Swashbuckling insults! Compiled by HoganWhen a swashbuckler enters a d - PDF document

Swashbuckling insults! Compiled by HoganWhen a swashbuckler enters a duel, he does so armed with his sword, and a vocalbury, which would put a politician to shame. When a Swashbuckler open fire with his verbal cannons, he can cause as much damage to the enemy's morale, as his sword can do to his innards… unless the enemy knows how to turn the insult and launch it right back where it came from! The following insults are with kind regards (and without permission) to Lucas Arts' great games of Secret of the Monkey Island1+2+3 (try them all!) I've got a long and sharp lesson prepared for you! And I've got a little tip for you. Get the Point ? My last battle left my hands covered in blood. I hope now you've learned to stop picking your noseNo one will ever catch me fighting as bad as you do! You run that fast? I hope you have a boat ready for a quick escape? Why, did you want to borrow one? Now I know what filth and stupidity really are! I'm glad to hear you attended your family reunion. Nobody's ever drawn blood from me and nobody ever will! You run that fast? There are no words for how disgusting you are! Yes there are, you just never learned them! My handkerchief will wipe up your blood! So you got that job as a janitor after all I've spoken with apes more polite than you! I'm glad to hear you attended your family reunion. You are no match for my brains your poor fool I'd be in real trouble if you ever used them. People fall at my feet when they see me coming! Even before they smell your breath? You fight like a dairy farmer How appropiate, you fight like a cow. Soon you'll be wearing my sword like shesh kebab! First you've better stop wearing it like a feather-duster! I once owned a dog who was smarter then you! He must have taught you everything you know. Have you stopped wearing diapers yet? Why, did you want to borrow one? I got this scar on my face during a mighty struggle! I hope now you've learned to stop picking your noseYou make me want to puke You make me think somebody already did! You have the manners of a beggar. I wanted to make sure you'd feel comfortable with me This is the end for you, you gutter crawling cur! And I've got a little tip for you. Get the Point ? En garde! Touche! Oh, that is so cliche! Heaven preserve me, you look like something that died! The only way you'll be preserved is in formaldehydeYou are the ugliest monster ever created! If you don't count all the ones you have dated! When your father first saw you, he must have been mortified At least mine can be identified! I'll leave you devastated, mutilated and perforatedYour odor alone leaves me aggravated, agitated and infuriated Never before have I faced someone so sissified Is that your face? I though it was your backside! You have the sex-appeal of a Shar-Pei I look that much like your fiancée? Your stench would make an outhouse cleaner irritated Then perhaps you should change to decaffeinated! You'll find I'm dogged and relentless to my pray Then be a good dog, sit! Stay! Nothing can stop me from blowing you away! I could, if you would use some breath spray Nothing on this earth can save your sorry hide The only way you'll be preserved is in formaldehyde! When I'm done, your body will be rotten and putrefied Then killing you must be justifiable fungicide! You're a disgrace to your specie, you are so undignified. At least mine can be identified! My attacks have left entire islands depopulated. With your breath I'm sure they all suffocated! Your lips look like they belong on the catch of the day! When I'm done with you, you'll be a boneless filletI give you a choice, you can be gutted or decapitated. With you around, I prefer to be fumigated. Your mother wears a toupee! Oh, that is s cliche! I have never lost a melee! You would have, but you are always running away! Every enemy I've met, I've annihilated! With your breath. I'm sure the all suffocated! Would you like to be buried or cremated? With you around, I prefer to be fumigated. You are as repulsive as a monkey in a negligee I look that much like your fiancée? I've never seen such clumsy swordplay You would have, but you are always running away! I'll skewer you, like a sow at a buffet! When I'm done with you, you'll be a boneless filletI can't rest until you're been exterminated Then perhaps you should change to decaffeinated! Killing you will be justifiable homicide! Then killing you must be justifiable fungicide! You can't match my witty repartee I could, if you would use some breath spray Throughout the Caribbean my deeds are celebrated! To bad they are all fabricated! Coming face to face with me, must leave you petrified! Is that your face? I though it was your backside! I'll hound you night and day! Then be a good dog, sit! Stay! Your looks would make pigs nauseated! If you don't count all the ones you have dated! I can't say which of my traits have you most intimidated Your odor alone leaves me aggravated, agitated and infuriated My skills with a sword is highly venerated! To bad they are all fabricated!