Hosted by: End Domestic Abuse Wisconsin - PowerPoint Presentation

1. Hosted by: End Domestic Abuse WisconsinIn Partnership with: WI Department of Children and FamiliesWith:Kathy Flores, Diverse & Resilient Statewide LGBTQ Room to Be Safe Anti-Violence Program ManagerAnd guests: Sharon Lewandowski, Department of Children & Families Courtney Olson, Rainbow House Domestic Abuse ServicesWelcoming LGBTQ+ Survivors with Open Hearts & Open Doors in Shelter

2. 2Our mission is to achieve health equity and improve the safety and well-being of LGBTQ people and communities in Wisconsin.Who is Diverse & Resilient?

3. 3Room to Be Safe

4. 4CONTACT INFORMATION:(414) 856-LGBT (5428)www.roomtobesafe.orgLGBTQ Support via PhoneSafety PlanningCo-Advocacy with ProgramsResourcesReferralWhat the Room to Be Safe Resource Line Provides:

5. A note about languageThis is not an LGBTQ+ 101For more on Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer + identities, see previous required webinars at https://www.endabusewi.org/for-advocates/webinars/5

6. 6Gender Identity: A person’s internal, deeply held sense of one’s own gender.Gender Expression: Gender as presented through one's name, pronouns, clothing, haircut, behavior, voice, or other characteristics. Understanding Gender Identity and Expression (1)

7. 7Transgender: A term for people whose gender identity and gender expression is different from those typically associated with their assigned sex at birth.Gender Nonconforming: Refers to people who do not follow other people’s ideas or stereotypes about how they should look or act based on the female or male sex they were assigned at birth.Understanding Gender Identity and Expression (2)

8. 8QTPOC: Queer & Transgender People of ColorCisgender: A term for people whose gender identity and gender expression aligns with those typically associated with their assigned sex at birth.Understanding Gender Identity and Expression (3)

9. GenderIt is important to remember that we cannot ‘figure out’ how someone identifies just by looking at them.→We have been taught to rely on stereotypes to help us identify if someone is a part of the LGBTQ+ community.Financial Resources and Privilege for Trans and GNCGender identity and sexual orientation are beneath the surface9

10. 10“From which of the following would you feel most comfortable seeking services for victims of intimate partner violence?”Pridefest 2019 Survey Data by Diverse & Resilient 951 LGBTQ+ Survey Respondents2019 Milwaukee Pridefest Survey Data Overall violence:79% reported experience one or more type of violenceTypes of violence (people picked one or more of the following):49% Online Harassment34% Hate Violence34% Sexual Violence26% Intimate Partner Violence27% Stalking12% Hookup Violence11% Financial Abuse

11. 11In 2019, there have already been 11 homicides of Transgender Women of Color.In 2017, of all the transgender people killed, 87% were transgender women, 95% were Transgender Women of ColorCrisis for Trans Women of Color

12. 12Timothy Theis, 37January 11, 2019West AllisIPVEx-BoyfriendJohn Likeness, 54Dec. 30, 2018MenomonieIPV“Common Law Husband”Mark Batory, 54August 20, 2018WauwatosaIPVEx-boyfriendLives lost to IPV Homicide: 6 (5 victims, 1 murder suicide offender)Victims were 4 gay men, 1 lesbian womanIn WisconsinJason Killps, 36November 30, 2018KenoshaPossible Hookup/boyfriend according to pressCassandra Steward, 53June 2, 2019MilwaukeeIPVPartner

13. 13Employment discrimination State laws, local protections = uneven, unequal messagesPrograms designed for heterosexual, cisgender womenPoor screening allowing abusers to access shelter creating conflicts of interest for survivor and LGBTQ+ community. Structural Barriers for LGBTQ+ Survivors (1)

14. 14Support groups designed for heterosexual, cisgender women.Survivor having to educate providers about their identity Agencies not being public about support; not being at LGBTQ+ identified spaces.Structural Barriersfor LGBTQ+ Survivors (2)

15. 15Fear of being out/outed.The myth prevails that LGBTQ relationship violence is “mutual”Structural Barriers for LGBTQ+ Survivors (3)

16. 16Living in a homophobic, biphobic, transphobic, and heterosexist society creates a different context for violence.Within the LGBTQ community, support may not exist.Structural Barriers for LGBTQ+ Survivors (4)

17. 17Not wanting to bring shame onto communityLGBTQ communities are surprisingly smallStructural Barriers for LGBTQ+ Survivors (5)

18. 18Intersections & Gender Identity

19. 19Stonewall. A riot against police that pushed the LGBTQ movement forward. Social services, law enforcement etc.911 Being a Number 1 Safety Tip:→ Homophobia, transphobia, racism and sexism and other oppression might mean this is not an option for the survivorBut if we treat everyone the same, isn’t that equal? One example: Police…

20. 20From Network/laRedOpening our minds, hearts, & doors

21. Assessing your agencyThis is a more thorough look at your inclusivity within your agency.We recommend: “Open Minds Open Doors” workbook assessment tools: http://www.ncdsv.org/images/TheNetworkLaRed_OpenMindsOpenDoors_2010.pdf 21

22. 22Adapted from Network/laRedLGBTQ Education

23. 23Adapted from Network/laRedCollaborations with LGBTQ & Ally Orgs (1)

24. 24Adapted from Network/laRedCollaborations with LGBTQ & Ally Orgs (2)

25. 25Adapted from Network/laRedPolicies

26. 26Adapted from Network/laRedWelcoming

27. 27Adapted from Network/laRedRespondingAdvertising in LGBTQ media & LGBTQ community spacesSpeaking about LGBTQ survivors in public settingsAttending LGBTQ eventsPartnering on projects Media

28. 28Affirming identity:NameNot “legal name” or “preferred name”Gender:________or________Pronouns: Example: Myname is Kathy and I useShe/Her/Hers pronouns Not “preferred pronouns”Intake

29. 29Adapted from Shelter Access Toolkit by The NetworkUse the term “Survivors” rather than “women” when referring to people you serve. Use a variety of pronouns.Use the term “partner” or “abusive partner” rather than man, boyfriend, batterer, etc. Use a variety of pronouns.How to be welcoming through your words

30. 30Adapted from Shelter Access Toolkit by The NetworkProvide a variety of support groups that include all communities.Create residential rooms that can be connected or separated. Use your existing space creatively so LGBTQ+ people are not excluded. Provide gender inclusive bathrooms How to be welcoming through your space (1)

31. 31Adapted from Shelter Access Toolkit by The NetworkConsider ways you can communicate with residents that you are inclusive, beginning at intake. Discuss non-discrimination policy with all new residents. If residents say or do something homophobic, transphobic or racist, address the issue.How to be welcoming through your space (2)

32. 32Adapted from Shelter Access Toolkit by The NetworkPower & Control assessmentPhysical: Assess the impact. Is this self-defense? Who has injuries?Emotional: Whose world is getting smaller? Who is feeling more isolated? Who feels more responsible/guilty?Economic Violence: Who has control of finances? Are they used as power and control?Sexual: Who controls decisions around sex? Does one feel coerced? Does one have sex with partner in order to avoid conflict? Assessment on Predominant Aggressor

33. 33Adapted from Shelter Access Toolkit by The NetworkContext: Is the coercive or aggressive behavior about trying to survive or about trying to control?Effect: How did the behavior affect the person you are talking to?Intent: It isn’t about figuring out who did what to whom, it is about determining which person is exercising systemic power and control over the otherDo not ask why.Ask what, who, how, where, when

34. 34In partnership with avp.orgGet a general sense of the relationship and what brought the person to us for support.These questions can help build trust and alliance with the survivor:Could you tell me about your relationship?Did something in particular happen that made you come to/contact us now?What is/are your concerns?General Screening Questions (1)

35. 35In partnership with avp.orgHave either you or your ex-partner/s used our services before?Not a “screen out” question, but the answers here are telling. Let’s discuss:Are they defensive?Do they say “yes, my ex went there once, but they are crazy and off their meds and lied about me abusing them”General Screening Questions (2)

36. 36In partnership with avp.orgAsk for examples:Would you mind sharing with me examples of _____?We are looking for patterns in the behavior.“How often do you feel this happens?”Getting more specific

37. 37In partnership with avp.orgAre you able to be fully yourself with this person (gender and sexuality)?Are you able to work? Is your ex/partner able to work? Are you “out” about your gender identity and/or sexual orientation at work?How is immigration status or race spoken about or used in the relationship? Entitlement(based on race, education, economic justice, citizenship, etc.)

38. 38In partnership with avp.orgI can contact friends and familyI can contact friends, family, service providers, employers, etc.Friends and family visit meI feel isolated or lonelyIsolation

39. 39In partnership with avp.orgWhat led you to reach out for support?Do you feel able to do things without your ex/partner?Do you feel like you have control over your life decisions?Do you feel able to visit friends or family? (planned or unplanned visits)Do you feel able to make financial decisions?Who makes the financial decisions?Agency(ability to make decisions for oneself)

40. 40In partnership with avp.orgIs there a time when you feel your ex/partner’s behavior changed (and it feels unsafe or uncomfortable)?How many times a day does your ex/partner check in? Does it affect your day?What does it feel like when you or your partner/ex-partner gets angry? Do you feel like your ability to decide what you want/want to do/options is/are getting bigger or smaller?Effects/Consequences (of behavior)

41. 41In partnership with avp.orgHave you ever been or are you afraid of your ex/partner? If so:When was the first time you felt afraid?When was the last time you felt this way?Do you feel safe when your ex/partner is in your home/at home? If “no”: Is there anywhere that you do feel safe?Is there any other place that you feel unsafe?Fear/Dread(of being hurt or hurting someone else)

42. 42In partnership with avp.orgHave you ever felt or do you feel unsafe/uncomfortable/uneasy in your relationship? If so:When was the first time you felt unsafe/uncomfortable/uneasyWhen was the last time you felt this way?Fear/Dread (2)(of being hurt or hurting someone else)

43. 43In partnership with avp.orgHow would you define violence?Have you experienced violence in your relationship? If so:What was the most recent incident of violence?What was the worst incident of violence?Use of Violence

44. 44In partnership with avp.orgHave you felt the need to be violent? If so, what happened? Has your ex/partner ever forced you to have sex or engaged in unwanted sexual behavior?Use of Violence (2)

45. Interview with Courtney OlsonRainbow House-Marinette45

46. Resources for LGBTQ Survivors Diverse & Resilient statewide Room to Be Safe AVP: www.roomtobesafe.orgDiverse & Resilient main page: www.diverseandresilient.orgRainbow House, Marinette: https://therainbowhouse.us/NCAVP: www.avp.org/ncavp The Network/La Red: www.tnlr.org The Northwest Network: www.nwnetwork.org 46

47. Resources for inclusive gender imagesThe Gender Spectrum Collection: Stock Photos Beyond the BinaryThe Gender Spectrum Collection is a stock photo library featuring images of trans and non-binary models that go beyond the clichés. This collection aims to help media better represent members of these communities as people not necessarily defined by their gender identities—people with careers, relationships, talents, passions, and home lives.Make sure you read the guidelines and this is not for commercial use. https://broadlygenderphotos.vice.com/47

48. Books and publicationsFilm: Bruising for Besos (now available on Amazon)Surviving With Wild Tongues • Sobreviviendo Con Lenguas Indomables (YOUTUBE)Publication: Survived and Punished: Survivor Defense as Abolitionist Praxis (PDF at https://survivedandpunished.org/ )Queering Sexual Violence: Radical Voices from Within the Anti-Violence Movement by Jennifer PattersonFor many publication recommendates: The Clearinghouse for LGBTQ publications at Northwest Network https://www.nwnetwork.org/clearinghouse 48

49. Kathy FloresDiverse & ResilientLGBTQ Statewide Program Manager Intimate Partner Violencekflores@diverseandresilient.orgwww.roomtobesafe.org49

50. 50@endabuseWI@end.domestic.abuse.wiSocial MediaClick on the “Take Survey” circle to let us know how we did, what more you want to know, and anything else that would be helpful to share.Survey available at: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/LGBTQ2019feedbackFeedback Survey

51. 51www.diverseandresilient.org Diverse & Resilient608-255-0539End Domestic Abuse Wisconsin: The Wisconsin Coalition Against Domestic Violencewww.endabusewi.org | www.ncall.us | www.riselawcenter.org