Spirituality and People with Disability in the Context of H - PowerPoint Presentation

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Spirituality and People with Disability in the Context of Human Sexuality

by Karenne Hills

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Human Wholeness

Personhood

Intellectual

PsychologicalRelationalEmotionalPhysical Visionary

Ethical

Gender

Spiritual

Sexual

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Messages about Sexuality and Disability

Where

did you first get your sexuality information from? Were these messages…

–

positive or negative?

–

true or false?

Think

of

the stereotypes

that you have

heard about people

with a disability and sexuality

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Traditional Attitudes to Sexuality

Contemporary attitudes informed by

the early church

Over time negative attitudes and beliefs saw sexual pleasure as a sinAny idea that viewed sex outside the purposes of procreation was discouraged

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Religious Attitudes to Sex

The Jewish tradition endorsed the sexual relationship between two loving people as ‘natural’ and ‘intrinsically good’(Hawkes, 2004)

The amalgamation of body and spirit was celebrated by Jews and sexual expression and sensual pleasures were celebrated (Lawrence, 2007)

The Jewish law of Onah

dictated the right of every Jewish woman to sexual fulfilment by her husband, in fact it was a commandment for a woman to receive pleasure (

Biale

, 1997)

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Religious Attitudes to Sex

The Jewish tradition purported a positive view towards sex through the explicit nature of the Song of Songs (Song of Solomon) (Lawrence, 2007)

Through the Song, we come to understand a complete integration of our human physicality/sexuality with our spirituality

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Song of Solomon

The

Song provided

a template for marital sexual behaviour within the holy scriptures

The song’s theme is human sexual fulfilment which is

fervently

sought and consummated in reciprocal

love

between a woman and a man

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Song of Solomon

The Song of Solomon was included in the Canon to counter the emerging strength and control of the Platonic and Stoic influence on the Roman world where true religion was separated from sexual pleasure

There is no transcendence of sexual pleasure in the song, nor in the biblical world generally. Both the Jews and early Christians were comfortable with the blessings of sexual pleasure, it was only later Christianity that changed this

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Desire

Desire is fundamental to every human action,

therefore can never be disabledWhatever is done in life begins with desireDesire is the beginning of everything (

Don Miguel Ruiz, 2012)

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Desire and Humanness

Desire is at the centre of every human heart, and personal growth is the progressive liberation of desire. This desire will not be fully liberated until a person comes to the deepest self, where identity is at one with God

Real desire is to be more and more myself in the mystery in which I am

Desire can be motivated out of either emptiness or fullnessDesire is love trying to happen(Moore, 1989)

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Desire From Fullness or Emptiness

Dr David

Schnarch’s Relationship ModelEncourages couples to reach for each other from a self-validated space rather than reaching out from a need for validation from the other

We reach for spirituality from either fullness or emptinessDesire out of emptiness eventually leads to destruction (Ruiz, 2010)

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Desire out of Fullness

Originates from within oneself

Views one as God’s creation therefore desire-ableLoveable because loved by GodNot an emptiness needing to be filled but a fullness needing to be in relation

Desire is love trying to happen(Moore, 1989)16Slide17

Desire and Humanness

Desire turns basic human need into a fulfilling meaning. The need for food becomes a beautiful meal, the need for shelter becomes a home, and the need for intimacy and connection becomes sexual desire

No human desire is in such need of being understood correctly, yet for no desire is this need less met by our Christian tradition

(Moore, 1989, pp. 93-94)17Slide18

Thoughts about Desire

Everything

about love also begins with

desireEvery human action begins with a desireHuman desire can go in two directions

Obsession and possession – lead to destruction

Passion and sharing - to share oneself, in authenticity, is the passion of any person

(Don Miguel Ruiz, 2010)

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Human Desire

Part of

everybody’s

passion, is to share oneself just the way they are. When this desire is realised, then passion becomes inspiration. What I create through my passion becomes inspirational (Don Miguel Ruiz, 2012)

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Liberation of Desire

Desire is the centre of every human heart

Desire will not be fully liberated until one comes to the deepest self, where identity is one with God

Desire is a spiritual questHuman desire can, and is, liberated in relation to identity with God(Moore, 1989, pp. 93-94)

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Love and Desire: Spirituality

and

Sexuality

Desire … is an unquenchable fire, a restlessness, a longing, a disquiet

, a hunger, a loneliness, a gnawing nostalgia,

a wildness

that cannot be tamed, a congenital

all‐embracing ache

that lies at the

centre

of human experience and is

the ultimate

force that drives everything else. Sometimes it

hits us

as pain. At other times as a deep energy, as something beautiful, as

an inexorable pull, more important than anything else inside us, toward love, beauty, creativity, and a future beyond our limited present. Desire can show

itself as

aching pain or delicious hope. Spirituality is, ultimately

, about

what we do with that

desire.

(

Rolheiser

, 1999, pp. 4-5)

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Challenges

……

Silence – because in any setting, sex can be hard to talk aboutMyths – stereotypical ideas and falsehoods about people with a disabilityNon – engagement, because of fear and lack of understanding about the life experiences of people with disability

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Sex Can be Hard to Talk

about

Parents and caregivers often display ‘an utter blindness’ to the sexual needs of disabled people (Doyle, 2014)

Confusion and fear can create ignoranceIgnorance creates vulnerabilityExploitation is a very real consideration23Slide24

Sex C

an be

Hard to

Talk about

There is a tension between protecting

a

nd providing opportunities for

e

xploration and discovery

People with disabilities are less likely to

h

ave access to information and

opportunities

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The Role of the Carer

Acknowledge that sexuality exists

Value the client’s sexuality

Explore and come to terms with your own fears and biasesWherever possible, discuss the topic with your client or family memberWherever possible, provide educationProvide opportunities for appropriate touch and exploration

Know when to seek help or when to refer

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Interdependence

Provide

unique insight into what it means to be

truly humanTeach how to integrate weakness and brokenness into everyday life (Vanier,1998)

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C

ontemporary Thoughts

Religious and moral beliefs often make

talking about sex difficult

Touching Base – Rachel Wotton

The Sessions – Cheryl Cohen-Green

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Common Myths about Sexuality and People with a Disability

People with disabilities, old age or chronic illnesses are

asexual, and are incapable of sexual functioning

People with disability cannot control their sexual desiresIf people with disability are taught about sexuality and allowed to express their sexuality they will not be able to control themselvesPeople with disability are predatory and

more likely to commit sex crimes

People with disability

can’t learn to express sexuality in a socially appropriate way (deviance)

People in institutions

shouldn’t have sex

Sex is private

People with disabilities

don’t get sexually assaulted

People with disabilities

don’t need sex education

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Rene Girard’s Mimetic Theory

We borrow our desires from others

Individualism is impossible because we only want the sense of worth and significance that our desired object brings for others

Rivalry and conflict eventuateCommon grouping against the scapegoat(Girard, trans. 1986)

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Scapegoat

Elimination of the scapegoat allows society to maintain its status

quo (Girard, trans. 1986)How society contains

violence (Moore, 1989)Everyone focuses on one person or group to direct their discomfort uponPeople with disabilities societal scapegoats

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Challenges

……

Sex can be hard to talk about

Stereotypical beliefs about sexuality and disability create societal mythsThe human needs and desires of people with disability are then ignored, misunderstood or not adequately appreciated because of the ignorance or fear of othersYet………..Our sexuality is one of the deepest aspects of our humanness

So talking about sex and sexuality in a sincere way, ultimately becomes a spiritual conversation

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Something to Ponder

Words that Describe Spirituality

Wholeness Personal Devotion Reverence

Sacred Safety Consecration Sincerity

Relationship Zeal Meaning Intensity

Fidelity Passion Attachment Transcendence

Love Sanctity Trust Dedication

Enthusiasm Affection Allegiance Communion

Letting Go Gratitude Warmth Joy

Can Also be

U

sed to Describe Sexuality

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Sexuality and Spirituality

Sexuality and Spirituality two sides of the same coin

Sexuality – physical experienceSpirituality – soul or spiritBoth aiming for transcendence – to rise above our humanness to eventually find God

(Rohr, 1994)34Slide35

Sexuality and Spirituality

Human spirituality is best defined as our irrepressible hunger and quest for meaning in all aspects of life. Human sexuality is best defined as our irrepressible hunger and quest for union with other persons and the meaning of life found in the wholeness that such union brings. Yet, sexuality and spirituality are not two different things. They are two names for the same thing: the irrepressible human quest for meaning, fulfilment, union and wholeness. They are not in any way at odds with one another, as they have been made to seem in the polarising attitudes about sexuality and spirituality popular in human society (Capps, 2009)

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Sexuality and Spirituality

Sexuality and Spirituality are the same vital inner force in us. When this force reaches out through our psyches toward God, in our longing for the infinite and transcendent or eternal, we call it spirituality. When that same force reaches out through our physical bodies towards another human, in our longing for the finite and visceral experience of union in that relationship, we call it sexuality. In both cases it is the same force, the same longing for wholeness or completeness, the same desire for communication, communion, and consummation (

Ellens

, 2009, xvi)

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T

he Gates of the Temple

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Sexuality and Spirituality

Watching so many things fall into place by simply

studying sex and relationships has dramatically impacted my spirituality. For me, studying differentiation has fostered an appreciation for the spirituality of everyday life and the elegance of the Grand Design (Schnarch

, 2002)

Sexuality is a good gift meant to draw persons into deeper levels of knowing self, partner and God

Sexuality and Spirituality are intricately

connected (

Balswick

&

Balswick

, 2008)

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Perichoresis

The model of the Christian Godhead

God in relationship with Himself in the TrinityThe intimate dance of the Father, Son and Spirit Each holds their own identity as well as being indelibly intertwined with the other

Three persons yet one GodSexual union in marriage the clearest comparison(Grandy & Ingerson, 2012; Johnson, 1993)

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Relationship

The greatest commandment is to love God and love your neighbour as yourself, for without both parts of this we cannot call ourselves spiritual

Christian teaching on sexuality concerned not only with creating our capacity for relationship, but also our right to

relationshipSexuality and Spirituality have the same goal – LOVE(Rohr, 1994)

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Thoughts on Sexuality and Spirituality

Sexuality and spirituality are intricately interwoven, that when one is impoverished, the other is warped and that there is some kind of crucially important connection between the journey toward God and the journey toward coming to terms with our own sexual embodiment (Carr, 2003)

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Recap

Sexuality and Spirituality as integral parts of humanness

Historical and Biblical contributions to present day societal constructs about sexuality

Desire - and it’s integral part of humannessThat desire can be either fulfilled which leads to passion and inspiration, or unfulfilled which leads to obsession and destructionDesire can originate out of fullness or emptiness

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Recap

con’t

Our desire is liberated when our identity is one with God

Challenges to a conversation about sexuality for people with a disabilityCommon myths about Sexuality and DisabilityDesire

is love trying to happen

Perichoresis

, the intimate dance of the Trinity

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In Conclusion

Sexuality, Spirituality and People With a Disability

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Last Word

“When we touch the place in our lives where sexuality and spirituality come together, we touch our wholeness and the fullness of our power, and at the same time our connection with a power larger than ourselves

.”(

Plaskow, 1991)

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References

Balswick

, J.K., &

Balswick, J.O. (2008). Authentic human sexuality (2nd ed.). Downers

Grove, IL: Intervarsity Press.

Biale

, D. (1997).

Eros and the Jews. From biblical Israel to

contemporary

American.

Los

Angeles: University

of California

Press.Brown, B. (2010).

The power of vulnerability. Presented at TEDxHouston, Houston, TX.

Capps

, D. (2009). Forward. In J. H.

Ellens

,

The spirituality of

sex

(pp. xi-xiv). Westport

, CT:

Praeger.

Carr

, D. (2003).

The erotic word. Sexuality, spirituality, and the bible.

New York

, NY:

Oxford

University Press.Doyle, T. (2014, April 21). In T. Fitzherbert, Let’s talk about sex education and disability. The Guardian. Retrieved from http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2014/apr/20/lets-talk-about-sex- education-disability46Slide47

References

Ellens

, H. (2009). The spirituality of sex. Westport, CT: Praeger.

Girard, R. (1986). The scapegoat (Y. Freccero, trans.). Baltimore, MD: John Hopkins

University

Press.

Grandy

, D., &

Ingerson

, M. (2012). The

perichoresis

of light.

Theology and Science,

10(3), 259-280.

Hawkes

, G. (2004).

Sex and pleasure in western culture.

Cambridge, UK: Polity

Press.

Johnson

, E. (1993).

She who is: The mystery of God in feminist discourse.

New York, NY:

Crossroad

.

Lawrence

, R. (2007).

Sexual liberation. The scandal

of Christendom

.

London

, UK: Praeger.Moore, S. (1989). Jesus the liberator of desire. New York, NY: Crossroad.Plaskow, J. (1991). Standing again at Sinai: Judaism from a feminist perspective. New York, NY: HarperOne.47Slide48

References

Rohr, R. (1994).

Gate of the Temple: Spirituality and sexuality [Audio

cassette/MP3]. Credence Cassettes. ISBN-13: 978-9994527229.Rolheiser, R. (1999). The holy longing. The search for a Christian spirituality. New York,

NY: Random House

.

Ruiz

, D. M. (2010).

Desire

[

Utube

video]. Retrieved from

www.youtube.com/watch?v=rr3YCGfNk34

Ruiz

, D. M. (2012, August 25-26). It’s time to make an agreement to live a better life

! Paper presented at I can do it! 2012, Sydney Exhibition and Convention Centre,

Sydney, NSW, Australia.

Schnarch

, D. (2002).

Resurrecting sex. Solving sexual problems &

revolutionizing your

relationship

.

New York,

NY: HarperCollins.

Vanier, J. (1998).

On becoming human.

Mahwah, NJ:

Paulist

Press.

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