V Rev Fr George Morelli PhD MARRIAGE IS A DIVINE INSTITUTION CREATED BY GOD FROM THE BEGINNING SO GOD CREATED MAN IN HIS OWN IMAGE IN THE IMAGE OF GOD CREATED HE HIM MALE AND FEMALE CREATED HE THEM AND GOD BLESSED THEM AND GOD SAID UNTO THEM BE FRUITFUL AND MULTIPLY AND REPLENISH T ID: 816503
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Slide1
RAISING ORTHODOX CHILDREN IN A SECULAR WORLDV. Rev. Fr. George Morelli, Ph.D.
Slide2MARRIAGE IS A DIVINE INSTITUTION
CREATED BY GOD FROM THE BEGINNING: “SO GOD CREATED MAN IN HIS OWN IMAGE, IN THE IMAGE OF GOD CREATED HE HIM; MALE AND FEMALE CREATED HE THEM. AND GOD BLESSED THEM, AND GOD SAID UNTO THEM, BE FRUITFUL AND MULTIPLY, AND REPLENISH THE EARTH. [GEN 1: 27-28]
Slide3MARRIAGE CREATED BY GOD
“THEREFORE SHALL A MAN LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER, AND SHALL CLEAVE UNTO HIS WIFE: AND THEY SHALL BE ONE FLESH [GEN 2: 18-24]
Slide4ADAM AND EVE IN EDEN
Slide5OLD TESTAMENT
MARRIAGE IS THE IMAGE OF GOD’S FAITHFUL LOVE FOR ISRAEL
Slide6ISAIAH
54:5. FOR HE THAT MADE THEE SHALL RULE OVER THEE, THE LORD OF HOSTS IS HIS NAME: AND THY REDEEMER, THE HOLY ONE OF ISRAEL, SHALL BE CALLED THE GOD OF ALL THE EARTH. 54:6. FOR THE LORD HATH CALLED THEE AS A WOMAN FORSAKEN AND MOURNING IN SPIRIT, AND AS A WIFE CAST OFF FROM HER YOUTH, SAID THY GOD.
54:7. FOR A SMALL MOMENT HAVE I FORSAKEN THEE, BUT WITH GREAT MERCIES WILL I GATHER THEE.
Slide7JEREMIAH
3:1. IT IS COMMONLY SAID: IF A MAN PUT AWAY HIS WIFE, AND SHE GO FROM HIM, AND MARRY ANOTHER MAN, SHALL HE RETURN TO HER ANY MORE? SHALL NOT THAT WOMAN BE POLLUTED, AND DEFILED? BUT THOU HAST PROSTITUTED THYSELF TO MANY LOVERS: NEVERTHELESS RETURN TO ME, SAITH THE LORD, AND I WILL RECEIVE THEE.
Slide8EZECHIEL
16:52. THEREFORE DO THOU ALSO BEAR THY CONFUSION, THOU THAT HAST SURPASSED THY SISTERS WITH THY SINS, DOING MORE WICKEDLY THAN THEY: FOR THEY ARE JUSTIFIED ABOVE THEE, THEREFORE BE THOU ALSO CONFOUNDED, AND BEAR THY SHAME, THOU THAT HAST JUSTIFIED THY SISTERS.
16:58. THOU HAST BORNE THY WICKEDNESS, AND THY DISGRACE, SAITH THE LORD GOD.
16:59. FOR THUS SAITH THE LORD GOD: I WILL DEAL WITH THEE, AS THOU HAST DESPISED THE OATH, IN BREAKING THE COVENANT:
16:60. AND I WILL REMEMBER MY COVENANT WITH THEE IN THE DAYS OF THY YOUTH: AND I WILL ESTABLISH WITH THEE AN EVERLASTING COVENANT.
Slide9SACRAMENTS (MYSTERIES)
SACRAMENTS ARE OUTWARD SIGNS INSTITUTED BY CHRIST TO GIVE GRACEGOD TOUCHES, PURIFIES, ILLUMENS SANCTIFIES & DEIFIES HUMAN LIFE IN HIS UNCREATED DIVINE ENERGIES (CALIVAS)
Slide10SACRAMENTS (con’t)
“THEY ARE THE PATH WHICH CHRIST HAS MADE FOR US, THE DOOR HE HAS OPENED…IT IS BY PASSING AGAIN ON THIS PATH AND THROUGH THIS DOOR THAT HE RETURNS TO THE WORLD [NICHOLAS CABASILAS, 14TH CENTURY]
Slide11SACRAMENTS (con’t)
AFTER THE ASCENSION CHRIST RETURNS IN THE SACRAMENTAL ECONOMY OF THE HOLY SPIRITTHE SACRAMENTS ARE HISTORICALLY VISIBLE NOW AND REPLACE THE MIRACLES AT THE TIME OF THE INCARNATION [EVDOKIMOV]
Slide12ORTHODOX THEOLOGY OF MARRIAGE
HUMAN LOVE IS PROJECTED INTO THE KINDODOM OF GODST. CLEMENT OF ALEXANDRIA: “HOUSE OF GOD”: “I AM IN THE MIDST OF THEM” [MT 18:20]
Slide13ORTHODOX WEDDING CEREMONY
BETROTHALCROWNING
Slide14BETROTHALTHE EXCHANGE OF RINGS: BOTH ARE ABOUT TO ENTER MARRIAGE BY THEIR OWN VOLITION
AS THE CHURCH OFFERS BREAD AND WINE TO BECOME THE BODY AND BLOOD OF OUR LORD, THE RINGS SIGNIFY THE OFFERING OF ONE ANOTHER: FIDELITY
Slide15BETROTHAL PRAYER
“…ESTABLISH & MAKE THEM FIRM THEIR BETROTHAL, IN FAITH & IN ONENESS OF MIND, IN TRUTH & IN LOVE. FOR THOU, O LORD, HAST DECLARED THAT A PLEDGE SHOULD BE GIVEN AND CONFIRMED IN ALL THINGS. BY A RING DANIEL WAS GLORIFIED IN THE LAND OF BABYLON; BY A RING THE UPRIGHTNESS OF TAMAR WAS …………………………….
Slide16BETROTHAL PRAYER CON’T
REVEALED; BY A RING OUR HEAVENLY FATHER SHOWED HIS BOUNTY UPON HIS SON … BY THINE OWN RIGHT HAND, O LORD, THOU DIDST ARM MOSES IN THE RED SEA …& THE RIGHT HANDS OF THY SERVANTS ALSO SHALL BE BLESSED BY THY MIGHTY WORD AND BY THINE UPRAISED ARM …BLESS NOW THIS PUTTING ON OF RINGS …..
Slide17CHIEF PART OF THE RITEPLACING OF THE CROWNS
THE COMMON BLESSING OF BOTH:“O LORD OUR GOD, CROWN THEM WITH GLORY AND HONOR”:
“THE SERVANT OF GOD_______IS MARRIED TO THE HANDMAID OF GOD_______IN THE NAME OF THE FATHER AND OF THEE SON AND OF THE HOLY SPIRIT”
Slide18Slide19SIGNIFICANCE OF THE CROWNS
THE GRACE OF THE HOLY SPIRIT [EPICLISIS]JOY: THE COUPLE IN A SPIRIT OF LOVE IS UNITED FOR ETERNITY; TRANSFORM THEMSELVES INTO THE LIKENESS OF GOD BY EMMANUAL (GOD WITH US) [IS 7:14] ‘DANCE AROUND THE GOSPEL BOOK
MARTYRDOM: ENORMOUS SELF SACRIFICE: THE COUPLE BECOME MARTYRS IN THEIR OWN RIGHT
Slide20A PARADISIAC INSTITUTION
ANAMNESIS [CALLING TO MIND] MORE THAN A SIMPLE RECOLLECTIONDEUTRONOMY: 24:5. WHEN A MAN HATH LATELY TAKEN A WIFE, HE SHALL NOT GO OUT TO WAR, NEITHER SHALL ANY PUBLIC BUSINESS BE ENJOINED HIM, BUT HE SHALL BE FREE AT HOME WITHOUT FAULT, THAT FOR ONE YEAR HE MAY REJOICE WITH HIS WIFE.
Slide21ANAMNESIS CON’T
APOCALYPSE:19:9. AND HE SAID TO ME: WRITE: BLESSED ARE THEY THAT ARE CALLED TO THE MARRIAGE SUPPER OF THE LAMB. AND HE SAITH TO ME: THESE WORDS OF GOD ARE TRUE. ST JOHN CHRYSOSTOM: “THE WIFE BRINGS FULLNESS & UNENDING CONSOLATION TO THE HUSBAND
Slide22ANAMNESIS CON’T
CANA WEDDING FEAST: ST GREGORY OF NYSSA BRINGS A JOY NOT OF THIS WORLD A “SOBER INTOXICATION”ISAIAH: [IN MARRIAGE SERVICE]:61:10. I WILL GREATLY REJOICE IN THE LORD, AND MY SOUL SHALL BE JOYFUL IN MY GOD: FOR HE HATH CLOTHED ME WITH THE GARMENTS OF SALVATION: AND WITH THE ROBE OF JUSTICE HE HATH COVERED ME, AS A BRIDEGROOM DECKED WITH A CROWN, AND AS A BRIDE ADORNED WITH HER JEWELS. 62:5. FOR THE YOUNG MAN SHALL DWELL WITH THE VIRGIN, AND THY CHILDREN SHALL DWELL IN THEE. AND THE BRIDEGROOM SHALL REJOICE OVER THE BRIDE, AND THY GOD SHALL REJOICE OVER THEE.
Slide23MARRIAGE FEAST AT CANA
Slide24ORTHODOX MARRIAGE PRAYER
The Orthodox Wedding Ceremony. After praying that the servant and handmaiden be united by God, the priest continues: “Unite them in one mind and one flesh, and grant them fair children for education in thy faith and fear [acknowledging the awesome, transcendent God].
Slide25CHRIST’S COMMISSION TO MARRIED COUPLES
By their marriage Orthodox couple is ordained so to speak or commissioned to create an Orthodox home and family. This is the vocation of Orthodox marriage.
Slide26THE DOMESTIC CHURCH
”. The existence of a “home church” dating from apostolic times comes right from St. Paul. In his instruction to the Romans (16:3,5) he says: “Greet Prisca and Aquila, my fellow workers in Christ Jesus, … greet also the church in their house.” And to the Corinthians (16:19) he says: “The churches of Asia send greetings. Aquila and Prisca, together with the church in their house, send you hearty greetings in the Lord. “.
Slide27A COMMUNITYFAITH
HOPE CHARITY
Slide28COMMUNION OF PERSONS
A SIGN AND IMAGE OF THE COMMUNION OF FATHER, SON AND HOLY SPIRIT.REFLECTS THE FATHERS WORK OF CREATION
REFLECTS THE SONS WORK OF PRAYER AND SACRIFICE
REFLECTS THE HOLY SPIRIT WORK OF SANCTIFICATION OF EACH OTHER
Slide29HOW DOES MARRIAGE REFLECT THE FATHERS WORK OF CREATION?
Slide30HOW DOES IT REFLECT THE SONS WORK OF PRAYER AND SACRIFICE?
Slide31Slide32HOW DOES IT REFLECT THE HOLY SPIRIT WORK OF SANCTIFICATION?
Slide33EDUCATION IN THE FAITH AND FEAR OF GOD
COMMISION: BY WHAT WE DO AND SAYOMISSION: BY WHAT WE FAIL TO DO OR SAY
Slide34WHO DID JESUS TEACH?
ALL HIS MESSAGES WERE TO ADULTS
Slide35WHAT DID JESUS SAY OR DO CONCERNING CHILDREN?
10:13. AND THEY BROUGHT TO HIM YOUNG CHILDREN, THAT HE MIGHT TOUCH THEM. AND THE DISCIPLES REBUKED THEM THAT BROUGHT THEM 10:14. WHOM WHEN JESUS SAW, HE WAS MUCH DISPLEASED AND SAITH TO THEM: SUFFER THE LITTLE CHILDREN TO COME UNTO ME AND FORBID THEM NOT: FOR OF SUCH IS THE KINGDOM OF GOD. [MARK]
Slide36CONSEQUENCES OF FAILING THE MARRIAGE COMMISSION
MATTHEW18:6. BUT HE THAT SHALL SCANDALIZE ONE OF THESE LITTLE ONES THAT BELIEVE IN ME, IT WERE BETTER FOR HIM THAT A MILLSTONE SHOULD BE HANGED ABOUT HIS NECK, AND THAT HE SHOULD BE DROWNED IN THE DEPTH OF THE SEA.
Slide37DOMESTIC CHURCH LEADERS
Husbands, and wives, as such, and as fathers and mothers should exercise their role as the leaders of the “church at home”.
Slide38GOALS OF PARENTING
Increase appropriate behavior according to Orthodox Christian Values
Decrease inappropriate behavior that is contrary to Orthodox Christian Values
do this out of Christian Love (for the good and welfare of the child)
do this respecting the personhood of the child
Slide39PRAYING AND DOING
PRAY AS IF EVERYTHING DEPENDS ON GODWORK AS IF EVERYTHING DEPENDS ON YOUINTELLIGENCE without ANGER
"be wise as serpents and gentle as doves (Mat. 10:19).....without anger or contention (1Tim. 2:8)"
Slide40CHRIST'S LOVEIf I give away all I have, and if I deliver my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.
Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; (1 COR. 13: 3-5)
Slide41CHRIST’S WARNING"Whoever receives one such child in my name receives me; but whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a great millstone fastened round his neck and to be drowned in the depth of the sea.” (Mat. 18: 5-6)
Slide42PARENTAL SIN
COMMISSION: WHAT WE DOOMMISSION: WHAT WE FAIL TO DO
WE ARE MADE IN GOD’S IMAGE AND CALLED TO BE LIKE HIM
INTELLIGENCE: BEING SMART AND RATIONAL ABOUT WHAT WE SAY AND DO AND HOW WE LIVE OUR LIVES
FREE WILL: GOD GAVE US THE FREEDOM TO CHOOSE THE GOOD ----- WE ARE IN SLAVERY IF WE CHOOSE EVIL
PARENTING INTELLIGENCE
Slide43FOUNDATION OF ORTHODOX PARENTING
BASE PARENTING ON THE FULLNESS OF THE GIFT OF OUR ORTHODOX FAITHUSE COGNITIVE-BEHAVIORAL AND EMOTIONAL TECHNIQUES SHOWN TO BE SCIENTIFICALLY EFFECTIVE
Slide44BEHAVIORAL SEQUENCE
Behavioral Pinpointingdescribe what a person SAYS or DOES WHEN or WHERE
Slide45BEHAVIORAL PINPOINTING
describe what a person SAYS or DOES WHEN or WHEREDO NOT USE ABSTRACT TERMSHOSTILE
AGGRESSIVE
SICK
Slide46PROBLEMS WITH COMMUNICATION
ABSTRACT TERMS:
*OPEN TO ALTERNATIVE MEANINGS: HOSTILITY?:
NAME CALLING
HITTING
USE OF POISON
AVOIDLABELING:
*OPEN TO SURPLUS MEANINGS: SICK?: PHYSICAL, IN NEED OF HELP, MENTAL ILLNESS, POOR BEHAVIOR
Slide47BEHAVIORAL PINPOINTING
DESCRIBE WHAT A PERSON SAYS DOES
WHEN
WHERE
Slide48PINPOINTING EXAMPLS
INSTEAD OF:"JOHN IS HOSTILE"SAY
"JOHN KICKED MIKE WHILE STANDING ON THE LUNCH LINE AT SCHOOL"
INSTEAD OF:
"MARY IS AGGRESSIVE"
SAY
"MARY TOLD MIKE SHE HATES HIM AND WISHES HE WOULD DIE"
INSTEAD OF (LABELS):
"DID YOU SEE THE WAY CYNTHIA ACTED SHE IS SICK"
SAY
"CYNTHIA PUT CLEANING FLUID IN HER LITTLE BROTHER MIKE'S CEREAL THIS MORNING AT BREAKFAST“
Slide49SPEECH PRAGMATICS
Roger Brown of Harvard University found over 90% of the meaning in any communication is the ‘tone’ or way something is said … not the content itself
“SIT DOWN”
SAID
SOFTLY: SIT DOWN
SAID
HARSHLY: SIT DOWN
EXPLANATIONS MISS THIS DISTINCTION:
E.g. :I told Johnny to “do the dishes” and he got so angry
How was it really said:
“
do the dishes” or
“do the dishes”
Remember 90% of the meaning is in the TONE
Slide50LAW OF BEHAVIORBEHAVIOR IS SHAPED BY ITS CONSEQUENCES
Behavior ------------Consequences
Slide51THE FOUR CONSEQUENCES THAT SHAPE BEHAVIOR
POSITIVE REINFORCEMENTNEGATIVE REINFORCEMENTPOSITIVE PUNISHMENT
NEGATIVE PUNISHMENT
Slide52DEFINITIONS OF REINFORCEMENT AND PUNISHMENT
POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT: ADD A FAVORABLE (TO CHILD) CONSEQUENCE TO GET AN INCREASE IN BEHAVIOR
NEGATIVE REINFORCEMENT: SUBTRACT AN AVERSIVE (TO CHILD) CONSEQUENCE TO GET A DECREASE IN BEHAVIOR
POSITVE PUNISHMENT: ADD AN AVERSIVE (TO CHILD) CONSEQUENCE TO GET A DECREASE IN BEHAVIOR
NEGATIVE PUNISHMENT: SUBTRACT A FAVORABLE (TO CHILD) CONSEQUENCE TO GET A DECREASE IN BEHAVIOR
Slide53POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT (EXAMPLE-1)
BEHAVIOR: homeworkCONSEQUENCE:uses computer [Favorable to child]
increases homework BEHAVIOR
Slide54POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT (EXAMPLE-2)
BEHAVIOR: teases brotherCONSEQUENCE: yelled at [favorable to child]
Increases teasing behavior
Slide55NEGATIVE REINFORCEMENT (EXAMPLE-1)
BEHAVIOR: homeworkCONSEQUENCE: doesn't have to do dishes [favorable to child]
increases homework BEHAVIOR
Slide56NEGATIVE REINFORCEMENT (EXAMPLE-2)
BEHAVIOR: hits schoolmateCONSEQUENCE: school suspension [favorable to child]
Increases hitting schoolmates
Slide57NEGATIVE REINFORCEMENT (EXAMPLE-3)
BEHAVIOR: parent yells at childrenCONSEQUENCE: noise stops [favorable to parent]
increase in parental yelling BEHAVIOR
Slide58REINFORCEMENT SUMMARY
REINFORCEMENTS ARE PLEASANT [FAVORABLE] TO PERSON THEY ARE GIVEN TO AND THEY INCREASE BEHAVIORSPLEASANT: SMILE, MONEY, YELLING, GAMEPLAYING
BEHAVIORS: APPROPRIATE OR INAPPROPRIATE WILL INCREASE
Slide59POSITIVE PUNISHMENT (EXAMPLE-1)
BEHAVIOR: spills milkCONSEQUENCE: clean kitchendecrease in spilling BEHAVIOR
Slide60POSITIVE PUNISHMENT (EXAMPLE-2)
BEHAVIOR: does homeworkCONSEQUENCE: yelled at for appearancedecrease in homework BEHAVIOR
Slide61NEGATIVE PUNISHMENT (EXAMPLE-1)
BEHAVIOR: cleans dishesCONSEQUENCE: ignoreddecrease in cleaning BEHAVIOR
Slide62NEGATIVE PUNISHMENT (EXAMPLE-2)
BEHAVIOR: fights over TVCONSEQUENCE: turn off TVdecrease in fighting BEHAVIOR
Slide63WARNING! POSITIVE PUNISHMENT!
OFTEN MODELS INAPPROPRIATE BEHAVIOREVOKES EMOTIONAL AGITATION IN CHILD
TEMPORARY EFFECTS ONLY
Slide64RECOMMENDATION! POSITIVE PUNISHMENT
ONLY USE TO PREVENT IMMANENT HURT TO OTHERS OR PROPERTY---EXAMPLES:
BEHAVIOR: about to dart into street--------CONSEQUENCE: loud yell/hand clap
BEHAVIOR: about to hit---------CONSEQUENCE: loud yell/hand clap
Slide65WARNING! WHAT IS WRONG?:
MOM TO LITTLE GIRL: "OH, ALL RIGHT YOU CAN HAVE ONE MORE COOKIE, BUT THEN YOU MUST GO OUT TO PLAY
IT IS BACKWARDS:
MOTHER INADVERTENTLY REWARDED :::PROCRASTINATION and TAKING COOKIES
CORRECT SEQUENCE:
BEHAVIOR: homework--------CONSEQUENCE: cookie
NEVER! NEVER!
NEVER! NEVER!
WARNING!
Slide66WARNING!
NEVER GIVE A FAVORABLE CONSEQUENCE AS AN INCENTIVE BEFORE A BEHAVIOR IS ACCOMPLISHEDWARNING!
ALWAYS! ALWAYS!
ALWAYS! ALWAYS!
WARNING!
BE CONSISTENT
Slide67WARNING! BE CONSISTENT
CATCH THE CHILD BEING GOOD-REWARD100% OF THE TIME
CATCH THE CHILD BEING BAD-PUNISH
100% OF THE TIME
Slide68EMOTIONAL CONTROL
ALWAYS REWARD AND PUNISH UNEMOTIONALLYCOOLY
NICELY
Slide69KINDLINESS IS NEXT TO GODLINESS
He who is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who has a hasty temper exalts folly. (Pv 14: 29)A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. (Pv 15:1)
When the intelligence is truly operative,
we can properly be called human beings
(St. Anthony the Great, Philokalia I).
Slide70THE POWER OF SELF CONTROL
He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city. (Pv 16: 32)
A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man quietly holds it back. (Pv 29: 11)
Slide71CHRIST-LIKE PARENTING
You did not so learn Christ!-- …Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, with all malice, and be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. (Eph 4: 20,31-32)
Slide72EMOTIONAL LACK OF CONTROL
MODELING INAPPROPRIATE BEHAVIORPREVENT PROGRAM FROM WORKING
COGNITIVELY DISTRACTS CHILD TO HOW MEAN YOU ARE RATHER THAN ON RELATION BETWEEN BEHAVIOR AND CONSEQUENCES
COGNITIVELY DISTRACTS CARETAKER FROM CORRECT BEHAVIORAL TECHNIQUES
NOT ACTING LIKE CHRIST
Slide73Speech Pragmatics Reminder
90% of the meaning in any communication is in the tone of voice
Slide74ABC MODEL OF EMOTIONAL DISTURBANCE
A –Activating EventsB –Belief, Thought, (Cognitive Interpretation)
C –emotional Consequence
Slide75A -ACTIVATING EVENTS
ALL THINGS THAT OCCUR IN THE UNIVERSECHILD GETS "A" REPORT CARD
CHILD CALLS YOU A"@#$%“
Win the lottery
Loved one passes away
Get a promotion at work
House burns down
Slide76B-BELIEFS-COGNITIONS (about A)
IRRATIONALDEMANDING EXPECTATIONS:SHOULD MUST HAVE TOO OUGHT (NOT)
OVER EVALUATIONS: TERRIBLE AWFUL END OF THE WORLD MORE THAN 100% BAD
RATIONAL
REALISTIC EVALUATIONS: WOULD LIKE WOULD BE NICE (NOT)
REALISTIC EXPECTATIONS: LESS THAN 100% BAD
Slide77C-emotional CONSEQUENCES
DYSFUCTIONAL:ANGER ANXIETY DEPRESSION MANIAFUNCTIONAL: ANNOYANCE CONCERNED SORROWFUL HAPPY
Slide78D-DISPUTE
WHERE DOES IT SAY THAT?WHERE IS THE EVIDENCE?WHAT LAW IN THE UNIVERSE SAY'S? (Remember God made us with free will)
WAS I GIVEN A GUARANTEE?
Slide79CALMING TOOLS-CHALLANGING QUESTIONS
WHERE IN THE WORLD DOES IT SAY THAT?PREFERENCES VS DEMANDSIS THERE ANY OTHER WAY OF LOOKING AT IT?
LOOK FOR ALTERNATIVES
IS IT AS BAD AS IT SEEMS?
REALISTIC NOT OVEREVALUATIONS
Slide80CALMING TOOLS: THE MENTAL RULER
0 10 20 30 40 50 660 70 80 90 1000: The most pleasant thing you can think of in the sensory universe [concrete example]
100: The most unpleasant thing you can think of in the sensory universe [concrete example
Slide81BE EMOTIONALLY CALMANXIETY ------------------------- CONCERN
DEPRESSION -------------------- SADNESS
ANGER ------------------- ASSERTIVENESS
MANIA------------------------------HAPPINESS
Slide82THEMES OF DYSFUNCTIONAL EMOTIONS
ANGER-------------THREATDEPRESSION----LOSS
UNFAVORABLE VIEW OF
SELF
OTHER
FUTURE
ANGER-------------SIGNIFICANT INTRUSION
MANIA---------------SIGNIFICANT ENHANCEMENT
Slide83THREE DEADLY DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILY BELIEFS
ENTITLEMENTRECIPROCITY
NAGGING
Slide84ENTITLEMENT
You feel you deserve love, happiness, respect, because of your “title” (mother-father/husband-wife) and when people do not live up to your expectations you have the right to feel angry and taken advantage of.
Antidote: Preferences based on love and people’s freedom
Slide85RECIPROCITY
You feel you have the right to have others do for you if you have done something for them even if they never agreed or even knew about it ---a unilateral contractAntidote: be upfront tell people what you want if you want them to do something for you before you do something
Slide86NAGGING
You feel expressing persistent reminders is the best way to get others to do what you want – people in order to maintain control over their lives will frequently do the opposite of what you want
Antidote: After a single preplanned cue, giving people freedom to be part of the decision making process in their own behavior
Slide87CHILD ABUSEPHYSICAL
SEXUALPSYCHOLOGICALNEGLECT
Slide88BASIC PSYCHOLIGICAL PRINCIPLES
MODELINGREINFORCEMENT [REWARDING APPROPRIATE BEHAVIOR]PUNISHMENT [IGNORING INAPPROPRIATE BEHAVIOR OR GIVING, OR PREVENTING ACCESS TO A DESIRED ACTIVITY]
Slide89SPIRITUAL ROOTS
Man is by nature good : "God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them" (Genesis 1:27);
The Evil One
: In Greek,
diabolos
: divider separator, slander. St. John wrote that, "the devil has sinned from the beginning" (1 John 3:8).
Slide90MAN INFLUNENCED BY THE EVIL ONE CHOOSES SIN
The devil, on the other hand, is the source of disorder. The devil does not function as God's opposite, but only as a liar and destroyer - as one who distorts God's truth and violently deconstructs God's created order. In Greek, diabolos: divider separator, slander. St. John wrote that, "the devil has sinned from the beginning" (1 John 3:8).
Slide91MAN IN HIS BROKENNESS SUSCIPTAIBLE TO THE PASSIONS
St. Maximus the Confessor tells us: “The devil is both God’s enemy and His avenger (cf. Ps 8:2). He is God’s enemy when he seems in his hated for God somehow to have acquired a destructive love for us men, persuading us by means of sensual pleasure to assent to the passions within our control, and to value what is transitory more than what is eternal. (Philokalia, II p. 183).
Slide92MAN CHOOSES SIN
Satan argued that if they ate of the fruit they would " ... be as gods, knowing good and evil" (Genesis 3:7). We know our ancestors failed to obey and the entire material creation fell into disorder. The nature of their sin was that they looked to the creation rather than the Creator for the life (which includes knowledge and wisdom) that can only come from God. In the words of Bp. Hilarian Alfeyev: “evil entered the world not by the will of God but by fault of humans who preferred diabolical deceit to divine commandment. From generation to generation the human race repeats Adam’s mistake in being beguiled by false values and forgetting the true ones — faith in God and verity to Him.” (
http://en.hilarion.orthodoxia.org/5_1#PRIESTHOOD
)
Slide93PASSIONS INCLINATIONS TO SIN
PRIDE—EQUALITY WITH GODGREED---TREASURING THE WORLDLUST---WORSHIP OF SENSUAL PLEASURE
ANGER---VALUING SELF OVER OTHERS
GLUTTONY---LACK OF PROPER CARING FOR SELF
ENVY---JEALOUSLY OF GOD’S GIFTS TO OTHERS
SLOTH---LACK OF DUTY TO GOD AND MAN
Slide94Passions: The Inclinations to Sin
After the Fall we are predisposed to self-centered choices directed by the passions (lusts) rather than choices based on agape. St. Isaac of Syria tells us: ". . . pandering to the flesh, produce(s) in us shameful urges and unseemly fantasies" (Early Fathers from the Philokalia).
The passions spring from the heart of the person. Jesus told us: "For from within, out of the heart of man, come evil thoughts, fornication, theft, murder, adultery, coveting, wickedness, deceit, licentiousness, envy, slander, pride, foolishness. All these evil things come from within, and they defile a man" (Mark 7: 21-23).
Slide95PASSIONS: THE BROKENNESS & ILLNESS WE INHERIT
The brokenness we have inherited from Adam we experience as passions. Passions are defined as the inclinations to sin. St. Dorotheos wrote: "(Our passions) are ... those innate tendencies which lead us to evil. Sin is one thing but instinctive reaction or passion another. These are our reactions: pride, anger, sexual indulgence, hate, greed and so on. The corresponding sins bring into corporeal reality those works which were suggested to him by his innate desires arising,
but not giving way to them is by no means impossible
" (emphasis added). This last clause opens the doorway to spiritual hope.
Slide96SIN: MISSING THE MARKIn the Eastern Church, the word sin in the English language is the translation of the Greek New Testament word,
harmartia, which literally translated means “to miss the mark.” Evagrios the Solitary tells us this should be viewed as a “misuse [of] what God has created. (Philokalia I).
Slide97SIN: AN ILLNESS AND DISEASE
Slide98CONSEQUENCES OF PASSIONS AND BROKENNESS
Abortion, adultery, alcoholism, anger, bearing grudges, blasphemy (profane, impious reference or utterance about God,) child abuse (physical, psychological, sexual or neglect), contempt, disobedience (to Christ, His Church, legitimate authority), deceit, drug addiction, envy, evil speaking (talking about someone even if true), failure to forgive, failure to thank God for all things, fornication ("acting out" or "imaginary entertaining in thought" of sex outside of a blessed marriage), gay marriage, gossip, harshness, hating others, hypocrisy, idolatry (worship of self, other or objects - did we go to Church last Sunday or go golfing instead ... etc?), insider trading, kidnapping, kickbacks many politicians' favorite way of running government), lust, lying, negligence, not caring for the environment, not praying for those who have reviled us, pride, pre-emptive unjust warfare, rash judgment, smoking, spousal abuse, torturing and/or belittling prisoners, unforgiving, using others for money, power or sex.
Slide99PURPOSE OF LIFE
WHY DID GOD MAKE US?:TO KNOW, LOVE AND SERVE HIM AND BE HAPPY WITH HIM IN HEAVEN
“IN ORDER THAT, BY APPREHENDING GOD’S CREATURES, HE MIGHT CONTEMPLATE AND GLORIFY HIM WHO CREATED THEM FOR MANS SAKE [ST ANTONY THE GREAT 251-356]
Slide100SECULARISM
SEC·U·LAR·ISM (SµK“Y…-L…-R¹Z”…M) N. 1. RELIGIOUS SKEPTICISM OR INDIFFERENCE.
2.
THE VIEW THAT RELIGIOUS CONSIDERATIONS SHOULD BE EXCLUDED FROM CIVIL AFFAIRS OR PUBLIC EDUCATION.
--SEC“U·LAR·IST
N.
--SEC”U·LAR·IS“TIC
ADJ.
FROM “THE AMERICAN HERITAGE DICTIONARY”
Slide101SECULARISM, EVER PRESENT
AN INCREASINGLY SECULARIZED WORLD VIEW HAS COME TO DOMINATE EVERY PROFESSION, ACADEMIA AND, ESPECIALLY, MEDIA AND ENTERTAINMENT.
Slide102LUST: AN EXAMPLE OF SECULARISM
An example of how this works may aid our understanding. The demon of lust, the Church Fathers tell us, may take over our lives. Modern society facilitates this malady. Sex is broadcast everywhere for almost every use: art, fashion, music, news, pornography (especially the Internet), and the sale of almost any product from automobiles to computers, The secular world flagrantly exposes body parts, especially the genital areas.
Slide103HOW THE INFIRMITY OF LUST WORKS
The Church Fathers knew about such enticements a thousand years ago. St. Isaac of Syria wrote: "Passions are brought either by images or by sensations devoid of images and by memory, which at first is unaccompanied by passionate movements or thoughts, but which later produces excitation." One way to deal with these passions, continued St. Isaac: " . . . their thought must become attached to nothing except their own soul."
Slide104THE INTERNET
Slide105SECULARISM IN THE WORKPLACE
WHAT COMES TO MIND?
Slide106SECULARISM IN SCHOOLS AND ACADEMIA
WHAT COMES TO MIND?
Slide107SECULARISM IN POLITICS AND GOVERNMENT
WHAT COMES TO MIND?
Slide108SECULARISM IN MEDIA AND ENTERTAINMENT
WHAT COMES TO MIND?
Slide109SECULARISM IN OUR COMMUNITIES
WHAT COMES TO MIND?
Slide110SOURCES OF SECULARISMFAMILY EXAMINATION OF CONSCIENCE
SELF EXAMINATION OF CONSCIENCE
Slide111PARENTING STYLES
Authoritarian: This style has high expectations and rigid conformity to parental commands and household rules. Interaction with the child is frequently harsh in tone.
Authoritative
: This style communicates and explains household rules to the child in a respectful and warm, but firm, tone. Often communicating the consequences of non-compliance is enough to influence behavior (Morelli, 2006a). This is the most effective parenting style (Baumrind, 1991).
Permissive
: This parenting style is distinguished by few behavioral expectations for the child. Often the parent wants to be the child's friend and is quite nurturing.
Neglectful
: This style has almost no behavioral expectations. Parents are self-centered and display little emotional reaction. These parents basically pay little or no attention to the child's behavior. This is the least effective style and related to the highest levels of delinquency (Patterson, 1993)
Slide112EXAMPLE: TALKING TO CHILDREN WHEN A POPULAR ROLE MODEL FALL SHORT
Slide113How to Talk to Children
Talking with children does not mean preaching. Adults can be preached to. Children have to discover for themselves. The best way to talk with children is to first ask them how they feel about the topic. Then see if they can make the connection to Our Lord's life and teachings. The English word "education" is derived from the Latin word "educare" which means "to draw out." Parents may have to help draw out these connections.
Slide114DON’T PREACH TO CHILDREN
Let me emphasize once again: Adults LOVE to preach. Don't preach to your child. Discuss the questions if you want your child to learn.
Slide115It Starts with God's Love for Us
The discussion should focus on the love God has for us and the love husband (father) and wife (mother) have for each other in a God-blessed committed relationship (sacramental marriage). Parents should focus on this "as the same love we have for you as our children" (Morelli, 2005, 2007a, b).
Morelli, G. (2007a, August 28).
Smart Parenting VI: Talking to Your Children About Sex
.
http://www.orthodoxytoday.org/articles7/MorelliSmartParentingVI.php
Morelli, G. (2007b December 17)
Smart Parenting VIII: Fighting for Christ at Christmas -- Combating Secularism
.
http://www.orthodoxytoday.org/articles7/MorelliSmartParentingVIII.php
Morelli, G. (2005, July 19)
Sex is Holy: Psycho-Spiritual Reflections in a Secular World
.
http://www.orthodoxytoday.org/articles5/MorelliSexIsHoly.php
Slide116Blessed Sex is Holy
The discussion should focus on the holiness of sex, its part in God's creation
Example questions:
Who created us? (God.)
Who does God get to help him? (Mommies and daddies. Older children may want to discuss the physiology involved, parents should be unanxiously straightforward and choose age-appropriate terms etc.)
How does he choose them? (He blesses their marriage.)
Slide117Brokenness: Falling Short and Sin
The theme of this discussion is that since the fall of our first parents, we are inclined to do what we want and not what God wants. God loves us and if we love Him we want to do what He wants, (follow His will).
Example questions:
Have you ever done anything wrong?
If you have done wrong what can you do? (Answers: ask forgiveness, repent, do better, follow God's will.)
Have you ever done anything God would be unhappy about?
Have you ever done anything mommy or daddy would be unhappy about?
Slide118God's Love, Mercy and Forgiveness
The child should be helped to see God's never ending love, mercy and forgiveness. The gospels are filled with examples of Jesus forgiving the sins of those whom he encountered. Parents may want to mark a few passages so they could go over them with their children. With older children, parents and children should read the Parable of the Prodigal Son (Luke 15:11-32), and the account of the woman caught in adultery (John 8: 3-11). Children should be asked for the meaning of these passages in terms of the current news story and their own lives.
Slide119God's Love, Mercy and Forgiveness Example questions:
If you have done something wrong (fallen short, sinned), are really sorry, and ask God to forgive you, what will He do?
Because you have done wrong does it mean God, or mommy or daddy does not love you?
Does God want you to displease Him (sin against Him) again? (cf. Romans 6.)
What is the best way to please God after displeasing (sinning against) Him? (Ask forgiveness [for older children, especially by going to Confession] and try with all our heart not to displease Him or sin against Him again.)
Slide120Connections With Others
Then a connection should be made between God's love, their own falling short, and the falling short of the actress
Slide121Connections With Others Example questions:
Does Jamie's pregnancy outside of marriage cause God to stop loving her? (No, He hates her sin, but not her, just as we, your parents, hate when you disobey us, but still love you.)
Does God want you to love her?
What can you do to show your love for her? (Pray for her, pray she asks God to give her the grace to grow in His love of Him, obey Him and do His will.)
Because she did something wrong is it OK for us (you) to do something wrong?
What is more important: To please God or your friends?
What is more important: To do what pleases God or to do what you see movie stars do?
Why not? (Because we want to love God with all our hearts and mind, so we can please Him and be with Him in paradise.)
What do we do when we or someone gets in trouble? (Pray for them. So we should pray for Ms. Spears, and all those whom God loves, and that means all of us even the worst of sinners.)
Slide122Future Choices
Priestmonk Christodoulos (Angelou, 1998), biographer of Elder Paisios of the Holy Mountain, said of the Elder: "He only saw the good things in life and was blind to every evil." Fr. Christodoulos also said: "I believe that if someone develops positive thoughts, ... he will not be a loser, because God, who knows our deepest intentions, will do him justice."
What a beautiful way to apply the Elder's teaching to this media event. One overheard comment that reflects the spirit of the holy Elder's words was by a woman who said, "One good thing, she decided to keep her child and not have an abortion."
Especially with older children, the choice for life over death could be emphasized. They could pray that Godly choices like this could continue to be made. This could be a starting point leading to a family discussion on abortion and the sanctity of life.
Slide123The Best Way to Show Love
The best way to show our love of God is to love Him and do what He has commanded; pray with all our heart to know, love and serve Him. Pray that Our Lord's words to the woman caught in adultery be what He would say to this popular actress and ourselves: "Neither do I condemn you; go, and do not sin again" (John 6:11).
Slide124OTHER CURRENT ISSUES CONFRONTING CHILDREN
SEX OUTSIDE OF MARRIAGEHOMOSEXUAL MARRIAGE
JUST VS UNJUST WAR
IMMIGRATION
CAPITOL PUNISHMENT
ENVIRONMENTAL ISSUES
WORLD POVERTY
FINANCIAL MISMANAGEMENT
Slide125OTHER CURRENT ISSUES CONFRONING CHILDREN CON’T
ABORTIONSTEM CELL RESEARCHSPECIFICS ABOUT WAR
WATERBOARDING
TORTURE
HONESTY IN ACHIEVING
SCHOOL
MARKETPLACE
Slide126EXAMINATION: THE DOMESTIC CHURCH
DO WE HAVE AN ICON CORNER?DO WE HAVE ICONS OF OUR LORD, THE THEOTOKOS & OUR PATRON SAINTS?
DO WE PRAY TO GOD REMEMBERING OUR PATRONS AND THE CHURCH FEASTS [DAILY TROPARS AND KONTAKS, EPISTLE & GOSPEL]?
DO WE HAVE SOME ANTIDORON FROM SUNDAY LITURGY ON THE TABLE
DO WE HAVE CANDLES AND INCENSE AND USE THEM?
Slide127EXAMINATION CON’T
DO WE PRAY WITH OUR CHILDREN BEFORE BEDTIME AND AWAKENING IN THE MORNING?DO OUR CHILDREN KNOW THE CROSS?
DO OUR CHILDREN KNOW THE BASIC PRAYERS?
TRISAGIAN
OUR FATHER
CREED
Slide128EXAMINATION CON’TDO WE SAY GRACE BEFORE AND AFTER MEALS?
DO WE MAKE THE CROSS?DO OUR CHILDREN KNOW THE PRAYERS?
DO SAY GRACE AND CROSS WHEN WE ARE AWAY FROM THE HOME?
Slide129EXAMINATION CON’TDO WE FOLLOW THE CHURCH FASTS?
WEDNESDAYS AND FRIDAYS?CHRISTMAS?
LENT?
HOLY WEEK?
APOSTLES?
DORMITION?
Slide130EXAMINATION CON’TDO WE AND OUR CHILDREN KNOW THE PURPOSE OF FASTING?
BUILDING SPIRITUAL STRENGTH?ALMSGIVING: GIVING BACK TO GOD LOVE THROUGH LOVE OF ONE ANOTHER IN NEED?
Slide131EXAMINATION CON’TDO WE HAVE FAMILY SPIRITUAL READING?
HOLY SCRIPTURE?CHURCH FATHERS?
LIVES OF THE SAINTS?
Slide132EXAMINATION CON’T
FOR FAMILIES WITH YOUNG CHILDREN: DO WE HAVE VIDEOS, CDS &/OR DVDS OF BIBLE STORIES FOR CHILDREN.ETC?
[EASILY AVAILABLE AT CHRISTIAN BOOKSTORES OR ST. VLADIMIR’S SEMINARY OR HOLY CROSS SEMINARY BOOKSTORES]
Slide133EXAMINATION CON’T
DO WE ATTEND LITURGY AS A FAMILY ON SUNDAYS AND FEASTDAYS?DO WE MAKE OUR CROSS & MAKE SURE OUR CHILDREN DO ALSO?
DO WE LIGHT OUR CANDLE?
DO WE REVERENCE THE SACRED ICONS?
HAVE WE EXPLAINED & SHOWED THE STRUCTURE & LAYOUT OF THE CHURCH TO OUR CHILDREN?
Slide134EXAMINATION CON’TIF NON WORSHIP ACTIVITIES ARE SCHEDULED IN THE COMMUNITY ON SUNDAY:
DO WE REFUSE TO PARTICIPATE?DO WE PROTEST TO THE PROPER AUTHORITIES?
DO WE EXPLAIN TO OUR CHILDREN WHY THIS IS WRONG—THAT GOD COMES FIRST?
Slide135EXAMINATION CON’TDO WE ACKNOWLEDGE BLESSINGS?
SPECIAL BLESSINGS?
EVERYDAY ORDINARY BLESSINGS?
Slide136EXAMINATION CON’T
DO WE ACKNOWLEDGE SPECIAL BLESSINGS?BASIL [14 SEPT-HOLY CROSS]WATER [THEOPHANY]
CANDLES [02 FEB PRESENTATION]
FLOWERS [HOLY CROSS SUNDAY & GRT FRIDAY]
OIL [WED. OF HOLY WEEK]
PALMS [PALM SUNDAY]
EGGS [PASCHA]
Slide137EXAMINATION CON’TDO WE ACKNOWLEDGE EVERYDAY BLESSINGS?
DO WE NOT SAY ‘GOOD LUCK’ BUT ‘THANK YOU LORD’ OR ‘WHAT A BLESSING’?DO WE ASK OUR LORD TO BLESS OUR CURRENT ACTIVITY?
DO WE ASK OUR PRIEST TO BLESS SPECIAL OBJECTS: CARS, HOMES, ETC.?
Slide138EXAMINATION CON’T
DO WE BRING OUR CHILDREN INTO THE SPIRITUAL FAMILY OF THE CHURCH IN THE APPROPRIATE WAY?DO WE TALK WITH OUR PRIEST BEFORE THE BIRTH OF THE CHILD AND REFLECT ON THE MYSTERY OF CO-CREATION?
DO WE HAVE THE PRIEST BLESS THE NEWBORN IN THE HOSPITAL?
DO WE SAY THE PRAYERS OF NAMING ON THE EIGHTH DAY AFTER BIRTH?
Slide139EXAMINATION CON’T [BAPTISM]
DO WE OFFER [PRESENT] THE BABY TO GOD ON OR ABOUT THE 40TH DAY [CHURCHING]?
DO WE CONFERE WITH THE PRIEST ON THE MEANING OF BAPTISM AND PREPARING FOR IT?
DO WE CHOOSE A SPONSER WHO IS ‘COMMITTED” TO CHRIST AND HIS TEACHING AND WILL “EDUCATE THE CHILD IN THE FAITH AND ‘FEAR’ OF GOD?
Slide140EXAMINATION CON’T
DO WE CONFESS OUR SINS PRIVATELY DAILY AND SACRAMENTALLY OFTEN?THANKING GOD FOR HIS GRACE AND GIFT OF LIFE?
EXAMINING OUR CONSCIENCES AS TO HOW WE ACTED TOWARD GOD AND OTHERS?
ATTRIBUTING GOOD WE HAVE DONE TO GOD AND EVIL TO OURSELVES?
DO WE RESOLVE QUICKLY ANY CONFLICTS WITH OTHERS AND FORGIVE ALL WHO OFFENDED US & PARDON FROM US OFFENDING?
Slide141EXAMINATION CON’TDO WE AVAIL OURSELVES AND OUR FAMILIES OF HOLY UNCTION WHEN ILL OR WHEN OFFERED BY OUR PARISH [WEDNESDAY OF HOLY WEEK, SPECIAL UNCTION SERVICES]?
Slide142EXAMINATION CON’T
DO WE MINISTER IN OUR LOCAL CHURCH?PARISH COUNCIL, LADIES SOCIETY, SOYO, CHURCH SCHOOL, CHOIR, FELLOWSHIP OF ST. JOHN THE DIVINE, ORDER OF ST. IGNATIUS, SPECIAL MINISTRIES …ETC?
DO WE ENCOURAGE OUR CHILDREN TO BE ENGAGED IN PARISH ACTIVITIES: CHURCH SCHOOL, SOYO, ALTAR BOY’S, CAMP …ETC?
Slide143EXAMINATION CON’TDO WE MINISTER IN OUR DOMESTIC CHURCH?
HOW COULD WE DO THIS?________________
________________
________________
Slide144EXAMINATION CON’THOW DO WE DEAL WITH NON-CHRISTIAN VALUES IN NEWS AND MEDIA?
DO WE ALLOW ONLY APPROPRIATE TV PROGRAMS AND MUSIC?DO WE HAVE OUR CHILDREN’S COMPUTER IN AN OPEN SPACE AND BE ENGAGED IN WHAT THEY DO?
DO WE HAVE ‘NET NANNY’?
Slide145EXAMINATION CON’T WHEN A PROGRAM OR AD APPEARS WHICH CONTRADICTS OUR LORDS TEACHING WHAT DO WE DO?
DO WE ENGAGE OUR CHILREN IN THEIR IDEAS ABOUT IT IN TERMS OF THEIR UNDERSTANDING OF GOD’S LOVE OF US AND THE LOVE WE MUST HAVE FOR EACH OTHER?
Slide146EXAMINATION CON’T
WHEN A NEWS CAST IS VIEWED DO WE DISCUSS AS A FAMILY THE CONTENT IN TERMS OF OUR LORD’S TEACHINGS?ABORTION?CAPITAL PUNISHMENT?
CASUAL SEX?
CRIMINAL ACTIVITY?
DRUGS AND ALCHOHOL?
ENVIRONMENT
EUTHANASIA?
Slide147EXAMINATION CON’T [NEWS]
- HOMELESSNESSIMMODESTY [DRESS, SONG, SPEECH]
NATURAL DISASTERS
PRE-EMPTIVE WAR
SEX
Slide148EXAMINATION SCOREYES TO ALL OR MOST: A CHRISTIAN HOME
NO TO ALL OR MOST: A SECULAR HOMESECULARISM:
"the religion of man who makes himself god."
Slide149WHAT/WHO IS THE CAUSE OF SECULARISM?
LOOK AT YOUR SCORE ………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………OUR LORD SAID:
“ FOR WHERE THY TREASURE IS, THERE IS THY HEART ALSO”. MATTHEW 6:21.
Slide150WHAT IS MAKING US SECULAR?
AN EROSION OF OUR COMMITMENT TO CHRIST IS THE ROOT IS SECULARISM : THE GRADUAL LOSS OF AWARENESS OF GOD'S PRESENCE THE DENIAL OF HIS SOVEREIGNTY
THE DENIAL OF HIS VERY EXISTENCE.
Slide151ROOTS OF SECULARISMTHE FIRST HUMAN REVOLT
VARIOUS FORMS: LUST FOR POWER,
MATERIALISM
HEDONISM. IN OUR CENTURY.
Slide152SECULARISM’S OTHER NAMES
individualism, relativism, political, religious and social correctness
Slide153ROOTS: AGE OF ENLIGNTENMENT
FREETHINKERS pamphleteers such as Thomas Paine at it’s helm and other such as Thomas Jefferson. James Madison and Robert Green Ingersoll. SECULARISM traces back to the early 1850’s when George Jacob Holyoake, devised a systematic plan to completely expunge religious teaching from the educational system. - a new social order, the foundation of the entire society. ---“
higher form of moral and social action
”
Slide154THE MORAL COMPASS: CONSENSUS
“there must be a moral consensus, extending beyond and in some instances contradicting particular religious beliefs, to maintain the social contract.” In it’s essential this means morality and behavior is based on the agreement a group of people. Susan Jacoby (2005),
Freethinkers: A history of American secularism.
NY: Holt.
Slide155Critical questions concerning consensus
Now several critical questions come to mind. Which group of people determines the consensus? What happens if different groups are in conflict in terms of what is morally acceptable? Can distinct groups of individuals come to a different consensus on morality and acceptability of behavior? What rule determines which consensus is the right consensus when consensus conflicts occur?
Slide156Anthropological Observations : There is no consensus
Melanesia, some tribal groups display homosexual relations among men that are universal and obligatory [emphasis mine]. (Herdt, 1984).
Polyandry, which involves one woman having multiple husbands. One subtype occurring in Tibet and Nepal is fraternal polyandry. In this behavioral pattern a group of brothers marries one woman. The oldest brother most often is the designated groom during the wedding service. However all the brothers are recognized as her husband by this ceremony and all have sexual rights to her. The brothers also assume a group responsibility for all the children produced from this marriage. (O’Neil 2006).
Child marriage is normative in among some groups in Ethiopia and Nigeria, It is reported by Nour (2006) that 50% of girls are married before the age of 15 and some girls are married as young as the age of 7. A very contemporary illustration in a
Saudi Arabia10 May 2009 CNN report: “Husbands are allowed to slap their wives if they spend lavishly, a Saudi judge said recently during a seminar on domestic violence,."
most Western Countries including the United States, such punishment would be considered physical abuse, and the husband subject to criminal action.
Slide157Christ or Consensus
Consensus leads to conflict. It could be the tyranny of the majority over the minority, the minority over the majority or simply attempting to determine which consensus is the ‘true’ consensus.
Slide158Mind of Christ and the Mind of His Church
True Christians can cut through the consensus conflict by focusing on He who said: "I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father, but by me.” (Jn 14:6). They do this, not by cultural or ethnic identity or considering themselves members of a club or organization, but conforming their mind to the Mind of Christ and His Church.
Slide159PRIDE: THE ROOT OF INDIVIDUALISM
Jesus tells us: "I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father, but by me. " (Jn 14: 16). Of the Church St. Paul notes: "Now you are the body of Christ and individually members of it. And God has appointed in the church first apostles ..." (1 Cor 12: 27-28) St. Luke (10: 16) quotes Jesus: "He who hears you hears me, and he who rejects you rejects me.." Many, in today’s world look to the consensus of secularism to justify individualistic non-Christ-like living. In this individualistic, "I am the judge of all things," "I do not need the Church" world, all the more reason that the Mind of the Church and the Church has to be proclaimed and be the guide of all of our lives
Slide160CHRIST & HIS CHURCH: A SCANDAL
If Christ, the Messiah on the Cross was a scandal to the Jews, (Morelli, 2009), so too is the Church a scandal, and to be ignored, changed or ignored by some individuals in our secular, politically and religiously correct contemporary relativistic society.
Slide161TRUST IN CHRIST & HIS CHURCH
. By trust in God, and conforming our minds and hearts to His, by adopting the Mind of Christ and the Church we trust based on His Love and Mercy that we will be deified and be one with Him not only on earth, but in eternal life. Elder Paisios of the Holy Mountain (Ageloglou (1998), gives us the following example: “The person who has trust in Divine Justice is neither upset when treated unfairly, nor seeks his justice; on the contrary, he accepts the false accusations as if they were true, and does not try to convince others that he has been slandered; instead he asks to be forgiven. Some or our saints called themselves intemperate, without of course being so, because they hoped and trusted in divine justice.” The Elder’s constant reminder was to always seek God’s justice “…and all these things shall be yours as well.” Mt 6: 33).
Ageloglou, Priestmonk Christodoulos. (1998).
Elder Paisios of The Holy Mountain
. Mt. Athos , Greece : Holy Mountain
.
Slide162THE MIND OF THE CHURCH
St Luke told his readers: "Take heed to yourselves and to all the flock, in which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers, [bishops and priests] to care for the church of God which he obtained with the blood of his own Son (Acts 20:28). Following St. Paul, these traditions, oral first and then written were passed from the apostles to their successors, the bishops and priests. All we have in the Church, its oral tradition, written tradition (Holy Scripture), Holy Mysteries, prayers, teachings of the Church Fathers and saints, holy councils, icons, architecture, music, all proclaim the glory and mind of Christ.
Slide163AMERICAN SECULARISM
A PARTICULAR AMERICAN ROOTA MISUNDERSTANDING OF DEMOCRACY
SEPARATION OF CHURCH AND STATE
EQUAL RIGHTS
RELIGIOUS TOLERANCE
POLITICAL CORRECTNESS
ONE RELIGION IS AS GOOD AS ANOTHER
POLITICALLY INCORRECT TO THINK OR SAY OUR RELIGION IS GOD GIVEN AND SO A SPECIAL GRACE
Slide164COMBATING AMERICAN SECULARISM
WE CAN RESPECT OTHERS CHOICES [AS GOD HIMSELF RESPECTS OURS: HE GAVE US FREE WILL, EVEN TO SIN]WE CAN STILL ACKNOWLEDGE WE HAVE THE FULLNESS OF HIS GIFTS:
WE ARE THE PEOPLE OF THE NEW COVANENT
WE ARE THE POST MESSIANIC JEWS
WE HAVE THE BODY, BLOOD, SOUL AND DIVINITY OF OUR LORD GOD AND SAVIOR JESUS CHRIST
Slide165COMBATING AMERICAN SECULARISM CON’T
WE HAVE THE OTHER MYSTERIES [SACRAMENTS] WHICH IMPART GRACEWE HAVE THE SEAL OF FORGIVENESS OF SINS IN CONFESSION
WE HAVE OUR LORD’S ASSURANCE: GOING THEREFORE, TEACH YE ALL NATIONS: BAPTIZING THEM IN THE NAME OF THE FATHER AND OF THE SON AND OF THE HOLY SPIRIT. TEACHING THEM TO OBSERVE ALL THINGS WHATSOEVER I HAVE COMMANDED YOU. AND BEHOLD I AM WITH YOU ALL DAYS, EVEN TO THE CONSUMMATION OF THE WORLD. MAT 28:19-20
Slide166COMBATING AMERICAN SECULARIM CON’T
WE SHOULD NEVER BE ARROGANT OR PROUD WE SHOULD ACKNOWLEDGE ORTHODOXY AS A PRECIOUS GIFT, A “PEARL OF GREAT PRICE” [MAT 13:46]
WE SHOULD THANK GOD FOR OUR GIFT AND HUMBLY AND RESPECTFULLY PRAY ALL MAY FIND THEIR WAY TO HIM
Slide167COMBATING AMERICAN SECULARISM CON’T
WE CAN NEVER JUDGE WHO IS BLESSED BY GOD AND WHO WILL BE SAVED: THE JEWTHE MOSLEM
THE PROTESTANT
THE ATHEIST
THE AGNOSTIC
Slide168COMBATING AMERICAN SECULARISM CON’T
ONLY GOD CAN READ HEARTS AND HE WILL JUDGE ALL IN THE END.WE HAVE TO REMEMBER: “ AND UNTO WHOMSOEVER MUCH IS GIVEN, OF HIM MUCH SHALL BE REQUIRED: [LK 12:48]
IT MAY BE OUR JUDGEMENT WILL BE GREATER BECAUSE WE HAVE BEEN GIVEN MORE
WE SHOULD BE THANKFUL AND HUMBLE
Slide169COMBATING AMERICAN SECULARISM CON’T
WE MUST HOWEVER PROCLAIM WE HAVE BEEN BLESSED WITH THE “TRUE FAITH” [WE HAVE SEEN THE TRUE LIGHT WE HAVE SEEN THE HEAVENLY SPIRIT; WE HAVE FOUND THE TRUE FAITH, WORSHIPING THE UNDIVIDED TRINITY: FOR HE HATH SAVED US” –LITURGY OF ST. JOHN CHRYSOSTOM]WE MUST PREACH BY OUR ACTIONS AND DEEDS AND ONLY IF NECESSARY BY OUR WORDS (St. Francis of Assisi)
Slide170COMBATING AMERICAN SECULARISM CON’T
ONE RELIGION IS NOT AS GOOD AS ANOTHERRESPECTING OTHERS CHOICES IS NOT ENDORSEMENT
Slide171WHAT CAN BE DONE TO COMBAT SECULARISM?
GO BACK OVER EACH OF THE EXAMINAITON QUESTIONS AND BRING ABOUT A “YES’ IN YOUR FAMILY AND LIVES.
Slide172JESUS AND OUR VOCATION
JESUS CHRIST, THE LORD OF HEAVEN AND EARTH ENTRUSTED THAT MISSION TO HIS CHURCH. WE ARE CALLED BY OUR BAPTISM, OUR ROYAL PRIESTHOOD TO PROCLAIM THE GOSPEL EVERYWHERE. THIS SACRED DUTY AND PRIVILEGE IS NOT RESERVED TO THE CLERGY, BUT IS CONFERRED IN BAPTISM AS THE MANDATE OF DISCIPLESHIP. THAT'S RIGHT. YOU AND I ARE CALLED TO BE EVANGELIZERS.
Slide173THE ROYAL PRIESTHOOD1 Peter 2:9
BUT YOU ARE A CHOSEN RACE, A ROYAL PRIESTHOOD, A HOLY NATION, GOD'S OWN PEOPLE, THAT YOU MAY DECLARE THE WONDERFUL DEEDS OF HIM WHO CALLED YOU OUT OF DARKNESS INTO HIS MARVELOUS LIGHT.
Slide174THE ROYAL PRIESTHOOD CON’T
“ALL THE FAITHFUL ARE TRULY ANOINTED PRIESTS AND KINGS IN THE SPIRITUAL RENEWAL BROUGHT ABOUT THROUGH BAPTISM … WE HAVE ONE AND THE SAME CALLING, FAITH AND RITUAL …CONSECRATED TO GOD NOW AND FOREVER.” [ST. GREGORY OF SINAI]
Slide175ROYAL PRIESTHOOD CON’T
PRAYER OF THE PROTHESISO LORD GOD ALMIGHTY …ACCEPT THE PRAYER OF US SINNERS, AND BEAR IT TO THY HOLY ALTAR, AND ENABLE US TO OFFER UNTO THEE GIFTS AND SPIRITUAL SACRIFICES FOR OUR SINS AND FOR THE ERRORS OF THE PEOPLE …[LITURGY OF ST JOHN CHRYSOSTOM]
Slide176FIGHTING SECULARISMPERSONAL CONVERSION
CHRIST MUST MAKE A REAL DIFFERENCE IN OUR LIVESPRAYER
EUCHARIST
CHANGE OF HEART
APOSTOLIC ZEAL
Slide177Blessed Marriage: The Holiness and Obligation of the Vocation of Parenthood
In the Orthodox wedding service, the Holy Spirit is invoked to: "Unite them (the couple) in one mind and one flesh, and grant unto them fair children for education in Thy faith and fear ... " The spiritual goal of marriage is connected to the parental vocation. This is of Divine origin. As God loves us, we are to love. This love starts in the domestic church, sanctified and continuingly enlivened by the sharing of the Holy Mysteries in the parish community. It then abides mutually between the spouses, and spreads from there to their children and then to all those in the world.
Slide178A PRAYER OF MARRIED PERSONS
O MERCIFUL GOD, WE BESEECH THEE EVER TO REMIND US THAT THE MARRIED STATE IS HOLY, AND THAT WE MUST KEEP IT SO. GRANT US THY GRACE, THAT WE MAY CONTINUE IN FAITHFULNESS AND LOVE; INCREASE IN US THE SPIRIT OF MUTUAL UNDERSTANDING AND TRUST, THAT NO QUARREL OR STRIFE MAY COME BETWEEN US. GRANT US THY BLESSINGS, THAT WE MAY STAND BEFORE OUR FELLOWS AND IN THY SIGHT AS AN IDEAL FAMILY. AND FINALLY, BY THY MERCY, ACCOUNT US WORTHY OF EVERLASTING LIFE: FOR THOU ART OUR SANCTIFICATION, AND TO THEE WE ASCRIBE GLORY: TO THE FATHER, AND TO THE SON, AND TO THE HOLY SPIRIT; NOW AND EVER, AND UNTO AGES OF AGES. AMEN.