Issue 589, 21 Nov 2003THE - PDF document

Issue 589, 21 Nov 2003THE INDEPENDENTCAMBRIDGE STUDENT NEWSPAPER Money,money,money Varsity University is planning toannounce a new system of bur-saries that could transformaccess to Cambridge and give thepoorest students £4,000 a year.However,CUSU President BenBrinded fears the scheme may beused as a Òheadline-grabbinggimmickÓto justify top-up fees. The proposals will quadruple theleast well-off. Those whose parentsfrom the Government. They will alsobe repayed after graduation, bringingcosts are estimated at £5,800.However, it is notable that thetheir proposals to coincide with theannounce legislation to introduce top-up fees. Apparently, although mem- Brian Little INTERVIEW Michael Moore:the only interview hegave in CambridgePAGE 12 ÒI introduced Mr Fluffy to the entire floor팀Tim Stanley on why booze is better than drugs PAGE 06 .varsity.co.uk The regionÕs best guide to whatÕs on Ð see next ThursdayÕs Cambridge Evening News NEW CROSSWORD Pit your wits against VarsityÕs newcryptic puzzlerLISTINGS BACK PAGE townPAGE 14 om Walters 퉉ts exact location remains a mystery팀Rebecca Heselton on Loch Torridon PAGE 11 ꕐoorest students will get £9,000 to live on¥Bursaries could become top-up smokescreenꕂen Brinded denounces scheme as 툀gimmick팀 er themselves open-minded andliberal,but a survey has revealedthat two-thirds of LBGT studentshave encountered homophobia.from straight students. Although over half of LBGT re-similar number of non-LBGT re-were able to say that they had neverencountered any homophobic abuse.According to Campaigns Officer,Tom Clarke, the purpose of the sur-to foster a greater awareness amongsting well for the LBGT community,event of the term, organised jointlywith UWE, drew a crowd of only 50. to wider issues, and it was here thatthe greatest disparity between gayand non-gay responses was evident.Nearly four-fifths of LBGT studentslowed to adopt, whereas this viewveyed have some form of religious be-themselves religious, three-quartersdo not perceive any conflict betweentheir beliefs and their sexuality. Full results from the survey willAdditional reporting by Katie The Ents Officer of the CambridgeUnion resigned this week and wasforced to pull out of a presidentialmisconduct.A vote of no confidencewas passed by eight votes to one bythe UnionÕs standing committee inAlan Mak after he was accused offiling a false invoice.Mak strong-ly denies the claim saying it was anÒinnocent mistakeÓand believes itwas used as an excuse to stop himMak has presided over a success-said, Ò I donÕt think you forge an in-voice by mistake, there is no placefor corruption in the Union.Ó Hethe end of the matter, ÒWe are goingthere are still issues to be resolved.ÓMak had been a presidential candidatein the elections held on Wednesdaybut his bid was declared ineligible.his presidential rivalÕs slate, Òit was aGallagher himself was embroiled inrunning for chairman of CUCA, thewas correct procedure as he wasÒrushedÓ and that Òbecause there wasleading presidential candidateÉ itwas the excuse to get me out É Willcredit him as a candidate, he claimedwhere near the ballot boxÓ, Òtheyall an attempt to ensure Mak didnÕtwin were ridiculous and that it Ògoesas president. If when we try to actagainst corruption we are ourselvesaccused of being corrupt, can theThere have also been claims thatthe UnionÕs returning officers have act-ed unconstitutionally, failing to an-termÕs election and circulate mani-festos. If true this is in breach of a con-guard against corruption.The director of the speed-datingector of the speed-datingof good and honest character and Ido not feel that there was any wilfulattempt on AlanÕs part to mislead ornished foreverÓ, claiming he wouldÒgo to the proctors, or whoever itwww.varsity.co.uk So you think youÕre tolerant? Visit our newly redesigned website atwww.varsity.co.uk Benjamin Bland Union scandal: Mak the knifedAlex Mair LBGT survey shows Cambridge is more tolerant than you might think Got a story? Where Now Nov 21,2003News Features pg7Internet addiction and eBayComment Travel pg11Scotland special- reindeer andEditorial pg8George W. Bush and howListings Interview pg12with BushÕs nemisis MchaelThe Ordinary pg13Protests against inhumane stu-Arts Fashion Fashion pg14We love modsMusic Visual Arts pg17The new enfant terrible ofLiterature pg19What Cambridge is readingTheatre pg20Freshers play, Perrier nomi- Grace Ofori-Attah Jonathan Wood ORS:BENJAMIN BLAND,JONATHAN WOOD,LAURA-JANE FOLEY TOP 5 UNION SCANDALS .varsity.co.uk Nov 21,2003 EDITORS:BENJAMIN BLAND,JONATHAN WOOD AND LAURA-JANE FOLEY Switched On The geese are getting fat and lords are almost ready to begin leaping. The big day isjust over a month away.Last Sunday CambridgeÕs Christmas lights were switched onby the Tin Man from the Corn ExchangeÕs pantomime. The lights also marked the beginning of CambridgeÕs first Food and Drink Festival,a series of gourmet food sampling, wine tasting, talks and presentations. See www.graf- for details. Tom Cahill Fitz ÔPorta-Porters픀 week at the Òcrime epidemicÓsweeping the college the Dean,Barry Landy,suggested card-board cut-out porters should bedrafted in to deal with the grow-ing problem. Students are unhappy at the lackaccess to the College, the Porter핳Lodge through which visitors pre-viously had to walk has been re-lo-Barry Landy controversiallycould be allayed by having a Òcard-board porterÓ sitting behind an un-manned porterÕs desk.by a Senior College Officer whoa cardboard cut out. Although thisextremely frustrated by the factthey feel that sombody present isThe security problems arose thisterm when the PorterÕs Lodge wasmoved to StoreyÕs Way close to aover the summer.It was decided that the Porter핳President Ed Shattock explained,Òthere is no security at the frontup Castle Hill and there are noPorters thereÓ.Since the removal of the Portersfrom the front of college there hasbeen an increased incidence of tres-passers in college premises whichdeterant at the front of the college.ÒOn ten different occasions peo-ple had to be removed from the col- Varsity On top of this there has been anincrease in theft at the college.been stolen from the supposedlysecure bike-park in front of the un-manned PorterÕs Lodge and a lap-from studentsÕ rooms.and been staffed, there is a largethefts were not that unusual, tellingthere has been noticeably moreterm, presumably becausestrangers are less easily recog- Varsity Road entrance being restricted tothose with swipe cards, there wasmakes us more vulnerable tomeaning both PorterÕs Lodgeswould be staffed.would substantially increase thesecurity of the college, and createa safer environment for Fitz stu-The Bursar has since agreed to aPorter being on duty from 4pm toThese are the times when we need Laura-Jane Foley ÔDon AirÕ is the future of Oxbridge travel Academics frustrated by theOxford-Cambridge journey timemay soon be flying ÔDon-Air픮Anew charter jet route is beingsupported by academics as theonly viable means of avoidingthe infamously slow road jour-ney from Cambridge to Oxford.The new route Ð dubbed ÔDon-Air픀Ð would shred the journeytimes from the current 3 hoursto around 20 minutes. tered jets containing between 4 and8 seats. Tourists and members of thecities are finding their research pro-grammes inhibited by the currentOxford dons have been pressingmanagers of OxfordÕs airport toed, ÒI am sure that [the service]would prove popularÉ It would beused by both university staff andTravel between the cities hasbeen difficult since the famousVarsity train line was scrapped intravel for dons flitting to and fro be-Train journeyÕs were notoriousfor their intellectually-charged at-mosphere; many a former studenthas recalled listening to eminentscholars argue with each other en-route to conferences or debates. However despite calls from aca-demics and others to reinstate theline a WAGN spokesman told Varsity that Òno plans were underfootÓ toaddress the issue, or indeed to Òbuild[any] new lines travelling West ofCambridgeÓ. Travellers are forcedfrustratingly take to the roads.StagecoachÕs non-direct X5 routetakes 3 hours, and departs hourly. Itgoes through, among others, MiltonKeynes, Bedford, and Buckingham.Tickets are relatively cheap, with re-turn fares costing £9.90. Students canAStagecoach spokesmanclaimed that their cheap fare wasalong its routeÓ. The service is generally reliable.However, between Oxford andstretches of BritainÕs busiest road.Journeys are invariably sloweddown by traffic on the M25.same problems. Though the twocities are just 65 miles apart, 118miles of jammed roads need to beThe proposed flights would berun between OxfordÕs airport andairfields in the Cambridge area, in-cluding Duxford. Travellers would pay between Varsity readers have cof- Amol Rajan The Knights of ChristÕ www.varsity.co.uk Nov 21,2003 Vas debates at Union Our ÒSave GardiesÓcampaignwill be taken to the Chamberof the Cambridge Union nextweek when the mainThursday debate will be ÔThisHouse would Save GardiesÕ.Vas Anastasiou,the owner ofGardies,is expected to be thestar speaker.In addition youcan now download Ô 퐀SaveGardiesÕphone wallpaper fromour fellow campaigneryotones.com by clicking on thelink at our website Ðvarsity.co.uk.The tastefuldesigns are available in bothlogo and picture form KingÕs Support At a well-attended JCR OpenMeeting at St.JohnÕs College onwas passed which expressed theJCRÕs support for the KingÕs rentstrike.This motion also man-bursary in advance of the usualrent negotiations and takebursarsÕresponse. Phab Cambridge Handicapped and Able Bodied)club that promotes social inter-action between people withand without disabilities,is visit-ing QueenÕs College,CambridgeNovember.Fifty peoplewho live around Cambridgewith college members and dinein one of CambridgeÕs most his- Competition Winners The winner of the Fresh asSnow ball tickets are KatyAnstis,of Kings;Tania Wood,ofPembroke;Alana Finlayan,ofCaius,Bharvin Vakani of Catsand Rob Paton of Trinity Hall.To collect your prize please e-mail tickets@fresh-as-snow.com In last weeks article (KingÕsdeclared unconstitutional.Inrent strike that were declaredunconstitutional not the motionas a whole.The error occurreddue to incorrect informationbeing supplied to Varsity. IN BRIEF Rowing lake will save Cam Cambridge Rowing Lake,a two-mile long training lake with aninternational-standard competi-teaching facilities,is to be builton CambridgeÕs outskirts.Theunique new rowing lake looks setto improve facilities in Cambridgeand relieve the pressure on thecongested river Cam. The project has been billed as thecountryÕs largest purpose-built sport-most sought-after rowing venuesÕ. Ithas just completed its third phase ofconstruction with one of the UKÕslargest ever archaeological digs, giv-ing the area the all-clear for the mainIt will be linked directly to the2009, giving crews from the 50 exist-ing boat clubs already based on theCam year-round access to top-classtraining facilities. CambridgeshireCounty Council has agreed in princi-ple to the lease around 150 acres ofhugely exciting project that will pro-vide a real boost for local people whowill be able to use both the rowingThe rowing lake, expected to costcessible to anyone, from light recre-ÒCambridge is the busiest rowingcentre in the UK, if not Europe, butthere simply isnÕt enough space onbody,Ó said Michael Garroway, of theCambridge Rowing Trust. ÒThis is amajor step forward, although therewill meet the requirements for in-justments would be required for it tobe raised to Olympic standard.ÓThe Trust, a charity whose aims areto promote the teaching of rowing andty, is the main operator of the project.Plans for the new Lake were firststages last year. severely overcrowded and dangerous,ing severely. Aquick glance at theboards reveals a plethora of tales ofovercrowded waters, accidents andSimilar projects are a common fea-ture in Europe, but such facilities arefar less accessible here in the UK.Cambridge Rowing Trust hopes tocarefully examine the most successfullakes from across the world and bringtheir best features to Cambridge. As the WomenÕs Union celebratesCampaign to save OxbridgeÕswoman only colleges,students atNewnham have called for a refer- In a letter to Varsity Newnham JCR President RebeccaCollins answered calls for a referen-dum, ÒIÕm sure the JCR would be hap-py to offer a referendum on studentopinion on this topicÓ. When presseddents would have to Ògo through theproper channelsÓ and whether it tookfor Cambridge. CUSU is currentlyCollege Oxford an all female college.St. HildaÕs faces the propect of a sec-ond referendum, only seven monthsThe vote in March at OxfordÕs lastremaining all-female college, sawthe motion to admit male undergrad-uates fail to secure the necessary two-thirds majority in the collegeÕs gov-St. HildaÕs was forced to hold thevote in response to a funding crisis pre-versities from funding them.who supported segregation, fearedthe loss of a Òsupportive, tolerant, re-spectful atmosphere with an amaz-At Newnham however, calls for aÒbalanced social atmosphereÓ and abelief in the irrelevance of the found-move. An anonymous Newnhamitewrote; Òthe college was founded topromote female education in a manÕsworldÉ WomenÕs colleges now be-Jo Read, CUSU womenÕs officer, be-lieves strongly in the continued needhave the crucial role of providing anacademic environment tailored to theWhether this argument will swayNewnham opinion remains to be seen Additional reporting by Laura- After at least two suspected in-rape drug Rohypnol on students,a teenager has been raped after The 16-year-old girl toldCambridgeshire Police that afterwas offered a drink by a man sheDetective Sergeant Chris Wilsonwhen they approached the teenag-fore leaving the club at some timeand 12.30am on Saturday.The girl can remember walkingover Victoria Bridge onto MitchamsCorner and before going into whiteterraced house where she says shewhat time it was and does not re-Wilson said. orientated and still has difficultyrecalling the incident in fullÓ.the people who were out on Fridayhead. He was wearing a dark greenjumper and baggy trousers.proached the girl in the nightclubhair and silver coloured glasses.residents. The first occurred at aCaius college ent held during fresh-ers week where two girls experi-the Ôdate rapeÕ drug Rohypnol. Thesecond occurred in Ballare when awere looked after by friends and Brian Little Amol Rajan and Richard Allen Drug-assisted rape in Cambridge Newnham offers referendum on men ORS:BENJAMIN BLAND,JONATHAN WOOD,LAURA-JANE FOLEY AND BRIAN LITTLE Rachel Millar and Chris Adams .varsity.co.uk Nov 21,2003 EDITOR:BENJAMIN BLAND,JONATHAN WOOD,LAURA-JANE FOLEY Cambridge students wereamong the thousands of protes-London on Thursday to voiceGeorge Bush during his contro-versial state visit to Britain. The protestÕs organisers, theStop the War Coalition, estimatedprotestors from across the UK; thepolice put the figure closer tolargest weekday march Londonhad ever seen. The police were outin force to ensure the proceedings5,000 were marshalling the protest.By last night there had been overfifty arrests of protestors. All policeit, one in nine police officers will ap-parently be protecting George Bush The Prime Minister Tony Blair on thesituation in Iraq and AIDS in AfricaQueen in the US ambassadorÕs res-idence, in a more low-key day com-pared to WednesdayÕs formalities,requests that were rejected byBuckingham Palace had apparent-ly included the closure of the ÔtubeÕair force jets and helicopters. The march started along thethree-mile route around two thirtyyesterday afternoon, apparentlyunderestimated the number of pro-testors, in Malet Street inand Downing Street before finish-ing in Trafalgar Square. Extra se-curity was laid on around DowningStreet as protestors, booed, jeeredand hurled insults at George Bushas they passed. There was majordisruption to the centre of Londonwith widespread road closuresaround the route as the protestorsapproached. The protest reached its peakwith scenes reminiscent of the top-in Baghdad. Aforty-foot high gold-en papier-m‰chŽ effigy of GeorgeBush holding a missile with Tonyin Trafalgar Square to loud ap-chants from Ò1,2,3,4, Tony Blair isBushÕs whoreÓ to ÒTony, Tony, Tony,out, out, outÓ, all featured promi-square as speakers addressed thecrowds. Music and a carnival at-mosphere in Trafalgar Square greet-ed protestors with bands playingerally quite friendly.Some of the more colourful pro-testors included Abraham Lincolnwalking around on stilts, would-a white coffin being marched alongmany as 1,000 European anarchistscould turn up with the express in-tention of creating disruption. Thethreats never materialised.In reference to the protests,George Bush had previously spo-ken of his enthusiasm for freespeech. Howvever, a press con-ference yesterday was dominatedby the bombing in Turkey as both Bush whacked Students reject Bush Cambridge students ensured they played aprominent part in yesterda秕s nationalprotest in London with five coaches,organ-ised by the Cambridge Stop the WarCoalition,setting out from Cambridge witharound 120 student protestors on board.CamSAW,Cambridge Students Against theWar,also played a major part. One student, Kim Phillips from Jesus said thatthe march has definitely been a success, Òwith-out doubt no matter where they were in Londontoday, Bush and Blair will have heard usÓ. anti-Bush protest on Wednesday, with organis-ers reckoning around 100 protestors turnedout in Market Square to demonstrate and topplestatues of Bush and Blair. Various speakers ad-dressed the crowd, attacking both Bush and Blair. against George Bush?Õ was debated by CUSU onWednesday with 60 people present, 33 of whomvoted in favour. However, as the meetingÕs at-ed for quorum, the result has limited significance. There have been a variety of other anti-Bushprotests in Cambridge to mark the US presidentÕsstate visit. Last Saturday saw a protest outsidethe Esso petrol station in Trumpington, with theprotestors, including a tiger sporting an ÔEssosucksÕ t-shirt. They urged motorists to boycottthe company. AÒStop BushÓ banner was unfurled last weekon top of the railway bridge. The protestor, in anof innocent Iraqis have died as a result of a 21stcentury crusade, state honours are being lavisheddemocracy and international lawÓ. Aman waslater arrested in relation to the incident. Margaret Thatcher픀s exercise books, her father픀s sermon notes, and the onlyremaining copy of the Tory PartyÕs 1978 draft manifesto have been opened up tothe public. Churchill College Archives released these along with hundreds ofother previously unavailable documents on Monday. They reveal that early onin her career, the Iron Lady contemplated quitting politics entirely to focus on acareer at the Bar instead, Òwith no further thought of a parliamentary career forreleased during the lifetime of a former Prime Minister and many Government-held documents are still unavailable due to Whitehall regulations. Secrets of the Iron Lady .indymedia.org,uk Neil Laurenson and Jonathan Wood Jonathan Wood Bush unlikely to be rattledby CUSU Open Meeting ave far as Tim Stanley is concerned, I have only smoked pot twice inmy life.The first occasion wasChristmas 1998 at my auntÕs housein frthenthenverepisode of Only Fools and Horses. drug friendly - indeed, my auntly confused with Gold Top milk)room. Before one could say ÔPuffthe Magic DragonÕ we were all get-ting pleasantly off our faces in amore certain route to relief frommore profound. In thewas invited to a very pretty younggirlÕs room to suck upon a spliffthe size of the New Forest. I natu-press the young lady with my abil-so inhaled deeply in short breaths.ing in a bath vomiting profuselystuff ever again. Later on thatevening I groggily gave aFrenchman I hardly knew a mas-sage and introduced my teddybear to the entire floor by system-asking, ÔHave you met Mr Fluffy?ÕI recount these two stories notdrugs I do so not with the moralthing that is probably eighty per-were immature practices largelybrought about by peer pressure.cases I felt ill afterwards and in oneGrantchester bare foot. But Cambridge is drugs ob-sessed. This is tragic for two reasons,ignoring entirely the argument thatences probably lead inexorably toearly death. The first reason is thatsomeone somewhere is simply notprofiting from our misery. IndeedtheyÕre suffering inexorably. Afewterms ago I entered a wheeze with abisexual from Eton to report to thepolice the fact that illegal drugs werebeing taken in the Union (HowardMarks was handing them out). AtCointreau-orientated prank, but inof Marijuana crops are still producedin third world countries with GNPsso low theyÕd force even KingÕs torise to predominance amongst stu-dent middle class layabouts. Drugsdo not emerge from the ether, butare part of a cycle of crime that willnever be broken unless we simplySecondly, I realise now thatdrugs are not a solution to, but anal and our political system so rot-only get through it by sitting infront of a wall watching large pinkcousins in blue? Possibly. But thatsays more about Cambridge andabout the power of heroin tochange our world view.In short, drug use is immature,symptomatic of a wider problemonly we could learn to appreciateart or literature more then we mightnot be reduced to snorting coke inmore pleasurable and sociable wayestly say that alcoholism has intro-duced me to more people and moreenced if sober. And IÕve got the tow-els I nicked from Trumpington Weed Vent your spleen at commentanalysis@varsity.co.uk more pleasurableand sociableway to whileaway a lifetime They called it an Ôindicative voteÕin opposition to George BushÕsstate visit to Britain,but theirdisappointment was palpable.Yes,on Wednesday afternoon atan Emergency Open Meetingheld at Kings,the gatheredforces of CamSAW and theSocialist WorkersÕParty man-aged to muster just 33 votes insupport of their motion.Thatstrange phrase,Ôindicative voteÕ,was used because,the meetingbeing well short of the 100rate,the decision had no signif-icance at all.It is not CUSU pol-icy to oppose BushÕs visit. To be honest, I expected better ofproposers of this motion. Of course,(see Article Aof the CUSUtaxpayerÕ). Come off it, Dan. We canweÕre having this debate, letÕs berest is paid for by the British tax-mired Dan as a behind-the-scenespolitical maneouvrer. Surely, in thegether 100 people to force throughhoping, to be declared a Tory bas-tard and Bush supporter by peopleKeynes Hall with the promise of anthey were very very good. In theend, all I got was Dan Mayer, whoduly called me a closet Tory andBush lover. For the record, Dan,pid man ever to be trusted with theof a farce. Just over 50 people, safecance, debated at cross purposes for15 minutes. Dan and his croniesly active. We confirmed that theyby foreign leaders. They said thatmany students opposed Bush. Weand some students didnÕt. AndOf the 11 people who, like me,voted against yesterdayÕs motion,not one expressed any support foronly with our interests as students.To take a position on foreign leadersattentions from the important issuesnational visa renewal charges andeveryday student welfare. We have an active, effective stu-terests of all the students. And theywill do well to ignore the ignorantthink that the violent overthrow ofthe Ôinternational ruling orderÕ will Dave Hall is President of the Unionof Clare Students. arsity Archive .varsity.co.uk COMMENT AND ANALYSISv 21,2003 OR:ARCHIEBLAND Why Cambridge should thinkabout positive discrimination Interview week is fast ap-proaching and the perennialquestion of ÔaccessÕis in thepublic gaze again.BristolUniversity elevated the debateto headier heights last year byqualified students from privateschools in favour of state schoolapplicants with lower grades.advisory committee on univer-sity entrance and got the NewYork giant Professor Schwarz American model whereby access isjudged Ônot by where one stands butget thereÕ. ItÕs a particularly touchytions of favouring protŽgŽs from theeas and offer departments a 20%premium for every applicant theytake from these areas. It smackspecially when parents haveand wellies, are all jolly cross.There is a logic behind it. In 19620.25m students were in higher edu-cation which had soared to 1.3m by2001. But whereas enrolments of stu-dents from professional backgroundshas risen from 15% to 50%, enrol-ments from non professional hasrisen from 8% to just 18% . The mid-dle classes are hogging all the places. Ôplummeting standardsÕ which are퐀remedial educationÕ (teaching us allthe stuff we should already know)- and you might deduce that the rug-ger and lacrosse captains are not ex-Schwarz says lots of great minds areversities arenÕt recognising that statehigh grades at A-level but theyÕll out-perform at university. There are two reasons why thisschool kids have to show more ini-therefore respond better to uni-parts. Researchers at WarwickÔindependent school effectÕ. Thiscandidates seem cleverer than theyare because of their schoolsÕ abili-ty to pull everyone through withhigh A-levels, but put them in theÔperformance gapÕ emerges - theAs at A-level but oneÕs from a pri-have Ôtravelled furtherÕ and there-fore must be Ôdrawn from a highertributionÕ. You can see his point.The second argument is thattheir Ôcultural assetsÕ are likely toand future earning potential prettywell established before they eventry hard for their 3 As in large partchance to extend their high calibregentlemanÕs degreeÕ as long as theySchwarz argues that state schoolchildren not so well attuned to thecial capital by working harder andsome 7% more firsts and 2:1s. Is this a strong enough case for so-tangibles to know. The Spectator moaned Ôthe pogrom of the privi-leged childrenÕ but as usual theiradmissions officers say theyÕve Ôal-ways tried to look at A-levels in thecontext they were achievedÕ. TheyÔguidelinesÕ are too permissive. The Spectator forgets that thegreat legacy of the private schooleducation is that you can breezethrough interviews like youÕre sell-ple from state school could neverdo. As long as the interview re-mains the centrepiece of Oxbridgeadmissions the ÔTim nice-but dimsÕ The middleclasses,in theirBarbour jacketsand wellies,areall jolly cross Confessions of an eBay addict Ronojoy Dam looks at the growing phenomenon of online auctions 퉔hatÕs itÉ IÕm officially addictedto eBay; I canÕt think of ÔanythingÕ䧕ve done in the past six monthsthat follows being outbid at thelast second.Bastards.ItÕs madnessI tell you.Madness.Somebodystop me.Please.팀 So read the email from a friendlast month. Do not underestimateaddiction is a dangerous phenom-enon mercilessly taking over theWorld Wide Web population asreceives in excess of 140 million hitsper week and hosts around a mil-1000 categories. For many, itÕs notand money of sufferers as they com-fort themselves with the pretext thatthey are actually gaining somethinglatter half of Easter Term saw me de-junkiedom: sleepless nights enduredplotting of future ones while constantessary as breathing. The first failurebreathless, panting, in a state of shock.Food was reduced to a merenervous smoking increased as thedown. From only bidding on thingsI really wanted like a dailypheromone spray, which claimedStreet Preachers vinyl 12Ó from Õ91,like a gorilla in a palm tree and atruly wonderful alarm clock, fea-turing a small caricature of BillClinton that dropped his pants o All The Girls IÕve Loved Before It was only the end of term, a returnsorry ass. I am truly grateful.However, while eBay may betion, it is also there to be exploitedthrough which to exploit all thoseother losers out there. If a dodgyBMW were to pull up as you mean-dered through Market Square as thepliment you on your bargain con-noisseur appearance before pro-Ôtop qualityÕ watches all for the re-duced price of a few hundred quid,where else could you have a 40Wfor personal profit other than eBay? Acharitable man in the US put upthe snow in his backyard for sale asit was surplus to requirements withthe buyer having to collect. Anotherfriend of mine, with more imagina-tion than money, has decided to sellNew York. He has raised £20.65 sofar. ItÕs not really working.Maybe if youÕre like the eBay wid- www.ebaywidow.com bandÕs lack of self-control and couldreally do with your charitable dona-tion then there is hope to be found inYou simply apply the patch to yourforehead and results should be ex-however, well then they may as wellnity, drug-free urine and strawberry Alex Mair www.varsity.co.uk COMMENT & ANALYSIS / FEATURESv 21,2003 EDITOR:ARCHIE BLAND / TOM EBBUTT Have an interesting idea? Want to write for Varsity? Email: features@varsity.co.uk www.varsity.co.uk EDITORIALNov 21,2003 Tom Ebbutt editor@varsity.co.uk Online Editor Tim Moreton webeditor@varsity.co.uk Chief News Editor Reggie Vettasseri news@varsity.co.uk Business Manager Sam Gallagher business@varsity.co.uk Technical Director Tim Harris Photos Editor photos@varsity.co.uk Production Managers Matthew Jaffe production@varsity.co.uk Design Manager Tom Walters design@varsity.co.uk Page Setters Thanks to the whole team Chief Subeditors Rebecca Willis subediting@varsity.co.uk Editorial Cartoonist Andrew James Varsity please e-mail the relevant section editor . 11-12 Trumpington Street, Cambridge, CB2Varsity is published by Varsity Publications News. All copyright is the exclusive prop-erty of Varsity Publications Ltd. No partof this publication may be reproduced,stored in a retrieval system or transmittedprior permission of the publisher. What the Union is for in words 퉗eÕve seen plenty of American flags. WeÕve seen plenty of peoplewaving to us Ð many, many more people in fact than protestersÓ First lady Laura Bush told reporters she had barely noticed the oppo- ÒHad I been a terrorist intent on assassinating the Queen or Americanpresident George Bush, I could have done so with absolute easeÓ Ryan Parry, reporter for the Daily Mirror, who got a job as a footmanat Buckingham Palace to expose the poor security standards ÒThatcher픀s political convictions show us all the need to be strong CUCAChairman Edward Cumming on the importance of the ÒThe thought of a northern, working class, ethnic minority Presidenthorrifies the Union cliquesÓ Alan Mak on his disqualification from the Union election. 퉉瓕s not that IÕm unsympatheticÉÓ Union President, Will Gallagher, softens the blow as he proposes a ÒI understand youÕve attempted to rectify the situation by leavinglights on in the Old Porters Lodge and a Ôwill be back sign.ÕÓ Junior MembersÕ AssociationÕs Welfare Officer on security concerns ÒI can assure you that within a very short period of time, multiplecounts will be filedÓ Tom Sneddon, Santa Barbara District Attorney, on the arrest ofMichael Jackson on multiple charges of child sex abuse. 퉗e have just to keep our feet firmly on the ground and take away England coach Clive Woodward on SaturdayÕs Rugby World Cup fi-nal against Australia. The Uni is a political pawn Another term,another scandal at the Cambridge Union.Anotheraggrieved presidential hopeful whoÕs willing to Òdo anythingÓto getback for what has been done.Echoes of Union terms past ring in ourears.But,in all honesty - do we really care? The Union should be about good speakers, interesting, topical debates and entsthat make you want to leave the comfort of your college. This termÕs programmehas been a good one, but the Union needs to begin to attract as officers thosewho are interested in, and motivated by, putting a smile on the face of the mem-bers rather than climbing the greasy pole.Next Thursday the Union debates whether or not we should save Gardies Ðsurely the issue of the term at Cambridge. Varsity will be there. WeÕre trying tomake sure Vas will be too. Now the debacle is over, why not come along and seewhat the Union can really do in the area where it should be concentrating: mak-ing sure that Cambridge canÕt wait for next Thursday to come round. With the University facing an ever rising deficit the Fellowship ofFitzwilliam College have come up with the solution everyone has beenlooking for Ð the cardboard staff member. Not only can you be frustrated by the inanimate porter, why not queue up foryour dinner and be confused by the cardboard canteen staff or head to your su-for. Until you realise heÕs just an amateur mock up. There is one place where theidea would certainly come in very handy; a cardboard KingÕs Bursar. Willing totake the flak at regular intervals for the CollegeÕs problems and very unlikely to The University is set to announce a scheme of bursaries that will rad-ically change the financial position in which students from the lowestincome backgrounds find themselves at Cambridge.By supplement-ing the GovernmentÕs proposed Hardship Grant of £1,000 with a fur-ther £4,000 grant,Cambridge plans to use its financial clout to ensurethat students whose parents earn less than £15,000 may not even needto draw their full student loans in order to get by at university. The proposals are linked, in their substance and in their timing, with the intro-nouncement of differential fees in the QueenÕs Speech. What the Governmentshould actually be announcing, regardless of their proposals for funding teach-ing and research, is a scheme of student support that actually meets basic needs.As it stands, the Newton Trust bursaries (up to £1,000 systematically offeredto all students with full LEAfee contribution) go a long way to closing the dis-parity between student loan levels and £5,800 Ð the figure that universities,Cambridge included, accept is a minimum realistic budget. That the Governmentdoes not currently offer any student the ability to even borrow such an amountNow, the Undergraduate Bursaries Committee and the Newton Trust, fromwhom these proposals arise, are providing tacit approval of top-up fee proposalsin order to make up for the GovernmentÕs continued failure in providing ade-This is a bitter irony that will not be lost on those caught in the poverty trap ofincreasing parental contributions and rapidly reducing support just above theꌀ18,000 income bracket. Tuition fee contributions, falling student loans, fallingNewton Bursaries, and ineligibility for new Government Hardship Grants allstart to bite. Plotting a graph of the parental contribution required to meet theUniversityÕs Òbread and waterÓ maintenance target for different income levelsshows those in the range of £18,000 to 30,000 suffer worst Ð along with those thatfall through the means-testing regime. The ÒtaperÓ that will determine to whatextent these students benefit from the new proposals has yet to be decided, butit is unlikely to offer much consolation. The Newton Trust has become a pawn in a wider political game. No student Varsity on Cambridge University to introduce the proposed levels of support now, ifthey believe they are needed at all, and fund them from existing sources.How education and teaching are funded is a separate matter. .varsity.co.uk EDITORIALNov 21,2003 EDITOR:TOM EBBUTT A lot of the time,trying to get ato jump through burning hoopsbackwards whilst balancing acandelabra on your head.ItÕs cer-ing brainwashed,and cast in themould of ÔCambridge GraduateÕ.This place gets under our skin,gets into our veins,makes us whowe are,and also what w旕reÔmeantÕto be - like non-vintagewines,the aim is to create thesame drinkable,but predictableproduct every year. When I arrived here, fresh out ofmy northern state comprehensiveso much more than the sum of myrules. ItÕs all very well to be intelli-gent - which we all are - but now, aspainfully aware that we are unique-ly, ridiculously employable, andin the country. Ahypocrisy that hasadmittedly been thrust upon us, butthere is still little excuse.are going to be a bit of a picnic af-ter the average degree here. FromWorldÓ, nobody expects you to at-tend work on a Saturday (ˆ la sci-bodyÕs lifeÕs work (ˆ la ArtsItÕs not funny when youÕre sat in theer university would credit you withyou the right to exercise it... Youto be aware of your superior intel-cursed and blessed in future years.In actual jobs, however, you workyour sorry ass off for the man from9 til 5, you go home, you switch off,lacrosse, for GodÕs sake - you cannever go home. Your supervisorprobably stands behind you in thesandwich queue, and your exam re-sults get stuck up on a big board.from Brighton, Bath, and UWE.mean dodgy rented accommoda-scary landlords, not a college houseminutes walk from the college bar,tirety of their degree. For them, freelaundry, bedders, hall and super-visions were alien concepts. Butdown. To achieve our edge in mat-ters of thought and intellect, we aretreated like naughty schoolchild-ren until the age of twenty-one.unreal one too. You have to wonderwhy we are given so much - what dothey expect in return for it? Asidefrom the obvious spare million tosplurge on library books if we everdo make money, why do they do it?I donÕt know. But I do know that asas our fellow students from Angliawill remain supremely well-edu-ileged though we are, we at leastearned it in a meritocratic way. Itleast weÕre here because weÕremummy and daddy are rich. Yourto revel in everything thatÕs greatanachronistic idiosyncrasies andemerge victorious into the realworld, before squinting throughyour hangover eyes and realisingthat it was all a dream... Four Weddings and a Funeral wasa movie made for the British mar-ket that made it big in the States. Love Actually by contrast is amovie made for the Americans.Just about every significant Britishactor of the last ten years isthat conform to every stereotypethat Americans have of us Brits.We are sophisticated,charming,bashful,handsome and clever.Inother words,we are Hugh Grant. Looking around the cinema andhearing the coos from the Americanat least the image of us that RichardSince IÕve been here in America Ihave relished this devotion. Whencrazy. The mere incidence of my birthWilliam and Tony Blair. Given that theBrent from The Office should be flattered that I wasnÕt com-pared to him. Give it a few years. If the American stereotype of thestereotype of the American is mis-guided and nasty. Where they thinkwe are clever, we think they are stu-pid. Where we are sophisticated, theyare folksy. Where we are handsome,they are fat. Where we are reserved,they are gauche. Where we hate war,they glorify war. They love Tony Blair;we hate George Bush. In our mindsGeorge Bush has become allAmericans. George Bush is a stupid,folksy, warmongering President. Soall Americans must also be stupid,Wrong. No individual can sym-bolise all Americans, not even aPresident voted for by a minority ofCambridge, Massachusetts are moreprogressive (or Lefty depending onbottle of Dr Pepper they donÕt throwit away, they recycle it. When studentsfrom minority groups apply to theirWhen they have free time, they vol-unteer for a local charity. When theyvote, they donÕt vote Bush. And theycertainly donÕt support the war.Now, Harvard and its environs arenot America. But they are a piece ofthe large jigsaw puzzle that isAmerica. Apiece as real as those deepsouth states that have captured ourattention in recent years. By all means hate this President,protest against the war, donate tothe George Galloway fighting fund.Bush is any more America than Hugh Americans arenÕt Welcome to the finest production line in the world Dear Editor,Last weekÕs article ÔThe milkround runs dryÕ willhave shocked many of your readers. Although itÕs truethat 47% of Cambridge first degree graduates left with-year-of7%7%only 3%. Although the economic downturn introduceduncertainty into some sectors on a national level, therewill always be a strong demand for Cambridge students.The Careers Service is here, funded by theUniversity, to help students and graduates achievewhatever future they want regardless of the twists andRegards,Gordon ChestermanDirector, Careers Service Wednesday, and be as concise as possible. The editorsreserve the right to edit all copy. letters@varsity.co.uk Dear Sir,I recently read in The Times Gardenia from closure. It was said that the restaurantSir here is a gross injustice! The Gardenia was in fullaction during my time at Magdalene from 1955 to 1958.I shall never forget and shall always be grateful for thegenerous helpings of spaghetti bolognese and chipsor, if one felt slightly flusher, kebab with spaghettiunfairly good-looking gentleman called Mr Alexander;adored wide for very nearly 46 years now.With all good wishes to you and the dear Gardenia, I remain, yours faithfully, Gardies:Actually open since 1955 Milkround smiles Dear Editor,I would like to clarify some remarks I made inlast weeks article on Gardies. When stating my opin-ion, I was referring specifically to CUSU COUNCIL,and not to CUSU as an organisation. The latter playsa vital role in student life, - to the extent that I believeI could not fulfil my duties as JCR President withoutsis, which causes it consistently to fail to fulfil its role.It neither accurately represents the Cambridge stu-dents (e.g. over Gardies), nor makes wise decisions(such as last yearÕs blanket condemnation of theransom by various interested groups, and is not suf-ficiently accountable to the student body.Yours,JCR President, Trinity Hall Paul Lewis is a prejudiced biggot Dear Editor,I write in outrage regarding Paul LewisÕ prejudiced anddismissive treatment of Cuba in his interview with TonyBenn. With regards to breaching human rights, is it notthe world, that every person without exception receivesfree medical care and free education through school, uni-Compare that with Cambridge where a stabbing is of-and the looming top-up fees will increase our debts by sev-I would suggest that the greatest abusers of human rightsare those who impose the trade embargo on the island thatresults in nothing but the suffering of ordinary people. Andthose who continue to spread the ignorant view that Cubais somehow in need of lessons from the West.Yours faithfully, Helen Fraser A clarification www.varsity.co.uk WHERE NOW?Nov 21,2003 OR:ALEXSTEER What next? Send your comments and opinions to wherenow@varsity.co.uk Where now? Fifteen years after Magdalene, the last of the former all-male colleges to de-segregate, opened its doorsto women, students at Newnham, New Hall and Lucy Cavendish are collecting signatures as part of aÔPurple Ribbon CampaignÕto support their colleges. But, with a near-equal balance of male to femalestudents in Cambridge, can the UniversityÕs women-only institutions justify their existence? Can women픀s colleges survive? New Hall was created in 1954 to increasethe proportion of women at Cambridgeat a time when the University Statutesrequired that the total number of womenshould never be more than one fifth the This Statute was duly repealed and, thanksis a comfortable 50:50. But the role of thewomen's colleges has long been about a greatdeal more than numbers. It is important torealise that women's colleges are not survivorsfrom the past - they are about the futures that(famous names like Wellesley, Smith, MtHolyoke, Barnard), who saw their numbersnow find that the applications to them are high-er than ever before, as ambitious and inde-their best career choice. Women mature atdifferent rates from men and prefer to socialiseVirginia Woolf insisted on the importance of"ARoom of One's Own". It is clear from NewHall's results that students on whose talent andas the other women in this university. And ina year when we outperformed Trinity in theMathematics Tripos we can be confident thatour selection processes are in first class order.There was a mistaken idea in the Sixties andwomen had to become more like men and movepractices which grew up in celibate male insti-norm for the 21st century. Given that they haveserve through the thoroughly co-educationalstructures of the University of Cambridge,ciety of their choosing, not one created by men. The recent uproar over women's collegeshas sparked an energetic debate,whichfoundations were laid. I'm writing this article in the hope of intro-from the perspective of both a Newnhamiteand JCR women's officer at Newnham.You don't have to be a preaching feminist torealise the distinct imbalance in male:femaleratios at some colleges. It is true that if it weren'tn't be at Cambridge and that's a really shockingbers, but it just proves a bias, highlighting the ne-Obviously, there are students at Newnham,New Hall and Lucy Cavendish who don't sharecolleges (in my opinion, they're in the gross mi-nority.) Truthfully though, they don't realisehow lucky they are. It has been shown that ahuge percentage of male success in exams is dueto supervisions and not just because women arecomparatively more stupid. CUSU Women'sCouncil has proven that students from all-fe-that women aren't intimidated by male peers insupervisions, so are offered the academic sup-It really angers me to hear prejudiced, un-colleges, when clearly they're not the ones suf-fering at the hands of politics. There are somestudents, who for religious, social and sexualreasons may only feel comfortable in an all-female environment and single-sex collegespeople will agree with me when I say there isa remarkable, down-to-earth and friendly at-mosphere at the college. Everybody should sup-of women's colleges. And maybe think twicebefore judging Ð womenÕs colleges are not un-they do not make us scared to talk to boys.They're a necessity and should stay. Forever. Anne Lonsdale President of New Hall Aarti Shah WomenÕs Officer, Newnham College JCR 1869 Ð Emily Davies opens the College for Women at Benslow House,Hitchin.1871 Ð A year after lectures for women are established in Cambridge,Henry Sidgwick rents a house in Regent Street in which female students (five at first) can stay.1872 Ð The College moves to its present site,two miles outside the citycentre,and is re-named Girton College.An Association is formed Ôto obtain for the students of the College admission to examinationsfor degrees of the University of Cambridge.픀1873 Ð The first three Girton students (Woodhead,Cook and Lumsden) to sit Tripos exams do so in this year,but are not classed or awarded degrees because Girton does not have official collegiate status.1875 Ð After gaining a lease of land,NewnhamÕs early supporters build Newnham Hall on the collegeÕs current site.1890 Ð Newnham student Philippa Fawcett gains the highest degree result in the Mathematical Tripos (though,as a women,her degree 1897 Ð In response to a call to vote on whether women should be allowed to be examined for degrees, The Times prints train timetables so that graduates working in London could travel to Cambridge to vote1921 Ð In Oxford women are admitted to degrees,but in Cambridge female students are limited to titular BAs,with none of the privileges available to male graduates.1948 Ð Following a Regent House decision and royal approval,women are admitted to full membership of the University alongside men,and Girton receives full collegiate status.1954 Ð New Hall,a third womenÕs college,is founded.1965 Ð Lucy Cavendish is established as a womenÕs graduate foundation (admits first undergraduates in 1972).1979 Ð Girton admits its first male fellows and undergraduates.1988 Ð Magdalene becomes the last all-male college to admit women.1997 Ð Lucy Cavendish is granted a Royal Charter and becomes a self-governing college. WomenÕs Colleges:ABrief History 퉙ou donÕt have to be apreaching feminist to re-male:female ratios ÒThe role of womenÕs col-leges has long been abouta great deal more thannumbers 퉗omen mature at dif-ferent rates from menand prefer to socialise ontheir own terms ÒIt has been shown that ahuge percentage of malesuccess in exams is due tosupervisions and not justbecause women are com-paratively more stupid Jet Photographic EDITOR:ANDREW R.MACDOWALL www.varsity.co.uk TRAVELNov 21,2003 Visiting Ôthe Misty IsleÕprom-ises more than a Ôpie in theSky旕chance of an excellentbreak.From spectacularscenery to unrivalled hospi-tality Skye has much to offer ÐitÕs a unique,truly special partof the British Isles. to offer are simply breathtaking.from the Cuillin mountain ridgewhich offers good walks andclimbs for the fit, energetic stu-there are countless other beautyaround the Island. Kilt Rockviewpoint near Staffin is partic-Although dark clouds rarelyfall on Skye, there is still much todo if it does rain. The Aros VisitorCentre in Portree, amongst otherthings, takes an interesting lookon Skye in the recently intro-also fascinating and Staffindiscovered nearby.Staying on Skye is a rare treatand there are many hostels,B&Bs and hotels offering firstvalue for money. There is also aplaces to eat. Amongst mybig on atmosphere and hasthe friendly public bar. Evenand ÔPrince in IndiaÕ in Portreedistillery and brewery and forthose of us appreciating a littlesnortorino (Sir Dennis Thatcher핳term) Talisker Malt Whiskey isthe stuff. Its distinctive, peatyright through. Red Cuillin Ale,brewed in Uig, is a nice, smoothdrop full of flavour and charac-ter - recommended. The morning after, take aÔBella JaneÕ boat trip from Elgolto Loch Coruisk which enjoys amystical reputation and canVisit the Isle of Skye Ð itÕs wellworth the journey. Alasdair Ross Desperate to escape holiday car-nage and the unrivalled ineptitudeof international air travel I mi-grated to West Scotland where Iwas promised mountains,midgesand a severe abundance of grey. In fact, Loch Torridon is so remoteand obscure that the only thing nextto its name on the road atlas was a tele-or at least perhaps a post box. Not so.The nearest hospital is 2 hours away.By helicopter.lightening storms. IÕve dived off theshore of uninhabited white pebblebeaches at Cephallonian sunrise. Yetsomehow an obscure, insect infestedwest-coast hamlet revealed nature픀scolours. There is something inexpli-ancient, heather-strewn mountain. Thewere challenged perhaps only by theTorridon appears to the untrainedeye as a fragment of Scotland large-ernisation. Its exact location remainsa mystery simply because there areno specific maps of the area. Theto use the word, simply becausethere was no one there to be at-explicably fresh water. One of themore surreal moments came on theappeared to be replaced by whatlooked suspiciously like little greenhairy hummocks. To further my dis-belief there were sheep on the afore-allergic to anything remotely re-sheep swim out (no really, they do.For a creature so aerodynamicallyfast) and then graze on the pre-sheep that retain your attention.Midges have a far more lasting im-pression, normally taking the form ofsmall red bumps. Indeed, one of myexpeditions led me to the reindeertired in the traditional kilt etc. ÔAyeÕhe said, eyes resuming middle-dis-wear. Ah forgot tae wan day. Theybloody murdered mah manhood.ÕThus informed I never ventured todamaging amount of mozzie repel-lent, and Marks and SpencerÕs finest.Yet if midges rule the air, it is thereindeer who reign on the ground.Their bellowings, scuffling and inim-itable charisma make them remark-able creatures, and I will admit totime feeding them carrots, for theFrom the ruminating reindeer tocovered Scotland is challenginglybeautiful. But Loch Torridon had a per-rare breed reindeer farm. But then, tobe honest, I didnÕt expect to find a rare-breed reindeer farm... ÒThere is something inexplicably immobilising about staring at an ancient, heather-strewn mountainÓ Cruising on a Capital coast Local boy Chris Wilson on Edinburgh픀s seaside environs The annual International Festivalleaves the city of Edinburgh opento misinterpretation.Althoughwithout doubt the Festival is aEdinburghÕs tourist calendar itdoes leave many with the impres-sion that Edinburgh is a Òone However, one relatively touristfree environment which providesnatural attraction is EdinburghÕsNorth West coastline.be easily accessed by bus from PrincesStreet and are the perfect places towalk off a hangover or recover froma drama overdose. The wide sandylous views across to Fife.touched by the city and its hordeshide Cramond Tower and Cramondous Roman remains. The morningcould be satisfyingly rounded offHotel or an ice cream at the smallForth. Atrue village within a city. Another little-promoted coastalcessible by boat. Make sure youleave time to explore the cobbledstreets of South Queensferry or . Fromthe ferry, you are virtually guar-anteed sightings of numerous sealsbasking on the rocks, and in recentOn the island, visit the remark-able 12th Century Abbey - when youwalk around its cloisters, up anddown its tight staircases and read theis hard not to have your breath tak-Alexander I was forced to takerefuge there during a storm in 1123;EdinburghÕs great escape. Visit Scotland It픀s a reindeer thing Scotland Special Rebecca Heselton on beautiful,quirky Loch Torridon He loves the spirit of the nation,embodied for him bythe passing motorists warning each other about ap-proaching speed cameras using their ÒblinkersÓ; heloves the fact that 30,000 men can sing ÒBroadwayshow-tunesÓin unison at football games. Like most Americans it seems, he adores the culture andheritage of England. After a long talk and book-signing ses-sion, he was still keen to wander around Cambridge, havea look inside KingÕs College Chapel and sample some ÒrealBut MooreÕs soft spot for this country is waning. He hasalways admired that our nation is not yet American, but seesthe Empire of the US slowly encroaching upon British soil.He hates that public sector services are being chewed upand swallowed by the capitalist menace, remarking, withan appropriate mixture of derision and despair, ÒYouhave a fucking record store running your trains!Ó When asked if Moore believed we were close toseeing an American Empire he remarked, ÒI thinkweÕre already there, but itÕs not too late to stopit.Ó And stopping this Empire is precisely whatMoore is on a mission to do, and it starts by tar-geting the man seated at its head Ð George W. Bush. Dude, Wher旕s My Country? sentially a reworking of the ideas expressed in his Stupid White Men still not been reviewed by the New York Times remains a polemic against the Bush ad- Varsity he is reaching peopleat the crucial mo-many. IÕve got a mil-ready bought this bookin three weeks. White Men Perhaps this is why he remarks so flip-pantly that the American mediaÕs apparent boycott of hisbook (he has only appeared once on a TV network in the lastHe shrugs, pointing out that ÒIÕve been completely ig-nored again, and it doesnÕt matter. The people tell each oth-ter how thick the media is, no matter whatever, the peopleare gonna do what needs to get doneÓ.You may not agree with what he says, but you canÕt ar-gue with the sales figures, and it is this that fills him withpride: ÒAmerica is a good country, full of good people. TheyHe talks about the American peopleÕs inability to un-derstand the global hostility towards their society, and hints퉗e think weÕre a very generous people. People say ÔLookYet evenwords into the mouth of his coun-trymen, Moore cannot resist a little joke and it is perhaps thisthat has led to a degree of criticism. When listening it is hardto know what is spoken in earnest, and what is deliveredwith the tongue planted firmly in the cheek. And perhapshe doesnÕt either. During his speech he remarked rather vaguely upon hisconvey his message Ð and one cannot argue with the resultsBut there is a sense that, while he is an excellent speak-er, he is preaching largely to the converted, in this countryat least. Speaking to his sister, she seemed surprised whentold that Moore was less shocking this side of the pond, sincehe seemed to be broadly articulating public opinion.Perhaps this is where one might question his motives. Heis engaging upon a world book tour when the rest of theworld already agree with him (in the broadest sense).diffusing some of the time bombs that threaten his society Ðthe poor quality of education, the culture of fear.He remarks passionately that ÒWe are a nation foundedin fear. ItÕs inbred in the culture and I donÕt know what to doabout it but IÕm really concerned about itÓ. answer, and it may not be waiting for him in Germany,But whatever one may think of this current tour, thereis no denying that Moore reaches a lot of people, andAmerican Dream he was quick to express his views:ÒNo I think that whatÕs happened is that the AmericanDream has been revealed for what it is: a dream. ItÕsnot a reality. ItÕs just a carrot to hold out there in frontof peopleÕs noses. So itÕs actually appropriatelynamed. Apart from big business. For them itÕs not theAmerican Dream itÕs the American Reality.Ó education budget could not be improved by shaving afew billion off of the hefty defence budget, he succinctlysummarised his views: ÒExactly. This is yourPerhaps hisproblem is thatto provide the answers toproved, racism needs to be stopped, and Bush must go. But he doesnÕt seriously discuss the alternatives. PerhapsIt is because to discuss the alternatives would require abook of some magnitude and sobriety; it would require abook that his public would undoubtedly buy after his pre-vious successes, but would probably not finish. In otherwords it is a book that Michael Moore does not want to write. For Moore, what is important is that people start to ques-who are stupid enough to try. www.varsity.co.uk INTERVIEWNov 21,2003 OR:PAUL LEWIS Dude,Where픀s My Country? In the only interview given whilst in Cambridge Michael Moore talks toTris Hager and Alex Rushmer about his battle with the American Empire ÒI think that the American dreamhas been revealed for what it reallyis:a dreamÓAmerica is a good country,full ofgood people.They just got a littlelost along the wa秓퉗e are a nation founded infear.ItÕs inbred in the cultureand I donÕt know what to do IÕm one of many,䧕ve been com-pletely ignored by the matin-stream media and it doesnÕt THEATRE V. ARTS Welcome to Listings pull-out.With our exper瓕s top recommendations below,Listings is your essential weekly guide to whatÕs on in Cambridge over the next seven days. ÒIf Quentin Tarantino ever dab-bled in fringe theatre, he might come - The Guardian. Frankly, fuck that; Cambridge Drama Centre 8pm8pm To submit listings go to www.varsity.co.uk/listings Brand New CrypticCrossword CambridgeÕs very own post-rock pop Akira Six By 21st21strinity HallÕs rocknight on Satur22nd22nd the Christmas Ball, Fresh As Snow for cocktail-fuelled ac-tion. DonÕt miss out! Ok. Listen. Books are well ex-and picture books and whatever Heffers on Trinity Street thisWednesday and get yourself a 20% Fri 21Fri 21ee exhibition of child art on HIV and of Clare College. From 2 to 7 andorganised by the Red Ribbon BallCommittee. Tickets to their ball on the28th raising funds for the TerrenceHiggins Trust, will be on sale at the ex-hibition: www.red-ribbon-ball.com. Party Monster at 11pm at theArts PicturFri and SatFri and SatCulkin, Seth Green and Chloegender-bending, drugs a go gonightlife of 80s Manhattan. Atrashy LOOKINGFOR LOVE? between the age of 18 and 23 to share my life and home with. Big titsare essential, and long blonde hair as well. Aclassy lady. She must be 1800 LOOK 4 LUV 30 years Interests: Shooting, Poker, Strip Clubs, Heavy Metal Music, Woodwork, Television Fat Women, Small Tits, Squirrels, Posh Restaurants, Star Sign: Taurus An eclectic mix of urban fashion and gifts from London 21 Petty Cury, Cambridge, CB2 3NE. Tel 01223 322 123. Monday - Saturday: 9.00am - 6.30pm. Sunday 11am - 6pm WARNING:THISMANDOESNOTSHOPATJOY An eclectic mix of UrbanFashion & Gifts from London FRIDAY CU HISPANIC SOCIETY: Weekly FILM: ÔELSUENO All University members welcome. Sidgwick Site, Lecture Block 3.3pm. Free for members. SUNDAY ChristÕs Films: Secretary Theatre. 8pm. . Secretary. Theatre. 10:30pm. . CharlieÕs Angels: Full Cameron Diaz, Lucy Liu &Drew Barrymore!. . CharlieÕs Angels II - Full - they return with a . WEDNESDAY Three films by Cameron . THURSDAY ChristÕs Films: Blazing Saddles. Theatre. 10pm. . The Quiet American gle & murwith Michael Cainewith Michael Caine . FRIDAY CU HISPANIC SOCIETY: Weekly FILM: POTESTAD Ó(Argentina). Lecture Block 3. 3pm. FRIDAYCambridge Dancer픀s Club: 24hr dance for Children in Need. Variety of dance styles. St Columbas Hall, off Downing Street. CU Chabad Society: Welcome the Shabbat with a delicious fourChabad House, 19 Regent Terrace. 7:30pm. special. All welcome. Student Centre, 3 ThompsonÕs Lane. The Culanu Centre, 1st Floor, 33a Bridge St, SATURDAY Intermediate ballet. 2:30pm. Kelsey Kerridge, Aerobics studio, top floor. Pembroke College Winnie-the-Pooh SUNDAY Launch: Come and sign up for talks, classes& workshops!. C.U.T.C.C.S: Tai Chi Chuan: Hand Form; Weapons Forms; Pushing Hands; Self- . MONDAY Buddhist Meditation Samatha Trust: Introductory course in meditation.www.samatha.org. Pembroke College, CU Jewish Society: Study with a buddy - explore topics ofCulanu Centre, 33 Bridge Street. CU Meditation & Buddhism Soc: Meditation with tai chi, chi qong, creativewriting, dreamwork. Maypole Quiz: The Maypole Pub, Park Street, . Speed Dating: ÒMusical Chairs with Chemistry⻓30 introductions in one night - great fun!. http://romance.ucam.org, . TUESDAY Improvers Ballet. For those of you thatKelsey Kerridge, Aeorbics studio. . . Parsha and Pasta - Come for a thought pro-voking supper. Chabad House, 19 Regent Terrace. C.U.T.C.C.S: Breathing Exercises for Stress Relief and . Full ThrottleSunday 23rd November - 7pm & 10pmThe Quiet AmericanWhat a Girl Wantswww.stjohnsfilms.org.uk FINDMORELISTINGSATWWW.VARSITY.CO.UK 21 NOVEMBER 03 WEDNESDAY Kabbalah Course - a beginners guideto the esoteric. THURSDAYC.U.T.C.C.S: Tai Chi Chuan: Hand Form; Weapons . Beginners ballet. Absolute beginners . C.U.T.C.C.S: Tai Chi Chuan: Hand Form; Weapons . Christs College, New Court Theatre. CU HISPANIC SOCIETY: eekly CONVERSATION EVENINGFREE CHAMPAGNE.University Centre, GRANTABAR. party. design@saalim.orgstuffcomparison with being a rock star, although an - wnext thursday. big party. join us.are... 4) come to the party or the events 5) in cambridge I guess it’s bikes that shine...versAll events are free to members, start at 6.30pm at Sidney Sussex, and include wine and dinner.www.cambridgefutures.com www.cambridgefutures.comTue鉳 You nd ouEND OF TERM PARTY!!! , (opp. Magdalene, along the boardwalk, past Henry’s)Meet other members of the society, drink, chill, talk to the current committee if you are interested FRIDAY The KingÕs Piano Trio perform works byFaurŽ, Beethoven and Mendelssohn. 9pm. £Student Tvery fewvery few£ West Road Concert Hall, . ChristÕs College Music Society: Presents HaydnÕs ÔClockÕ Symphony . Disintegration @ QueensÕEnts: Live alternative rock with Six.By Seven, . Rock n Roll and Cocktails for Children . QueensÕEnts: DISINTERGRATION! Live alterna-tive rock feat. Six.by Seven, Akiraand Sleepwalker. . St JohnÕs College Music Society: Term Concert: Vivaldi, Bach, . SATURDAY Andy Votel (Twisted Nerve/FatCity): Funk, soul, weird stuff. Clare College, Clare Cellars. . COSYCOSY: the press love Ôemwww.cosycosy.com. Portland Arms, Chesterton Road. . QueensÕEnts: CARNIVAL! 1EXTRAhits Cambridge . Serious Sounds & Valve Sound The legendary Valve Sound Systemstops off at Cambridge. . Term Concert: Vivaldi, Bach, Sibelius. Breakbeat from DJ Venus (Uk StudentDJ Competition Runer-Up) and DJ . Award HoldersÕ Concert Chambermusic by FaurŽ, Debussy and Martinu. West Road Concert Hall , . 8pm. £Student Tickets: £6 in advance Contact store for : 01223 35515527 HILLS, C, CB2 1NW 21 NOVEMBER 03 Enterprise Tuesday Be inspired by ASTRAsatellite programme Tuesday 25th November(doors open from 5.30 pm)Lecture Theatre 1, Chemistry Department MISCCONT... TALIANESTAURANT Party bookings up to 50 available 10% SDISCOUNT 17 Hills Road, Cambridge TUTORS WANTEDTutors needed to work with our son on ahome-based education programme.Our son Naren is 13 years old and suffersfrom autism.reliable, committed and motivated toThe programme is suitable forFull training will be provided with flexi-Starting pay of £7 per hour. on 01223411575 sing/play. Drum kit available.Sun 23rd Nov 10 -1pmChurchill College Recital Room (problems? contact Chivon on cw288)