Verbal Judo for Officials Chad Collins Kentucky High School Athletic Association What is Verbal JudoThe Japanese word JUDOJU gentleDO wayIn hysical Judo you use of the energy of others and redirect ID: 857944
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1 Verbal Judo for Officials!Chad Collins,
Verbal Judo for Officials!Chad Collins, General CounselKentucky High School Athletic Association Verbal Judo for Officials Chad Collins, Kentucky High School Athletic Association What is Verbal Judo?The Japanese wo
2 rd JUDOJU = gentleDO = wayIn hysical Jud
rd JUDOJU = gentleDO = wayIn hysical Judo, you use of the energy of others and redirect that energy to subdue or incapacitate.It is self defense!Simply put, “The Gentle Art of Persuasion” Verbal Judo for
3 Officials Chad Collins, Kentucky High Sc
Officials Chad Collins, Kentucky High School Athletic Association What Verbal Judo is not!It is not Verbal Karate! License to take or give verbal abuseLicense to disregard playing rules and or regulationsWe look to
4 praise without manipulation; speak with
praise without manipulation; speak with escalating; and criticize without devaluing Verbal Judo for Officials Chad Collins, Kentucky High School Athletic Association Who am I?Soccer OfficialAdministratorUSSF Certi
5 fied CoachFather / Husband / Son / Broth
fied CoachFather / Husband / Son / Brother Verbal Judo for Officials Chad Collins, Kentucky High School Athletic Association Who are you? Verbal Judo for Officials Chad Collins, Kentucky High School Athletic Associ
6 ation Why is any of that important?We a
ation Why is any of that important?We all where many different hats (some never come off) and recognizing that is the first step to better communication.These skills are applicable to all these roles, but we will f
7 ocus on officiating.3 overarching goals
ocus on officiating.3 overarching goals of Verbal Judo:afety;Enhance Professionalism; andIncrease proficiency…performance level. Verbal Judo for Officials Chad Collins, Kentucky High School Athletic Association
8 Who is an official? Verbal Judo for Of
Who is an official? Verbal Judo for Officials Chad Collins, Kentucky High School Athletic Association What is your most dangerous tool or weapon?For cops, it is not gun or a club, but a…And this will prevent
9 us from achieving our real goal of volu
us from achieving our real goal of voluntary compliance. Verbal Judo for Officials Chad Collins, Kentucky High School Athletic Association What is your most valuable tool or weapon?In one word….“To win a
10 hundred victories in 100 battles is not
hundred victories in 100 battles is not the highest skill. To subdue the enemy without fighting is the highest skill.” Verbal Judo for Officials Chad Collins, Kentucky High School Athletic Association The im
11 portance of AcknowledgmentI appreciate t
portance of AcknowledgmentI appreciate thatYes sirI got itThis begins to establish and illustrate empathy Verbal Judo for Officials Chad Collins, Kentucky High School Athletic Association Know your audience…Cu
12 ltural DifferencesSiouxNo eye contact bu
ltural DifferencesSiouxNo eye contact but for blood family or those being measured for the killAmericansOut of my face and out of my spaceEye ContactMiddle eastIf your not inside their personal space this is disresp
13 ectfulLoud! Verbal Judo for Officials Ch
ectfulLoud! Verbal Judo for Officials Chad Collins, Kentucky High School Athletic Association Know your audience…Cultural differences aside, people generally fit into 3 categories:Nice PeopleDifficult People (
14 WHY?)Wimps Verbal Judo for Officials Cha
WHY?)Wimps Verbal Judo for Officials Chad Collins, Kentucky High School Athletic Association 11 Things You Never Say to Anyone“Come here!”“You wouldn’t understand.”“Because those are t
15 he rules.”“Its none of your bu
he rules.”“Its none of your business.”“What do you want me to do about it?”“Calm down.”“What's your problem?”“You never…You always…”“I’m not
16 going to say this again.”“I&#
going to say this again.”“I’m doing this for your own good.”“Why don’t you be reasonable?” Verbal Judo for Officials Chad Collins, Kentucky High School Athletic Association 11 Th
17 ings You Never Say to AnyoneCome here =
ings You Never Say to AnyoneCome here = Go away!You wouldn’t understand = your stupidIts none of your business = I have lost control hereWhat do you want me to do about it? = I have lost control here Verbal Jud
18 o for Officials Chad Collins, Kentucky H
o for Officials Chad Collins, Kentucky High School Athletic Association 11 Things You Never Say to AnyoneCalm Down is a form of criticism What’s your problem? = I am never the problemYou never…You always
19 … (generalizations) Verbal Judo for
… (generalizations) Verbal Judo for Officials Chad Collins, Kentucky High School Athletic Association 11 Things You Never Say to AnyoneI’m not going to say this againI’m doing this for your own good
20 (pointless)Be reasonable = you are unrea
(pointless)Be reasonable = you are unreasonable Verbal Judo for Officials Chad Collins, Kentucky High School Athletic Association Verbal AbuseThe greatest abuse today is…verbal abuse Verbal Judo for Officials
21 Chad Collins, Kentucky High School Athle
Chad Collins, Kentucky High School Athletic Association Single most powerful word in the English language…EmpathyNot Sympathy Verbal Judo for Officials Chad Collins, Kentucky High School Athletic Association
22 Single most powerful word in the English
Single most powerful word in the English language…The key to success is staying calm in the midst of conflict, deflecting verbal abuse, and offering… empathy. Verbal Judo for Officials Chad Collins, Kentuc
23 ky High School Athletic Association The
ky High School Athletic Association The Greatest Speech You Will Ever Live To RegretSamurai state of mind = mushin= still centerClosest English word is disinterested Verbal Judo for Officials Chad Collins, Kentucky
24 High School Athletic Association The G
High School Athletic Association The Greatest Speech You Will Ever Live To Regret2 Principles for dealing with difficult people (taking abuse):Let the person say what he or she wants as long as they do what you sa
25 yFocus on behavior, not attitude!Always
yFocus on behavior, not attitude!Always look for winwin. Verbal Judo for Officials Chad Collins, Kentucky High School Athletic Association 5 Tools to gain Voluntary ComplianceLEAPS Verbal Judo for Officials Chad Co
26 llins, Kentucky High School Athletic Ass
llins, Kentucky High School Athletic Association Tool # 1 L istening Verbal Judo for Officials Chad Collins, Kentucky High School Athletic Association Tool #2 E mpathy Verbal Judo for Officials Chad Collins, Kentu
27 cky High School Athletic Association To
cky High School Athletic Association Tool # 3 A sking Verbal Judo for Officials Chad Collins, Kentucky High School Athletic Association Tool # 4 P araphrasing Verbal Judo for Officials Chad Collins, Kentucky High
28 School Athletic Association 14 Benefits
School Athletic Association 14 Benefits of Paraphrasing:Set the hook;Taken control;Check for understanding;Allows correction;Makes a better listener;Create empathy (other);Gained attention;Overcomes sonic intention
29 ;Opportunity to clarify (other);Prevents
;Opportunity to clarify (other);Prevents metaphrasing;Allows for reverse paraphrasing;Allows you to clarify;Encourages fair play;Allows you to focus (real issue). Verbal Judo for Officials Chad Collins, Kentucky Hig
30 h School Athletic Association Tool # 5
h School Athletic Association Tool # 5 S ummarizing Verbal Judo for Officials Chad Collins, Kentucky High School Athletic Association Judo v. KarateIf Judo is the gentle way…Caution Too aggressive and burns b
31 ridges Verbal Judo for Officials Chad Co
ridges Verbal Judo for Officials Chad Collins, Kentucky High School Athletic Association The 5 Phases of Voluntary ComplianceAskSet ContextPresent OptionsConfirmAct Verbal Judo for Officials Chad Collins, Kentucky
32 High School Athletic Association 3 Grea
High School Athletic Association 3 Great Communication ArtsRepresentation (contact)Translation Mediation (options) Verbal Judo for Officials Chad Collins, Kentucky High School Athletic Association Why is this so d
33 ifficult? (taking verbal abuse)You can l
ifficult? (taking verbal abuse)You can learn to take more verbal abuse if you begin to see yourself as a professional who treats others with dignity and respect.You are dealing with 6 people… Verbal Judo for Of
34 ficials Chad Collins, Kentucky High Scho
ficials Chad Collins, Kentucky High School Athletic Association ConsiderAvoid the inner voiceValue of PersonalizationNever underestimate the power of praise Verbal Judo for Officials Chad Collins, Kentucky High Sch
35 ool Athletic Association The Power of P
ool Athletic Association The Power of PraiseBe specificBe aware of surroundingsIf necessary, criticize first, then praise. Why? Verbal Judo for Officials Chad Collins, Kentucky High School Athletic Association Thi
36 s is no place for ANGER!Never mix emotio
s is no place for ANGER!Never mix emotion and punishment.Caution…Verbal abuse Verbal Judo for Officials Chad Collins, Kentucky High School Athletic Association Take Aways….Spirit of the law versus letter
37 of the law…3 overarching goals of
of the law…3 overarching goals of Verbal Judo…5 Tools to gain voluntary complianceMost important tool… Verbal Judo for Officials Chad Collins, Kentucky High School Athletic Association Additional R
38 esources…Verbal Judo, The Gentle Ar
esources…Verbal Judo, The Gentle Art of Persuasion, George J. ThompsonGetting to Yes, William l. UryYour sports playing rules! Verbal Judo for Officials Chad Collins, Kentucky High School Athletic Association