Chapter 9 Pattern of Adjustment Marital adjustment is the process couples use to modify their relationship as needed throughout their married life Maintain a high level of quality in the relationship ID: 570792
Download Presentation The PPT/PDF document "Adjusting to Marriage" is the property of its rightful owner. Permission is granted to download and print the materials on this web site for personal, non-commercial use only, and to display it on your personal computer provided you do not modify the materials and that you retain all copyright notices contained in the materials. By downloading content from our website, you accept the terms of this agreement.
Slide1
Adjusting to Marriage
Chapter 9Slide2
Pattern of Adjustment
Marital adjustment is the process couples use to modify their relationship as needed throughout their married life
Maintain a high level of quality in the relationship
Continuum represents changes in the feeling and attitudes that a couple might have about their relationship
One end is a happy, satisfying and fulfilling the other end is unhappy, dissatisfying, unfulfilling and empty
Must move back and forth somewhere in the middle of the continuum Slide3
Hostility
Hostility – when a couple continually argues or quarrels without settling conflicts or agreeing on solutions
May be physically abusive
Unresolved hostility has negative effects Slide4
Concession
Concession – when one spouse gives into the other rather than working to reach a joint
agreenment
Slide5
Accommodation
Accommodation – when a spouse agrees to accept and live with his or her partner’s differences
Slide6
Compromise
Compromise tends to be the most satisfying way to resolve differences in a marriage
Compromise is finding a solution which both agree
This will bring the greatest satisfaction to a relationship
Read 189-189 chart 9-1Slide7
9:2
Interpersonal Adjustments Slide8
Interpersonal Adjustments
Interpersonal adjustments – when couples learn to adjust to each other’s
differneces
Slide9
Thinking of WE Instead of ME
Pair adjustment – when couples adjust their individual lifestyles to have a satisfying life together
If a spouse sticks to a ME attitude, hostility can increase Slide10
Accepting Habits
No one is perfect
It is normal for a few of your habits to irritate your spouse and so of their habits irritate you Slide11
Showing Appreciation
Praise, sincere compliments and thoughtfulness
Both verbal and nonverbal
When the couples shows appreciation for each other quality of their relationship increase Slide12
Keeping Communication Lines Open
Open and honest communication needs to take place often in a marriage
Use the sandwich approach which is putting a negative comment between two positive commentsSlide13
Revolving Conflicts
Easier to handle when they come up
Identify possible solutions
Discuss them
Choose oneSlide14
Use Problem-Solving Skills
Each stage of the problem-solving process, you may need to negotiate
You must listen to each other’s opinions and considering the viewsSlide15
Staying Actively Involved with Each Other
Active Versus Passive Interaction
Active interaction involves physical and verbal exchange between two people who are doing something together
Passive interaction – involved only as an observer or listening such as watching television or reading booksSlide16
Meeting Emotional Needs
The Need to Be Loved
The primary emotional need met in marriage is the need to love and to be loved
The Need for Respect and Self Actualization
The need for respect and acceptance is met when your spouse makes your feel that you are important part of his or her lifeSlide17
Keeping Balance in the Relationship
Balance is maintained when both spouses work to contribute fully to the relationship Slide18
Adjusting to Marital Roles
Marital roles carries certain responsibilities and expectations
Spouse, friend, wage, earner, cook, caregiver or housekeeper
Keeping a cooperative Attitude
Periodic Evaluation Slide19
9:3
Adapting to Financial and Social ChangesSlide20
Financial Adjustments
Different views about money management can be a major source of conflict in a marriage
After marriage both partners are responsible for the family finances
A couple should jointly manage their money, this provides
accountabity
Slide21
Social Adjustments
After marriage, the couple needs to establish their pair identity and grow as an independent unit
They will make decisions based on discussion between the two of them
If they make a mistake they must learn from it and go on
Family and friends can be supportive and offer encouragement but they also need independence for their relationship to growSlide22
Relating to Family
A couple’s marriage joins two families.
The marital relationship improves when good relationships are maintained with family members Slide23
Keeping Family Counsel in Perspective
Listen to family suggestions and advice but needs to be firm in making their own decisions
Supporting Parent in Their Adjustment
This can be hard if they are accustomed to being heavily involved in their children's decisions.Slide24
Adjusting Friendships
A strong network of mutual friends can add to the quality of a marriage
Share in hard times
Good friends can strengthen a marital
relatinship
Slide25
Adjusting to a New Community
Substitute Family – a group of nonrelatives who encourage or help you in a way that family members would if they were present Slide26
Marriage Enrichment Programs
Marriage Enrichment Programs – programs sponsored by community service agencies or religious or educational groups to help couples strengthen their marriages
Couples should chose a program designed for their particular needSlide27
Marriage Counseling
Marriage Counseling – meeting with a professional to try to improve a couple’s relationship
When looking for a marriage counselor
Seek a qualified, licensed counselor
Check the program’s purpose and cost as well as the
counselor’s qualifications