community they are often full of enthusiasm and energy. They are discovering a new way of life. Many of them are also becoming aware of and/or rediscovering their spiritual journey. They have friends, other ways of living and, in some cases, their countries and are now confronted by different cultural valuesThe community wants to discover, value and receive the We recognize that accompaniment in the first year in l’Arche is an important way to invest in members during this initial phase of membership. Accompaniment at this stage is one of the key supports provided to themin assisting them to learn about the treasure During this time of orientation and learning, new members need to be affirmed in the strengths and gifts that they bring. They also need to be guided in developing relationships with other members of the community and in working on teams. They need to beas they learn to understand L’Arche, its traditions, values and structures. There will be many questions about the traditions and values of the community, as well as anxiety about the many practical tasks that needto be learned. COMMUNITY ACCOMPANIMENT OF MEMBERS, APPENDIX F F - 6They may have unrealistic ideas about the community’s expectations of them, and Accompaniment, at this stage, has a mentoring component with a focus on teaching/ sharing about community life as well as assisting people to reflectthat they are learning. The accompaniers take the initiative to set regular meetings, and are active in asking the members about their experiences in all aspects of community life. One of the tasks in this stage is helping the members reflect on the experiences of their daily lives and reassuring them of the validity of their experiences, feelings and questions. Helping and encouraging them to integrate their experiences promotes growth and self-awarenessAnother important task is helping the members to reflect on and discover the gifts of the people with developmental disabilities. It is important to they are learning in formation, what they are learning about the L’Arche vision in all aspects of community life, and to challenge them to integrate this into their daily lives. When conflicts arise, it is important to guide the members in following the proper procedures as outlined in the community. With all the members discern whether or not they wish to move into the next phase of membership (Discovery) and live longer in a Accompaniers at this stage needs to be kept up to date as to what is happening in formation, community processes, procedures, policies, evaluations of assistants, major changes in the community, etc. They need ongoing training and experience as In communities where a coordinator or director does not carry responsibility for accompaniment during this phase, and whercommunity members at the discovery or intentional stage could be asked to take on this Discovery Membership (after two years until four years) The period of Discovery Membership is a time for members to become more integrated into L'Arche and tolearn its culture. It is a time to continue to grow into the home and community life of L’Arche and to strengthen relationships with other community During this stage, members deepen their relationships within the community. They have an increasing sense of belonging and are trying to find their own place in the community through greater participation on committees and in carrying roles of different responsibilities. They are becoming more aware of the larger family of L'Arche. At the same time, as theyare becoming more aware of and accepting of their own limitations COMMUNITY ACCOMPANIMENT OF MEMBERS, APPENDIX F F - 7and those of the community, they may also beealities. They are At this stage, members need to be affirmed in their experiences and feelings, supported in their struggles and questions and challenged to grow. Accompaniers will need tothem to reflect on their relationships and onthe life they receive from them. They will also help the members see the reality of the community and to explore what that means for them. Accompaniment now also focuses on helping members toquestions in front of them and to explore the possibility of a further commitment to Accompaniers at this stage need to have deeply integrated the Charter of l’Arche in their own experience. At this time it would be helpful for them to get to know those they accompany in the context of the community, apart from their accompaniment sessions. members of the community, this could be done, for (four years to eight years) Intentional Membership is the time during which members deepen their spiritual life and begin to explore the possibility of choosing a vocation in L'Arche. During this phase of membership the formation offered shifts from a more functional focus to one that recognizes L'Arche as a spiritual way. The discover the gift of faithful relationships with others in the commbers of the community and have a growing At this stage, members have made a commitment to their relationships with the people with a disability and other community members. They have experienced the grace and the gift of L'Arche and live with gratitude for that gift. They have accepted the mission of L’Arche and are in the process of considering confirmed membership. They are growing in an inner freedom that allows them to accept the other community members as they are. Carrying various roles of responsibility and authority, they acquire a Maintaining a healthy rhythm of life may now be more difficult as members have accepted more ownership of the community. Accompaniers may have to challenge them to make choices that are conducive to growth and to "staying well." The strengthening and deepening of the relationships with others in the greater family of L'Arche is a great support. Workshops, deepen in the mission are essential. During this stage, the daily routlife become more integrated. Spiritual and community accompaniment complement Accompaniers need to have the maturity to be able to step back from the community issues in order to be as objective as possible. In times of conflict, it is essential that the COMMUNITY ACCOMPANIMENT OF MEMBERS, APPENDIX F F - 8One of the primary tasks of accompaniers is to accompany the members to follow a Accompaniment at this stage requires a solid understanding of the vision of l’Arche and of the membership processes, as well as the ability to ask challenging questions. The accompaniers need to have effective listening skills and the ability to keep perspective (minimum of 8 years +) Confirmed Membership means a mutual long-term commitment between members and their local community. At this stage of membership a vocation to L’Arche is recognized.This commitment is also affirmed by the Region and supported by the Zone. Confirmed Members recognize that they are on a journey of faith to live a covenant spirituality in L’Arche in response to a call from God. This journey of faith is recognized and Confirmed Members live this journey of faith by being actively engaged with the life of their community, in order to fulfil the Mission of L’Arche. They may carry roles in their local communities as well as at other levels of L’Arche (Region, Zone…). The community and the local board are committed to provide the general conditions Confirmed members take responsibility for their own personal growth and for the growth of their communities. They carry the history of their communities and their wisdom and experience contribute to the fulfillment of the mission in a particular way. Faithful relationships with all other community members have become their anchor. They are s and designated body(s) need to be an integral part of the process as members move in and out of various roles of As members stay longer accompaniment remains an important suTheir accompaniment needs may change; in fact, for most long-term members At this stage of membershipdeepening their vocation, in staying well, and in taking responsibility for their own well-being, In seeking the supports needed in times of transition, in remaining in positive relationships with other members, in finding meaning in the different ways of supporting Accompaniers at this stage require life experience, healthy boundaries, wisdom and COMMUNITY ACCOMPANIMENT OF MEMBERS, APPENDIX F F - 9A. CHARTER B. MISSION STATEMENT C. KEY ELEMENTS OF A L’ARCHE COMMUNITY D. OTHER TYPES OF ACCOMPANIMENT E. REFLECTION QUESTIONS TO PREPARE FOR THE F. SKILLS USED IN ACCOMPANIMENT ACCOMPANIMENT OF MEMBERS L’ARCHE WESTERN CANADA REGION 2008 COMMUNITY ACCOMPANIMENT OF MEMBERS, APPENDIX F F - 5 JUNE 2008 3. Challenging - cont'd. some of the better options while giving the person freedom and time to choose his/her own way. You need to ask some of the perennial L'Arche accompaniment questions such as: "What about times of solitude? Retreat? Prayer?" "How did you spend your time away?" "Can you give those other people permission to be who they are without needing to 'fix' them?" "Are you able to try to live without always having clear answers to your questions?" "What are you reading these days?" "When did you last do some physical exercise?" Where do you have 'fun' in the community?" "What other supports (besides accompaniment) are you finding to help you to live in community?" These questions simply challenge the member to keep trying to choose a more balanced and coherent life. The answers and the choices, as we all well know, take time. 4. Affirming You, the accompanier, have to discover and believe in the unique goodness of the one you accompany. By listening to and validating his/her feelings, you help the member bring to light his/her true identity – the strengths and the areas of growth. The member needs to hear that his/her value is not in his/her role or work but in whom he/she is as a person. As an accompanier, you must try to articulate what you know about the person's gifts, growth and inner beauty. He/she will need to hear this many times. Affirmation given in a spirit of truth will assist the member to recognize and accept his/her true value within the community. 5. Summarizing A summation, at the conclusion of each meeting, attempts to put the jumble of puzzle pieces into a compact picture. Give a brief restatement of the issues and feelings talked about. Select the relevant data that will help the member understand the main elements of his/her situation. Review the resources/options/attitudes/actions that the member has chosen or can choose to act on. Refocus on the mission of L'Arche. Situate the issues/feelings/choices/growth of the member in the mission/vocation of L'Arche.

COMMUNITY ACCOMPANIMENT OF MEMBERS, APPENDIX F F - 4 JUNE 2008 2. Clarifying and Questioning - cont'dc) "What supports do you need that you can follow through with your choices?" The aim of your question is to call the member you accompany to maturity and not to dependency. You cannot know what she/he 'should' do, but you want to support him/her to find the ways to live these personal choices. You, as an accompanier, are one among a number of supports. Your responsibility is to point out the other kinds of support which she/he may not recognize as supports. You can share about how being close to certain core members can be a real support, or how spending time in solitude will help to keep a good perspective, or how friendship and exercise and lifestyle either help or hinder making choices. By your questions, you help the member you accompany to recognize the supports that are present to help him/her live in community. You can grow in the skill of asking good questions which supports the member to clarify for him/her what is being lived and what can be chosen. Because answers and choices, for the most part, rest within the person, you do a real service by questioning and listening before suggesting and challenging. 3. Challenging Accompaniment does however, go beyond listening and supporting! As the guide you have to be directive too! The midwife does not get caught in the pain but calls the mother to persist towards new birth. You will be witness to some of the blind spots and blockages of the one you accompany. This is the point at which you need to trust yourself, remembering your mandate from the community. You also need to trust the one you accompany, believing that she/he is not made of glass; that deep down she/he wants to grow. Like the guide and like the midwife you have a certain authority based on your experience. You can announce that L'Arche, as a Christian community, is a place of healing. When it is not destructive, you can direct the person you accompany to go back into community situations to work with relationships where there is conflict and difficulty. Accompaniment calls you to suggest that she/he consider retreating from situations in which she/he has become too enmeshed. You can actively offer support to allow the person to find the way to 'stay in it well', or to 'leave well'. Doing either 'well' is usually quite a challenge! You must be sensitive to the fundamental resistance in everyone to change very radically, but you must also find creative ways to invite, encourage and point to COMMUNITY ACCOMPANIMENT OF MEMBERS, APPENDIX F F - 3 JUNE 2008 2. Clarifying and Questioning - cont'd.a) "What is happening for you in the community and how do you feel about it?" A member generally talks about events, and they are important, but you, as an accompanier, are there to guide the person you accompany to talk about him/herself – personal reactions and personal responses to these events. You lead the conversation by phrases, paraphrases, or questions to help focus and avoid getting lost along the way in talk just about events or about others and how she/he might like them to change! You can help the person to clarify by phrases and questions like: "What I hear you saying is....." "You feel....." "I'm picking up that ....." "So you feel...happy?" (sad? frustrated? afraid?) "From your point of view, you/....." Then end the sentence by explaining what you have heard the person say. Generally she/he will respond to this, thus further clarifying and focusing on real feelings and issues. b) "So, what does this mean for you? "How do you want to go forward from here? What would YOU like to do about your questions and difficulties?" (As opposed to what you feel someone else, or the community, should do!) This question helps bring recognition that she/he has options and choices about how to live in community. His/her response doesn't always have to depend on another's expectations, or on personal feelings. There are choices! And these choices have meaning with respect to the person's identity and desires. One choice is to respond from the place of feeling: pain, hurt, anger, or laziness. Another choice can rise from deeper aspirations of love, justice and truth. Because both choices are painful, she/he is choosing to accept a certain form of pain. You are the guide, listening and pointing to the consequences of these choices. You need patience, to wait and see what she/he can find within him/herself before pointing to some further considerations. It is so important that you do not talk too much, that you do not know the answers, that you do not flood the person with all kinds of "shoulds". You can however, suggest that she/he consider options which may not have been evident. But, remember togive plenty of time and freedom for the person to find the way that leads to growth. COMMUNITY ACCOMPANIMENT OF MEMBERS, APPENDIX F F - 2 JUNE 2008 APPENDIX F SKILLS USED IN ACCOMPANIMENT Listening, clarifying, challenging, affirming and summarizing are the principal skills used in an accompaniment session. Much has been written elsewhere about these skills and accompaniers have a responsibility to become competent in their use. The following descriptions illustrate how these skills can be used specifically in community accompaniment. They are adapted from "Community Accompaniment in L'Arche - Reflections and Guidelines", (January 1994). 1. Listening The main component of accompaniment is listening. In order to be able to listen well, you will want to have plenty of inner space, free from your busyness and from your own unresolved conflicts and turmoil, in order to listen. It means you are committed to work with your own feelings of frustration, resentment, anger and fear so that your difficulties don't get mixed up with those of the one you are accompanying. Your commitment to personal accompaniment for yourself has implications for your accompaniment relationship. You want to listen first to the one you accompany before focusing on problems. What is she/he feeling? What is happening? How is she/he coping? You are listening, not with a view to 'solving' problems, but rather to validate the experience of the one you accompany, to help that person find meaning and choose creative ways of dealing with difficulties. You listen with your entire being - ears, body, eyes, spirit. The time together has a sacredness, and is the most important thing on your agenda at that moment. The quality of listening is linked to the quality of caring and conviction that the person you accompany is a valued person, deserving of your time and energy: a gift to the community. 2. Clarifying and Questioning To help bring a focus to accompaniment meetings, you will want to ask the person you are accompanying questions in the following three areas: COMMUNITY ACCOMPANIMENT OF MEMBERS, APPENDIX E E - 1 JUNE 2008 APPENDIX E REFLECTION QUESTIONS TO PREPARE FOR THE ACCOMPANIMENT MEETING Before you meet with your accompanier, it is helpful to reflect on your life in community. The following can be used as a guide to help you prepare. 1. How are your relationships with the people with a disability? What do you struggle with? What is life giving? What are you learning about people with a disability, about L'Arche, about yourself? What are the areas of tension or stress? 2. How are your relationships with other assistants on your team? How is the communication? Where are the tensions? Do you feel supported by the other team members? How do you give support? 3. How are your relationships in the larger community? Are you getting to know people? What is difficult, what is working well? What do you need? 4. How are you in relationships where you are accountable to someone else (the head of house, coordinator, director)? 5. How do you see the accompaniment relationship? Is it helpful? How could it be better? 6. How are you taking responsibility for your needs in the following areas: physical, spiritual, intellectual, emotional? 7. How is the rhythm of your day and week? How do you spend free time and days away so as to come back feeling well? What do you need to plan in your week? Are you choosing things that add life and variety to your week and that nourish your original desire in coming to L'Arche? 8. How do you feel at the deeper level of your being? Are you alive, hopeful, growing, beginning to find your place? Where are you feeling frustrated, blocked, not appreciated? What do you want to do with regard to these areas? 9. What you are learning about the vision and mission of L'Arche. How are you living the vision and mission? Where and how are you being called to grow? Try to be specific. Ask questions and ask for help where you are uncertain or where you need support or guidance. COMMUNITY ACCOMPANIMENT OF MEMBERS, APPENDIX D D - 2 JUNE 2008 APPENDIX D OTHER TYPES OF ACCOMPANIMENT I. FUNCTIONAL ACCOMPANIMENT This type of accompaniment is in relationship to the member's role in the community. It is to provide support for one's responsibilities in the community. Assistants are functionally accompanied by their House Responsible, House Responsibles by the Residential Coordinator, the Coordinators by the Community Leader, and the Community Leader by the Regional Coordinator. II. SPIRITUAL ACCOMPANIMENT A spiritual director is someone who helps the member discover the mystery of God in his/her life and to deepen this relationship. Spiritual accompaniment may be received from a priest, pastor, religious, or spiritual guide. III. PROFESSIONAL ACCOMPANIMENT Not all members in L'Arche receive professional accompaniment. It is not uncommon, however, in one's journey in L'Arche to discover unresolved issues from one's past or to want to explore more fully one's emotional well-being. A member may choose or be advised to develop a relationship with a psychiatrist, psychologist, therapist or 12 step group to look at these issues. Adapted from the L'Arche Shiloah Handbook COMMUNITY ACCOMPANIMENT OF MEMBERS, APPENDIX D D - 3 JUNE 2008APPENDIX C: KEY ELEMENTS OF A L’ARCHE COMMUNITY See L’Arche Canada archives, http://larchecommons.ca/ . COMMUNITY ACCOMPANIMENT OF MEMBERS, APPENDIX D D - 2 JUNE 2008APPENDIX B: IDENTITY AND MISSION STATEMENT OF L'ARCHE INTERNATIONAL See L’Arche International website, http://www.larche.org/ , Documentation and photos. COMMUNITY ACCOMPANIMENT OF MEMBERS, APPENDIX D D - 1 JUNE 2008APPENDIX A: CHARTER OF THE COMMUNITIES OF L'ARCHE See L’Arche International website, http://www.larche.org/ , Documentation and photos. approved in Mobile – March 2007 103. Fundamental Document - International Identity Statementsharing life in communities belonginonal Federation. Mutual relationships and trust in God are at the heart of our journey together. We celebrate the unique value of every person and recognise our need of one another. Our mission is to… revealed through mutually transforming relationships.Foster an environment in communitneeds of our members, whilst being fafounding story. Engage in our diverse cultures, working together toward a more human society. We invite you to substitute the terms with those that are accepted in your country. approved in Mobile – March 2007 103. Fundamental Document - International IDENTITY AND MISSION This document is a Fundamental Document - International - 103. This text has been approved by the International Council of L’Arche in March 2007.