Spiritual Abuse and Toxic Systems - PowerPoint Presentation

Spiritual Abuse and Toxic Systems Therapeutic and Congregational Interventions Diane M. Langberg, PhD Philip G. Monroe, PsyD

Slides here: philipmonroe.com

Objectives Common features of toxic spiritualityImpact of spiritual abuse Clinician interventions

Prelude 2 cases

Spiritual Abuse What is it? Why is it so harmful?

Spiritual Abuse Defined The use of faith, belief, and religious practice to coerce, control, or damage another

Robbery wrapped up as a Gift Speaking falsely for GodDoctrine twistingEnds justifying meansPastoral care for personal gain

All Abuse leads to… Spiritual abuse

What is a system? What: Parts forming a complex organism How: Standing together Why: For the good of the whole

Toxic system Deception The stated purpose is not the governing one

Characteristics Going deeper: Individual and system examples

Key Ingredients Scripture or spiritual teachingsAuthority evoked to controlDeception

Individual Acts

Sidebar 1: Conflict vs. Abuse? Is there empathic listening?Whose needs are primary?Do these exist:Focus on outcomes alone Power used to end conversations, assign blame

Systemic spiritual Abuse Organization is main concernDemanding obedienceFailure is always applied to the weaker party Empathy expected from lesser power to greater power; not from high to low Leader criticism is rebellion against God Individuals are expendable

“Do you See me?” Example Rape victim at a Christian college Disciplined for failing to submit to the schools plan Not report to police Go to counseling with the rapist Sit in church with the rapist http://www.marcipreheim.com/2017/09/18/do-you-see-me/

Systemic evil Requires: AuthorsObedient guardsMinor leaders who look away Intentionally naïve populace Adapted from Tim Keller

How it Happens Latency—Abuse suspected but concealedActivation —Publically known; Institutional protection prioritized; Calculated lying Amplification —Institutional responses to accusations of institutional failure

Systemic evil requires: Narcissistic SystemsAbdicates power to leaderAbandons critical thinking Success interpreted though leader success

Is This Organization Narcissistic? Leader FeaturesExudes god-like statusDoes not share power or glorySurrounded by “yea- sayers ” Unwilling to tolerate disagreement Likely to scapegoat or pass blame Unwilling to consult with others Prone to cruel, abusive, intimidating attacks

High v. low power Individuals Fewer social constraints and fewer consequencesMiss emotions of othersLess distress when others are distressed Stereotype more Resource rich Freely state ideas Greater social constraints and threats Assimilate to higher power person’s affect Listener distress increases More likely victim of bullying Vigilant in social settings Inhibit sharing of ideas

Is This Organization Narcissistic? Organization featuresConstituents seek self-esteem/identityLove of organization is highest priority Inability to assess own weaknesses Encourages spiritual abuse

Why manipulation over ministry? FearEgo; Love of powerEfficiencyHabit

Questions for Systems Conflict handled?Truth decided?Who has authority?Care for the vulnerable? How is God’s name used? Comparison with other groups? Individuals silenced? How is anger and criticism handled?

Q & A

Impact? Interior and exterior silence

Church PTSD? http://www.patheos.com/blogs/jesuscreed/2014/03/01/the-other-side-of-the-donald-miller-post-church-ptsd/ What if I WANT the community and the bumping up against different people with different opinions, but I CAN’T, I mean physically CAN’T go?  I have usually discovered in life that if I have a feeling, I’m not the only one.  So it makes me think there must be others out there like me. What do I mean by “physically unable”?  I shake, I cry uncontrollably, my skin crawls, I am unable to speak.  It’s pretty difficult to be a part of a community, broken or not, with all of that going on .

Church PTSD? Honestly, I have something akin to a PTSD (not to take away from anyone who actually has full-blown PTSD) when it comes to church.  When I hear people talking in Christian catch phrases I want to run away.  This is the language of the culture of people who persecuted and bullied my family and me.  If you speak their language, you must be one of them, too.  So I stay away.

Church PTSD? There is a culture of acceptance in the church today that allows for people to be treated terribly under the umbrella of it being what is “best for the church”.  I would imagine that if a teacher was abusing children in the toddler department or if there were drunken parties going on at youth group there would be some type of outrage, as there should be.  But somehow just plain being “mean” doesn’t garner any type of outrage.  “It’s not ideal, but we are fallen people, after all, so you can’t expect anything better.” Cited at: https://philipmonroe.com/2014/03/04/can-you-have-church-ptsd /

Scriptural Foundations Reorienting to TRUTH; Good power?

Key Passages Proverbs 4:23Matthew 15:19John 2:24Proverbs 1:18-19 Jeremiah 7:4

Such a thing as Good power? Human power is derivativeHeld with great humilityReflects character of GodAlways blesses those with less power

Interventions From the inside, toward the system

From the inside of a system ValidateRaise questionsSay “ouch”

Work towards prevention Teach to listen to the inner voiceEducateGodly power and its counterfeitsAcknowledge power; assess danger zones Empower congregants to speak up

Want to avoid Spiritual Abuse? Study the character and leadership of ChristIdentify risk factorsIdentify core values to shape responsesDevelop continuous assessment and learning Review difficult cases; seek external feedback

Clinical interventions

Questions: What is the primary goal and/or intervention strategy for the clinician with a victim of spiritual abuse? What are the potential pit-falls the clinician will encounter?

Reminders Reverse abuse dynamicsPay attention to your powerFollow basic abuse interventionsSafety, meaning remaking, reconnection

Q & A

Slides here: philipmonroe.com

More Resources Dianelangberg.com