Coaching Sessions for Coping with COVID-19 - PowerPoint Presentation

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Coaching Sessions for Coping with COVID-19

Jennifer Kirby, PhD and Cynthia Bulik, PhDUniversity of North Carolina at Chapel Hill

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© 2020, Cynthia Bulik and Jennifer Kirby

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A Note on this Coaching Curriculum

The idea for this coaching curriculum emerged during a discussion between Patrick Sullivan, MD and Cynthia Bulik, PhD as they were discussing the challenges their junior team members were having during the COVID-19 pandemic. They quickly realized that the challenges were not limited to junior researchers, but that everyone could use some assistance in managing life during the pandemic.

Dr. Bulik then reached out to her long-time partner in psychotherapy development Dr. Jennifer Kirby (they have created several manualized treatments together) and within days developed a draft coaching curriculum. We piloted the program with a group of early career researchers who were also mothers of young children and have incorporated their feedback into this V2.0 of the curriculum. We welcome any feedback that you have from your experience and encourage you to share this curriculum widely with your colleagues.

Stay well and stay safe!

Jen

, Cindy,

and Pat

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Coaching Session 1: Setting the Stage

Today’s Agenda

Welcome and brief introductionsDiscuss goals/expectations/format of coaching sessionsCheck-in – how is everyone doing?

Select “homework” for our next session

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Coaching Sessions: Goals and Format

Goals of our time togetherLearn how to cope with “life during the pandemic” more effectively

Create a supportive, non-judgmental space for us to share concerns and guidance with each otherCoaching is not therapy; that being said, what is said in coaching, stays in coaching

Format of sessions

Each session – welcome, check-in, new material, and exercises to work on at home

9 sessions in total over the next four weeks

Weekday 1, Weekday 2, X:00-X:00 pm (one hour)Final meeting will be Day, Month DateFirst session of week = didactic; second session = discussion4

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Coaching Session 1: Homework

Exercises to complete for our next sessionPick a specific self-care behavior and aim to do it every day.

For example:Eating, sleeping, or physical activitySomething you enjoy, or find relaxing

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Coaching Session 2 (Didactic)

Today’s AgendaWelcome and brief homework review

Discussion topic for today: Working “Smart”Homework for our next meeting

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Homework Review

How did you do with your daily self-care behavior? What helped? What got in the way?

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Overview of Two Key Domains

Working during COVID-19Good work habits

Daily structure/routineRe-planning your future projects, papers, grantsMental / emotional well-being

Perfectionism

Worry and fear

Challenging emotions Self-care

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Optimizing our Work Potential during COVID-19

We’re aiming for working “smart” – working harder (i.e., more hours) not possibleDemands are much higher

Resources are much lowerOverarching skill to keep in mind

Being effective

: Doing what works—not what you want to work, not what you think should work—but what actually works

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How can we work “smart” during COVID-19?

Set realistic expectations – what’s possible?

Prioritize your time / work tasks

Consider your work habits – when, what, how do you work best; the role of “set-shifting”

Create a workspace for yourself

Ask for help/support/accountability, delegate when you can

Avoid comparisons with others

Problem-solve as needed

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Coaching Session 2: Homework

Exercises to complete for our next sessionPick 1-2 factors from Slide 9 (How can we work “smart”?) that you can practice implementing between now and our next meeting

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Coaching Session 3 (Discussion)

Today’s AgendaWelcomeHomework review and group discussion

Strategies for “working smart” during COVID-19 crisisHomework for our next meeting

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Coaching Session 3: Homework

Homework for our next meetingContinue implementing work strategies

Observe when your thoughts are challenging (e.g., worries, fears, perfectionism, judgments)

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Coaching Session 4 (Didactic)

Today’s AgendaWelcome and brief homework review

Discussion topic for today: “Thinking well” during COVID-19Homework for our next meeting

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Homework Review

How did you do with your work strategies?What struck you as you observed your thoughts since our last meeting/COVID-19 started?

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“Thinking Well” During COVID-19: Cognitive-Behavioral Model

Thoughts

Emotions

Behaviors

Within a specific situation…

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“Thinking Well” During COVID-19

How are your thoughts challenging you these days?

Natural to have lots of worries, fears, judgments about self and/or others, standards that may be unattainable, etc.Can be tough to focus, mind jumping from topic to topic, difficulty staying in the present

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“Thinking Well” During COVID-19

Be on the lookout for these common thinking errors/issues:All-or-nothing or black/white – dichotomy versus continuum

Catastrophizing – worst case scenarios, won’t be able to copeMind-reading – “knowing” what others are thinkingRuminating – getting stuck on a specific thought pattern

Changing frequently – bouncing from worry to worry

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What can we do to think “better”?

First, we need to be aware of our thoughts. Realize that we’re having a thought versus experiencing a “truth/fact.”

Second, we can examine our thoughts by asking a few questions:

Is this thought accurate?

Check the facts!

Is this thought helpful to have now?

If not, turn your attention elsewhere.Is this thought a negative judgment? Re-describe specifically without global labels.19

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Examples: Examining our Thoughts

“This is never going to end.”

feelings of fear, sadness

Ask: Is this thought accurate?

Check the facts! What evidence do we have in support of this thought/counter to this thought?

“I’m so behind on my project timeline. There’s no way I will be able to catch up now.”

feelings of anxiety, guilt, fearAsk: Is this thought helpful to have now? It may be true but is thinking this now helping me? If not, turn your attention elsewhere.

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Examples: Examining our Thoughts

“I’m such a bad parent / partner / employee.”

feelings of guilt, shame

Is this thought a negative judgment?

Re-describe specifically without global labels (what exactly happened). Add in some cheerleading for “the next time”.

I snapped at the kids today.

I wish I had been able to be more patient. Tomorrow is another day, and I will try again.I got a, b, and c done at work today. I was hoping to get X and Y done too. I wish I had been able to get more accomplished. Tomorrow I will start my work with X and Y and do my best.

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Coaching Session 4: Homework

Exercises to complete for our next session Practice observing your thoughts- either in real time and/or after they have occurred

Practice evaluating your thoughts:Is this thought accurate? Check the facts!

Is this thought helpful to have now?

Turn your attention elsewhere.

Is this thought a negative judgment? Re-describe specifically without global labels.

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Coaching Session 5 (Discussion)

Today’s AgendaWelcome and brief homework reviewDiscussion topic for today: Observing and evaluating thoughts

Homework for our next meeting

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Coaching Session 5: Homework

Today’s AgendaContinue with observing and evaluating your thoughts

Begin to observe your emotionsWhat challenges are you noticing related to your emotions?

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Coaching Session 6 (Didactic)

Today’s AgendaWelcome and brief homework review

Discussion topic for today: “Managing Your Emotions” during COVID-19Homework for our next meeting

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Homework Review

How did you do with your cognitive strategies?What struck you as you observed your emotions since our last meeting/COVID-19 started?

What challenges have you had relative to your emotions during this time?

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Observations of emotional challenges during COVID-19?

Complex griefTypical grief has predictable pattern

During pandemic, in addition to loss of life, dealing with many different losses (paper cuts of grief)Emotional labilityFeelings fluctuate more than usual

Feeling OK one minute and hopeless the next, without clear triggers

Feeling many emotions at once

Difficulty separating out a “stew” of emotions

Try to focus on one food at a time27

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What can we do to manage our emotions better?

First, we need to be aware of and identify our emotions

. Realize that we’re having an emotion versus “this is reality” (“I’m feeling hopeless” vs “Things are hopeless”)Identify emotion specifically to better learn and respond to it (e.g., can use feeling wheel)

Second, we can

respond to our emotions

in a number of ways: Validate your emotion- acknowledge the reason(s) why it makes sense you’re having it

Reduce our vulnerability to negative emotionsChange our emotional experience Tolerate our emotions without making matters worse28

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Recognizing and Identifying Your Emotions (i.e., Feeling Wheel by Gloria Wilcox, PhD)

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How do we reduce our vulnerability to negative emotions?

Tending to our self-carePhysical illness, sleep, eating, exercise, substance use, taking meds as prescribed

Challenging as we’re caregivers, time/money/help/ opportunities are limited

Building in positive experiences

Daily/weekly positives – what is possible/attainable?

Long-term positives – very challenging as we can’t predict/plan like usual

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How do we change an emotion once we’re having one (provided we want to)?

Use the skill of

acting oppositeIdentify the emotion you’re having

Identify the behavioral urge you’re having from that emotion (i.e., what do you feel like doing)

Ask yourself what is the

opposite behavior

of that urgeDo that opposite behavior fully – throw yourself into itRemember you DO NOT have to stop having the emotion you’re having31

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Examples of Acting Opposite

Sadness

urge is to withdraw

Opposite behavior:

Engage

Fear/anxiety

urge is to avoid / worryOpposite behavior: ApproachAnger urge is to lash out Opposite behavior: Be kind, forgiveGuilt / Shame

urge is to apologize / hide / self-punishFirst, ask if your behavior violated your own values. If against your values, apologize, make amends, then let it goIf not against your values, then repeat behavior that made you feel guilty/ashamed (need more practice!)

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How do we cope with intense emotions without making matters worse?

Distraction –

when you can’t change a tough situation, sometimes the best thing you can do is “take a break from it”Engaging activities – a task that takes your attention fully

Contributing to others – giving to others, checking on a loved one

Opposite emotions (different from emotion you’re struggling with) – watching a movie, listening to music

Pushing away – put worries/emotions, etc. in a “box”, will come back to it later

Intense sensations – e.g., hot/cold shower, hold an ice cube for 20 seconds, exercise, sexRadical acceptance – practice fully accepting the situation is as it is, and stop resisting it (“it shouldn’t be, it must not be”), may have to do this again and again and again33

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Coaching Session 6:

HomeworkExercises to complete for our next session Practice observing and validating your emotions – either in real time and/or after they have occurred

Practice emotion management strategies:How can I make myself less vulnerable to negative emotions?

Work on a self-care domain, build in a positive

Is this an emotion I would like to change?

Practice acting oppositeIs this an emotion I need to tolerate (for now)?

Practice distracting, radical acceptance34

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Coaching Session 7 (Discussion)

Today’s AgendaWelcomeHomework review and group discussion

Strategies for managing emotions during COVID-19 crisisHomework for our next meetingPractice cognitive and emotion management strategies

Consider your concerns and discussion needs relative to your next professional steps, email them to

coach

by [insert day before next session]

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Coaching Session 8 (Didactic)

Today’s AgendaWelcome and brief homework review

Discussion topic for today: Managing uncertainty and planning for the futureHomework for our next meeting

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Homework Review

How did you do with your emotion management strategies?Observing and labeling your emotions

Validating your emotionsAddressing self-care, building in positivesActing oppositeDistracting

Radical acceptance

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Looking Ahead: Need to Manage Uncertainty

Major challenge of navigating uncertaintyTough when we don’t know what / when life events are going to happen, we have limited control (e.g., one reason why pregnancy process can be so hard)

COVID-19 has created uncertainty in multiple domains at once—professionally, personally, health safety, financial security, etc.—with no clear end date

Managing uncertainty will be an ongoing process

When are you more / less successful doing so? What helps you do this better?

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Managing Uncertainty: Putting Our Coaching Strategies to Work

Identify what is certain vs what is uncertain – more may be certain than you realize!

Radically accept the domains of uncertainty –remember you may have to do this repeatedly

Distract from worrying/focusing on uncertainty (for now- may be for limited periods of time)

Focus your efforts on what is more certain, also where you have control, what you can plan for, etc.

Remember to consider your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors throughout the above!

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Reflections and Planning Ahead: Professional

Professionally:

What are realistic expectations for the next 6 months? Next year?What strategies will you use to best communicate this with your bosses/supervisors?

How will you manage not living up to

your perception

of others’ expectations?

How will you reconcile your own revised expectations with your pre-COVID expectations?How will you manage comparisons with others who have different circumstances?

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Reflections and Planning Ahead: Professional

Practical steps:

Being proactive about professional accommodations (tenure clock, deadlines)

Talking with your supervisor / boss /mentor about the challenges you are facing

Building strategic alliances (peers who can help concretely; exchange favors)

Realistic backup plans (not obsessing about worst case scenarios)

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Reflections and Planning Ahead: Personal

Personally:

What lifestyle changes have you made due to COVID-19 that you would like to continue? Are you finding yourself more grateful / looking forward to life experiences you had previously experienced as boring or depleting?

What sources of support do you need to best move forward from here? What practical steps can you take to set these up?

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Coaching Session 8: Homework

Exercises to complete for our next session Practice strategies relative to managing uncertainty

Anticipate your personal and professional next steps from here Reflect on how the coaching sessions may or may not have been helpful to you, and suggestions you have for improvement

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Coaching Session 9 (Discussion)

Today’s AgendaWelcomeHomework review and group discussion

Strategies for managing uncertaintyReflections on our coaching sessionsLooking back – what was most helpful

Looking ahead – what are your goals moving forward

Interest in continuing informally?

Feedback on the coaching material, format, etc.

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