Friends Family and Kinship Bruce Henderson Queer Studies Beyond Binaries Harrington Park Press 2019 Queer Sociality Definition the ways in which queer people form and sustain attachments to each other ID: 1044612
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1. Chapter 8:Queering SocialityFriends, Family, and Kinship Bruce Henderson, Queer Studies: Beyond Binaries, Harrington Park Press 2019
2. Queer SocialityDefinition: the ways in which queer people form and sustain attachments to each otherElizabeth Povinelli: sexual pleasure as a fundamental form of such bonding”social bond of shared enjoyment:For trans people, social bonding may reside of in shared pleasure of identities and desire for connection Bruce Henderson, Queer Studies: Beyond Binaries, Harrington Park Press 2019
3. Evolutionary Arguments in Favor of Same-Sex RelationsMay rein in overpopulation (in urban areas, especially)Queer relatives may play altruistic rolesQueer family members may reproduce values, traditions, and opportunities Bruce Henderson, Queer Studies: Beyond Binaries, Harrington Park Press 2019
4. Queer ParentsIn past, often a result of either earlier closeted life or later recognition of same-sex identityToday, more often intentional, parenting as queer personMay be collaborative, with other queer people or mixture of queer and nonqueer “parents” Bruce Henderson, Queer Studies: Beyond Binaries, Harrington Park Press 2019
5. Kath Watson, Families We Choose (1997)Families of origin: “blood” families into which people are bornFamilies of choice: composition and function of families not purely defined by biological links and relationships Bruce Henderson, Queer Studies: Beyond Binaries, Harrington Park Press 2019
6. Varieties of “Families of Choice”Bar culture: mixture of older and younger queer peoplePlaces of mentorship and social and erotic initiationFamily roles: “aunts,” “uncles,” “nephews,” “nieces”Jenny Livingston, Paris is Burning (1990)Focus on Harlem ball scenes (vogueing)Primarily African American or LatinxSafety, security, and affection Bruce Henderson, Queer Studies: Beyond Binaries, Harrington Park Press 2019
7. Spotlight: Steve and Alyssa Abbott—“Fairyland”Steve Abbott: gay man, married and became fatherWriter and social/political activist in San FranciscoRaised daughter Alyssa after her mother died in car accidentAlyssa also connected to other queer people in Steve’s kinship circles (lesbians, trans people, drag queens)Alyssa returned to care for Steve as he was dying of AIDS Bruce Henderson, Queer Studies: Beyond Binaries, Harrington Park Press 2019
8. From Strangers to Friends to Lovers to Family:Dating, Mating, and BeyondMeeting sites: bar culture of pre-Stonewall eraKennedy and Davis: working-class lesbian bars in Buffalo, NYBrown: Kirmser’s, 1940s bar in St. Paul, MN”Switching” bars: example of bar in upstate NY that was understood to be “gay” one Saturday night a month Bruce Henderson, Queer Studies: Beyond Binaries, Harrington Park Press 2019
9. Lisa Wade, American Hookup: The New Culture of Sex on Campus (2017)Queer students often feel excluded from campus hookup culturePerception of sexual activity greater than actual incidenceNonverbal activities, such as “grinding”Gender disparities:Women “permitted” to make out publicly (especially if they identify as heterosexual or bisexual)Men may be allowed to hookup if one time only and product of drunkenness; must be done with no public physical contactBruce Henderson, Queer Studies: Beyond Binaries, Harrington Park Press 2019
10. Wade, continuedConcern that hookup culture leads to depersonalization of sexual and interpersonal connectionsExample: Lincoln and Terrell Bruce Henderson, Queer Studies: Beyond Binaries, Harrington Park Press 2019
11. Friend-Kin-Lover The “friend” zoneFor queer men especially, there may be fluidity among roles of friend and lover, leading to broader sense of kinshipExample: Choire Sicha, Very Recent History (2013) Bruce Henderson, Queer Studies: Beyond Binaries, Harrington Park Press 2019
12. Women’s and Transgender ExperiencesWomen in general less likely to hookup on first dateMore likely to be serial monogamistsLesbians are more likely to remain friends after the end of the romantic phase of relationshipTransgender people may face more complications given the need for both gender identity and sexual desire concordance Bruce Henderson, Queer Studies: Beyond Binaries, Harrington Park Press 2019
13. Long-Term RelationshipsCouples, regardless of sexual identities, tend to move over time into “companionate” relationshipsCompanionate relationships may remain both sexual and romantic, but less intensely soReports of greater satisfaction in companionate relationshipsEspecially for queer people (and especially for queer men), may result in mutual decisions to alter expectation of monogamy (if it was an expectation to begin with): consensual nonmonogamy Bruce Henderson, Queer Studies: Beyond Binaries, Harrington Park Press 2019
14. More Than TwoPolyamory: being romantically and/or sexually involved with more than one other person at one timePolygamy: being in a domestic or marriage-like structure with more than one other person at one time.Polysexual: being involved sexually with more than one person, not romantically Bruce Henderson, Queer Studies: Beyond Binaries, Harrington Park Press 2019
15. To Marry or Not to Marry?Post-Stonewall: growth of commitment ceremoniesJohn Boswell, gay scholar, Same-Sex Unions in Pre-Modern Europe (1994):Argued that early Roman Catholic Church supported same-sex unions, had rituals for commitmentReceived criticism from some other scholars about translations or context Bruce Henderson, Queer Studies: Beyond Binaries, Harrington Park Press 2019
16. Weddings as Performative Speech ActsSpeech acts: utterances that cause things to “happen”Vows: “I do” or “I take you…”Officiant: “I now pronounce you...”Varied settings:Churches and other places of religious worshipCourthousesPrivate homes and other venues Bruce Henderson, Queer Studies: Beyond Binaries, Harrington Park Press 2019
17. Why Not Marry?Some queer people prefer not to make a commitment to one other personSome see it as “aping” or “reproducing” heteronormative attitudes and practicesSome see it as working against all unmarried but committed couples (queer and straight) Bruce Henderson, Queer Studies: Beyond Binaries, Harrington Park Press 2019
18. Marriage and Transgender PeopleSome see marriage as heightening discrimination against transgender people, because of legal issues around genderMay reinforce gender binaries in harmful waysIf married before transitioning, some transgender people choose to remain in the marriage; for others, pre-Obergefell laws made it impossible for trans people to marry legally Bruce Henderson, Queer Studies: Beyond Binaries, Harrington Park Press 2019
19. Kinship and Aging:Older LGBT PersonsSuccessful aging:Physical well-beingMental well-beingSocial well-being Bruce Henderson, Queer Studies: Beyond Binaries, Harrington Park Press 2019
20. Jesus Ramirez-Valles:Queer Aging: The Gayby Boomers and New Frontiers for Gerontology (2016)Experience of older queer people has been understudied and undertheorized“normative” older person studied remains white, middle-class, male, heterosexual“gayby boomers”: LGB people born between WWII and ca. 1965many queer men in this range died during AIDS epidemic Bruce Henderson, Queer Studies: Beyond Binaries, Harrington Park Press 2019
21. Role of Families of Choice for Older Queer PeopleOlder queer people may have experienced estrangement from families of originCourts have sided in custody battles with nonqueer parentsWhen parent transitions to a sex or gender other than the one a child grew up knowing:May lead to child (often as adult) questioning past family historySusan Faludi, In the Darkroom (father transitioned late in life)Alison Bechdel, Fun Home (lesbian cartoonist, closeted gay father, graphic novel and then musical) Bruce Henderson, Queer Studies: Beyond Binaries, Harrington Park Press 2019
22. Networks of Caring for Older Queer PeopleLoneliness: one of the barriers obstructing successful agingQueer women:Nancy C. Nystrom , Pacific Northwest, created network that provided financial and labor support to enabled older lesbians in their homesOLOC: Older Lesbians Organizing for changeQueer men: less successful in networking to provide care for each other Bruce Henderson, Queer Studies: Beyond Binaries, Harrington Park Press 2019
23. SAGE (Service & Advocacy for GLBT Elders):Unique Challenges for Transgender Older AdultsLack of services (meals, transportation, education and legal services)Lack of cultural competence by providers of service, causing bias and discrimination, esp. in physical and mental healthPoorer health outcomes: higher rates of disability, depression, anxiety, and suicidal ideationBarriers based on violence, employment discrimination, ability to get necessary identification papers and cards Bruce Henderson, Queer Studies: Beyond Binaries, Harrington Park Press 2019
24. Spotlight on Retirement Communities:Problems Faced by Queer PeopleNursing home and assisted facilities: queer couples may have to live in different rooms; often single queer people feel forced back in the closet.May contribute to anxiety and depressionTrans people may find gender identities disconfirmed Bruce Henderson, Queer Studies: Beyond Binaries, Harrington Park Press 2019
25. Housing Initiatives for Aging Queer PeopleGLARP (Gay & Lesbian Association of Retired Persons): “retiring” not “retired”founded in 1996 by Mary Thorndal and Veronica St. Clairefocuses on housing options Bruce Henderson, Queer Studies: Beyond Binaries, Harrington Park Press 2019
26. Other Initiatives in Queer Housing for SeniorsThe Palms of Manasota (Florida): first retirement community aimed at queer seniorswent bankrupt and no longer exists recent community initiatives in Los Angeles, New Mexico, OregonTriangle Square (Hollywood, CA):affordable apartmentspercentage of housing saved for seniors living with AIDSsliding scale for rent (minimum eligibility: $13, 000)still out of range for some retired/unemployed/underemployed Bruce Henderson, Queer Studies: Beyond Binaries, Harrington Park Press 2019