Tips for success Your grader said you were wordy Omit meaningless modifiers absolutely awfully definitely fine great interesting quite really very Replace wordy phrases at all times ID: 319482
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Slide1
BA4: Revision
Tips for successSlide2
Your grader said you were wordy.
Omit meaningless modifiers
absolutely, awfully, definitely, fine, great, interesting, quite, really, very
Replace wordy phrases
at all times
always
at that point in time
then
at the present time
now, today
due to the fact that
because
for the purpose of
for
in order to
to
in spite of the fact that
although
in the event that
if
Can you eliminate 50 unnecessary words? Can you eliminate 100?Slide3
Eliminate Passive Voice
Mistakes were made.
We made mistakes.
Miley
Cyrus is influenced by Lady Gaga.
Lady Gaga influences
Miley
Cyrus.
The song was performed by
Miley
Cyrus.
Miley
Cyrus performed the song.
It was decided that
Miley
Cyrus should never appear on TV again.
They decided that
Miley
should never appear on TV again.Slide4
Your grader said your writing could benefit from improved organization.
Topic sentences
Discuss the literature rather than the topic.
Discuss trends and debates rather than specific people.
Do topic sentences coordinate with your thesis? Slide5
Your grader said your writing was choppy.
https://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/574/02/
Use transitional words and phrases for increased flow.Slide6
Your grader said your tone was unprofessional.
Eliminate personal pronouns like “you” and “me” and “my” and opinion phrases like “I think” or “I believe.”
Avoid personal examples.
Eliminate contractions.
Refer to scholars by their last names.
Avoid making arguments about the topic.Slide7
Your grader said you were under the word count.
Find another article to discuss.
Include another sub-point in your thesis.
Discuss methodologies.
Discuss rhetorical strategies.
Introduce your scholars!Slide8
Your grader said you’ve written a research paper and not a literature review.
Are you spending too much time on one article?
Summarize briefly and then move on to comparisons with other articles. Remember, the majority of your paragraph should focus on relationships.
Summarize on your way to making a point:
The article, which asserts that spanking negatively affects a child’s ability to make friends in junior high, provided a case study that many subsequent articles have cited.
The study, which interviewed over fifty couples about their feelings toward spanking, found that women are often the instigators of spanking. These results directly contradict the work of Scholar A, whose own study of two thousand couples found that men are the likely instigators of spanking. Slide9
Your grader said your writing was filled with typos.
Have a friend or roommate read it aloud to you. Take notes. When your friend stumbles on a word or phrase, rewrite it for clarity.
Read your paper sentence by sentence, starting with the last sentence.
Use spell check.
Visit the Writing Center.Slide10
BA4
How does this revision better suit your audience?
Audience – professional, academic, scholarly
If you made your writing more professional
If you eliminated typos and grammatical errors
If you eliminated wordiness
How have you refined the purpose of your paragraph/paper?
Purpose – to synthesize, to compare/contrast, to discuss relationships, to explain trends, to detail debates or methodologies or rhetorical strategies
If you introduced your scholars
If you eliminated summary in favor of synthesis
If you added another example
How did you more adequately convey what you mean?
Meaning – to clarify, to simplify, to avoid distracting language, to streamline
If you improved the organization by adding topic sentences
If you improved the flow with transitional phrases
If you eliminated wordiness
If you eliminated typos and grammatical errorsSlide11
Remember . . .
Include your thesis,
Your original paragraph,
Your revised paragraph,
And a paragraph discussing the changes you made, in which you mention audience, purpose, and meaning. Slide12
Looking Ahead . . .
1.2 Due October 18
th
Pages 191-2 in your textbook for help with introductions and conclusions
Make an appointment now with the Writing Center.