COLLECTIVE GRIEF Exploring our losses - PowerPoint Presentation

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COLLECTIVE GRIEF

Exploring our losses

The discomfort you are feeling is

GRIEF

GRIEF is the conflicting feelings caused by a change or an end in a familiar pattern of behavior.

Another definition of

GRIEF:

GRIEF is love not ever ready to say goodbye

Earl

Grollman

We are experiencing

BOTH

individual and collective grief

We are grieving on a micro

ANDmacro level

LOTS of CHANGES

Whenever there is a change there is also a loss

We are experiencing societal

instability

There are

DIRECT

losses that are named and known. There are also INDIRECT losses that demand our attention

What needs to be named and surfaced

?

It is crucial, that in the current

moment, we:

1.

Identify and validate the losses we and others are experiencing in real time;

2. Recognize the grief responses we and loved ones are feeling; and

3.

Demonstrate care for ourselves and others

Right NOW, take a moment

to think about your own losses –

BIG and small

You may want to write them down or have a conversation about your losses

Types of Grief

Anticipatory

– worried about the future and the WORST that could happen

Disenfranchised

– when the loss or the griever are not acknowledged

Ambiguous

– when someone is not present but psychologically present

Children and Grief

Children are often overlooked

Children are NOT mini adults who grieve

Children grieve in spirts and throughout developmental stages

GRIEF is an extremely emotional experience

It does a number on your brain.

Grief is messy

Grief is front and center in your brain and your heart

TRAUMA

Trauma is unexpected

Trauma is unpredictable

Trauma is deeply distressing or disturbing

More about trauma

Traumatic events can include divorce, illness, accidents, a pandemic, grief and more extreme events

Addressing our trauma and grief

Name it to claim it

Feel it to heal it

People are afraid that feelings

will “gang up” on them

Let the feelings happen. Then you can move through them.

EMOTION needs motion! (David Kessler)

Grief Opportunities

Companioning

Reconciliation

Finding Meaning

Gratitude

It is absurd to think we shouldn’t

be feeling grief right now!

Let yourself feel it and keep going.

Help others identify their grief.

Then come to the present. Right now it’s okay. You have food. You’re not sick.

SELF CARE

CARE is both a noun and a verb;

it is not simply a feeling but also something we do.

HOW are YOU taking care of YOURSELF?

Keep a journal, Watch a funny movie,

Say “no,” Watch the sunrise or sunset, Write a

letter, Take a nap, Bake or cook something special, Soak in the tub, Sing, Have a good cry, Dance, go to bed early, Doodle, Daydream, Tell someone you love them, Do nothing, Go for a walk or a drive, Chalk up your driveway, Swing, Work on a puzzle, Garden, Take a virtual tour, Bicycle, Make a list of good things, Order food in, have a picnic, Snuggle, Gaze out the window, listen to the rain, Pray, Play a board game or cards, Blow bubbles, Call someone, Buy yourself flowers, Have breakfast in bed, Read

“Ultimately, if we are able to

recognize and share our emotional responses with one another, without fear of judgment, ranking, or disenfranchisement, we can combat

the emotional effects of isolation and instead, become a supportive and resilient community of grievers.”

Sarah Murphy

Some resources

www.tidesprogram.org

www.griefconnection

.org

www.janamariefoundation.org

www.kochfuneralhome.com