Plain Language: a clear voice for Canada Please

04

Plain Language: a clear voice for Canada

05

Objective (2) You work towards using plain language with confidence - every time you write!

06

6 Reasons why plain language matters 1. Not all readers are subject matter experts. They depend on us to give them clear information and advice.

2. Many of our readers have neither English nor French as their first language.

3. Translation suffers when the original text is not easy to understand. 4. 48% of adult Canadians read at a Grade 8 level or below.
This is why the Canada.ca Content Style Guide instructs us to write information at a Grade 6 to 8 level.

5. Plain language is a key ingredient of accessibility and inclusion – when everyone understands, we all win.

07

6. Plain Language is Government Policy and Federal Law

08

Government Policy since 1988 A Communications Policy and Federal Identity requirement.
It states: Government communications must be:
objective
factual
non-partisan
clear
written in plain language
2. ADirective on the Management of Communications requirement
3. A Canada.ca Content Style Guide requirement.
4. An Accessible Canada Act requirement.

09

Definition and Guiding Principle Definition of plain language
Communication is in plain language if its wording, structure, and design are so clear that the intended audience can easily find what they need, understand what they find, and use that information. International Plain Language Federation

10

Quote from George Bernard Shaw “The biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.”

11

Typical writing process: complete a task Must finish by noon!

12

Typical writing process: complete a task (continued) Sent! This directive supports SSC’s ability to achieve this goal by providing consistent direction on SSC’s organizational approach to IT service management. It aligns with SSC’s service management governance framework which outlines key elements of IT service management including principles, service management governance, the Service lifecycle management model, and the underpinning pillars consisting of people, process and technology. The directive applies to all IT services in the SSC service inventory and accordingly, the SSC service catalogue.

Readability Score: Grade 18.8

13

Typical Employee Reaction This is tough, but I can figure it out. Isthay irectiveday upportssay SSCAY’say abilityway otay achieveway isthay oalgay ybay ovidingpray onsistentcay irectionday onway SSCAY’say organizationalway approachway otay ITWAY ervicesay anagementmay. Itway alignsway ithway SSCAY’say ervicesay anagementmay overnancegay ameworkfray ichwhay outlinesway eykay elementsway ofway ITWAY ervicesay anagementmay includingway inciplespray, ervicesay anagementmay overnancegay, ethay Ervicesay ifecyclelay anagementmay odelmay, andway ethay underpinningway illarspay onsistingcay ofway eoplepay, ocesspray andway echnologytay. Ethay irectiveday appliesway otay allway ITWAY ervicessay inway ethay SSCAY ervicesay inventoryway andway accordinglyway, ethay SSCAY ervicesay ataloguecay.

14

Typical end-user reaction It’s Greek to me! Αυτή η οδηγία υποστηρίζει την ικανότητα της ΕΣΕ να επιτύχει αυτόν τον στόχο παρέχοντας συνεπή κατεύθυνση στην οργανωτική προσέγγιση της ΕΣΕ για τη διαχείριση των υπηρεσιών ΤΠ. Ευθυγραμμίζεται με το πλαίσιο διακυβέρνησης της υπηρεσίας διαχείρισης υπηρεσιών της ΕΣΕ, το οποίο περιγράφει βασικά στοιχεία της διαχείρισης υπηρεσιών ΤΠ, συμπεριλαμβανομένων των αρχών, της διακυβέρνησης διαχείρισης υπηρεσιών, του μοντέλου διαχείρισης κύκλου ζωής της υπηρεσίας, και των βασικών πυλώνων που αποτελούνται από ανθρώπους, διαδικασία και την τεχνολογία. Η οδηγία εφαρμόζεται σε όλες τις υπηρεσίες ΤΠ στο απόθεμα υπηρεσιών της ΕΣΕ και, κατά συνέπεια, στον κατάλογο υπηρεσιών της ΕΣΕ.

15

Questions to consider What is the risk if my readers do not understand my text?

What voice should I use in my workplace?

How do our texts make our readers feel about SSC?

Does our voice support or damage our brand?

16

Plain Language increases your credibility In his book, Thinking, Fast and Slow, Nobel prize-winning psychologist Daniel Kahneman writes, “If you care about being thought credible and intelligent, do not use complex language where simpler language will do.”

Using simple words doesn’t imply dumbing down your message. You gain credibility and respect when you are able to articulate complex ideas in simple language.

17

How plain language works expert to expert This directive supports SSC’s ability to achieve this goal by providing consistent direction on SSC’s organizational approach to IT service management. It aligns with SSC’s service management governance framework which outlines key elements of IT service management including principles, service management governance, the Service lifecycle management model, and the underpinning pillars consisting of people, process and technology. The directive applies to all IT services in the SSC service inventory and accordingly, the SSC service catalogue.
Flesh-Kincaid Grade Level: 18.8

18

How plain language works expert to all staff This directive supports SSC’s efforts to put proper practices in place to improve its IT service management and delivery. It:
Provides consistent direction.
Aligns with SSC’s service management key principles, service management governance, and service lifecycle and technology.
Applies to all IT services in the SSC service inventory and the SSC service catalogue.
Flesh-Kincaid Grade Level: 12.0

19

How plain language works expert to end-user This directive explains SSC’s new, consistent approach to IT service management. It:
Rests firmly on three pillars. They are People, Process and Technology.
Puts proper practices in place for managing all IT services delivery in our service inventory, within a service lifecycle model.
Applies the approach to the SSC service catalogue itself.

Flesh-Kincaid Grade Level: 9.6

20

Einstein on clarity (2) “Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius -- and a lot of courage -- to move in the opposite direction."

21

Benefits of plain language It makes any text
easier to read.

22

Meet Sam

23

Before plain language Subject: Shared Services Canada modernizes management of printing equipment and services
Shared Services Canada (SSC) is changing the way you buy and manage your organization’s printing equipment and services to ensure competitive pricing, strengthened IT security, improved productivity and a better user experience.
We are pleased to inform you that the Minister responsible for SSC, today announced the establishment of standing offers with [name of vendor #1, name of vendor #2, name of vendor #3] to provide printing devices and managed print services for the Government of Canada.The new standing offers standardize, consolidate and streamline print product purchases, making printing devices and services easier to acquire and manage.
Your organization can now buy printing products [link] using a streamlined National Master Standing Offer, or by entering into a Departmental Individual Standing Offer (DISO) with one of the three vendors. To learn more about the DISO and how it can benefit your organization, refer to the attached fact sheet. The standing offers are in place until 2024 and are the result of a significant collaborative procurement process.For further information, please contact your SSC Account Team representative.

Flesch-Kincaid Grade Level 15.7 Grade Level

24

Seeing is believing… After
New Standing Offers for printing equipment and services
Shared Services Canada (SSC) is changing how you buy and manage your printing equipment and services.
Today, the Minister responsible for SSC, announced standing offers with:
[name of vendor].
[name of vendor].
[name of vendor].
These standing offers are in place until 2024. We believe they will help ensure competitive pricing, strengthen IT security, increase productivity and improve user experience. How? They standardize, consolidate and streamline print product purchases. This will make it easier for you to buy and manage printing devices and services.
To buy printing products, [link] you can now either:
use a streamlined National Master Standing Offer; or
enter into a Departmental Individual Standing Offer (DISO) with one of the three vendors.
Note: To learn more about the DISO and how it can benefit your organization, please read the attached fact sheet.
Please contact your SSC Account Team representative with any questions or concerns.
Flesch-Kincaid Grade Level 8.4

25

Benefits of plain language It gives your readers
what they want or need to know.

26

Meet Katrina

27

Katrina needs help You will need to update your signature block in all of your e-mail applications to reflect this change. Signature blocks help add credibility when interacting with the public by identifying us as Government of Canada employees. They are also recommended when sending an e-mail internally since messages are sometimes circulated outside the Department.

Readability Score: Grade 12

28

Seeing is believing… Before

You will need to update your signature block in all of your e-mail applications to reflect this change. Signature blocks help add credibility when interacting with the public by identifying us as Government of Canada employees. They are also recommended when sending an e-mail internally since messages are sometimes circulated outside the Department.
Readability Score: Grade 12 After

Update your signature block and use it in all of your emails.
Why? Signature blocks identify you as Government of Canada employee when:
You contact members of the public
A colleague forwards your messages outside of your department
Readability Score: Grade 7.8

29

Benefits of plain language (1) It uses words
your readers understand.

30

Meet Norm, a new Transport CanadaMarine Safety Inspector

31

Our email to Norm The procurement of mobile devices, combined with the implementation of a national SRA service and digital tools, address the reporting and analytical requirements of travelling inspectors during core business hours.

The RQS is an existing tool used by the Regulatory Services Group within Marine Safety, which has a guided-navigation interface that allows the inspectorate, industry stakeholders and the general public to search the Canada Shipping Act 2001 and its supporting Regulations and TC publications.
Inspectors experiencing difficulties with the functionality of their mobile devices are to contact the dedicated Shared Services Canada Service Desk professionals at 1-855-591-0550.
Readability Score: Grade 20

32

Seeing is believing… (1) Before
The procurement of mobile devices, combined with the implementation of a national SRA service and digital tools, address the reporting and analytical requirements of travelling inspectors during core business hours.
The RQS is an existing tool used by the Regulatory Services Group within Marine Safety, which has a guided-navigation interface that allows the inspectorate, industry stakeholders and the general public to search the Canada Shipping Act 2001 and its supporting Regulations and TC publications.
Inspectors experiencing difficulties with the functionality of their mobile devices are to contact the dedicated Shared Services Canada Service Desk professionals at 1-855-591-0550.
Readability Score: Grade 20 After
Transport Canada has given you a mobile
tablet. It will allow you to access tools, find information, analyze findings and submit
inspection reports over a secure network during normal working hours (9 to 5 EST).

For example, you can use the Regulation Query System to search the Canada Shipping Act 2001 during inspections at sea.

If you have any problems with your tablet,
call the Shared Services Canada Service Desk
at 1-855-591-0550.

Readability Score: Grade 9

33

Plain language supports accessibility and inclusion Benefits of plain language (1)

34

When all users can understand content, everyone wins. Accessibility and inclusion are GC mandates:
Nothing Without Us: An Accessibility Strategy for the Public Service of Canada
Accessible Canada Act

35

Kim has an invisible disability

36

Kim has Dyslexia According to the Canadian Dyslexia Association, about 23 percent of people living in Canada are affected by dyslexia.

Although this learning disability can be easily managed, it may impact the life and learning of those with it.

37

69,000 Canadians have intellectual disabilities(Special Olympics British Columbia) After
Have Phoenix pay issues affected you? The Pay Centre will contact you if you:
were overpaid
received an emergency salary advance
received priority payment
Why? To:
explain next steps
suggest recovery options
arrange a repayment plan that works for you

40 words, Flesch-Kincaid Grade Level: 7.9

38

Can you find Kim?

39

It includes everyone.

40

Inclusive writing applies principles that aim to not offend or discriminate readers because of any number of identity factors.

Examples include a person’s:

sex
gender
sexual orientation race
ethnicity
disability

41

Visit Communications community office – Communities of Practice to learn how to develop knowledge and skills in these areas:
Accessible Communications
Equity, Diversity and Inclusion Communications Network
Plain Language

42

In the meantime, I suggest you focus on 3 English plain language writing principles that will give you a good start!

43

Write directly to the reader. Using the personal pronoun “you” eliminates the need to write awkward sentences that include “he or she”
When writing directly to the reader is not an option, use the singular “they”
When writing to or about someone, ask them what they prefer, and respect their wishes.
For example:
some groups may have strong feelings about using gender specific pronouns in their texts to members. Others may insist on gender-free pronouns.
some people may want you to refer to them as she or he – while others prefer the gender neutral “they.”

44

2. Research and use gender-neutral options
For example:
he/she becomes they
mother/father becomes parent
son/daughter becomes child
brother/sister becomes sibling
husband/wife becomes spouse or partner
opposite sex (adjective) becomes different sex Inclusionary: A collection of gender-inclusive solutions (noslangues-ourlanguages.gc.ca)

45

3. Focus on the person rather than their condition
For example:
A “person with loss of vision” or “with a visual impairment” instead of a “blind person”
A “person using a wheelchair” instead of “a wheelchair-bound person”
A “person with dyslexia” instead of a “dyslexic”

46

4. Beware of “ableist” words and phrases A person with loss of vision will likely be offended if I use vision-related terms and phrases. Examples could be:
“We are keeping a close eye on our year-end spending.”
“Watch this space for program updates.”
“We are only beginning to see what women-owned businesses can do for Canada.”

47

AI can help you find and replace ableist content. A useful prompt:
Make the following texts sensitive to people with visual impairment.
“We are keeping a close eye on our year-end spending.” could become:
“We are being very careful with our year-end spending.”
“Watch this space for program updates.” could become:
“Visit this space for program updates.”
“We are only beginning to see what women-owned businesses can do for Canada.”
could become:
“We are only beginning to understand what women-owned businesses
can do for Canada.”

48

Benefits of plain language (2) It saves
time and money.

49

Which text can you read faster?This Earth Day, do your part to Restore our Earth On April 22, 2021, Canadians will celebrate Earth Day, a worldwide environmental event that was first observed 51 years ago. While progress has been made over that time, together we can do more by adopting green practices.
Earth Day provides a great opportunity to think about our impact on the planet, and this year’s theme is “Restore our Earth TM.
At Shared Services Canada (SSC), we can all do our part to be greener! Simple things like thinking about how to green and reduce your purchases, and focusing on reusing and repairing goods can all add up to make a difference. For more green tips, check out our Earth Day article in the April issue of The Gigabit.
We’d also like to let you know about government-wide initiatives to help reduce our impacts on the planet. Did you know that GCDonate and GCTransfer are part of the GCSurplus suite of common services? Public servants can use these tools to extend the life of surplus moveable assets they no longer need.
GCTransfer was launched in 2015 to make it easier to transfer and reuse government surplus assets. The program not only reduces government procurement and acquisitions costs, it reduces our environmental footprint.
GCDonate is the Government of Canada’s latest divestment tool designed to simplify the donation of surplus moveable assets to designated groups and organizations in need. Not only does this program support Canada’s socio-economic goals and commitments, it further promotes the enduring value of government surplus assets and benefits the environment by reducing landfill waste.
Visit the GCSurplus website today for more information on how you can reduce waste and help the environment by giving your surplus goods a second life.
281 words April 22, 2021, is the world’s 51st Earth Day. This annual event provides a great opportunity to think about our impact on the planet, and the benefits of green practices. This year’s theme is “Restore our Earth TM. You can find great green tips in our Earth Day article in April’s The Gigabit.
As public servants, we can also participate in two GCSurplus initiatives to help reduce our impacts on the planet.
GCDonate makes it easier to donate surplus moveable assets to designated groups and organizations in need.
GCTransfer makes it easier to transfer and reuse government surplus assets.
Visit the GCSurplus website today to learn more about how you can reduce waste and help the environment by giving your surplus goods a second life.
SSC’s Greening Government Team
129 words

50

Which text costs less to translate?This Earth Day, do your part to Restore our Earth281 x .20 = $56.20 129 x .20 = $25.8 On April 22, 2021, Canadians will celebrate Earth Day, a worldwide environmental event that was first observed 51 years ago. While progress has been made over that time, together we can do more by adopting green practices.
Earth Day provides a great opportunity to think about our impact on the planet, and this year’s theme is “Restore our Earth TM.
At Shared Services Canada (SSC), we can all do our part to be greener! Simple things like thinking about how to green and reduce your purchases, and focusing on reusing and repairing goods can all add up to make a difference. For more green tips, check out our Earth Day article in the April issue of The Gigabit.
We’d also like to let you know about government-wide initiatives to help reduce our impacts on the planet. Did you know that GCDonate and GCTransfer are part of the GCSurplus suite of common services? Public servants can use these tools to extend the life of surplus moveable assets they no longer need.
GCTransfer was launched in 2015 to make it easier to transfer and reuse government surplus assets. The program not only reduces government procurement and acquisitions costs, it reduces our environmental footprint.
GCDonate is the Government of Canada’s latest divestment tool designed to simplify the donation of surplus moveable assets to designated groups and organizations in need. Not only does this program support Canada’s socio-economic goals and commitments, it further promotes the enduring value of government surplus assets and benefits the environment by reducing landfill waste.
Visit the GCSurplus website today for more information on how you can reduce waste and help the environment by giving your surplus goods a second life. April 22, 2021, is the world’s 51st Earth Day. This annual event provides a great opportunity to think about our impact on the planet, and the benefits of green practices. This year’s theme is “Restore our Earth TM. You can find great green tips in our Earth Day article in April’s The Gigabit.
As public servants, we can also participate in two GCSurplus initiatives to help reduce our impacts on the planet.
GCDonate makes it easier to donate surplus moveable assets to designated groups and organizations in need.
GCTransfer makes it easier to transfer and reuse government surplus assets.
Visit the GCSurplus website today to learn more about how you can reduce waste and help the environment by giving your surplus goods a second life.
SSC’s Greening Government Team
129 words 281 words

51

That’s a savings of 54%!

52

So: What goes wrong? None of us plan to write poorly!
Instead of writing to our audience, we write to:
An approval process – which can feel like pushing a big rock up a steep hill! President’s Office
Executive Vice President
Assistant Deputy Minister
Director General
Director
Manager

53

Instead of writing to our readers, we often write to the approvers This is a great message! But please replace
use with utilize
help with facilitate
do with implement
fair with impartial
happy with glad

Our director prefers them, so this will speed up approvals.

54

The Solution? Be proactive. Let approvers know that you’ve applied plain language As you can see, I’ve used:
words our readers understand
the active voice
short sentences
common words, not jargon
lists, so important facts can’t hide
verbs over nouns

55

Top
Plain Language Tips

56

Top Ten Plain Language Tips Write directly to your reader.
Use the active voice.
Use shorter words and shorter sentences.
Use common words – not jargon.
Include a clear definition if you must use a hard word or technical term.
Use verbs over nouns.
Replace words that annoy many readers
Tell the truth.
Use lists:
List important points separate from the text.
List items in a parallel (the same grammatical) form.
Test what you write.

57

1. Write directly to your reader

58

Your Turn: Write directly to your reader The client can make application to the Department of Motor Vehicles for licensing before June 1.

59

The power of writing directly to your reader The client can make application to the Department of Motor Vehicles for licensing before June 1.
Becomes:
You can apply for your driver’s licence before June 1.

60

Helpful Hints (1) Be conversational, yet professional:
1. Be careful with contractions
Don’t use these confusing contractions:
you’re: readers may confuse it with your
we’re: readers may confuse it with were
we’ll: readers may confuse it with well
we’d: readers may confuse it with wed or weed
I’ll: readers may confuse it with ill

Don’t use uncommon or complex contractions such as:
should’ve (should have), could’ve (could have)
shouldn’t (should not), couldn’t (could not), wouldn’t (would not)
mightn’t (might not)
mustn’t (must not)
it’ll (it will)

61

Helpful Hints (2) Be conversational, yet professional
2. Avoid exclamation points. Why?
Overuse of exclamation points is a sign of undisciplined writing. – F. Scott Fitzgerald
The Chicago Manual of Style says the exclamation mark ‘should be used sparingly to be effective.’
A good rule to apply: Save them for those rare and special occasions where it truly stands for something amazing.

62

Helpful Hints (3) Be conversational, yet professional
3. Avoid acronyms because they can be hard to remember.
Only use acronyms you plan to use often in your text.
Introduce acronyms like this: Shared Services Canada (SSC). This tells your reader “remember this, you will see it again.”
Instead of:
Many GoC departments use acronyms for nearly everything, and SSC is no exception. For example, if your readers telework and must use SRA, make sure they know what it means, and use it consistently.
Use:
Many Government of Canada departments use acronyms for nearly everything, and Shared Services Canada (SSC) is no exception. If your readers telework and must use Secure Remote Access (SRA):
make sure they know what SRA means
use it consistently

63

Helpful Hints (5) Be conversational, yet professional
4. Use a positive tone whenever possible
Why? People don’t like dos and don’ts. They may even stop reading your text.

How? Find ways to give direction without being bossy or sounding like you think you’re smarter than your reader.

Instead of:
Do you plan to telework? Don’t forget to check out these tips, before you get started.

Use:
Do you plan to telework? These tips may help you get started.

64

Your Turn: Use a positive tone If you fail to pass the examination, you will not qualify for admission.

65

The power of a positive tone If you fail to pass the examination, you will not qualify for admission.
Becomes:

Passing the examination qualifies you for admission.

66

2. Use the active voice (1) Why? The passive voice often hides the sentence’s subject (the “doer”). Readers will ask “Whodunnit?”

How? Put a clear subject directly before the verb. If you don’t, you give your readers the right or the responsibility to decide what you mean.
Ask yourself: What is the risk if my reader does not understand my message?

67

Your Turn: Use the active voice When you have answered yes to any Official Language related question in a Treasury Board submission, the Official Languages Unit must be consulted and the Official Languages Appendix must be completed.

68

Your Turn: Use the active voice When you have answered yes to any Official Language related question in a Treasury Board submission, the Official Languages Unit must be consulted and the Official Languages Appendix must be completed.

When you answer yes to any Official Language related question in a Treasury Board submission, you must consult the Official Languages Unit and complete the official Languages Appendix.

69

2. Use the active voice (2)

70

Your Turn: Use the active voice All applications will be reviewed by the committee.

71

The power of the active voice All applications will be reviewed by the committee.

Becomes:

The hiring committee will review all applications in early April.

72

3. Use shorter words and shorter sentences 1/2 Why? Long words and long sentences make information more difficult to read and remember.

73

3. Use shorter words and shorter sentences 2/2 (2)

74

Helpful Hint Remove fillers

Instead of: There are three trusses the beam rests on.
Write: The beam rests on three trusses.

There were six workers absent from the night shift.
Six workers were absent from the night shift.
It is our plan to be in Halifax next Friday.
We plan to be in Halifax next Friday.
There are many mechanics who own their own tools.
Many mechanics own their tools.

75

Why long sentences are a problem: To ensure the security / of government networks and systems, / Shared Services Canada has / established a Supply Chain Integrity process, / which evaluates the security / of goods and services / at all stages / of the procurement process, / which in turn / ensures what we buy from suppliers / are as safe from cyber-security threats / as possible.

76

Your Turn: Use shorter words and shorter sentences - 1 Given the volume of media reports and social media activity surrounding COVID-19, we understand this can be an unsettling time. (20 words; 7 have 3 or more syllables)

77

The power of shorter words and shorter sentences - 1 Given the volume of media reports and social media activity surrounding COVID-19, we understand this can be an unsettling time.

Becomes:

News reports and social media content about COVID-19 can make us worry. (13 words; 2 have 3 or more syllables)

78

Your Turn: Use shorter words and shorter sentences - 2 Competitive first-purchase stream which leverages R&D procurement to provide Government of Canada organizations with an opportunity to test-drive cutting-edge products/services from innovative Canadian companies before they are commercially available.

79

The power of shorter words and shorter sentences - 2 Competitive first-purchase stream which leverages R&D procurement to provide Government of Canada organizations with an opportunity to test-drive cutting-edge products/services from innovative Canadian companies before they are commercially available.
Becomes:
Our first-purchase stream allows Government of Canada organizations to test-drive innovative Canadian products/services before they reach the market.

80

Plain language makes any text
easier to read.

81

Readability (1) A style of writing that is interesting, easy, or pleasant to read.

Goal:
Write a text your reader reads only once to be able to understand, remember and use it.

82

Readability (2) MS Word uses the Flesch-Kincaid readability test to help estimate the reading level (number of years in school) using word, sentence and text length.

83

Readability How the Flesch-Kincaid test works
Three things affect grade level:
The number of sentences
The number of words in a sentence
Helpful Hint: Your longest sentence should have no more than 20 words.
The number of syllables in a word

84

Let’s calculate the F-K Score: (2)

85

Readability Tests: Their limitations A readability test cannot tell you if:

Readers want/need to know the information
The information is true
The content is in logical order

86

4. Use common words – not jargon Agile
Enterprise
Collaborative
Streamlined
Enhancement
Device
Consolidated
Leverage
Migration
Procurement
Transformation
Policy instrument Optimization
Integration
Cloud brokering
Process maturity
Professionalism
Delegation
Implementation
Onboarding
Infrastructure
Gating
Flexible
Transaction
Disruptive

87

4. Use common words – not jargonGreat team exercise!

88

Your Turn: Use common words – not jargon Task project officers with reviewing key project artifacts to ensure quality and comprehensiveness of reporting.

89

The power of using common words – not jargon Task project officers with reviewing key project artifacts to ensure quality and comprehensiveness of reporting.

Becomes:

Ask project officers to review key project articles (estimates, receipts, bills, videos, photos, etc) to ensure accurate and complete reporting.

90

5. Include a definition if you must use a hard word or a technical term SSC uses the word enterprise to mean at least three different things. For example:
We deliver enterprise (government-wide) infrastructure services
We will establish the infrastructure in Enterprise Data Centres, which serve many federal organizations.
The information architecture is a description of the structure and interaction of the enterprise’s (SSC’s) major types and sources of data, logical data assets, physical data assets, and data management resources.

91

6. Use Verbs over Nouns Why? Verbs are action words. They put energy into your text and help keep your reader interested.

How? You can turn most words that end in “-ion, -ment, -age, -ing, -ance” into verbs.

92

Your Turn: Use verbs over nouns The requirement of the Department is that employees work seven and one-half hours a day.

93

The power of using verbs over nouns The requirement of the Department is that employees work seven and one-half hours a day.

Becomes:

The Department requires employees to work seven and one-half hours a day.

94

7. Replace words that annoy 1/2 It’s easy to use words that create an immediate negative reaction in your readers’ minds.
Two prime examples in my opinion, are the words:
1. Commitment. Why? Many people do not trust this claim from government texts.
How? Find a word or story that shows commitment.

Instead of:
SSC is committed to building a strong foundation of trust, value and client‑centric service excellence with its customers.
Use:
SSC is building a strong foundation of trust, value and client‑centric service excellence with its customers.

95

7. Replace words that annoy 2/2 2. Implementation.
Why? Implementation is a process.

How? Use a word that tells your readers where you are in the process

Instead of:
Shared Services Canada is implementing cyber security solutions.
Use:
Shared Services Canada is (exploring / testing / updating) cyber security solutions.

96

7. Replace “trigger" words

97

Your Turn: Replace the word committed Shared Services Canada (SSC) is committed to learning through its People Strategy and the Academy.

98

The satisfaction of replacing “committed” Shared Services Canada (SSC) is committed to learning through its People Strategy and the Academy.

Becomes:

Shared Services Canada’s People Strategy and Academy give strong support to workplace learning.

99

8. Tell the truth Why? If we brag about ourselves or we exaggerate or hide facts, our readers won’t trust us.
How?
Don’t brag. Let others speak well of us.
Limit our message to what we know is true. Avoid superlatives.

100

Tell the truth Are you interested in a career in IT? We are looking for people who want to work in a supportive and collaborative atmosphere and help the Government of Canada’s information technology systems meet federal organizations’ and Canadians’ needs.
Becomes
Are you ready for a career in IT? We are looking for people who want to help the Government of Canada’s information technology systems meet federal organizations’ needs in serving Canadians.

101

9. Use Lists (1) Why? Many people scan text quickly. They don’t read each word. No bullet points
The XYZ base provides a high level of security that will help ensure the systems, information and data housed in the new enterprise data centre are well protected. As well, the geographical area presents no major seismic or environmental risks to the building. It is also cost effective to use existing Government of Canada property, and the land was available immediately.

102

9. Use Lists (2) Why? Many people scan text quickly. They don’t read each word.

How? Bullets draw your readers’ attention to information you don’t want them to miss. No bullet points
The XYZ base provides a high level of security that will help ensure the systems, information and data housed in the new enterprise data centre are well protected. As well, the geographical area presents no major seismic or environmental risks to the building. It is also cost effective to use existing Government of Canada property, and the land was available immediately. With bullet points

Why we chose the XYZ base:

It provides a high level of security for the data centre’s systems, information and data centre.
No major seismic or environmental risks to the buildings or the people and equipment inside them are present.
As Government of Canada property, it was more affordable than other sites.
Was available for immediate development.

103

Bullet Points? Bullet points, no pattern

Why we chose the XYZ base:

It provides a high level of security for the data centre’s systems, information and data centre.
No major seismic or environmental risks to the buildings or the people and equipment inside them are present.
As Government of Canada property, it was more affordable than other sites.
Was available for immediate development. Bullet points, with pattern

A. We chose the XYZ base because it:

Provides a high level of security for the data centre’s systems, information and data centre.
Presents no major seismic or environmental risks to the buildings or the people and equipment inside them.
Costs less because it is Government of Canada property.
Is ready for development.

B. We chose base XYZ because it offers:

High security
Seismic stability
Lower costs
Immediate possession

104

Your Turn: Use Lists If you believe you have been affected by a malicious message, or if you have any questions or concerns, contact your Service Desk at 613-991-8908, local area network (LAN) administrator or regional informatics support unit (RISU).

105

The power of proper lists If you believe you have been affected by a malicious message, or if you have any questions or concerns, contact your Service Desk at 613-991-8908, local area network (LAN) administrator or regional informatics support unit (RISU).
Becomes:
If you don’t trust a message you receive:
Talk to the sender
Contact your local Area Network Administrator
Contact your Regional Information Support Unit

106

10. Test what you write Always ask someone else to read and comment on what you write.
Note: This is most helpful if you get this feedback from someone in your target audience. It will be easier for them to find problems the first time they read a text than for you, after you have spent hours, days or weeks writing the text.

107

I believe plain language will help you: Improve your credibility
Improve your customer relations
Show greater respect to your readers

108

Do you: Have questions?
Want useful plain language links, tools and resources?
Contact:
PlainLanguage.LangageClair@outlook.com

109

Quote – William Wiberforce “You may choose to look the other way but you can never say again that you did not know.”

– William Wilberforce

Plain Language: a clear voice for Canada Please

Related Topics

Download this presentation From Below

Presentation Transcript

Plain Language: a clear voice for Canada Please

Related Topics

Download this presentation From Below

Share

Embed code

Presentation Transcript