Communication Boundaries Galatians 62 amp 5 NIV Carry each others burdens Each one should carry their own load Ephesians 415 NLT We will speak the truth in love growing in every way more and more like Christ who is the head of his body the church ID: 655495
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Slide1
BOUNDARIES
for healthy relationshipsSlide2
Communication
BoundariesSlide3
Galatians 6:2 & 5
NIV
Carry
each other’s burdens.
Each one should carry
their own load.Slide4
Ephesians 4:15
NLT
We
will
speak the truth in love
, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church.Slide5
It seems obvious that no one would want his/her boundaries violated. So why do we allow it?
Why
do we NOT enforce or uphold our boundaries?Slide6
Why we don’t protect our boundaries
FEAR
of rejection and, ultimately,
abandonment
FEAR
of
confrontation
GUILT
We were not taught healthy boundaries.
AWARENESS is the first step
in establishing and enforcing your boundaries.Slide7
Is it ever appropriate
to choose to endure mistreatment?Slide8
HEALTHY BOUNDARIES
allow you to…
Have
high self-esteem and self-respect
.
Share personal information gradually, in a mutually sharing and trusting relationship
.
Protect physical and emotional space from intrusion
.
Have an equal partnership where responsibility and power are shared
.
Be assertive. Confidently and truthfully say “yes” or “no” and be okay when others say “no” to you
.
Separate your needs, thoughts, feelings, and desires from others. Recognize that your boundaries and needs are different from others
.
Empower yourself to make healthy choices and take responsibility for yourself.Slide9
UNHEALTHY BOUNDARIES
look like…
Either sharing
too much too soon
or closing
yourself off and not expressing your need and wants
.
Feeling responsible for
others’
happiness
.
Failing
to say “no” for fear of rejection or abandonment
.Weak sense of your own identity. You base how you feel about yourself on how others treat you
.
Disempowerment. You allow others to make decisions for
you and so feel
powerless and do not take responsibility for your own life
.
Terri Cole, founder and CEO of Live Fearless and Free, licensed psychotherapist & transformation coachSlide10
Non-Assertive Behavior
Fearful of being yelled out
Very sensitive to disapproval and rejection
Disrespectful to oneself
Allow personal rights to be violated
Fearful of being wrong or stupid
Feel anxious, sad and isolated
Goal: To play it safe and be likedSlide11
Aggressive Behavior
Rude, bossy and controlling of others
Uses verbal and even physical force
Disrespectful to others
Violates rights of others
Needs to be right
Shows immaturity by blunt honesty without regards for other feelings
Goal: To be right and prove itSlide12
Assertive Behavior
Refrains from verbal or physical force
Sensitive and caring to both self and others
Balances personal rights with responsibilities to others
Expresses feelings tactfully
Is more concerned to being kind than right
Feels secure, confident and loving
Goal: To express yourself honestly and kindlySlide13
When you feel anger or resentment or find yourself whining or complaining,
you probably need to set a boundary.
Listen to yourself.
D
etermine what you need to do or say, then communicate assertively.
Learning to set healthy boundaries takes time. Set them
as you are ready
, not when someone else tells you.
Develop a support system of people who respect your right to set boundaries.
Create strong, clear boundaries with
toxic persons
in
your life—those who want to manipulate, abuse,
or
control you. Slide14
When you
set
a boundary, do it clearly, calmly, firmly, respectfully, and in as few words as possible.
Do
not
justify (try to convince the other person the boundary is right),
get angry, or apologize for the boundary you are setting.Slide15
You are not responsible for the other person’s reaction to the boundary you are setting. You are only responsible for communicating your boundary
respectfully.
If they choose to get upset,
know
that
is their problem. Slide16
Some people, especially those accustomed to controlling, abusing, or manipulating you, might test you. Plan on
it.
E
xpect it.
B
ut stay
firm.
Remember
, your
words and actions must
match the boundaries you are setting.
You
cannot successfully establish a clear boundary if you send mixed messages by apologizing.Slide17
At
first, you
may feel
selfish, guilty, or embarrassed when you set a boundary. Do it
anyway. Remind
yourself you have a
right and responsibility
to self-care.
Setting
boundaries takes practice and determination. Don’t let anxiety or low self-esteem
keep
you from taking care of yourself.Slide18
St
Francis Prayer of Peace
O Divine Master,
grant
that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand
;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.Slide19Slide20Slide21