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Getting Unburied from Treasures Getting Unburied from Treasures

Getting Unburied from Treasures - PDF document

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Getting Unburied from Treasures - PPT Presentation

S ponsored by the Cape Cod Hoarding Task Force and The Barnstable County Department of Health and Environment April 17th 2013 DomeROere bePReen x201Cbeforex201D Mnd x201CMfPerLx201D We ID: 202634

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Getting Unburied from Treasures S ponsored by the Cape Cod Hoarding Task Force and The Barnstable County Department of Health and Environment April 17th , 2013 DomeROere bePReen “before” Mnd “MfPerL” We find motivation for change. Giving hope, fighting stigma: A panel of people dedicated to living a life less cluttered present their side of the stor y ... .I t’s really not about the stuff . By Lee Shuer Director of Mutual Support at ServiceNet, Inc., collector, Buried in Treasures Workshop Facilitator, and Unburied from Treasures Workshop co - facilitator Popular television shows give the impression that “:oarders” have all that junk because they are greedy, lazy, incompetent, and out of touch with reality. The five of us who you will get to know today are h ere to show you that we are not these things a t all. Our panel of collectors is creative, intelligent, and resourceful. We are Finders and Keepers who have been stuck; hung - up on something emotional, unseen beneath the surface of life. What can be seen is only the tip of the stuff - berg͘ =t’s complicated͘ Our difficulty de - cluttering isn’t really about the stuff͖ it’s about what our possessions represent͘ Our collections are disorganized piles of memories tied - up in overstock and stacked to the ceiling in plastic bins. We all save our stuff for different reasons, but we don’t necessarily have time to figure those reasons out. Many of us are under pressure, by law or love, to clean - up͘ We’ve come to realize that it doesn’t matter whether you collect l ead or gold — too much of anything is a problem. The reason that graduates of the Buried in Treasures Workshop and members of the Unburied from Treasures group are here to speak to you today is not because I told them that there would be a good lunch! Toda y’s event is the answer to the questions = heard repeatedly during our self - help groups; “:ow can we fight stigma? :ow can we share what we’ve learned? :ow can we give hope?” Stigma: We’re not “As seen on TV” As mentioned above, people with this cha llenge have been given a lot of bad press in the last few years. The plight of those facing eviction, divorce, and bankruptcy are the first people asked to appear on shows like, “:oarders͘” Some people really are in this situation, but they don’t have to be exploited for the state of their affairs. The sensational nature of primetime television and is what makes it so popular. People are rarely helped by the practices depicted on these shows. Unfortunately, what does work is a long and tenuous process , and not very good for TV. Re - traumatizing people is way more riveting to most audiences. =n order to give a different impression of what we’re like, our Unburied from Treasures Group felt it would be helpful to list the positive qualities that we share among us: We are people who want to be prepared, saving boxes for mailing/storing/moving. We are collectors with a good eye for things we love and value. We are incredibly resourceful, finding good clothes and food for little to no money. We are generous and often collect things in case somebody else might need them sometime. We are perfectionists who might avoid the anxiety of taking action rather than risk throwing - out the wrong thing. We are not wasteful. We are creative, artistic, industrious, and inventive. We see art supplies everywhere! (You gonna throw away that bottle cap? = have an idea͙) We are proficient at self - soothing by acquiring and/or keeping certain things that give a momentary lift. We a re environmentally aware, finding new uses for old things, rather than sending them to the landfill. Whether or not you have a collecting problem, you probably share some of these qualities. The difference between someone who builds a problematic amount o f clutter and those who don’t, is that they don’t necessarily act on these good intentions͘ One thing that we’ve learned from our studies is that we are what we do, rather than what we have ͘ That’s why we encourage each other to actually use the art supp lies we have before collecting more. Another example is encouraging someone to give the wrapped birthday gift that was never given, because it might not have been “just right͘” The people that we see on TV no doubt have many of these same qualities; they simply went further into the cycle of collecting than most people. We are making it our mission to break the cycle of acquiring and saving things that we don’t need͘ We are changing our priorities͘ We are also changing the language that we use to describ e ourselves and each other. The newly - minted clinical term, “:oarding Uisorder,” now found in the USM - V, is difficult for some people to accept, or even to hear. Synonyms for “:oarder” found on - line are: saver, miser, collector, squirrel. Squirrel? Man y of us have chosen to use the term “collector,” instead͘ = use Finders and Keepers on occasion͘ Nut the thing with language is this: what’s politically correct today will no doubt be incorrect tomorrow. That’s why = believe that until relationships transcend language, we will never truly understand each other͘ That’s why we want you to get to know us today͘ You may leave with a whole new vocabulary to describe this challenge and the people who live with it. Education: A tool that we’ve found helpful When acquiring or discarding, there are many skills to be learned in our self - help groups.* One of these tools is the practice of asking ourselves questions about what we’re about to do͘ Some of us carr y a card with these questions on it, or post it on our refrigerator. Here are some examples of questions we use to make good decisions: Do I already have one? Do I have a specific plan to use this? Do I have room for it? Is it something that I need, or ju st want? Will this item make my life better? And a real challenger͙͘Will keeping/acquiring this item help me overcome my clutter problem? The next time you reach for a magazine at a check - out counter, or find yourself buying a pair of scissors because you can’t find yours, ask yourself these questions͘ =t’s also important to recognize that we all need stuff͘ This process allows us to reduce our overall volume by keeping the most special, useful, and practical items. :ope: Somewhere between “before” and “after,” we find motivation for change Even those of us presenting today have had days when we felt hopeless, like we’d never live without clutter. Many of you have probably encountered situations where you felt there was no hope for the person that you’r e trying to assist in this process. The support that we’ve found in our groups has kept us going͘ We have learned to keep our eyes on the prize, envisioning a future that better suits the life we want to live. We are finding that by letting go of things from the past, we have more room and time to create new memories. Instead of looking at pictures of places we went, we grab our cameras and head out for new scenery. Instead of stuff, we collect experiences. For many of us, this process is anxiety - produc ing, frustrating, and exhausting. So why do it? Because we want to live a life less cluttered! Because we believe that it’s worth it, and because we’re strong! We want the community to know that people do change their habits, and that with hard work, e ducation, and mutual support, we can overcome this challenge͘ So don’t give up on those people who have nearly given - up on themselves! And if this is something that you’re dealing with personally͘͘͘please, don’t give up on yourself͘ Thank you so much for coming here to witness our stories today, to network and meet people who you might collaborate with professionally, and to understand this challenge from the inside - out. *The book that we use as the guide for our Buried in Treasures Workshop is , Buried in Treasures: Help for Compulsive Acquiring, Saving, and Hoarding ( Tolin, Frost, Steketee, Oxford University Press, 2007.) A free facilitator’s guide for this group written by Lee Shuer and Ur͘ Randy Frost can be found online at: www.ocfoundation.org The website will be changing a bit , now that Hoarding Uisorder is no longer under the umbrella of OCU͘ Until then, please click on the “About OCU” tab, scroll down to “:oarding Center,” then click the “:elp For :oarding” tab, and scroll down to Self Help and Support Groups. You will find a link to the latest version of the guide in this section. Happy reading, and hopeful living! And now, without further ado, meet our panel! Jessica Jessica Star is an artist who uses many mediums to make her work. Her main love is photography and she is currently embarking on a lifelong dream of becoming a professional photographer. She shares a studio in downtown Greenfield where the main focus is on photography, but there is space to work on other projects as well. Star was raised making crafts and selling work at fairs. She holds a Bachelor of Fine Arts from the San Francisco Art Institute. One of the main reasons she has sought help for her collecting is that she uses many media and makes many of her crafts from up - cycled supplies. For example, she makes scarves, hats and handbags from felted sweaters. Star also has a line of jewelry that she makes from vintage beads, taking apart old neck laces and creating a contemporary look with what had been discarded by others. So, given the art & craft part of her life alone, she tends toward collecting as she sees the possibility for creativity in so many objects. The other main issue she faces i s disorganization. It’s funny actually, as she has always done administrative work and can create order in spaces that aren’t hers! She only found out that she was dealing with the “gifts” of ADD in the past year. So, she can multi - task like a mad woman (which the office loves) but has a hard time finishing projects that she’s started. Star has been aware of her overwhelming attachment to objects for many years. She has been “researching” the root causes in her personal life, finding some interesting reasons for the deep need to hold on to stuff. Having just realized she collects objects that she loves and that bring her joy as a way to reflect back to herself who she is. That may not make sense at a glance, but having realized this, she is working hard and letting go of “things” with a grace that she has never known before. Her home is becoming a place she loves and a place she seeks nurturance from, where in her past she always looked for it outside of her own space. Creating a home and studio that are well organized, loving, fun and sacred are at the top of her list. By making the to do’s on the list small and doable, she is getting closer by the day to letting go of the project of a lifetime, digging out from chaos, and finding herself. Carol I have been a member of Unburied from Treasure’s group for over a year now. When I joined the group I was looking for support and ideas on how to deal with my abundant collections of treasures which I had acquired over my lifetime. I never thought that my collections of stuff were an issue until I had to move. I had lived in my last place for over 27 years; my place was like a Townhouse. There was a basement, a main floor, and a second floor with an attic space that ran the length of the second f loor. I realized even before I moved that I had way too much stuff. I found it incredibly hard to let go of things. I thought my collections were what made me who I was and if I threw them away I would be throwing myself away. I did throw things away -- so me I wished I hadn’t, but my new residence was so much smaller; I had no choice. At the time I was employed as children’s Librarian at an elementary school in Turner Falls. I was overwhelmed and found it very hard to work on creating a home in my new apar tment that couldn’t hold all of my things. This began a downward spiral of depression. There was a series of events; the move, family issues, and then a car accident that caused the loss of my job. I was at such a low place in my life that I wanted to end it. As I struggled to examine my life and look at where I had come to, I realized the possibility that changes could really make a difference in my life. That decision was made just about two years ago; I figured that I wouldn’t know if my life could be different if I didn’t do things to make it different. I figured that I owed it to myself to find out. So I quit smoking pot and cigarettes, I’ve done everything the doctor’s wanted me to do for the constant migraines, I’ve been to PHP five times, I got a ctive in the Recover Project and the Recovery Learning Community, plus attended a lot of therapy and groups. Being in the Unburied from Treasures group gives me a new understanding about my collections. I have learned to look at them differently. It’s been a long haul for me but slowly I have managed to make much needed progress. I had stopped doing even basic things for myself, so to be able to say I did my dishes or washed my clothes and put them away were the baby steps I took at first. Very recen tly I had begun working on sorting a book collection one box at a time. I then found out that I had to have surgery and needed to push myself a bit more in order to be able to get around my apartment on crutches. This push would not have been possible if I had not had the support of the Treasures group members. They have drawn - out hope and strength that I did not know I had in me. I came to see that I could do what was needed to be done. Moving forward is the goal and I am on my way. Lil Lil once lived what she refer s to as a , “N or mal life.” In the middle 1980’s, she began to be aware that she was no longer doing the things she had been accustomed to doing. She was not putting things away. She was accumulating more than she needed. Lil was keeping thin gs where she could see the m. By the middle of the 1990’s, she realized that she had a problem. Looking back, she’s tried to figure - out how her life had changed. She realized that her clients (she was a therapist in Los Angeles, CA) started dying from AIDS , and she could not save them. The sense of loss was horrendous. She also believes the re may be a genetic tendency. Her dad , who died at 97 , had the same problem in his later years. Lil attended a workshop in Long Beach, California for pack rats. There was a reporter for the London Times who asked for a volunteer whose home he coul d film for the publication. No one else volunteered, therefore, she did. When the reporter arrived , he felt my home was not bad enough. I am sure if he came today he would be able to use my home. Lil remains committed to working on reducing the number of possessions in her home, and rarely misses an Unburied from Treasures meeting. She is a valued and inspirin g member of the group. Karen Karen Lowe is a Certified Peer Specialist, a singer/songwriter, and a visual artist. She has had a problem with letting go of things , and acquiring even more things , for most of her life. She has had difficulty with keepi ng her ho me clean as a result. About two and a half years ago, Karen decided to ask for help by attending a Clutterers Anonymous meeting in Springfield. It was a great experience to be supported by other people who had the same challenges as she did. She started a C lutterers Anonymous meeting in Greenfield that folded soon after it started due to lack of attendance. Soon after that, Karen heard that her supervisor at ServiceN et, Lee Shuer, was going to be facilitating a group using Buried in Treasures , a ground - breaking book for hoarders and their allies. Karen took the assessment pre - test and got into the group that was held in Greenfield. During participation in this grou p, Karen had a breakthrough; she decided that she wanted to make room in her li fe and her home for herself and other peopl e. Since attending the Buried i n Treasures group, Karen has continued to make steady progress with cleaning and organizing her apartment. Now, she feels comfortable in her own home. Now Karen is honored to co - facilitate the Unburied from Treasures support group, which is comprised of mostly Buried in Treasures graduates, in Greenfield. She continues to learn from the group members how to improve her life. Lee Lee Shuer has been certified as a Peer Specialist in AZ and MA, and is a certified WRAP facilitator. He is the author of The Mutual Support Workbook , a training guide for mental health workers. He partnered with Dr. Randy Frost to create The Facilitator’ s Manual for the Buried in Treasures Workshop , which has been used to start self - help groups for clutterers from California to Australia. In 2010 he received citations from The Massachusetts State Senate and House of Representatives for his successful dev elopment of meaningful employment opportunities for people living with mental health challenges. Since 2000, Mr. Shuer, who has learned to live successfully with his own mental health challenges, has worked to bridge the gap between clinical and peer suppo rts, while harnessing the best practices of both. He has shared this vision with ABCnews.com, NBCnews.com, The San Francisco Chronicle, Scientific American , Canadian Public Radio, The Seoul Broadcasting Station, and at numerous conferences and trainings a cross the country. His vision is of a mental health system where staff members are encouraged to draw from their own unique life experiences to inform the work they do, and where a spirit of humanity and humility pave the way to independence for those who thought they would never be freed from stigma and statistics. With his violin in hand and his wife Rebecca and family at his side, he moves closer each day to making his dream of equality a reality.