Finding Our Way Through: - PowerPoint Presentation

1. Finding Our Way Through: Navigating Loss and Grief in First Nation LifeWORKSHOP

2. Choose a partner – it is best if it is someone you do not know wellIntroduce yourself to your partner, then switch and have the other person introduce themselvesAs part of the introduction, identify a personal strength you have that has helped you help another person through loss and griefCome back after 10 minutes and introduce your partnerIntroductions

3. 1. To provide a culturally relevant and supportive environment for health care providers and others providing family support to explore First Nations loss, grief and bereavement.2. To provide an opportunity to develop further awareness, knowledge and skills in reflective practice and processing of personal loss, grief and trauma.Workshop Objectives: Day 1

4. 1. To further understand the unique characteristics of First Nations loss and grief.2. To develop options for helpful responses drawing on the strengths and capacities of First Nation communities.3. To increase capacity to provide care with First Nations individuals, families and communities in their loss, grief, mourning and bereavement work.Workshop Objectives: Day 2

5. Day 1: The Personal Experience of LossLoss, grief, bereavement and mourningUnique First Nation context for loss Personal process for grief work and self careWorkshop Content (1/2)

6. Day 2: The Community Experience of LossCultural values, practices and protocols for loss and griefStrengths, challenges and processes in community Deeply reflective practice and connection to communityWorkshop Content (2/2)

7. Discussion of the creation of a “circle of trust” including commitment to respect, safety, support and confidentialityRoles and responsibilitiesBrief presentations, individual exercises, group circle talks and discussionsCommitment to the awareness of “triggers” and individual and group responses Use of your personal journal to keep track of ideas, insights, thoughts or feelings throughout the workshop that you may want to work with laterWorkshop Process Overview

8. Relationships that are built on trust and respect – not to turn away or try to fixStay present to each other, witness another’s experience while holding back on the urge to fix or offer solutionsFace our own fears and witness others fear, pain and strengthTrust that people must find their way or come to life in their own way and timeCircle of Trust

9. Unconditional loving presence – a “heart space” not a “head space” – a sacred space to honour the soul and its pathTrust – confidentialityRespect, patience and hopeFaith in the person’s ability to listen to their own inner voice (soul) and find their way through using their own truth and inner wisdomCharacteristics of the Circle of Trust

10. Inner guidance only emerges into a quiet, safe and inviting space – we need to sit quietly with one another and allow inner wisdom to come outLike accompanying a person at end of life“The love that exists between two solitudes (people) that protect, border and salute each other” – to be alone togetherSafe Space to Invite Inner Guidance

11. What do you need to feel comfortable and safe in this workshop?What other “ground rules” would help to form a strong circle of trust? Circle of Trust Development Discussion

12. What are the roles and responsibilities of the facilitators?What are the roles and responsibilities of the participants?Roles and Responsibilities Discussion

13. Loss – change or loss of something or someone important in your lifeBereavement – is a state of being that encompasses grief and mourningGrief – is a total human experience and a natural response to the loss of someone or something preciousMourning – the sharing of grief with other humans, family and community who may include gatherings, ritual or ceremony to mark the lossLoss, Grief and Bereavement

14. Grieving is a process that takes time.The process depends on the nature of the loss and the person and their situation.It may take many months or years after a death to fully resolve.Grieving may become complicated and depends on the person and their situation. Grieving

15. Hollowness in stomachTightness in chestHeart palpitationsCannot sleepDiarrhea, no appetite for foodTiredness Taking on symptoms from the deceased Physical / Body (1/4)

16. Anxiety (free floating fear not about anything specific)Depressed moodNumbnessSadnessFearAngerGuiltReliefApathy – not caring about anythingEmotional / Heart (2/4)

17. Disbelief – experience does not seem realConfusion - foggy mind or forgetfulnessCannot concentrate or pay attention to anything for more than a few minutesMental / Mind (3/4)

18. Anger or questioning God or other religious or spiritual beliefs Taking another look at personal faithSearching for meaning of the loss Spiritual /Spirit (4/4)

19. What are some of the experiences you have had with grief?How did you feel it – mind, body, spirit, heart?The Experience of Grief Discussion

20. No set phases or stages or steps – progress not in a line, more a spiralMay differ depending on cultural, religious, spiritual or family backgroundUncomplicated grief related to a death may include:Anticipatory grief (before the death) Acute grief (weeks to months) which may include shock and numbness Anger, bargaining etc.Chronic phase (months to years)Reconciliation Phases of Grief – Loss of a Loved One

21. Each individual has their own experience of grief and will work though the process coming to resolution in their own unique way.As families connect, each individual has their own experience and will be at their own place in the process – it may not match up.As communities connect, again the unique set of experiences of each individual and within families need to be understood at the community level.Individual, Family and Community Connections

22. Community, family and cultural strengthsHistorical loss and trauma – colonization; loss of land, language and culture; residential school and child apprehensionsToday’s reality – many losses within extended families; high death rate; early, unexpected and traumatic or violent death and a backlog of unresolved griefGender roles and the way men and women approach griefSpirituality and religionFirst Nation Loss, Grief, Bereavement and Mourning

23. Form small groups (4 or 5 per group) and share your personal experience of loss, grief and bereavement in family lives and working with othersEngage in a discussion on the personal experiences and insights (45 minutes)Bring back highlights to the larger groupSmall Group Discussion

24. We each have a unique process through which we grow, heal and liveIt is always moving and unfoldingLiving our process is the way we work through the pain of loss and grief“Living in process” is about allowing our experience to surface and expressing it as we heal and relearn wholenessConnection to “the universal” or spirituality is the source of energy for a successful processWe each have a role in allowing our own process and contribute to others around usSelf-awareness and the Process of Living

25. We have mind, body, spirit and heartAll four aspects need to work together and keep moving in order for life to carry onSometimes in our grieving process we get “stuck” in one or more of these aspects and may need help to move along and get back in the “flow” of life and co-creationFour Aspects of Energy

26. Our insights – what we see in ourselves help us to know if we are moving or not and what we need in the way of supportOur intention guides the process and sometimes reality does not live up to what we intend Insights and Intentions

27. To be accepted and not judgedAllowed to express their acute grief in the way that best suits them, their individual beliefs and their cultural, religious or spiritual traditionsSupport from friends and family – may need different types and levels to move through grief and adjust to the loss TimeInformation on normal and complicated griefPhysical needs taken care of – food, water, sleep, exerciseSupport for decision making as independently as possibleSometimes additional grief counselling – talking about the loss, to express feelings, and monitoring for complicated griefWhat People Experiencing Grief May Need

28. Grief reactions that significantly affect the ability to function in your personal and work world for a prolonged period of timeMay involve problems such as severe anxiety or depression, intrusive and persistent thoughts, painful yearnings, excessive feelings of being alone and empty, avoiding tasks and reminders of the lost loved one, sleep problemsProfessional help is neededComplicated Grief

29. Knowing when we have grief work to doFinding an effective process or set of processesAssessing progressMethods – mainstream and culturalComplicated griefAdditional supportsProcessing Grief

30. Open to the presence of your lossDispel misconceptions about griefEmbrace the uniqueness of your griefExplore your feelings of lossRecognize that you are not crazyUnderstanding Grief: Ten Essential Touchstones (1/2)

31. Understand the needs of mourningNurture selfReach out for helpSeek recognition, not resolutionAppreciate your transformationUnderstanding Grief: Ten Essential Touchstones (2/2)

32. Journal ExerciseThink about your own grieving processes Write down what worked and what did not workReflect on what you do that works for self-carePut a star beside those ideas you would like to shareGrief ExerciseGrief – what are some of the thoughts and feelings that surfaced?Stuck – what is your experience of being stuck or sidelined?Me- what kinds of people are in your circle – family? friends? strangers?Love – how is love shared in your life and others?

33. How are you doing this morning?Share one significant learning or new awareness from yesterday.Tell us about your experience of the “circle of trust.”Anything you want changed or added for today?Day 2 – Reflections

34. Grief – what are some of the thoughts and feelings that surfaced?Stuck – what is your experience of being stuck or sidelined?Me – what kinds of people are in your circle – family? friends? strangers? Love – how is love shared in your life- for self and others?Grief Mapping Exercise Debriefing

35. Old and new life waysSimilarities and differencesRespectSharing and caringSpiritualityConnection with the landCultural Values (1/2)

36. InterconnectednessHarmony and balanceExtended familyCollectiveGender specific roles and responsibilitiesGratitudeCultural Values (2/2)

37. Communication, gender and relationshipsExpected behaviourCommunity visits and family eventsCultural laws and practicesCultural Practices and Protocols

38. How do these or other values, practices and protocols take on life in your family or community?How does culture help at times of loss?Discussion on Cultural Values, Practices and Protocols

39. 1. What is our experience as First Nation families, workplaces or community with loss and grief?2. What are some of the strengths and “life giving forces” that we have to work with in building a healthier way to work through loss?3. What are some of the challenges that we face in this area of loss and grief?4. What is missing in our support systems for grieving, bereavement and mourning?5. What ideas do we have on how things could be better in the future?Questions for the Group

40. Cultural Competence is the human relational capacity to seek and find compassionate understanding within, between and among people of differing cultural backgrounds and perspectives. (Hanson, 2009)Cultural Competence

41. Learn to listen to yourself and learn from your experienceFocus on building quality, caring relationships through self-awareness and reaching outEach person is respected and the “circle of trust” is developedFind ways to look at own issues and how they are reflected in your relationship with self and others – mind, body, heart spiritMake time to think and feel deeply in reflecting on your experienceDevelop ways of building support and finding “honest mirrors” or people who care about us and are willing to provide feedback and debriefing supportDeeply Reflective Practice and Building Relationships

42. How have I helped others through loss or seen others provide help?What works and does not work?What kinds of support do I want for me and my family at the time of loss and grief?Discussion on Experiences With Helping Others

43. Companioning is:a life-giving, hope-filled model that incorporates the mind and body as well as the soul and spirita companion – “to accompany, to associate, to comfort, to be familiar with”sees death and grieving as a spiritual journey of the heart and soulassumes a continued relationship of memory beyond deathseeks reconciliation not “recovery”rather than “taking away” normal symptoms it seeks to “watch out for”, to “keep and honor”, to “bear witness”Companioning (1/2)

44. Companioning understands that:mourning needs to occur in doses- at a pace their heads and hearts can managethe principles are:“no rewards for speed”; “not attached to outcome” – there is no destination“divine momentum” – allow the process to flow as it is meant to - the process, all by itself, will lead to healing and reconciliation – trust itopen-heartedness is reflected in humility; unknowing; unconditional love; and “readiness to receive” a fellow human beingCompanioning (2/2)

45. Companioning is about: being present to another person’s pain; it is not about taking it awaygoing into the wilderness of the soul with another human being; it is not thinking you are responsible for finding the way outhonoring the spirit; it is not about focusing on the intellectlistening with the heart; it is not about analyzing with the head bearing witness to the struggles of others; it is not about judging or directing these struggles Tenants of Companioning the Bereaved (1/2)

46. Companioning is about: walking alongside; it is not about leading or being leddiscovering the gifts of sacred silence; it does not mean filling every moment up with wordsbeing still; it not about frantic movement forwardrespecting disorder and confusion; it is not about imposing order and logiclearning from others; it is not about teaching themcuriosity; not about expertiseTenants of Companioning the Bereaved (2/2)

47. To be bereaved is to be “torn apart” – reconciliation is about reconciling with a “new normal”Maslow’s order – physical needs (shelter, food, water, sleep); safety; love and belonging; esteem and self-actualization; transcendence.Reconstruction and reintegration begins at the ground with physical needs and moves up as time goes on; more in a spiral that moves around revisiting similar places and experiences than in a line with “no going back”Reconciliation

48. What do you plan to do for yourself to follow-up from the workshop?What support people or systems do you have in place to help?What new supports might you seek to build capacity for yourself and helping others?What do you see as next steps in self care and self compassion?Self Care and Next Steps Discussion