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Intermarried families now constitute a signifi cant an Intermarried families now constitute a signifi cant an

Intermarried families now constitute a signifi cant an - PDF document

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Uploaded On 2015-05-21

Intermarried families now constitute a signifi cant an - PPT Presentation

In many congregations more than half of the fami lies are intermarried While the presence of these families strengthens congregational community life in a variety of ways they also pose unique chal lenges and concerns Certainly we want to thoughtful ID: 71463

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TTHHEERREE AARREE NNOO ““CCOONNVVEERRTTSS”” IINN JJUUDDAAIISSMM DD.. && MM Although a number of unde 2 obviously believed to be a Jew by choice, “This shikseh[nonJewish woman] knows everthing!” On several occasions we have seen idividuals whom we knew to have been born Jewish repeately ask pointed background questions of somonewhere the person grew up, the family’s congregtional affilition, when the person became bar or bat mitzvah, and so onand then reveal a barely disguised satisfaction when the person they were interrogating was “outed” as not born Jeish. We observed one such episode during a job iterview panel conducted by a senior rabbi and cogregation presdent. The rabbi repeatedly asked indirect questions seemingly designed to dtermine if the job applicant had coverted to Judaism, and then, frustrated by the individual’s unwillinness to take the bait, finally blurted out, “Were you bornJeish?”At a Yom Kippur service we saw a member of a congregation who was born Jewish, approach aother person and ask, “Are you Jewish?” When the person answered, “Yes,” the questioner seemed prised and then, after hesitating a moment, said, “NoI mean, were you bornJewish?”And we recently learned of what seems to be a common experience for Jews who have converted to Judaism: a woman who, 25 years after her aceptance as a Jew by a bet dinbinic court)now a Hebrew teacher, Torah reader, etc.was ferred to as a “Jew by choice” when called by her rabbi to read Torah on Yom Kippur. Her reation: “When will I ever be just a Jew?”What does the Torah teach us about how we are to treat Jews who have converted to Jdaism?In one ofthe many mitzvot(commandments) on the subject, we read: “A stranger you shall not taunt or opress, for you were strangers in the land of Egypt.” (Exdus 22:20)Our commentators note that “stranger” refers here to one who has converted to Judism, but also includes anyone who may feel uncomforable in an unfamiliar environment. The root of the word that we translate as “taunt,” tohneh), is which means to take illegally something material or spirtualan example of the latter being to vex someone with words in a social situation, which connotes taking advantage of weakness and is closely related to the root , to cause pain. The root of the word translated as “oppress,” tilkhazehnu), is , which means to rstrict, squeeze, or crush, and is closely related to the roots and , to whisper and ridicule, respectivly.In the previous verse, Exodus 22:19, we read: “Whoever sacrifices to any god, ecept to God alone, shall be separated from life.” The idea is that nativeborJew loses his or her Jewish citizeship when he or she departs from the Torah’s standard of montheism. But in contrast, in Exodus 22:20, someone who converts to Judaism, regarless of background, has the same legal rights of citizeship in the Jewish people as any other Jew. In the words of Rabbi Samson Rafael Hirsch (18081888), the lesson is that, “. . . It is not race, not birth or country or proerty, altogether nothing external or due to chance, but simply and purely the inner spiritual and moral worth of the hman being that gives him [or her] all the rights of [hu]man[kind] and of a [Jeish] citizen.”Maimonides (Rabbi Moses ben Maimon, 11351204, known as Rambam) taught that, “Loving a convert . . . [fufills] two positive commandments: one because he [or she] is included among the ‘neighbors’ [whom we are commanded to love] and one bcause he [or she] is a convert and the Torah (Deteronomy 10:19) states: ‘and you shall love the converts’.” (Hichot De’ot 6:4) After Moses told his fatherlaw, Yitro, about the miracles God had performedthe exodus from Egypt, parting the sea, and manna from heavenYitro decided to become a Jew. But he felt a “pang at heart” when Moses told him that the Egyptians had perished at the sea. So the tradition teaches that, “no one should scoff at a heathen before [i.e., in the presence of] a proselyte who is not a Jew of ten generations standing.” (Mekhilta Yitro 1, 58b59a) In short, we are to be etremely careful of the pain we may cause another Jew by remining him or her of the past. The Midrash also teaches that, “. . . even an idolater who becomes a proselyte and studies the Torah is like a high priest.” (Numbers Rabbah13:15) And the Midrash asks, “Who would have expected Ruth, a proselyte, to attain to the soveeignty over Israel [through David, her descenant]?” (Genesis Rabbah 88:7) It was Ruth’s spirital and moral character that influenced Israel’s fture, not her past as a Moabite. What is the halakhicstatus of those who covert to Judaism and what are our halakhicobligtions to them? One who is not born Jewish “receives full and complete equality” as soon as he or she concludes the conversion process. (Hirsch comment on Exdus 12:48) Moreover, we are directed to ensure equaity of all before the law and to show kindness and consideration to those who are vulnerable. (Hirsch on Deuteroomy 10:19) In effect, we are 3 taught to place the highest value on what a person is worth simply as a peson. The Sefer haHinnuch, the 13century Book of mitzvah] Education, teaches: “. . . we were comanded to bear affection for coverts, not to make them suffer about anything whaever. . . .” It goes on to say that, “Among the laws of the prcept, there is what the Sages of blessed memory taught [Bava Metzia 58b]: that a man should not in any way tell a proselyte, ‘Remember your original ativities’.” (Deuteroomy 10:19)Moreover, we read in Deuteronomy (33:4), at the conclusion of the Torah, as Moses is blessing the people before he dies, that, “The Torah that Moses commanded us is the heritage of the cogregation of Jacob.” That is, it is the morasha(complete possession) of the entire people, cluding not only those who were born to Jewish ents, but every soul that joins the Jewish people by pleding loyalty to the Torah.Incidentally, the Sefer haHinnuchreminds us that Tanakh (Hebrew Bible) includes literally doens of cations, estimates range from 24 to46, against oppressing with words one who has coverted to Jdaism.The dean of our biblical commentators, Rashi (Rabbi Shlomo ben Yitzchak, 1040, coments on Exodus 22:20 to warn that,“If you taunt him [the proselyte], he can also taunt you and sato you, ‘You too emanate from strangers.’ Do not proach your neighbor with a fault that is also yours.”Rabbeinu Bachya (Rabbi Bachya ben Asher, 1340) teaches us that tohnehwhich, as we have already noted, is translated as “tauntrefers to “disadvantaging” aother person with words. It prompts us to ask, should one feel disadvataged if singled out as a “convert,” instead of simly being accepted as another Jew? Can you imaine ways in which one is disadvataged if “outed” as not born Jewish? Imagine that you were not born Jewish, if in fact that’s not the case, and every time someone introduces you they mention that you’re a “covert.” How would you feelpossibly more vulneable than if simply introduced as a man(i.e., a fellow Jew, from one’s town or coutry)?It may help to understand such feelings of vunerability by considering some asumptions made by people who are born Jewish about those who have converted to Judaismall of which are cotradicted by well known studies:That those who have converted to Judaism are not as well edcated as the average Jew;That those who have converted are not as comitted to Judaism and congregational life as the aveage Jew; andThat those who have converted are less comptent to establish a Jewish home and family life than the aerage Jew.In what way is someone who has converted more vulnerable or disadvantaged, not only in feeing but also in fact, than one who was born Jeish?A person who converted to Judaism typically doesn’t have a wide circle of Jewish reltives and friends. So if we mistreat the Jew by choice with verbal abuse, intimidation, onupmanship, subtle putdowns, religious caste discrimination, or ouright social exclusion, he or she is much more lily to be isolated and without allies and defeners, unable to respond without confirming the very seondclass status implicitly iposed. What options does a Jewchoice have if someone who was born Jewish wants to “out” him or her?Refuse to answer pointed questions about pesonal history, appearing to be secretive about one’s status as a Jew, thus confirming suspcions that one is a “covert.”Respond to pointed personal history questions and allow oneself to be outed, and thus be openly singled out as other than “just Jeish.”Reprove one’s interrogator to convey that ouing people who have converted is forbidden, without acknowledging or denying that one has converted, and thus risk alienating that person and confirming his or her suspcions.But none of these options are satisfactory, bcause they all have the effect of confirming one as a “convert”not fullyJewish in some sense. The situation illuminates why in general we don’t hear Jewschoice talking about this prolem and their painful experiences related to it, because to do so would only single them out as different and somehow less Jewish.What are some of the more egregious but less ovious consquences of verbally oppressing those who have coverted to Judaism?We discourage and alienate others who might be considering conversion to Judism. We run the risk of driving them and their families away from Jewish life altogether. We dsensitize ourselves to the oppression of others who are vunerable and who trust and depend on us. We icrementally lose selfcontrol and condition ourselves to accept and perpetuate the oppression of others who are vulneable. We inadvertently model oppressive behaior 4 into which we unwittingly socialize our chidren. And we run the risk ofchilul Hashem, desecrating the name of Am Yisrael, and thus potentially caus-ing pain and loss to the whole Jewish people.Obviously, the solution is not with those who have converted but with those of us who were born Jewish. It is our responsibility to recognize the structive effects of singling out Jewschoice and to do what we can to stop the practice.Why should we be empathetic toward and suportive of Jews who have converted to Jdaism, reproving those who make a practice of outing them?First, because, as the Torah says, wethe Jeish peoplewere strangers in Egypt, and we suffered accoringly;Second, because the history of the Jewish Dias-porathe worldwide dispesion of the Jewsis mostly a story of our suffering as straners; andThird, because even today we are singled out and suffer, defined as the aliens in the global community and targeted because we are Jews.The concluding phrase of Exodus 22:20, that we were “strangers in the land of Egypt,” accoring to Rabbi Hirsch, reminds us thatour national fortune in Egypt derived from our vulnerability, that we were without rights, and it should make us mindful of the consquences for us and those who oppressed ushighlighting particularly our own potential as oppressors if we limit the rights of oters. The subtext of Exodus 22:20 is that the Torah aims to inculcate spiritual, moral and intellectual ues for measuring the worth of another human being. The current popularity of placing excessive value on position, prestige, possessions, power, and even physique, ultmately is a source of inequality and inhumanity. In the final analysis, when one accepts the Torah and, in turn, is accepted as a Jew by a bet dincomplete equality is achieved with those who came out of Egypt and stood at Mount Sinaiaccording to the halakhah, the path set out for us by our tradtion. We are directed not to call attention to Jews who have chosen to live by the Torah of Irael. We are directed not to separate and single out those who have chosen to be Jewish from those who were born Jewish. And we are directed not to rmind Jewschoice of a prior life, lifting up their pain or shame, or to withold any honor, privilege, or kindness because of their past. In effect, there are no “converts” in Jdaismonly Jews. And the sooner each of us acts to build up the culture of our congregation to reflect this undestanding, the sooner we will have removed a significant obstacle to conversion tdaism by our nonJewish members. Click here for more congregational development and organizing tools. Help support the work of Gather the People with a taxdeductible donation by clicking here ! 0072018Moshe ben Asher & Khulda bat Sarah