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Crucial Conversations<br>
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“Root cause of many human problems lies in how people behave when others disagree with them about high-stakes emotional issues”
20 years of research
100,000 people
17 different organizations
Get stuff done AND build relationship Crucial Conversation’s Claim<br>
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What’s a Crucial Conversation?<br>
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“Hey Boss, I know we send Faculty Letters 1 week before classes start. But that’s not enough led time. Can we send Faculty Letters 1 month before classes start?” Crucial Conversation: Faculty Letters<br>
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2 options (often both bad)
“Or” Thinking What is the Fool’s Choice?<br>
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1 week notice is right (Boss)
1 month notice is right (Krista) Krista’s Fool’s Choice<br>
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Meaning = opinions, feelings, theories, experiences
More information available to everyone involved, better decisions are made Pool of Shared Meaning<br>
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Faculty will forget or lose the email.
Faculty will ask too many questions too early.
Avoid making an exception to a procedure for a few accommodations. Boss Faculty are frustrated that they were not told earlier about accessible media (documents, video, audio).
Conversion takes a lot of time (100 pgs/hr for non-STEM and 10 pgs/hr for STEM). Krista Pools of Shared Meaning<br>
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Know what you want
What do I really want for myself?
What do I really want for others?
What do I really want for the relationship? Start With Heart<br>
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What do I really want for myself?
Want more time to convert materials.
What do I really want for others?
To receive quality materials.
What do I really want for the relationship?
Maintain a great working relationship. Start With (Krista’s) Heart<br>
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(Start with heart)
Clarify what you really want
Clarify what you don’t want
Present your brain with more complex problem by combining the two
Use AND instead of OR Refuse the Fool’s Choice<br>
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“Boss, I want to give faculty more notice so my team can provide quality materials to our students. I don’t want to make sending faculty letters unnecessarily uncomplicated. How do you think I can get the information I need sooner, and avoid the consequences that you forsee?” Krista Refusing Fools Choice<br>
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Moment conversation turns critical
Signs people feel unsafe
Mask
Avoid
Withdraw
Control
Label
Attack
Style Under Stress How to See (Pending) Problems<br>
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Don’t React
Don’t Argue
Don’t Reject
Don’t Push
Don’t Escalate Breakthrough Strategy<br>
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Board member: “Many of our membership have so many needs, we can’t address them all in our fall/spring conferences. And conferences are expensive.”
Krista: “Let’s use Zoom to provide more professional development opportunities for our statewide disability organization during the year.”
Board member: “No. Virtual meetings are always a pain. Something always goes wrong.” Crucial Conversation: Webinars<br>
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Distance yourself from natural impulses and emotions
Phone call
Bathroom
Step outside
Buy time to think
Pause
Rewind the tape
Ask for clarification Don’t React (Go to the Balcony)<br>
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“Let me check that I’m following. We’ve been discussing the need to provide more professional development opportunities for our membership. I suggested using webinars. You suggested that webinars are not as effective as in-person meetings. Did I get that right?” Krista’s Go to the Balcony<br>
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Listen to their grievance
“Yes, please go on.”
“Then what happened?”
Paraphrase, ask for corrections
Acknowledge their point/feelings
Project confidence
Agree where you can
Accumulate yeses Don’t Argue (Step to their Side)<br>
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“Can you share with me your reservations?”
“Agreed, sometimes it can be frustrating to ensure that the microphone and camera are set up properly. That happened to me 2 weeks ago.”
“Yes, I agree that face-to-face interaction is often easier than using technology.” Krista’s Step To Their Side<br>
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“That’s interesting. Why do you want that? Help me understand the problem you are trying to solve.”
Ask
Why
Why Not
What If?
What Makes That Fair?
For Their Advice Don’t Reject (Reframe)<br>
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“I’d love to hear your thoughts. We discussed that our membership needs more professional development. We also discussed that more conferences is likely not financially feasible. How can we provide more opportunities and be respectful of member’s concerns about using technology and their budgets?” Krista’s Reframe<br>
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Resistance
Not their idea
Unmet interests
Fear of losing face
Too much too fast
Reframe a retreat from their position as an advance towards a better solution Don’t Push (Build a Golden Bridge)<br>
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“What do you think of this? Perhaps starting with Zoom webinar technology is too much. What about using phones for a voice conferencing session?” Krista’s Golden Bridge<br>
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Let them educate themselves
“What do you think will happen if we don’t agree?”
“What do you think I will do?”
“What will you do?” Don’t Escalate (Use Power To Educate)<br>
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“If you don’t think voice conferencing on the phone is a viable option, and using Zoom is not appealing, what do you think will happen if we don’t find some way to provide more professional development to our membership?” Krista’s Power to Educate<br>
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Conflict is an inevitable – and useful – part of life.
Few injustices are addressed without serious conflict.
In the form of business competition, conflict helps create prosperity. Getting to Yes Truth’s<br>
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Challenge is not to eliminate conflict but to transform it.
No to destructive, adversarial battling
Yes to hard-headed, side-by-side problem-solving Getting to Yes Goal<br>
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Positional vs Principled Negotiating 1<br>
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Positional vs Principled Negotiating 2<br>
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Positional vs Principled Negotiating 3<br>
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Did a pilot with a remediation tool 1.5 years ago
Tool has improved
Looking to bring to UW
Concerned about cost
Academic Experience Design and Delivery, Disability Services, Accessible Technology Services in IT Crucial Conversation: Buy Remediation Tool<br>
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Positional vs Principled Negotiating part 1<br>
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Positional vs Principled Negotiating part 2<br>
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Positional vs Principled Negotiating part 3<br>
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What did you learn?
What are you willing to do differently?
What will you start (or stop) doing on Monday? So What?<br>
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Thank you!Krista Greeargreeark@uw.eduhttps://translator.microsoft.com/<br>