Bible Study St Matthew Lutheran Church November 18 2018 Rev Steve Andrews Jr A Slew of Difficult Topics Dating Cohabiting Intentionality Divorce Remarriage We will study what the Scriptures say on these topics ID: 781533
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Slide1
Marriage by Our Design
Worldstory
Bible Study
St. Matthew Lutheran Church
November 18, 2018
Rev. Steve Andrews Jr.
Slide2A Slew of Difficult Topics
Dating
Cohabiting
Intentionality
Divorce
Remarriage
We will study what the Scriptures say on these topics.
Slide3The Depth of Study
I did not take these difficult topics lightly.
I’ve never prepped more for a Bible study.
Scriptures
Early Church Fathers
Book of Concord
LCMS current day practices
Slide4Back to Two Weeks Ago
What are the four Scriptural Reasons for Marriage?
Procreation
Help/Support with dominion
Sex to prevent/counter temptation
Pointing us to Christ
Slide5Dating
Simply put, our culture’s model of dating is not the historical norm.
Even simpler, you won’t find it in the Bible.
Slide6Dating
Brief discussion
: What is dating?
Slide7Dating
What are the potential pitfalls of a dating mentality?
The goal is often not marriage.
If it is, why are our 6
th
graders dating? Are they getting married in the next year or two?
Instead, the focus is on ME!
Personal gratification, having a good time, what feels good.
This, by default, teaches objectification of the other. The person becomes an object for me, rather than me serving them.
Treats
relationships as temporary.
All relationships end.
L
ots of physicality apart from marriage.
Lust-based
Slide8Dating
How do we expect that after 15 years of this mentality, they suddenly can stop that pattern and permanently commit to a lifelong marriage?
Cohabitation
A 40-50% divorce rate
No-fault divorce – reasons end up sounding like why dating relationships end.
The lust died.
Slide9Dating
“Not Until I Say I Do” by Rev. Jonathan Fisk
I can’t recommend this video enough.
Twenty minutes that are well worth your time.
I will be sharing this with our 7
th
grade families every year as part of their milestone.
I will be sharing this with our high school students who come next week.
I will post the video, along with a study guide, on the church’s Facebook page this week.
Slide10How did they get married then?
Genesis 24 – Isaac and Rebekah
Matthew 1 – Joseph and Mary
The norm was arranged marriage.
Other options:
Deuteronomy 25 - Levirate Marriage/Obligation
1 Samuel 25 – David marries a widow and chooses also another.
They were sinners, too. Lust was still involved!
Slide11Cohabitation
Just as dating has become a normal part of our American
worldstory
, so also is cohabitation.
The act of a couple living together instead of marrying.
We
have come to a point, even in the Church, where this doesn’t bother us anymore. Is that okay? Should we just accept this trend as normal?
Slide12Cohabitation
An
estimated 18 million Americans are cohabiting right now.
According
to a 2017
Barna
survey, 65% of adults think it’s a good idea.
84
% saying the main reason is “to test their compatibility with their significant other
.”
Yes, in other words, we’ve turned marriage into test driving a car.
What
happens if you’re not compatible?
How
does this view sex? Marriage?
Slide13Cohabitation
According
to a 2015 Real weddings study, 76% of newlyweds cohabited first.
A
recent survey from the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development found that just over 50% of cohabiters ever even get married.
The
end finding of their study: “Cohabiting relationships are less stable than marriages and that instability is increasing.”
Slide14Cohabitation
What’s the danger?
An unrepentant life!
Disrespects and completely misunderstands God’s gifts of marriage, sex, and children.
Slide15What I walk a couple through if they speak with me
You’re lying.
Either
you are married, but are telling your friends and family you aren’t, or
you
aren’t married, and you’re telling everyone you are with your actions.
Pick
one. Either way, what must you do? Repent
!
(Where there is repentance, pastors speak forgiveness!)
What do you expect to change on the “wedding day
”?
This question has been extremely helpful to getting couples to think through what they’re doing.
Although, you are asking God, as you stand in His presence, to bless you in your sin and your lie. This is not a good idea. (See Ananias and
Sapphira
in the Acts of the Apostles)
Slide16The Three Options
Justice
of the Peace – marriage now, we can celebrate with a service of blessing with all the bells and whistles later
Separate
– full wedding later
Private
wedding now
Slide17Scriptures on Sex before Marriage
Genesis 2:24-25
Hebrews
13:4
Deuteronomy
22:13-21
1
Corinthians 6:9,
15-20,
7:2
Matthew 5:27-28
Exodus 22:16-17
Matthew
15:19,
Mark
7:21, Acts 15:19-20, Galatians 5:19-21, 1 Thessalonians 4:1-8
These all agree with 1 Corinthians 6:9.
Slide18Genesis 2:24-25
24
Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
25
And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.
Slide19Hebrews 13:4
4
Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.
Slide20Deuteronomy 22:13-21
13
“If any man takes a wife and goes in to her and then hates her
14
and accuses her of misconduct and brings a bad name upon her, saying, ‘I took this woman, and when I came near her, I did not find in her evidence of virginity,’
15
then the father of the young woman and her mother shall take and bring out the evidence of her virginity to the elders of the city in the gate.
16
And the father of the young woman shall say to the elders, ‘I gave my daughter to this man to marry, and he hates her;
17
and behold, he has accused her of misconduct, saying, “I did not find in your daughter evidence of virginity.” And yet this is the evidence of my daughter's virginity.’ And they shall spread the cloak before the elders of the city.
Slide2118
Then the elders of that city shall take the man and whip him,
19
and they shall fine him a hundred shekels of silver and give them to the father of the young woman, because he has brought a bad name upon a virgin of Israel. And she shall be his wife. He may not divorce her all his days.
20
But if the thing is true, that evidence of virginity was not found in the young woman,
21
then they shall bring out the young woman to the door of her father's house, and the men of her city shall stone her to death with stones, because she has done an outrageous thing in Israel by whoring in her father's house. So you shall purge the evil from your midst.
Slide221 Corinthians 6:9, 15-20, 7:2
9
Or do you not know that the
unrighteous
will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice
homosexuality…
15
Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? Never!
16
Or do you not know that he who is
joined
to a prostitute becomes one body with her? For, as it is written, “The two will become one flesh.”
17
But he who is joined to the Lord becomes one spirit with him.
18
Flee from sexual immorality. Every other
sin
a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.
19
Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own,
20
for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.
2
But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.
Slide23Matthew 5:27-28
27
“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’
28
But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
Slide24Exodus 22:16-17
16
“If a man seduces a
virgin
who is not betrothed and lies with her, he shall give the
bride-price
for her and make her his wife.
17
If her father utterly refuses to give her to him, he shall pay money equal to the bride-price for virgins.
Slide25Scriptures on Sex AS Marriage
Deuteronomy
22:13-21 again
Deuteronomy
22:28-29, similar to the next one.
Exodus
22:16-17 w/footnote in ESV
Genesis
24:61-67
1
Corinthians 6:15-16
Genesis
2:24?
Joseph
and Mary?
Slide26Deuteronomy 22:13-21
13
“If any man takes a wife and goes in to her and then hates her
14
and accuses her of misconduct and brings a bad name upon her, saying, ‘I took this woman, and when I came near her, I did not find in her evidence of virginity,’
15
then the father of the young woman and her mother shall take and bring out the evidence of her virginity to the elders of the city in the gate.
16
And the father of the young woman shall say to the elders, ‘I gave my daughter to this man to marry, and he hates her;
17
and behold, he has accused her of misconduct, saying, “I did not find in your daughter evidence of virginity.” And yet this is the evidence of my daughter's virginity.’ And they shall spread the cloak before the elders of the city.
Slide2718
Then the elders of that city shall take the man and whip him,
19
and they shall fine him a hundred shekels of silver and give them to the father of the young woman, because he has brought a bad name upon a virgin of Israel. And she shall be his wife. He may not divorce her all his days.
20
But if the thing is true, that evidence of virginity was not found in the young woman,
21
then they shall bring out the young woman to the door of her father's house, and the men of her city shall stone her to death with stones, because she has done an outrageous thing in Israel by whoring in her father's house. So you shall purge the evil from your midst.
Slide28Deuteronomy 22:28-29
28
“If a man meets a virgin who is not betrothed, and seizes her and lies with her, and they are found,
29
then the man who lay with her shall give to the father of the young woman fifty shekels of silver, and she shall be his wife, because he has violated her. He may not divorce her all his days.
Slide29Exodus 22:16-17
16
“If a man seduces a
virgin
who is not betrothed and lies with her, he shall give the
bride-price
for her and make her his wife.
17
If her father utterly refuses to give her to him, he shall pay money equal to the bride-price for virgins
.
“Sexual intercourse was tantamount to marriage, only to be regularized with a ceremony
.” – Lutheran Study Bible footnote
Slide30Genesis 24:61-67
61
Then Rebekah and her young women arose and rode on the camels and followed the man. Thus the servant took Rebekah and went his
way.
62
Now Isaac had returned from Beer-
lahai
-
roi
and was dwelling in the
Negeb
.
63
And Isaac went out to meditate in the field toward evening. And he lifted up his eyes and saw, and behold, there were camels coming.
64
And Rebekah lifted up her eyes, and when she saw Isaac, she dismounted from the camel
65
and said to the servant, “Who is that man, walking in the field to meet us?” The servant said, “It is my master.” So she took her veil and covered herself.
66
And the servant told Isaac all the things that he had done.
67
Then Isaac brought her into the tent of Sarah his mother and took Rebekah, and she became his wife, and he loved her. So Isaac was comforted after his mother's death
.
Slide311 Corinthians 6:15-16
15
Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? Never!
16
Or do you not know that he who is
joined
to a prostitute becomes one body with her? For, as it is written, “The two will become one flesh.”
Slide32Genesis 2:24-25
24
Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
This is an order of events. But, we could read it two ways:
Leave -> Get Married -> Become one (sex)
Leave -> Marry and Become one (sex as marriage)
Slide33Joseph and Mary – Luke 2:1-7
2
In those days a decree went out from Caesar Augustus that all the world should be registered.
2
This was the first registration
when
Quirinius
was governor of Syria.
3
And all went to be registered, each to his own town.
4
And Joseph also went up from Galilee, from the town of Nazareth, to Judea, to the city of David, which is called Bethlehem, because he was of the house and lineage of David,
5
to be registered with Mary, his betrothed
,
who was with child.
6
And while they were there, the time came for her to give birth.
7
And she gave birth to her firstborn son and wrapped him in swaddling cloths and laid him in a manger, because there was no place for them in the inn
.
Why aren’t they married yet?