replied my guide; now. Weve been working away pretty hard at things w - PDF document

replied my guide; now. Weve been working away pretty hard at things while youbeen asleep. Weve just got this earth about perfect now, I shouldsay. Nobody is allowed to do anything wrong or silly; and as forWe walked out into the city. It was every clean and very quiet.other at right angles, and all presented exactly the same appearance.ducted by electric cars. All the people that we met wore a quietthe idea that they were all members of the same family. Everyonewaist by a belt. Each man was clean shaven, and each man hadTwins! Good gracious, no! answered my guide. Whatever I replied; explained my com-panion: ve all got black hair. If a mans hair is not black I asked.Why! retorted the old gentleman, somewhat irritably. Why, Ithought you understood that all men were now equal. What wouldcarrots? Men have not only got to be equal in these happy days,but to look it, as far as can be. By causing all men to be clean I asked. he replied, raising his hat and loweringWe walked further, and passed more men. I said:Women! exclaimed my guide. Of course there are. We I observed; he said, drawing my attention to a I asked.How very simple, I remarked. I suppose after a little practice he replied, We walked on in silence for a while. And then I said: answered my companion.Oh! there was so much inequality in names. Some people wereAt first, yes. But, with the abolition of wealth, numbers losthot and dirty. I said:No; we are not allowed to wash ourselves. You must wait until washed! I cried. Who by?equality when people were allowed to wash themselves. SomeDirty. All the old class prejudices began to be revived. The cleandespised the dirty, and the dirty hated the clean. So, to end dissen-shape. Occasionally, at a corner, we came across a smaller build-You do ask silly questions; upon my word, you do. Where doThats just what Ive been trying to think. I dont see any not houses such as you are thinkingof. We are socialistic now; we live together in fraternity andequality. We live in these blocks that you see. Each block accom-modates one thousand citizens. It contains one thousand beds and bath-rooms and dressing-roomsin proportion, a dining-hall and kitchens. At seven oclock everymorning a bell is rung, and ever one rises and tidies up his bed. Atshaved and have their hair done. At eight oclock breakfast isserved in the dining-hall. It comprises a pint of oatmeal porridgeand half-a-pint of warm milk for each adult citizen. We are allstrict vegetarians now. The vegetarian vote increased enormouslythey have been able to dictate every election for the past fifty years. twice a week, and plum-duff on Saturdays. At five oclock there istea, and at ten the lights are put out and everbody goes to bed. Weapothecary all together in fraternity and liberty. The men live in I asked. he replied; marriage two hundred years ago. You see, married life did notwork at all well with our system. Domestic life, we found, wasthoroughly anti-socialistic in its tendencies. Men thought more oftheir wives and families than they did of the State. They wished tothan for the good of the community. They cared more for the fu-ture of their children than for the Destiny of Humanity. The ties ofin one great whole. Before considering the advancement of thehuman race, men considered the advancement of their kith and kin.them. In secret, men and women hoarded up and laboured andjoy to their beloved. Love stirred the vice of ambition in menhearts. To win the smiles of the women they loved, to leave aupon the dusty high-way of the age. The fundamental principles ofSocialism were being daily thwarte and contemned. Each housepersonality. From the warmth of each domestic hearth grew up theThe doctrines of equality were openly disputed. Men, whenand hardly took any pains to disguise their opinion. Loving wivesother men. Mothers laughed at the idea of their children being inno way superior to other children. Children imbibed the hideousour foe. One man had a charming wife and two sweet-tempered where was the equality?and sorrow are known, Equality cannot live. One man and woman,in the night, stand weeping beside a little cot. On the other side ofat the silly antics of a grace-faced, gurgling baby. What is poorSuch things could not be allowed. Love, we saw, was ourenemy at every turn. He made equality impossible. He broughtjoy and pain, and peace and suffering in his train. He disturbed I ask the question how do you keep up theOh, thats simple enough. How did you, in your day, keep upthe supply of horses and cows? In the spring, so many children,under medical supervision. When they are born, they are takenteen. They are then examined by State-appointed inspectors, whothey are thereupon apprenticed. At twenty they take their rank ofcitizens, and are entitled to a vote. No difference whatever is madebetween men and women. Both sexes enjoy equal privileges.street after street of these huge blocks. I said:No, he replied. What do we want with shops and stores?dresses us, cuts our corns, and buries us. What could we do withI began to feel tired with our walk. I said:He said: drink! Whats a drink? We have half-a-pint ofcocoa with our dinner. Do you mean that?noticed that he had one arm. I had noticed two or three ratherand it struck me as curious. I remarked about it to my guide.equal; we lop him down a bit, as it were. Nature, you see, is some-Well not altogether, he replied. We only wish we could. he added afterwards, with pardonable pride, How about an exceptionally clever man. What do you do with heanswered. We have not come across anything dangerous in theshape of brain-power for some considerable time now. When we mused the old gentleman, sometimes, instead of always le-You seem very cock-sure about the matter, I retorted. Why right? I asked. he answered.They! he replied, evidently astonished at the question. Oh, he answered.Yes; most of our people do. They seem to think it more con- I urged,before I went to bed. There were great green trees, and grassy,at right angles to each other. There is no beauty in the countrynow whatever. We have abolished beauty; it interfered with ourequality. It was not fair that some people should live among lovelyscenery, and other upon barren moors. So we have made it all I asked; other country would do. replies my companion; he? All lands are exactly the same. The whole world is all oneIs there no variety, no change anywhere, I asked. What doyou do for pleasure, for recreation? Are there any theatres?No, responded my guide. We had to abolish theatres. Theciples of equality. Each actor thought himself the best actor in the I answered, he replied, up. Besides, our White Ribbon Vigilance Society said that allWell, he answered, there are not many written. You see, except, of course, the Destiny of Hu- I said, sics? You had Shakespeare, and Scott, and Thackeray, and therewere one or two little things of my own that were not half-bad.Oh, we have burned all those old works, he said. They wereequality. They made men think, and the men that thought grewgames permitted. Sports and games caused competition, and com- he answered; Ah! that is just what I was coming to, I remarked. NowAnd what do you understand by it? What the Destiny of why to to go on being like we are now, only more everybody more equal, and more things done by electricity,Thank you. That will do. Is there anything else that you thinkof? Have you got a religion? You donOh, no. This is all part of my three hours labour for theOh, Im glad of that. I should not like to feel that I was en-I looked at the faces of the men and women that were passing.There was a patient, almost pathetic, expression upon them all. IAll at once I remembered. It was just the quiet, troubled, won-Strange! how very dim and indistinct all the faces are around me! hark! surely that is the voice of Mrs. Biggles, my old land-lady. Has she been asleep a thousand years, too? She says it is only twelve? and Ipast four; and I do feel so stuffy and hot, and my head is aching.Hulloa! why, Im in bed! Has it all been a dream? And am I backbattle. Men are fighting, striving, carving out each man his ownlife with the sword of strength and will. Men are laughing, griev- falling, living! work to do I had spent an extremely interesting evening. I had dined withClub”. We had had an excellent dinner: the pheasant, stuffed with THE NEW UTOPIAJEROME K. JEROME ISSN 0267 677X ISBN 0 948317 71 X