Grief impacts us holistically These five needs overlap Social Physical Cognitive Emotional Spiritual Coping with Loss and Grief Grieving is a common and natural reaction to any loss that brings on strong emotions ID: 634779
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Slide1
Death & Dying; Dealing with Loss and GriefSlide2
Grief impacts us holistically…
These five needs overlap.
Social, Physical, Cognitive, Emotional, SpiritualSlide3
Coping with Loss and Grief
Grieving is a common and natural reaction to any loss that brings on strong emotions.
Acknowledging and understanding your grief will help you begin the healing process. Slide4
What is Loss?
Losses may include:
Death of a loved one
Divorce or separation of parents
Moving to a new town or new school
Separation from a loved one
Loss or death of a petLoss or theft of something valuable or specialBreakup of a romantic relationship
Loss of jobLoss of a sporting competition
How we Cope with LossAn individual deals with all types of losses in a normal process.A broad range of emotions after a loss include:
DenialAnger
SadnessConfusion and helplessness
Guilt
Insecurity and fear
Eventually we reach the acceptance and resolution of the loss. However, some losses are hard to accept. The idea is to incorporate the loss, moving forward knowing the loss has happened and taking from it what we can.Slide5
The Grieving Process
Elisabeth
Kübler
-Ross noted that the grieving process includes
stages of grief.
A variety of reactions that may surface as an individual makes sense of how a loss affects him or her
Denial or Numbness
Emotional Release
Anger
Bargaining
Depression
Remorse
Acceptance
Hope
Stages of GriefSlide6
Positive Coping Strategies
Be patient. Each person will go through the grieving process at his or her own pace.
Talk to others.
Ask for help.
Keep up a normal routine.
Eat a healthy diet.Write in a journal.
Get plenty of rest.Exercise.Participate in enjoyable activities.Maintain friendships.
Do something nice for another person.Practice stress management techniques.Deep breathing.
Visualization.Slide7
Physical responses:
Appetite (eating) disturbances
Energy, fatigue, lethargy
Sleep disturbance
Cold (especially for children)Anxiety (sweating, trembling, etc.)Gastrointestinal disturbanceCompromised immune response; increased illnessSlide8
Intellectual
Confusion; “What is real?”
Difficulty concentrating; ex. Read the same page several times
Short attention span; ex. Can’t finish a 30 minute TV program
Difficulty learning new material; short term memory loss; ex. Income taxesDifficulty making decisionsSlide9
Social…
Withdrawal
Isolation
Searching
AvoidanceIrritabilitySelf absorptionClinging/dependenceSlide10
Emotional…
Angry
Depressed
Sad
CryingIrritableAfraidLonelyRelieved/Guilty/RegretfulSlide11
Spiritual…assumptive beliefs are challenged…
The question “Why” reverberates
Where was God?
If God is all powerful, why allow this?
If God loves me, how could this be?Prayers weren’t answered…Slide12
Common and Unique…
Death and grief are unique.
Each person’s experience is his or hers alone.
Each experience is unlike any other.
So, I can never know exactly how someone else feels.Slide13
Grief Takes Time
Whole first year is one loss after another
Beware of special occasions and holidays all year
Uncomplicated mourning is normally 2-3 years
Complicated mourning may be a 5-7 year process.Grief continues for a lifetime through major life milestones.Slide14
Terms seen in the literature:
Absent grief (prolonged)
Delayed grief
Inhibited grief
Pathological mourningChronic MourningDysfunctional grief
Unanticipated griefConflicted griefDistorted griefUnresolved grief
Grief with mental disordersGrief with physical disordersSlide15
Disciplines that deal with grief…
Chaplain/pastor
Social Workers/Counselors
Nurse/Physician
Other medical professionals (PT….)Teachers/Coaches
Lawyers/AccountantsEveryoneSlide16
Grief is Work
Experience the reality of the loss
Experience the pain of the loss
Adjust to an environment without the deceased
Withdraw emotional energy from the deceased and invest it in new relationship(s)Slide17
Complicated Grief/Mourning
Multiple losses
Severe trauma
Violent death
Concurrent mental illnessAxis 2 traitsIsolationGuiltLife Skill DeficitsParents who lose children
grief that does not follow the “normal course” or process to successful completion.Slide18
What exactly are we talking about?
The first and most pressing question in a crisis is: What just happened?
Immediately following is the question: How can I manage right now?
Finally, the larger questions of grief and meaning are formulated.
What
Happened?
How will I
Manage
It?
How do I
Go on?Slide19
How can I help?
First focusing on basic needs: Shelter, safety, sustenance, information, protection
Second, allowing those affected to begin to figure out what happened…tell their story, process the event and its meaning for them.
Always validate and normalize the responses ….listen carefully…reflect the language Slide20
As a Minister…..
Hearing the story will help you assess the needs and the strengths of each person
Listen each time as though it is the first time you heard the story
Assess strengths…support system available to the survivor
Assess spiritual beliefs/source of strengthBe careful of trite, glib religiousitySlide21
Grieving Adults Need….
Permission to feel
Awareness that grief lasts a lifetime
Help with marital differences in grief
Help with remaining childrenConcrete help with finances, tasks, etc.Slide22
Grieving Children Need:
Information at their age level
Preparation
Inclusion in caregiving
Inclusion in family ritualPresence of a trusted adultLong term attentionSlide23
Remember the five areas of focus
Physical Needs: warm foods and clothing; increased susceptibility to illness
Emotional Needs: Grief bursts of emotion
Social Needs: Few peers can relate. Consider a group experience.
Cognitive: Difficulty with concentration, learning new material, attention span. Be sure the teacher knows.Spiritual: Beware of the trite phrases that confuse and
frighten…in heaven; God took her; God needed an angel.Slide24
And then there are teens….
Listen, listen, listen
Provide contact with peers
Affirm feelings; model seeking support
Give them something positive to DOEncourage activities they enjoy with othersSlide25
When is it time for referral?
Consider grief complications…ie suddenness of the death, troubled relationship, violence, arousal of fear
Consider support available
Consider coping skills and other stressors
Consider length of difficulty…i.e. duration of distressAlways assess for suicidal ideation. Slide26
Sudden Death
Acute Natural Causes
Accidental Death
Disaster
Deaths –Natural/Mass ViolentWar DeathsMurderSuicideSlide27
Suicide
Shneidman
(1972) “I believe that the person who commits suicide puts his psychological skeleton in the survivor’s emotional closet.
Rando, 1993, p. 523Slide28
Suicide and complications
Feelings of responsibility
Cultural responses leading to guilt and shame
Anger at the deceased
Fear re becoming suicidalNo opportunity for closureSlide29Slide30
Attitudes Toward DeathSlide31
Attitudes towards death and dying
American society tends to deny the reality of death.
Previous experiences with death
Circumstances of death
Cultural factors can significantly influence patients’ reactions to their illness and the dying process.
There are many different religions and belief systems across the world. Each holds an individual view of death and mourning.Slide32
Gypsy FuneralSlide33
Muslim FuneralSlide34
Ancient Native American BurialSlide35
Hindu BurialSlide36
Jewish BurialSlide37
Motorcycle FuneralSlide38
Police Funeral Slide39
New Orleans FuneralSlide40
Chinese Funeral in Chinatown NYSlide41
Video Cultural Perspectives
The Egyptians Book of the Dead
Hindu, Islam, Jewish, Christian, Buddhist, Native AmericanSlide42
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kWX7XFgeucA&feature=related
Slide43
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zoqSGbn9ToI Slide44
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UfCFEzurIP4&feature=related
Slide45
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eLZWaZKFQnA&feature=related
Slide46
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DcORQXesoZc&feature=related