Pauls IDP Practicum Fall 2013 1 From FacetoFace to Online Redesigning English 102 Writing with Power and Persuasion ID: 625804
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Paul’s IDP: Practicum Fall 2013
1
From Face-to-Face to Online:
Redesigning English 102: Writing with Power and PersuasionSlide2
1. How well did you conform to the Learning Contract (IDP)? Be specific. What did you say you would do and how did you do it?I believe I satisfactorily fulfilled the objectives of my learning contract. However, two tasks (class design and grammar backgrounder) proved somewhat overwhelming, and I did not develop the resources listing or evaluation plan section to the extent that I had planned. I provided a focused list of resources that students could explore issues grammar and writing issues on their own, but I did not include all that I planned. However, I am not sure if a larger list would be better. A longer list might prove overwhelming and, in the desire to be comprehensive, I might end up including some resources of lower quality. Consequently, I opted for a more focused and select selection. 2. What changes have you made in your IDP as a result of the feedback from your classmates and the teacher in Weeks 6 and 7? Be specific, documenting your changes. I made a number of changes to my IDP based on the comments of my colleagues and instructor. The comments focused on the class design map and the grammar backgrounder. I responded to three main recommendations for the map:Redesigning the cover and organization to clarify order and reduce confusionReducing the number of tasks per module. Some reviewers thought the amount of work was excessiveEnsuring that the map will integrate properly with course materials and web pages to ensure consistency and clarity of presentation.I made extensive changes to the grammar backgrounder, because a number of comments focused on and the difficulty students might have in finding the information they wanted in such a large document.
I made certain that the six main sections could stand alone. I created a hyperlinked table of contents for the entire document, as well as hyperlinked tables of contents for each section to serve as kind of an index to each topic. I also added new sections to group materials more successfully and broke up overly large sections into smaller ones. Adding the table of contents makes it easier for students to view items separately and on different occasions.I expanded the glossary and made it more prominent, added a section on resources, and rewrote passages that some reviewers found confusing.
IDP Reflection
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3. What might you have included in your IDP if you had more time?If I had had more time, I would have expanded the resources and evaluation plan sections. I would have redesigned the map as part of complete module plan to provide a more comprehensive perspective. In this way, I could see how successfully the components worked with each other and were they sufficiently balanced. With more time, I have redesigned the backgrounder as a series separate presentations. I would also avail myself of other media, such as video and voiceover to appeal to the different learning styles of my students and make the presentation more engaging. 4. What are the strong points of your IDP materials? I think the backgrounder is comprehensive and engaging, and I believe students will find it entertaining, memorable, and useful enough to be a valuable resource. I have tried to turn the stodgy study of grammar into a more pleasurable activity. I believe that my class design addresses many of the issues students and writers need to face, such as the volume of information and the degree of which much of it is misleading and poorly sourced. I believe that my evaluation plan has some unique ideas, such as the creation of a small group of students to communicate class concerns and discuss ways to improve the course. 5. What are the weak points of your IDP materials? I think I have addressed most of the weaknesses; however, I know that the backgrounder is still too cumbersome and needs to be better organized and enhanced with student needs in mind. I need to redesign all four of my IDP deliverables to address access issue for people with disabilities. As I said, both the resources and evaluation components need to be expanded.
IDP Reflection
3Slide4
6. How did the feedback from your colleagues help make your project better? As evidenced by the changes made to the IDP, I was well served by the suggestions of the class and my instructor. When I presented the first draft, there were some clear problems of organization and confusion. The feedback enabled to make the components more understandable, easier to use, and more focused.7. To whom did YOU give good feedback?I think I gave good feedback to Mary Pat in regards to how she could improve the technological aspects of her presentation to make it more professional and engaging. I also made suggestions about her personal presentation on screen. I also think I gave Candace some valuable feedback on her rubric that would give average students unsatisfactory of failing scores.
IDP Reflection
4Slide5
The IDP Promise (LINK)IDP TemplateTask One: Course Design Map (LINK)Task Two: Grammar Background (LINK)Task Two B: Online Resource Guide(LINK)Task Three: Learner Feedback Plan
(LINK)Responses to Initial Feedback on Course Design Map (LINK)Revised Course Design Map (LINK)Responses to Initial Feedback on Grammar Backgrounder
(LINK)Resources Inventory
(LINK)
Leaner Feedback Plan (Initial Draft)
(LINK)
Course Design Map Prepared for Class on the Sixties
(LINK)
Table of Contents
5Slide6
6
The Original IDP: The Promise
In several weeks,
I will
begin
teaching my first online course, Composition 102, which focuses on writing and culminates in a 10-page research paper. I have taught the course face-to-face several
times, and I am eager to teach it online. The
online course
has already been designed, and I have little opportunity to put my own stamp upon it. However
, I decided to use the Practicum as an opportunity to design the course as I would wish to teach it. Consequently, my IDP included four elements that would be central to designing my own course:Design plan (class map)A backgrounder focusing on style and grammar
A plan for ongoing course evaluationA list of course resources
These are essentially all new materials; however, they are based on projects that I have done before. The design plan is similar to the one I prepared for ION Instructional Design for Course Development Course
(LINK). The
backgrounder was drawn, in part, from material that I have developed while teaching English 102. However, it was significantly revised.Slide7
IDP Template Task 1: Design Map 7
Rubric Category
Specific Criteria. Details from the QOCI.
What you are going to change/create?
Pedagogical rationale. Why is this important?
Evidence – How will a reviewer know you have accomplished this task? What will we see?
Instructional Design
Course Information—Content: “A clear concise list of modules and activities that will be completed within each of the course modules/ chapters/topics is provided.”
Design Map: I will create a design map (similar to an organization chart) of the course I plan to teach. The map will be a schematic that will portray the introductory and orientation material and each of the 10-12 modules. (Since, I have not developed the plan, I am unsure about the number of modules at this point.) The initial pages will include outlines of welcoming material and information on the instructor, communications links and procedures, class structure, interaction opportunities, academic and institutional support and resources, and other material as required. Each module will include a description of the module and lists of readings, resources, assignments, and reflection/evaluation opportunities.
It is especially important in online teaching to have a clear, well-defined plan for a course to ensure that it will address specific goals and objectives and focus on achieving defined learning outcomes. My design map will be a visual depiction of the course week by week, module by module. I will design my hypothetical map to ensure that future students would be able to understand the basic components of the course, when activities would occur, and what would be expected of them. In addition, a systematic representation of the course’s approach to online teaching would help my students and me visualize how the course will meet course objectives and deliver the learning outcomes that would have been identified in the course syllabus.
I will create a design map and post it as a PDF document.Slide8
8
Rubric Category
Specific Criteria. Details from the QOCI.
What you are going to change/create?
Pedagogical rationale. Why is this important?
Evidence – How will a reviewer know you have accomplished this task? What will we see?
2. Learner and Course Resources
Academic Resources: “A list of academic resources with links to the institution’s library, tutoring center, counseling services and other resources is provided.”
Grammar Backgrounder: I will create an online grammar backgrounder that will help students address specific problems preventing them from writing prose that is grammatically and stylistically correct. The backgrounder will use colorful graphics, occasional animations, and humor to eliminate some of the drudgery of learning correct grammar.
It has been my experience, as well as those of many of my colleagues, that there are a handful of grammatical problems common to many of our students. These difficulties undercut the effectiveness and credibility of their writing. By focusing on these problems in class, I strive to help my students tackle these issues. I focus on four problem areas: run-on sentences and comma splices, comma use, subject and verb agreement, and active versus passive voice. When students overcome these problems, their writing improves significantly.
Although they would study these issues in the regular course of study, students would need to review these materials and refresh their knowledge of particular grammar rules to develop their capacities to apply them effectively and consistently.
My supplemental backgrounder would benefit my students, because it would give them a single resource for them to consult when they have a question or want to review a grammar topic or rule
Although there are numerous excellent resources available online today, I believe a customized backgrounder is necessary for the class, because it would be personalized to their needs, designed to attract and keep their attention, and address the issues in entertaining ways. Students find many existing resources dry and uninviting.
I will create a grammar backgrounder and post it as a Microsoft Word or PowerPoint document.
Template Task 2: Grammar BackgrounderSlide9
9
Rubric Category
Specific Criteria. Details from the QOCI.
What you are going to change/create?
Pedagogical rationale. Why is this important?
Evidence – How will a reviewer know you have accomplished this task? What will we see?
2B. Learner and Course Resources
Academic Resources: “A list of academic resources with links to the institution’s library, tutoring center, counseling services and other resources is provided.”
I will create an online guide to help students find useful online and print resources on writing and research. The guide will include descriptions of books, websites, quizzes, podcasts, and other material that I have used personally and/or reviewed for quality, usefulness, and accessibility. The guide will also include descriptions of and links to some of the best research resources (e.g. the U.S. Academies of Science, the World Health Organization, and the World Bank websites) available online.
Developing excellent research, writing, and critical thinking and reading skills is a lifelong occupation that requires ongoing development and practice. We cannot cover every aspect of good writing in the class. Nor can we review many of the best research resources available in class. There is a pedagogical need for enabling and encouraging students to avail themselves of the best available resources to supplement class material and to expand and enhance their learning during the class and after they complete the course.
There are a number of valuable resources that students can find online, in their local library and bookstore, and via online vendors (e.g. Amazon). Given the multitude of resources available, it can be difficult to identify the best and most useful of them. The guide will help students find and obtain the best and avoid the worst.
I will create a guide of useful resources on writing, critical reading and thinking, grammar, and research. The guide will include hyperlinks when appropriate. I will post the guide as a Microsoft Word document.
IDP Template Task 2B: Online GuideSlide10
10
Rubric Category
Specific Criteria. Details from the QOCI.
What you are going to change/create?
Pedagogical rationale. Why is this important?
Evidence – How will a reviewer know you have accomplished this task? What will we see?
3. Course Evaluation
“Opportunities for learner feedback throughout the course on issues surrounding the course’s physical structure . . . instructional strategies . . . [and] on course content are provided.”
I will create an evaluation plan to encourage and collect ongoing learner feedback. The plan will be designed to enable me to gain a clear understanding of the students’ perceptions of the value of the learning experience, how well they feel they are doing, how they believe the course can be improved, and how well they are meeting class objectives and achieving learning outcomes. The evaluation strategy will include a variety of tactics in order to ensure that
Students feel comfortable enough to make candid and useful criticisms
Evaluation information is gathered in time to allow me to address student concerns and needs while adjustments can still be of benefit to current students
Evaluation processes are easy to use, facilitate continual improvement, and provide students with a suitable number of options for input
Provide enough data and observations to permit ongoing transformation of current and future courses.
Given the absence of face-to-face interaction in online classes, instructors cannot rely on some of the more traditional and immediate ways of determining how well students understand the material and are making sufficient progress.
Consequently, it is critical that online instructors develop strategies to assess and improve course content, teaching methods, assessment techniques, class interaction, and student learning. Course evaluations need to be done frequently and effectively to ensure that students have numerous opportunities to raise concerns and recommend improvements and that allow instructors to implement changes that address student criticism in a timely fashion. By completing a comprehensive evaluation strategy that meets all of these requirements well before the first day of class, I would be prepared to identify and respond to student concerns and needs quickly and effectively during the course.
I will develop and a comprehensive evaluation plan and post it as a Microsoft Word document.
IDP Template Task 3: Class Evaluation PlanSlide11
11Course Design Map: Feedback & Responses
Focus of FeedbackFeedback Change
Design Issues
”
I was confused by the initial hexagon which displays modules in correct order that then inverts the order of activities from Final Paper to Power and Persuasion.”
“ I liked the consistency of the hexagons(although something about those nested hexagons looked very 60's or maybe 70's to me, not that that's a bad thing.”
“I was confused by the initial hexagon which displays modules in correct order that then inverts the order of activities from Final Paper to Power and Persuasion. “
The Design Map cover was re-designed in
an effort to clarify order, reduce confusion and provide a more contemporary look.
Student Assignment Headings and
Work Load
“I have to say, the course seemed like a lot of work to me.”
“Sometimes a header is "Test", and sometimes it is "Take" - I would be consistent.”
“Module 4 and after - are Create, Post and Respond and Write and Post the same assignment or different?”
I have reduced the number of tasks from four
per module to three. For the sake of consistency and to reduce confusion, I have replaced all the words “Test” with “Take” and “Create” with “ Write.”
Deliverables
“Even though it was well organized I didn't like to have to scroll through so much information to see what was required for the course. When I take a course, one of the first things I like to do is to see all the deliverables laid out so I can get a sense of how much work is entailed to can begin to pace myself.”
This is an excellent comment,
and it will be addressed.
This document is intended to go along with a calendar and list of assignments and other materials, which will
resolve this issue.Slide12
Revised Design Map—Cover12Slide13
Revised Design Map—Introduction13Slide14
Revised Design Map—Module One14Slide15
Revised Design Map—Module Two15Slide16
Revised Design Map—Module Three16Slide17
Revised Design Map—Module Four17Slide18
Revised Design Map—Module 518Slide19
Revised Design Map—Module 619Slide20
Revised Design Map—Module Seven20Slide21
Revised Design Map—Module 821Slide22
22Focus of Feedback
Feedback ChangeOrganization
”
It's a hard document to review in this way because it was long and dense. . . . I think you would have to stress to your students that they should use this document as an index. If they sit down and try to read it from start to finish, it begins to get frustrating because there are so many detailed cases and examples and after a while they begin to sound the same.”
“This is a great deal of information that would benefit from a hyperlinked table of contents so that students could pick and choose topics of interest.”
“Perhaps the PPT could be broken up into a sequence of shorter PPTs to help students stay focused on meaningful chunks of information. I wondered whether an audio read-aloud button linked to a short MP3 file would help with lengthy texts and break-up the manner of presentation.
Bullet points or numbering lists of examples might help students understand the extent of information.”
I
found these comments to be particularly useful and have attempted to address these concerns as fully as possible. I created a hyperlinked table of contents for the main sections and hyperlinked tables of contents for each section. I also added new sections to break-up the material more completely.
The main table of contents also serves to clarify the purpose of each section to enable to students to view them separately and review them in not particular order but according to interest and need.
Design Considerations
“Center-Justified Rule Lists were confusing. I would further separate grammar rules that are followed by examples in an outline format rather than a paragraph format with parenthesis.
“The background color on my computer is really dark and I had a hard time seeing it.”
“I reached for my quilt template that identifies color contrast and the light blue color choice against the teal blue was more difficult to read. The white on royal blue was easy to read like a chalkboard. “
The
presentation has a totally new design scheme to address these concerns. First, I redid all the font colors to ensure easier reading. However, this was not sufficient. Consequently, I did a lengthy re-design. I also eliminated center-justified lists an other changes for clarity. I rewrote and added pages, added or replaced visuals, and eliminated unnecessary text.
Grammar Backgrounder:
Feedback &
ResponsesSlide23
23Focus of Feedback
Feedback ChangeQuality Control
“There are numerous typos, or words that are left out, and I began to write them down but gave up after a while.”
“I found it ironic that some of the slides that were copied from the OWL which were about using punctuation to make yourself understood, were themselves sometimes almost incomprehensible! “
I realize
there were typos and missing words. Responding to all of these excellent suggestions has taken longer than anticipated, and I am sure I have introduced new errors and have missed ones. Consequently, we will continue to look for errors and correct them. The Purdue OWL rules and the “Bless the Coma” slide that preceded them have been combined, because they were repetitive. I rewrote the grammar rules in my own words and eliminated many of the more technical rules listed in the OWL slides, which proved more confusing to students than helpful. We covered these more generally in “Bless the Comma.”
Glossary
“The rules are essential and use controlled vocabulary that suggests a glossary of terms might be a useful study aid for background knowledge or review. I wonder if a checklist of key rules and examples on one page in a table format as a separate handout would offer the benefits of a cheat sheet or summary for review to self-assess student writing.”
Actually,
the original version had the beginnings of a glossary, but it was not well developed nor was it prominent. (You had to click on hyperlinked words to realize it was there.) I have made it a separate section with its own title slide and put it in the table of contents. I have also added new words to it. However, it clearly needs to be expanded even further. Words in the text are hyperlinked to the glossary. I will create separate handouts and summary table either in the next version of the backgrounder or later as we develop the backgrounder for classes. This will be a never ending process of evolution and enhancement.
Suitability
I must be honest and say that most images were meaningful, clever, or thought provoking. But a few I was not sure about, i.e. Finish Your Beer There’s Sober Kids in India.
For
the most part, the feedback has been positive regarding the humor. However, I do agree with the remarks about the slide about beer and India. (It is wrong on so many levels.) I also think some of the attempts at humor have some overly pejorative connotations (e.g. “He sure is ugly”), which should be and are being reconsidered.
Grammar Backgrounder:
Feedback &
ResponsesSlide24
Grammar Backgrounder
English 102: Writing with Power and Persuasion
Th
is overview of grammar, punctuation and style will help you write with greater clarity, accuracy and power. You should be fully fluent with all of this material by the end of the course. To review the PowerPoint effectively
P
lease put the presentation into slide
s
how mode (The numerous animations and many slides will look like gibberish in in normal view)
Left click your mouse to advance the slides. After you advance the slide, look out for the instruction “Please Left Click” to launch animations.
24Slide25
The Sentence (LINK)The sentence is the key component of all writing. Words are separate, isolated entities until they are placed in understandable order in sentences, which give logic and sense to all writing. Understanding how to write great sentences is the basis of excellent writing. Punctuation (LINK)Good punctuation is necessary for clear communication. This section focuses on the most common issue in punctuation. We focus on the comma, which enables use to clarify what we are trying to say and eliminate confusion and misunderstanding.Common Errors (LINK)Whether it is confusing words that sound alike (homonyms), such “to” and “too” or “they’re,” “their” and “there”) or pronouns that do not have a clear antecedent (the original word that they are intended to represent), there are common mistakes that many writers make repeatedly. This section focuses on avoiding committing bedeviling errors.
Table of Contents (Main Sections)
25Slide26
4. Proof, Proof, Proof (LINK)Solid proofreading is the best tool for avoiding mistakes, typographical errors, and embarrassment. In this section, you can find tips for becoming a successful proofreader and easily enhance the quality of your writing.Short, Sweet and Precise (LINK)Writers should strive to be as precise, understandable, and to the point as possible to ensure accuracy, brevity, and clarity. This section examines how to avoid unnecessary words, redundancy, and colloquial terms and slang that are inappropriate in a formal paper. It also looks at active and passive voice. You should use active voice, because it is more direct, dynamic, and concise. Resources for Writers
(LINK)A selection of books, websites and other resources that will enable you to up your game and become a better writer.7. Glossary (LINK)The glossary is a place to refresh your memory about the meaning of some key words. Many of the words in the text are hyperlinked to this glossary, and each word is hyperlinked back to the page where it is first used.
Table of Contents (Main Sections)
26Slide27
The SentenceSlide 5: The Sentence: The Key to Grammar LINKSlides 6-7: Great Sentences LINKSlide 8: The Anatomy of an almost Perfect Sentence LINKSlide 9: Independent and Dependent Clauses LINKSlide 10: Run-On Sentences LINKSlides 11-12: Comma Splices LINKSlide 13: Free the Preposition LINK
Slide 14: Pronoun Case LINKSlide 15: Rules, Rules, Rules LINKSlide 16: Subject—Verb Agreement LINKSlide 17: Collective Nouns LINK2. PunctuationSlide 21: Punctuation Makes a Difference (LINK)Slides 22-23: Bless the Comma (LINK)
Slide 24: More on Parenthetical Expressions (LINK)Slide 25: The Comma’s Identity Crisis (LINK
)Slide 26: A Comma—The Difference between Life and Death
(LINK)
Slide 27: The Panda Eats Shoots and Leaves (LINK)
Table
of Contents
27Slide28
2. Punctuation (Cont.)Slide 28: Commas and Modifiers (LINK)Slide 29: An Exercise on Commas (LINK)Slide 30: The Dash (LINK)Slides 31-33: The Hyphen and its Roles (LINK)
Slide 34-37: Conon-oscopy: Examining the Colon (LINK)3. Common ErrorsSlide 40: Headline Writer Headaches (LINK)Slide 41: Can’t We just Get Along (LINK)Slides 42-44: Common Errors (LINK)Slide 45: To vs. Too (LINK)Slides 46-47: Seven Special Rules to Live by in Formal
(LINK)Slide 48: Choose Words Wisely (LINK)
4. Proof, Proof, ProofSlide 51: The Glaring Error
(LINK)
Slide 52: Why We Proofread (LINK)
Slides 53: A Common—and Embarrassing—Error (LINK)Slides 54-55: Proofreading Tips
(LINK)
Punctuation: Table of Contents
28Slide29
5. Short, Sweet & PreciseSlide 58: The Experts Agree; Brevity is a Virtue in Writing (LINK)Slide 59: Words to Avoid; Filler Words (LINK)Slide 60: Don’t Double Team the Reader (LINK)Slide 61: Words to Avoid: Colloquialisms (LINK)Slide 62: Cutting Words Down to Size (LINK)Slide 65-69: Active Voice vs. Passive Voice (LINK)
6. Resources (LINK)7. Glossary (LINK)
Proof, Proof, Proof: Table of Contents
29Slide30
30Understanding sentence structure is fundamental to great writing.
PART 1—The Sentence
Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created
equal.Slide31
The SentenceSlide 5: The Sentence: The Key to Grammar LINKSlides 6-7: Great Sentences LINKSlide 8: The Anatomy of an almost Perfect Sentence LINKSlide 9: Independent and Dependent Clauses LINKSlide 10: Run-On Sentences LINKSlides 11-12: Comma Splices LINKSlide 13: Free the Preposition
LINKSlide 14: Pronoun Case LINKSlide 15: Rules, Rules, Rules LINKSlide 16: Subject—Verb Agreement LINKSlide 17: Collective Nouns LINK
The Sentence: Table of Contents
31Slide32
“If one understands that a sentence is a structure of logical relationships and that the number of relationships involved is finite, one understands too that there is only one error to worry about, the error of being illogical and only one rule to follow: make sure that every component of your sentences is related to the other components in a way that is clear and unambiguous.”Stanley Fish, How to Write a Sentence:And How to Read OneThe Key to GrammarFocus on the Sentence and Integrating its Parts32
Dangling ParticipleSingular PronounPlural Noun
Singular VerbMissing Conjunction
Sentence Fragment
Misplaced ModifierSlide33
It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen.George Orwell, 1984Many years later, as he faced the firing squad, Colonel Aureliano Buendía was to remember that distant afternoon when his father took him to discover ice. Gabriel García Márquez, One Hundred Years of SolitudeIt was a queer, sultry summer, the summer they electrocuted the Rosenbergs, and I didn’t know what I was doing in New York.
Sylvia Plath, The Bell JarAll this happened, more or less.Kurt Vonnegut, Slaughterhouse-FiveGreat SentencesA great sentence communicates captures your attention, inducing you to read on. These opening lines of exceptional novels all share the same trait. After you read the first sentence, you cannot help but move on to the second.
33Slide34
There was a boy called Eustace Clarence Scrubb, and he almost deserved it. C.S. Lewis, The Voyage of the Dawn TreaderYou better not never tell nobody but God. Alice Walker, The Color PurpleShips at a distance have every man’s wish on board.
Zora Neale Hurston, Their Eyes Were Watching GodIt was a pleasure to burn. Ray Bradbury, Fahrenheit 451The sky above the port was the color of television, tuned to a dead channel.William Gibson, NeuromancerI write this sitting in the kitchen sink.
Dodie Smith, I Capture the Castle
Great Sentences, Part II
34Slide35
It was in the books while it was still in the sky.John Updike (Quoted in Stanley Fish, How to Write a Sentence: And How to Read One)
Subject
Subject
Conjunction
Predicate
Predicate
The Anatomy of an Near Perfect Sentence
Please Left Click
35
Stanley Fish sees this as an almost perfect sentence. Written by John Updike, it describes what it was like to see baseball Hall of Famer Ted Williams hit
a home run in his last at bat in Fenway
Park. According to Fish, “The
fulcrum of the sentence is
‘while.’” One side of the pivot point is a metaphor: this moment will be described “in the book” before it hits the ground. On the other side, the ball “was still
in the sky” in three senses.
It has “not yet
landed,” “its
motion is
arrested,” and it will “remain
forever, in the sky of the books, in the record of the game’s highest, most soaring achievements
.” With the two clauses balancing on the word “while,” the sentence epitomizes how this memorable moment instantly became frozen in the memory of the writer and the history of baseball.
Fish, Stanley (2011-01-25). How to Write a Sentence: And How to Read
One
(Kindle
Locations 167-173). HarperCollins. Kindle Edition. Slide36
36Independent and Dependent Clauses
An
independent clause
is a group of words that contains a
subject and a predicate
and expresses a complete thought. “Grandpa Jody knows how to rap.”
A
dependent clause
is a group of words that contains a subject and verb but does not express a complete thought.
“When Grandpa Jody raps”It is essential to be able to recognize the difference between independent and dependent clauses, because you can make serious grammatical errors if you do not. Purdue Online Writing Lab has an excellent fact sheet on the topic.
It also has a very short exercise. Use the exercise to make sure you understand the concept. Slide37
What is a run-on sentence?A run-on sentence has two or more independent clauses without proper punctuation. For example,He wears his silly costume everywhere he thinks he’s Iron Man.“How do you fix a run-on sentence?”It depends on what you want to say (see table).
37
Punctuate
to Indicate the Connection between the Two Thoughts
Use a period to separate thoughts
He wears his silly costume everywhere. He thinks he’s Iron Man.
Use
a semi-colon
to link the ideas
He wears his silly costume everywhere; he thinks he’s Iron Man
.
Use
a
conjunction with comma to indicate
Causality
He wears his silly costume everywhere,
because h
e thinks he’s Iron Man.
Clarification
He wears his silly costume everywhere,
but not when he goes to work.
Time
He wears his silly costume everywhere,
even during his early morning jog.
Use
a semi-colon and adverbial conjunction for
variety
He wears his silly Iron Man costume everywhere;
however, he is harmless.
Run-On SentencesSlide38
The Comma Splice
The
comma splice
is
all too common.
and
Please Left Click
38Slide39
39
The Comma Splice
What is a
comma splice
?
A sentence that has two or more independent clauses with a comma but not a conjunction is a comma splice. For example,
He slept until noon every day, he goes to bed early.
How do you fix a comma
s
plice?
It depends on what you want to say (see table).
Punctuate
to Indicate the Connection between the Two Thoughts
Use a period to separate the thoughts
He sleeps until noon every day.
H
e goes to bed early
.
Use
a semi-colon
to link the ideas
He sleeps until noon every day;
h
e goes
to bed early
.
Use a conjunction and comma to
Emphasize
c
ausality
He sleeps until noon every day,
because he has narcolepsy.
Provide
c
larification
He
sleeps until noon every day,
except when he get his paycheck.
Indicate
t
ime
He sleeps until noon every day,
and goes to bed early every night.
Use
a semi-colon and adverbial conjunction
He sleeps until noon every day;
nonetheless, h
e goes to bed early
.Slide40
Free the Preposition! Never end a sentence with a preposition?
This is an outdated rule that was based on a old view of Latin usage. If we insist on this construction, our language will become clumsier. Sometimes, ending a sentence with a preposition can be elegant (see below).
“We are the ones we have been waiting for.”
This is much better than the “correct” version.“We are the ones for whom we have been waiting
.”
A Relevant Conversation
Old-Fashioned Grammarian:
“Ouch!”
Hip Grammarian:
“Are you hurt? What did you step on?”Old-Fashioned Grammarian: “Never end a sentence with a preposition. You should say on what did you step?”Hip Grammarian: “Ok, What did you step on, IDIOT?”
40Slide41
Pronoun CaseThree Cases: Subjective, Objective, and Possessive. Pronouns in the subjective case act as subjects. I, you, he, she, we, they, it, whoPronouns in the objective case act as direct objects, indirect objects, and objects of prepositions. me, you, him, her, us,
them, whoPronouns in the possessive case indicate ownership adjectives. my, mine, your, yours, his, her, hers, it, its, our, ours,their, theirs, whose For Example,I grabbed my book from off the desk, because it belonged to me, but Sheldon and Thad snatched it from me, because they said it was theirs.
41Slide42
Rules, Rules, RulesUse "who" and "whoever" as subject
pronouns, for example
“Knock, knock.”
“Who's there?”
“Please hold.”“Please hold whom.”“Your
knock is important to me and will
be answered in the order it was
knocked.”
Use "whom" and "whomever" as object pronouns.For example “To whom it may concern, I will all my worldly possession to my dearest friend, my poodle Jezebel.”Is it who or whom?
42Slide43
Subject-Verb AgreementDo not Confuse the Subject with the Object of the Preposition Prepositional phrasesPreposition [e.g. "of," "at," and "in“] + Object [noun or pronoun]"Each of them is distinct." "The suggestions in his proposal have merit."
Subject
ObjectVerb
Please Left Click
43Slide44
Collective Nouns are Singular . . . Most of the timeEveryone knows your family is dysfunctional.Nearly 25% of the population is Muslim.But Sometimes . . .A singular collective noun expresses a plural idea and needs a plural verb. Our staff work hard to meet their goals and deadlines.The orchestra are tuning their instruments.
The cast have been practicing their lines.
Collective Nouns
https://
www.youtube.com/watch?v=xGMJtog25eI
Common
Collective Nouns
Army
Audience
Board
Cabinet
Class
Committee
Company
Corporation
Council
Department
Faculty
Family
Firm
Group
Jury
Majority
Minority
Navy
Public
School
Senate
Society
Team
Troupe
44Slide45
45
PART 2: Punctuation
I bet the dishes are not too clean either.Slide46
2. PunctuationSlide 21: Punctuation Makes a Difference (LINK)Slides 22-23: Bless the Comma (LINK)Slide 24: More on Parenthetical Expressions (LINK)Slide 25: The Comma’s Identity Crisis (LINK)Slide 26: A Comma—The Difference between Life and Death (LINK)Slide 27: The Panda Eats Shoots and Leaves (LINK)
Slide 28: Commas and Modifiers (LINK)Slide 29: An Exercise on Commas—What is wrong with these sentences? (LINK)Slide 30: The Dash (LINK)Slides 31-33: The Hyphen and its Roles (LINK)Slide 34-37: Conon-oscopy: Examining the Colon
(LINK)
Punctuation: Table of Contents
46Slide47
A woman: without her, man is nothing.
A woman withouther man is nothing.
Punctuation Makes a Difference.
47Slide48
We would be lost without the comma, which enables us to provide unambiguous communication byMarking off sequences of words and phrases or words where there are no conjunctions or only a final conjunction. For example, “During Thanksgiving dinner, Mark managed to enrage his mother, father, both sisters, his brother, Aunt Flo, Uncle Linus, Father Jim, and the next-door neighbor.”Introducing quotations“She said, ‘Some village is missing its idiot.’”Clarifying meaning and preventing ambiguity. Without the comma for example, we would assume Huey, Dewey, and Louie were not Donald Duck’s nephews, but three other cabinet members:“I had a horrible dream that Donald Trump was president and he named Rush Limbaugh, Mr. Ed, Donald Duck’s nephews Huey, Dewey, and Louie,And the Three Stooges to his cabinet.”
Preventing run-on sentences by separating two independent clauses when used with conjunctions. For example,“Hate the sin, but love the sinner.”Bless the CommaThe Comma, Agent of Clarification48Slide49
Separating two or more adjectives that describe the same noun. For example,“My mean-spirited, vicious, ignorant, bigoted friend is a great guy.”Indicating distinct pauses or shifts in tone. For example,“Call me a cab.” “Ok you’re a cab, stupid twit.”
Setting parenthetical expressions apart from the rest of the sentence. For example,“She, beautiful and aloof, walk toward me, and I, trembling and pale, ran away.”“Nancy waved enthusiastically at the docking ship, laughing joyously.”“If you are the smartest person you know, you must hang with a pretty dumb crowd.”Setting off long propositional phrases (4 words or more)“In the heat of the moment, he swore angrily.”
Bless the Comma (continued)
The Comma, Agent of Clarification
49Slide50
What is a parenthetical expression?A parenthetical expression is a phrase that is not central to the main idea of the sentence. We pause when we speak these phrases and use commas when we write them. They are toAdd unnecessary, but useful information. “Kristen Stewart used to be my favorite actress, but Jennifer Lawrence, the winner of the Academy Award for Best Actress in 2013, is my favorite one now.”Provide clarifying information“The student over there, the one wearing the top hat and tails, made a very strange comment about the party.”Introduce a sentence After the movie, I tried to give her a kiss, but she burst out laughing.While he was not as ugly as she said, he sure was ugly.Words that begin introductory, parenthetical clauses includeafter, although, as, because, if, since, when, and while
More on Parenthetical Expressions50Slide51
When the words “a,” “an” or “some,” or a number, come before the description or identification of a name, use a comma.
The Comma’s Identity Crisis
Cecelia saw the movie,
Catching Fire, with her friend, Sabrina.
Use a comma only if the name or phrase is the only one of its kind.
Use comma if
Taken 2
is the only movie in the world.
Use comma if Sabrina is Cecelia’s only friend.
Cecelia saw her favorite movie,
Taken 2
, with her oddest friend, Sabrina.
Cecelia saw the movie
Taken 2
with her friend Sabrina.
Cecelia saw a movie,
Taken 2,
with
three friends, Sabrina,
Philicia
, and
Denitia
.
Please Left Click
51Slide52
52A Comma: the Difference between Life and DeathLet’s eat grandma!,She is so sweet!
Remove the commaAnd you change the meaning
Please Left ClickSlide53
53The panda eats shoots and leaves.It’s this without a comma,Add a comma . . .
And it’s thisThanks to Lynne Truss for this classic example of the misplaced comma and her wonderful book Eats Shoots & Leaves: The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation.Please Left ClickSlide54
Commas and ModifiersUse
commas to separate two or more coordinate adjectives that describe the same noun. Do not add
an extra comma between the final adjective and the noun itself or to use commas with non-coordinate
adjectives or an adverb and the adjective it modifies.If you can put “and”
between the adjectives or reverse
the order of the adjectives and the sentence would still make sense, you have coordinative adjectives and you should use commas. The same rule applies when you have and adverb and an adjective.
Reverse the order or add and. These still make sense.
He took a swim in the polluted, gray-green water.
He took a swim in the polluted and gray-green water.
He took a swim in the gray-green, polluted waterBut not theseHe is a fiercely loyal friend. He is a fiercely and loyal friend. (!)He is a loyal fiercely friend.(!)54
A Special TipSlide55
My father, who gave new meaning to the expression hard working never took a vacation.Although the weather was bitter cold he still walked the ten miles to her house.Philip Roth, author of “Portnoy’s Complaint” and many other books is a perennial contender for the Nobel Prize.“The way they’ve been playing, the team will be lucky to survive the first round,” the coach said “I’m just hoping someone gets a hot hand.”He is a fine person however I can’t stand him.
What Is Wrong with these Sentences?
,
,
,
,
.
;
,
Review these sentences to determine the problem. Left click for the answers.
,
Please Left Click
55Slide56
The Dash
A dash can be more effective than a comma— so, say the experts.
Each person is born to one possession which
outvalues all his others: his last breath.Each person is born to one possession which
outvalues all his others—his last breath.
Mark Twain
Thirty: the promise of a decade of loneliness, a thinning list of single men to know, a thinning briefcase of enthusiasm, thinning hair
.
Thirty—the promise of a decade of loneliness, a thinning list of single men to know, a thinning briefcase of enthusiasm, thinning hair
.F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great GatsbyHe was worse than a provincial, he was parochial.He was worse than a provincial—he was parochial
. Henry James on David Thoreau
56Slide57
The general rule–hyphenate between two or more adjectives when they come before a noun and act as a single idea and when necessary to avoid confusion. For example,Pot-bellied man Long-haired composer Long-term relationshipWhy?Dirty-magazine rack vs. Dirty magazine rackTwo-week sessions vs. Two week sessionsIf you can put an “and” between the two words, do not use a hyphen.Pistol-packing mama (not pistol and packing mama)Bloody-minded mama (not bloody and minded mama)
The Hyphen
The Evolution of Compound Words
Hyphenating Adjectives
A Special Tip
57
Was
Became
Is Now
Leap Frog
Leap-Frog
Leapfrog
Pot-Belly
Pot-Belly
Pot Belly
Some compound nouns remain two words, some use hyphens, and some are merged into one. There is no set rule. So
, when in doubt, look it up!Slide58
Hyphenating Adverbs
The general
rule: When
adverbs not ending in “ly” are used as compound words in front of a noun,
hyphenate. For example,Well-known actress Beady-eyed neighbor Fine-tuned guitar
When the combination of words is used after the noun, do not hyphenate. For example,
“The
neighbor gave me the creeps when he stared at me with his beady eyes
.”
Do not hyphenate adverbs end in “ly” (If the word ends in “ly,” it is obviously an adverb and no clarification is required.) For example,Rarely sung anthem Wickedly dressed Goth Carefully phrased request
For example,
The Hyphen Part 2
Use Hyphens for
Numbers over twenty when written out: twenty-three. For example,
Will you still need me, will you still feed me when I’m sixty-four
.
Proper
nouns when adding a
prefix. For example,
Anti-American Un-American Pre-Cambrian
The
wickedly dressed Goth beckoned
me
from across the room, scaring the hell out of me.
When the
provocatively
clothed beauty slinked across the room, I felt terror and
joy, but my
dream collapsed
when she embraced the man standing two feet in front of me
58Slide59
More Roles for Hyphens
Use hyphens for
Prefixes of one letter
X-ray B-team T-shirt F-troop X-men R-rated movie
The prefixes ex, all, self and sometimes crosse
x-wife, all-knowing, self-actuated, cross-reference
W
ords in which prefixes end
in
A and I and the root word begins with the same letter.semi-conscious ultra-orthodox quasi-instruction ultra-ambitious anti-intellectualThis is sometimes true with the E, O, and U, but check if you are unsure.co-op,
co-conspirator, co-equal (but not coordinator or cooperation) de-emphasize
However, the following prefixes rarely need hyphens:
non, un, in, dis, co, anti, hyper, pre, re, post, out, bi, counter, de, semi, mis
, mega, micro, inter, over, and under
nonemergency, unstable, inpatient, disorder, coworker, antimatter, hyperactive, prejudge, reoccur, outmoded, bimonthly, counterculture, decompress, semiannual, misjudge, microphone, interconnected, override, underestimate
Use Hyphens with prefix when not to do so would cause confusion
re-cover
vs. recover (I will re-cover the sofa when I recover from
my hangover.)
re-lease
vs. release
(I will re-lease the apartment when they release me from prison.
59Slide60
Rule One—A colon always follows an independent clause. For example,Correct: Please pack the following for our camping trip: “Cristal, Maybach
, diamonds on your timepiece, jet planes, islands, tigers on a gold
leash.”
Incorrect: Please pack: “Cristal, Maybach, diamonds on your timepiece, jet
planes, islands, tigers on a gold leash.”*
Your new boyfriend is vey nice, except he has a few minor flaws: egotism, nastiness, offensiveness, ignorance, slovenliness, chauvinism, stinginess, greediness, and viciousness.
Your new boyfriend is vey nice, except he has a few minor flaws,
namely
egotism, nastiness, offensiveness, ignorance, slovenliness, chauvinism, stinginess, greediness, and viciousness.
* LordeColon-oscopy: Examining the Colon
Replace the colon with “namely.” If the sentence still make sense, the colon is the right choice. For example,
60
A Special TipSlide61
Rule One: The
rules for colons are the same when used in
bullets.
Of course, you would be a good couple, because you have so many complementary, endearing qualities:
Extreme vanity
Unrivaled egocentricityExtraordinary nastinessUnparalleled narcissismOf course, you would be a good couple, because
of yourExtreme vanity
Unrivaled egocentricity
Extraordinary nastinessUnparalleled narcissism
An independent clause requires a colon.
Don’t use a colon following a dependent clause.
Colons and Lists
61Slide62
Rule Two—The rules for colons are the same when used in lists:Of course, you would be a good couple, because youhave
so many complementary qualities:
Your nastiness is extraordinary.
Your narcissism is unbelievably extreme.Your vanity knows no bounds.
Your egocentricity is remarkable in its intensity.Of course, you would be a good couple, because of your
extraordinary nastiness
extreme
vanity
unparalleled
narcissismunrivaled egocentricity
Use terminal punctuation if your bullets are sentences
If bullets are not sentences, choose one or the other. However, no end punctuation is more readable.
If the bullet is a sentence, capitalize the first letter of the bullet. If it is not, it is your choice.
Silver Bullets and Numbers
62Slide63
Rule Three—Use numbers if the sequence is importantHow to unlock my front doorRemove the padlock to the chain attaching the security bars to the iron railing.Unlock the security bars using the three different keys for the three locks.Remove the security bars.Unlock the six locks on the front door.Take out the steak from your pocket.Open the front door.Show the two pit bulls and the three Dobermans the steak before throwing it as far from the stairs as possible.Run up the stairs and into the bedroom as if your life depended on it, because, in fact, it does.Slam the bedroom door shut and block the door with the dresser.
Bullets: Order and Parallelism
Rule Four—Make sure your clauses parallel (all verbs, nouns, infinitives, etc. The bullets above all begin with verbs.
63Slide64
64
Avoid grammatical errors if you do not want to give
p
eople the wrong impression
PART 3—Common Errors Slide65
3. Common ErrorsSlide 40: Headline Writer Headaches (LINK)Slide 41: Can’t We just Get Along (LINK)Slides 42-44: Common Errors (LINK)Slide 45: To vs. Too (LINK)Slides 46-47: Seven Special Rules to Live by in Formal (LINK)Slide 48: Choose Words Wisely
(LINK)
Common Errors: Table of Contents
65Slide66
66Headline Writer Headaches
Escaped wallaby caught using huge fishing net
Man who stopped breathing in police car dies
Mother arrested after drowning
173 animals seized; 2 face cruelty charges
La. Chimpanzees get pregnant despite vasectomies
Soccer-Mom madam cools her heels in Rider’s, but will her clients get off?
Shark bites land surfer in hospital
Afghanistan: U.S. pays $50,000 per killing to massacre families
In Three Rivers, community and family bore a hero
1 million get shot to save on loans
Actual Headlines Found by the
Columbia Journalism ReviewSlide67
are Singular nouns take singular verbs and plural nouns take plural verbs. I am skipping class to party.We are skipping class to party.But . . . Everyone __ skipping class to party. Everyone
and everybody are singular nouns and take singular verbsEveryone is skipping class to party. So are anyone, anybody, no one, and nobodyIt is too bad that no one is skipping class to party.
67
Can’t We Just Get Along?
Subject-Verb Agreement: The Simples Rule of All
is
Please Left ClickSlide68
Their They’re There are common errors that will loose lose you points if you use them. Many of your you’re you are going to make them. Its It’s a big problem and could effect affect your future more than you’re your grade.
68
Common Errors
Confusing Words
Correct
Usage
Their
, They’re, There
Their stupidity is legendary. They’re lost
in the funhouse
. There they
go again.
Lose, Loose
You will lose the debate, because
you are loose with the facts.
Its,
It’s
It’s a pity that the
car stopped running.
Its tank
is empty.
Effect,
Affect
That’s an effect
of the drug. By killing brain cells, the drug will make you dumber,
Than
I am taller
than her.
Then
In 50 years,
Chicago
will be hotter than New Orleans is today, but I will be gone by then.
Please Left ClickSlide69
More Confusing WordsEither orEither she will attend or I will.Neither norNeither Mary nor Jane like me.ForI have not slept for three days.
SinceI have not slept since MondayLayLay your head on the pillow.LieLie on the bed until you’re sober.
69
More Common Errors
It’s lie
d
own,
s
tupid!
LAY DOWN!
L
ay versus Lie
Lay means to put something
down
.
As a
transitive
verb, it needs a
direct object
to follow it. For example,
Jane lay the blanket on her sleeping husband.
Lie means
to rest or recline.
It is an
intransitiv
e verb; consequently, it does not require a direct object
:
Jane’s husband lies on the couch when she is not lookingSlide70
Missing comma after introductory element.By the time I got out of bed˄it was well past noon.Vague pronoun referenceAlthough the motorcycle hit the tree, it was not damaged. (Is "it" the motorcycle or the tree?)I don't think they should show violence on TV.
Wrong wordListening to the professors lectures, I was for a long time.Wrong or missing preposition.Will you accept that it is time change.
70
sedentary
More Common Errors
Is it the tree or the motorcycle?
sedated
of
for
Left Click Once
,
Who are they?
Left Click Once
Please Left ClickSlide71
71
To vs. Too
Too Much Homework
Too Many Cooks
Too Much Makeup
Too
means also or as well
(“She loves me too”) or in excess (“She loves you too much”).
To
is a preposition (“Send
it to her”) or part of the
infinitive form of a verb (“I want to send her a letter”
).Slide72
Rule I: No Contractions!Rule 2: No SlangRule 3: No Sentence FragmentsRule 4: No Run-On Sentences or Comma SplicesRule 5: No Papers with No ParagraphsRule 6: No Plagiarism
Seven Special Rules to Live by in Formal Writing
72Slide73
Rule 7: Do not overuse the word “then”The Day After: A Brief PlayINT. HALL OF APARTMENT – MORNINGBored POLICE OFFICER pounds of door to Apartment 666. A bedraggled, weary young MAN answers the door. MANIs there something wrong, officer?OFFICERWhere were you on Saturday, January 1, 2013MANAfter I woke up at 4:00 PM, I spent an hour trying to remember what happened the night before, then I called my girlfriend and apologized, then I searched for my car for a couple of hours, then I went to the police station to pay my fine, and then I went to my favorite bar to relax. Then they told me they would have me arrested if I ever show-up there again. Then I went home, and then I went back to bed.
73
Rule 7: Then, Then, Then . . . Slide74
74
“Sophistication of
thought deals in the realm of abstraction, but sophistication of writing is achieved through supporting those abstractions with concrete
. . . if
the writer says the
woman
was dressed in
common
attire, the reader's impression of the
character is not as strong, and the audience will be free to interpret the writer's meaning in ways.” Jan Streever
Choose Words Wisely
Don’t Assume that your reader thinks like you. Be sensitive to educational, linguistic and cultural differences. Slide75
75
The easiest way to make an error is to fail to proof your text carefully and multiple times.
PART 4: Proof, Proof, ProofSlide76
4. Proof, Proof, ProofSlide 51: The Glaring Error (LINK)Slide 52: Why We Proofread (LINK)Slides 53: One of the Most Common—and Embarrassing—Errors of All (LINK)Slides 54-55: Proofreading Tips (LINK)
Proof, Proof, Proof: Table of Contents
76Slide77
77Avoiding the Glaring ErrorIs there anything worse than putting your heart and soul into a report and, as you hand it in, you see a dumb mistake—a typo in the title, a repeated paragraph, or a stupid grammatical error? A flaw like that is a bird dropping on a freshly waxed car, a pimple on the tip of your nose on the day of the big date, or graffiti on a masterpiece by Renoir:Please Left Click Slide78
Why We Proofread
Please Left Click
78Slide79
79One of the Most Common—and Embarrassing–Errors of All
(Trust me, I have seen it in numerous prestigious publications. A close friend noticed she had made this error after 70,000 high-quality brochures for the Chicago Orchestra had been mailed.)
l
˄
Please Left ClickSlide80
Cultivate a healthy sense of doubt. If there are types of errors you know you tend to make, double check for those.Read very slowly. If possible, read out loud. Read one word at a time.Try to read what is actually on the Slides, not what you think is there. Proofread more than once. If possible, work with someone else.Read backwards from the last sentence working forward.Most people proof a printed copy better than on the computer, but you may do better looking at the computer screen. Choose what is best for you. Better yet, proof in both mediums.
Let your work sit for a while before you proofread it. If possible, leave it sit overnightRemember, many errors are introduced during the correcting process, so be careful when editing your copy.Proofreading Tips80
A Special TipSlide81
81More Proofreading Tips
Faulty
information from the kinesthetic
(body) memory can cause you to make errors. Consequently, if
you have always misspelled a word like "
accommodate“ or tomorrow,
you will
probably unthinkingly
misspell it again
.Your mind works far faster than the pen, and a split second of inattention will lead to an error. Stay focused!
Reformat your document to trick your brain into looking at it as a fresh document. You can change the document to landscape view, increase font size or color, or use an unfamiliar typeface.
Find a “clean, well-lighted place” in which to work where there are the fewest distractions possible.
Give yourself plenty of time to proofread. It should be part of project planning. Don’t wait until you are on the bus on the way to class.
If you think you will make a mistake, you will.
A Special TipSlide82
82Avoid excess—Be Direct—Be Brief—Be Done
PART
5—Short, Sweet & PreciseSlide83
5. Short, Sweet & PreciseSlide 58: The Experts Agree; Brevity is a Virtue in Writing (LINK)Slide 59: Words to Avoid; Filler Words (LINK)Slide 60: Don’t Double Team the Reader (LINK)Slide 61: Words to Avoid: Colloquialisms (LINK)Slide 62: Cutting Words Down to Size (Surgery for Sentences Animation) (LINK)Slide 65-69: Active Voice vs. Passive Voice
(LINK)
Short, Sweet & Precise: Table of Contents
83Slide84
The Experts AgreeBrevity Is a Virtue in WritingI have made this longer than usual because I have not had time to make it shorter.Blaise Pascal I have already made this paper too long, for which I must crave pardon, not having now time to make it shorter.Benjamin FranklinYou’ll have to excuse my lengthiness—the reason I dread writing letters is because I am so apt to get to slinging wisdom & forget to let up. Thus much precious time is lost.Mark TwainIt depends. If I am to speak ten minutes, I need a week for preparation; if fifteen minutes, three days; if half an hour, two days; if an hour, I am ready now.
President Woodrow WilsonIf I had my time to go over again, I would make my sermons much shorter, for I am conscious they have been too wordy.Martin Luther84Slide85
Basically can be used at the beginning of sentence on occasion, but is not recommended. Do not use within a sentence where it is usually irrelevant.“He is basically a toad.”Even is often used in a series, but it is not needed and usually extraneous.“My uncle showed up at my door in his pajamas, robe, and even Superman slippers.”Just is often used as an alternative to basically and is not very useful.“When complaining to the professor, just don’t lose your temper.”Well appears at the front of a sentence that follows a question.“Why are you so ugly?” “Well, I was born this way.”For all Intents and purposes are five words looking for a good home,
but shut the door on them.For all intents and purposes, this sentence is too long.Filler words are the linguistic equivalent of verbal sounds, such as “umm.” They fill space, but do not add to the conversation.
85
Words to Avoid: Filler WordsSlide86
86
Don’t Double Team the Reader
Avoid using two words that mean the same thing.
END
RESULT
FREE
GIFT
LARGER
IN SIZE
PAST
HISTORY
FUTURE
PLANS
TRUE
FACTS
Please Left ClickSlide87
A lot: Use several, countless, many, and similar words of instead. [The misspelling of a lot (allot or alot) is two mistakes in one].Alright: Neither this union of two words (all right) nor its twin, okay, is OK (nor is OK).Could of, would of, should of: You should have used could have, would have, or should have if you wanted a good grade. Kinda, kind of: When you use these words to replace “somewhat” or “rather,” you kinda sound dumb. Sorta and sort of is no better.
Use Like instead of “as if", "similar to", or "such as", if you want to sound like a Valley Girl trapped in the 1980s. If not, don’t use it.Very is a weak word and should be used sparingly, but NEVER use its feebler friends pretty and really.Colloquial words and expressions are appropriate for informal speech. However, they are unsuitable in formal writing, and some readers find them to be off-putting.
87
Words to Avoid: ColloquialismsSlide88
BeforeAfterCutting Words Down to Size The Power of Subtraction and ConcisionThis animation demonstrates how to perform surgery on weak sentences to make them active and more effective. This animation takes some time to develop, so hesitate before trying to advance the slide. The last animation ends with an only 12 words.
Please Left Click 88Slide89
In this animation is a demonstration of an effective approach to writing prose that is convincing and concise.A Perfectly Fine SentenceThat Could Be Better. . .
Let’s get it in shape. . . Step 3: Where does the action occur in the sentence?
Step 4: Replace the static noun with an active verb.
demonstrates
˄
Step Five: Eliminate need for “that is” by moving the noun to follow the two adjectives that modify it.
Step Six: Remove all words no longer required.
A Simple Cure: Remove Excess Words and Passive Verbs
Are they active or passive?
˄
Step 2: Eliminate passive
verbs.
˄
˅
˄
˄
˄
˄
˅
Is it a verb or noun
?
Step Seven: Pull it all together
˄
T
his animation demonstrates
an effective
approach
to writing
convincing
and
concise prose .
Step 1: Find the
verbs.
Let’s Compare Sentences
89Slide90
-90Convincing, Concise, and ConclusiveThis animation demonstrates an effective approach to writing convincing and concise prose .In this animation is a demonstration of an effective approach to writing prose that is convincing and concise.
This animation demonstrates an effective approach to writing convincing and concise prose .The Original SentenceThe Revised Sentence
with the passive verbs and unnecessary words removedCompelling
And
only 12
Words
Convincing
Conclusive
A Sentence of 18
WordsSlide91
Active VoiceThe subject performs the action denoted by the verb. For example,“I shot the sheriff, but I did not shoot the deputy.”“He took me to the cleaners”“Who’s going to run this town tonight?”“I love you!”*Passive VoiceThe subject is being acted upon by the action denoted by the verb.The sheriff was shot by me, but the deputy was not shot by me.I was taken to the cleaners by
him.This town is going to be run tonight by whom?“You are loved by me.”*
91
Active Voice vs. Passive Voice
*Note: In the active form, you feel obligated to use and exclamation point. In the passive version , you do not.
Please Left ClickSlide92
Passive: “There is a considerable range of expertise demonstrated by hackers.” Passive: “It was determined by the officer that I would be arrested immediately.” Passive: “My car could have been kept by me if the trivia question on the color of the Green Giant had been answered correctly by me.”Passive: “In psychotherapy, participants are helped by the other participants to realize that most of their problems are shared by others.” Passive: “Reality shows are believed by me to be the most unreal programs developed by TV producers.”
92
More Examples of Passive VoiceSlide93
2. When we do not know who or what committed the action.My car has been stolen.Who has been eating my porridge?1. Lawyers use it to hide the identity of the person committing the action The body was pulled from the room.
Four Reasons for Passive Sentences
3
. To
make
the object of the verb
more important than the
subject of the sentence.President Kennedy was killed by
Lee Harvey
Oswald. He was killed with a gun.
Left Click Once
93Slide94
4. When the subject of the sentence is so long or complex that the reader will be long delayed in reaching the verb, then the writer may choose to place the verb before the subject. Acceptable Active Formulation:The committee reports, the floor debates, the presidential statement, and the administrative agency's interpretive guidance mandate the statutory interpretation we have chosen.Acceptable Passive Formulation:The statutory interpretation we have chosen is mandated by the committee reports, the floor debates, the presidential statement, and the administrative agency's interpretive guidance.
Five Reasons for Passive Sentences (cont.)
94Slide95
Five Reasons for Passive Sentences (cont.)5. Scientists and scholars often use passive voice because, because they believe it sounds more objective. Writers do not have to use personal pronouns of research names, and conclusions can presented without appearing to be biased.
Passive Formulation:
The drug was proven to be effective when the larger dose was administered. However, more negative side effects were experienced by the patients.
Active
Formulation:
Researchers proved the drug was more effective when they administered a larger dose. However, patients experienced more negative side effects.
95Slide96
96
PART 6:
Resources for Writers
(Link to resources)Slide97
Handbooks and Style GuidesThe Associated Press Stylebook LINKThe Chicago Manual of Style LINKThe Modern Language Association Handbook (at Purdue Owl) LINKWilliam Strunk, Jr., The Elements of Style LINK
ReferencesThe Merriam-Webster Dictionary LINKOnline Etymology Dictionary LINKRodale, J. J., The Synonym Finder LINKOnline Grammar Courses
“HyperGrammar,” The University of Ottawa LINKTechnical Writing
“Writing Guideline for Engineering and Science Students Penn State University LINK
Resources for Writers
97
This is a very select list of the best online and print resources you can use to support and enhance your writing.Slide98
Popular Grammar and Writing Websites“The Center for Writing Studies: Grammar Handbook,” University of Illinois at Urban-Champaign LINKFogarty, Mignon, “Grammar Girl’s Quick and Dirty Tricks,” “Friendly guide to the world of grammar, punctuation, usage, and fun developments in the English language.” LINKNordquist, Richard, “About.com Grammar & Composition,” LINKThe Purdue Online Writing Lab LINK
Simmons, Robin L. “Grammar Bytes,” LINKSuperior Books on WritingBradbury, Ray, Zen in the Art of Writing LINKBryson, Bill, The Mother TongueFish, Stanley, How to Write a Sentence and How to Read One LINK
Goldberg, Natalie, Writing Down the Bones: Freeing the Writer Within LINKKing, Stephen, On Writing
LINK
Lamott
, Anne, Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life LINK
Truss, Lynne,
Eats, Shoots & Leaves: The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation LINK
Resources for Writers
98Slide99
99
PART
7:
GlossarySlide100
COMMA SPLICE: A type of run-on (or fused) sentence when two independent clauses are joined with a comma without the necessary conjunction.Slim Shady split town the sheriff was tracking him down.DIRECT OBJECT: The noun, pronoun, phrase or clause that follows a transitive verb (an action verb). For example, Slim Shady followed thee banker to the vaultINTRANSITIVE VERB: An action verb describing an activity that does not have a direct object.*
Slim Shady arrived late and missed the banker.PREDICATE: The part of a sentences or clause that is governed by a verb and states, affirms, or asserts something about the subject of a sentence.Slim Shady argued about everything.RUN-ON SENTENCE: When two independent clauses are joined without a period, semi-colon, or comma and conjunction. For example,Slim Shady loved Lucille She loved Fat Sunny.Note: Some verbs can be use as transitive or intransitive verbs.The children played tag. (“Played” is transitive.)The children played in the backyard. (“Played” is intransitive.)
Glossary
100Slide101
SUBJECT: What or whom the sentence is about. It usually comes before the predicate. (Return to Slides.)Slim Shady is . . . well . . . ah . . . shady.TRANSITIVE VERB: This verb is an action verb describing an activity one can do to a direct object, the thing or person that receives the action.* Slim Shady robbed the banker.Note: Some verbs can be use as transitive or intransitive verbs.The children played tag. (“Played” is transitive.)The children played in the backyard. (“Played” is intransitive.).
Glossary101Slide102
Be Consistent!
The Golden Rule of Punctuation
102Slide103
Academic Resources
103
These are the resources available to you to help make your academic career successful. Please note: Every on-campus service has and online component.
Online
r
eadiness quiz
Orientation webinar Student handbook
Getting started
Are you ready for the online classroom
?
Technology webinars
Help Desk
Computer labs
How to Use Blackboard
Technology
Selecting an advisor
Finding a tutor
Online tutorials
Student support groups
College success webinars
Academic Advising and Support
Handbooks & Style Guides
References
Online Grammar Courses
Popular Grammar Sites
Technical Writing
Superior Books on Writing
Resources for Writers
LINK
Library Resources
Orientation
: Researching resource
Webinar How to research webinar
On-campus Online resources
Library literacy webinar
Clubs, Organizations
Health and Welfare
Financial Services Admissions
Registrar
Events
Athletics
Disability Accessibility
Student ServicesSlide104
104Formative EvaluationsMethodTypeTimeline
Description, Rationale, and Expected ResultsJournal of Observation ObservationOngoingI will maintain this personal journal to record observations of anecdotal evidence providing insights into the value of class processes, assessments, and activities. This evidence comes from a variety of informal sources, such as students’ revealing comments in their writings or during online interactions, their successes and failures, their progress in mastering learning
objectives, complaints, and displays of enthusiasm or disinterest.Focus Group
Direct Feedback
Ongoing
I will establish a focus
group of student volunteers (three to five) to meet every two weeks synchronously to provide feedback on the class processes, procedures, pedagogical effectiveness, assignments, and other issues as decided by the students and myself. The volunteers will receive extra credit for participation. The meetings will set up using Blackboard Collaborate at an time agreed upon by all. All students will be encouraged to attend
Surveys
Direct Feedback
End
of four modules
I will expect students to complete a survey
at the completion of four different modules (see class map)
, which will give them the opportunity to evaluate
these modules, assess their relevance, and offer suggestions to the class going forward. The survey also provides an opportunity to demonstrate how much they learned from the module. Students receive points for completing the surveys, but I will not know who submitted individual surveys. The completed surveys will be sent directly to a third party who will summarize written responses and tabulate the remaining answers for me.
One-on-One Discussion
Direct Feedback
Ongoing
I will hold one-on-one discussions with each student during weeks 3 to 12 of the class. (The first two weeks are kept open to enable students to experience the class and gauge their own potential for success. The final four weeks are reserved for follow-up conferences.) During the first two weeks, students will be required to schedule a time for a synchronous discussion. The purpose of the conferences is to review students’ performance and needs, and to get their feedback on the class.
Plan for Evaluating Effectiveness of Learning EnvironmentSlide105
Original Class Map 1105I prepared this course map of course on the interaction of poetry, prose and culture in the 1960’s. This course was an assignment in W. Andrew Robinson’s Instructional Design for Online Course Development. It was the inspiration for Task 1.Slide106
Original Class Map (2)106Slide107
Original Class Map (3)107Slide108
Original Class Map (4)108Slide109
Original Class Map (4)109