Safe Dates Session 8 - PowerPoint Presentation

Slide1

Safe Dates Session 8

How we feel, how we dealSlide2

Classroom Rules

Respect each others opinions

Listen to each other ( No talking while someone else is speaking)

No Names

1 person is talking at time

No Laughing Slide3

Review

Name the 8 communication skills for resolving conflict and describe them.

Hint: Safe DateSlide4

8 skills of effective communication

S

ecure

your center

A

sk clarifying questionsF ind out what your partner’s feelings areE xpress your FeelingsD etermine what’s important to youA cknowledge what’s important to your partnerT hink about your similarities and differencesE xchange ideas for a possible solution

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Learner Outcomes

Express

your

feelings

and emotions in various ways

Understand

the importance of acknowledging and communicating

your feelingsIdentify situations that trigger anger Identify physiological and psychological cues that someone is angryIdentify a variety nonviolent ways to respond to angerUnderstand that you have a choice in how to respond to anger Slide6

Extending your feeling vocabulary

All feelings are important

Feelings often tell us what is right and wrong

They can also tell us if we need to make changes about a situation

What are some other feelings that people have besides mad, sad, and happy

?

In small groups come up with 3-5 feelings and list them on the board

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Extending your feeling vocabulary

(

Continued)

Important to have a big feeling

vocabulary, Why?

We can’t change our feelings, but we can learn skills to deal with our feelings

Anger is a feeling that we have sometimes and you will you will feel angry with your boyfriend and girlfriend at some point

It’s ok to be angry How you deal with your anger makes the difference between a healthy and unhealthy relationship Slide8

Hot Buttons

What are “Hot Buttons”?

Hot Buttons are those things that make you angry whenever you feel, see, or hear them. Hot buttons are the things that irritate you, “get under your skin”, or in other ways make you angry

Take a minute and think about what your “

H

ot Buttons” are and write them down on the top half of Handout 23Slide9

Knowing when you’re angry

Hot Buttons cause us to be angry

Bodies give us clues when we’re angry both physical and psychological

2

types of Anger :

1. Immediate

2. Pent-upWhat is the Difference?On the bottom of Handout 23 please write some cues to Immediate/Pent-up Anger Slide10

Knowing when you’re angry (

Continued

)

Some Responses to immediate Anger

Clenching fists

Grinding teeth

Sweaty palms

Increased heart rateTensing musclesGlaringScowling Change in arm/body position Chills, goose bumps, shuddersHeadache Red FaceGet very Quiet Watering EyesHard to Swallow“Butterflies” in the stomach Slide11

Knowing when you’re angry ( Continued

Some

Responses to

Pent-up

Anger

Fantasize about telling someone off

Start resenting the person

Start making nasty comments about the person Withdraw from the person Find yourself obsessing over the situation Slide12

Defusing Anger

Many teens who have been abusive to their dating partner claim that they were so angry, it was uncontrollable

After the so-called uncontrollable anger was gone they were sorry and had feelings of guilt

You may only have a few seconds between the time a Hot Button is pushed and how you decide to react to it while you are still thinking clearly Slide13

Defusing Anger

What are some things you could do in the few seconds after your Hot Button is pushed, but when your thinking is still clear?

Talking to myself(positive self-talk)

Walking/running

Counting

Controlling my breathing

Crying

Walking away/removing self from the situationHitting a pillowExercising strenuouslyAsking someone for advice Explaining to the person why I’m angry Playing with pet Listening to music Slide14

Defusing Anger

Once you’ve calmed down you can use the

Safe Date

communication skills

When you’re controlling your anger its possible to ask clarifying questions, tell the person how your feeling, and listen to the person express their feelings

Anger if uncontrolled can be a warning sign that we are in a situation we need to changeSlide15

Dealing with anger

Exercise Part 1:

Take out piece of paper and think about a time when you were angry

Write a description of what made you angry (Hot Button)

How you knew you were angry ( immediate or pent-up)

What you did as a result of your angerSlide16

Dealing with anger

Exercise Part

2:

With your partner come up with a list of positive, nonviolent ways that you could respond to the situation

Circle the one you like bestSlide17

Conclusion

Anger is controllable

You can teach yourself to do things that reduce your anger without hurting others

Controlling your anger is easier when you recognize your Hot Buttons

Look for the physical & psychological cues

Make a plan to deal with anger