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This article was downloaded by: [University of Michigan]On: 29 May 2013, At: 15:42Publisher: RoutledgeInforma Ltd Registered in England and Wales Registered Number: 1072954 Registered office: Mortimer House,37-41 Mortimer Street, London W1T 3JH, UK Journal of Sex ResearchPublication details, including instructions for authors and subscription information:http://www.tandfonline.com/loi/hjsr20 Women's Negotiation of Cunnilingus in College Hookupsand RelationshipsLaura Backstrom a , Elizabeth A. Armstrong b & Jennifer Puentes aa Department of Sociology, Indiana Universityb Department of Sociology, University of MichiganPublished online: 24 Jun 2011. To cite this article: Laura Backstrom , Elizabeth A. Armstrong & Jennifer Puentes (2012): Women's Negotiation of Cunnilingusin College Hookups and Relationships, Journal of Sex Research, 49:1, 1-12To link to this article: http://dx.doi.org/10.1080/00224499.2011.585523 PLEASE SCROLL DOWN FOR ARTICLE Full terms and conditions of use: http://www.tandfonline.com/page/terms-and-conditions This article may be used for research, teaching, and private study purposes. Any substantial or systematicreproduction, redistribution, reselling, loan, sub-licensing, systematic supply, or distribution in any form toanyone is expressly forbidden.The publisher does not give any warranty express or implied or make any representation that the contentswill be complete or accurate or up to date. The accuracy of any instructions, formulae, and drug doses shouldbe independently verified with primary sources. The publisher shall not be liable for any loss, actions, claims,proceedings, demand, or costs or damages whatsoever or howsoever caused arising directly or indirectly inconnection with or arising out of the use of this material. WomensNegotiationofCunnilingusinCollegeHookupsandRelationshipsLauraBackstromDepartmentofSociology,IndianaUniversityElizabethA.ArmstrongDepartmentofSociology,UniversityofMichiganJenniferPuentesDepartmentofSociology,IndianaUniversityUsingin-depthinterviewswith43collegewomenwhowere,onaverage,21yearsold WethankBrianPowellandMartinWeinbergfortheirhelpfulcommentsonanearlierversionofthearticle.CorrespondenceshouldbeaddressedtoLauraBackstrom,Depart-mentofSociology,IndianaUniversity,BallantineHall744,1020E.KirkwoodAve.,Bloomington,IN47405.E-mail:labbacks@indiana.Among20-to24-year-olds,thepercentageofmenwhohad Simon,1987;Laumannetal.,1994).Inthelastfewyears,therehasbeenincreasinginterestinscholarsinthepracticeofhookingup,which,followingtheleadofyoungpeople,scholarshavede“nedassexualactivity,rangingfromakisstointercourse,occurringoutsideofanexclusiverelationship(Bogle,2008;England,Shafer,&Fogarty,2007;Manning,Giordano,&Longmore,2006;Owen,Rhoades,Stanley,&Fincham,2010;Paul,McManus,&Hayes,2000).ThisscholarshipsometimesexaggeratesthenoveltyofcasualsexamongAmericanadolescents.Indeed,thelargestbehavioralchangeoccurredwiththeBabyBoomcohort:Ratesofpremaritalintercourseareroughlythesameforallcohortsbornafter1948(Finer,2007).Yet,themeaningsofcasualsexforyoungpeoplehavecontinuedtoevolveinthepost-sexualrevolutionera.Casualsexhasbecomemorenormative,andnewtypesofrelationships(e.g.,friendswithbene“ts)continuetoemerge(Armstrong,Hamilton,&England,2010).Aconvergenceofmensandwomenspremaritalsex-ualpracticesmarksathirdchangeinAmericansexualityoverthelast50years.Forexample,Laumannetal.(1994)reportedthat26.4%ofmenbornbetween1933and1943didnothavepremaritalsexualintercourse,andthisproportiononlyslightlydecreasedto22%formenbornbetween1963and1974.Incontrast,55.1%ofwomenbornbetween1933and1943reportedneverhavingsexualintercoursebeforemarriageascomparedto30.2%ofthosebornbetween1963and1974.Thischangeisassociatedwitharelaxation„althoughnotthedemiseof„genderdoublestandardswithrespecttosexuality.Armstrong,England,andFogarty(2009,2010)arguedthatoneofthechangesinthistimeperiodhasbeenthedeclineofthissexualdoublestandardwithincommittedrelationshipsoutsideofmarriage.Thishasnottranslatedintosimilarapprovalofsexforwomeninmorecasualcontexts.Manyscholarsreportthatyoungpeoplestilljudgewomenwhohavesexout-sideofrelationshipsmoreharshlythanmen(Carpenter,2001;Martin,1996;Tolman,2002).Thereisstillmuchwedonotknowabouthowthesechangesinsexualscriptsshapethesexualexperiencesofcontemporaryyoungpeople.Inthisarticle,wecontrib-utetoknowledgeinthisareabydrawingonin-depthinterviewswithundergraduatewomeninwhichtheydis-cusstheirexperiencesofcunnilingusincasualandcom-mittedrelationshipcontexts.Wefocusedonoralsexbecauseofitschangingplaceinsexualscriptsandoncunnilingusbecauseofrecentchangesingenderexpecta-tionsrelatedtosexuality.Bycomparinghookupsandrelationships,wegaininsightintohowsexualscriptsvarybylevelofcommitment.ThatcunnilingusincasualsexiscommonenoughnowamongAmericanyoungadultstostudyisaconsequenceofthechangesdescribedearlier.Yet,wesuspectthatthechangesarenotsocompleteastomakethenegotiationofcunnilin-gusamongyoungpeopleunproblematic.ScriptingTheoryandtheExperienceofCunnilingusScriptingtheoryassumesthatthemeaningsthatindi-vidualsattributetosexualityderive,inpart,fromsociallife.AccordingtoSimonandGagnon(1986)[C]ulturalscenariosnotonlyspecifyappropriateobjects,aims,anddesirablequalitiesofself-otherrelationsbutalsoinstructintimes,places,sequencesofgestureandutteranceand,amongthemostimportant,whattheactorandhisorherco-participants(realorimagined)areassumedtobefeeling.(p.105)Theexistenceofculturalscenariosdoesnotdeter-minethe”owofsexualevents,asculturalscenariosaresometimesambiguousormaybeoutofsyncwithscriptingattheinterpersonalorintrapsychiclevel.GagnonandSimon(1987)highlightedthecomplexityofthemeaningsassociatedwithoralsex,notingthattheincor-porationoforalsexintothesexuallivesofyoungpeopleinvolvedsubstantialambivalencesanddif“culties:Wemustkeepinmindthemultipleoforalsexwhicharelesswellmeasuredoroftenmayonlybeinferredonthebasisofinadequateevidence.Atdifferenttimesinthesamerelationshiporindifferingrelation-shipsthesamephysicalmovementsmaybeperformedasanavoidanceofcoitus,anexpressionofintimacy,asignoferoticcompetence,ameasureofdegradationoftheselforthepartner.(p.24)AlthoughsubstantialtimehaspassedsinceGagnonandSimonwrote,morerecentresearchsuggeststhatoralsexcontinuestocarryamultiplicityofmeanings.Laumannandcolleagues(1994)foundtheprevalenceandappealoforalsextobeunevenandsuggestedthatthepracticecontinuestobefraughtwithsymbolicambiguityinthecontemporaryUnitedStates(p.101).Indeed,peopletendtobeevenlysplitintermsofwhethertheyconsideroralsextocountashavingsex(Chambers,2007;Sanders&Reinisch,1999).FollowingSimonandGagnon(1986),weapproachedthisstudyexpectingto“ndthemeaningsassociatedwithcunnilin-gustobecontextdependentandembeddedinthemean-ingsthatindividualsandgroupsbringtotheencounter.Weturnedtoscholarshipongenderandthebodytodevelopmorespeci“cexpectationsaboutthemeaningsyoungpeopleattachtocunnilingus.AmbivalenceaboutWomensBodiesInWesternculture,womenarebombardedwithmes-sageslinkingfemininitytospeci“cappearancestandards(Bordo,1993).Imagesofbeautytypicallyfocusonthefaceand“gure„particularlythebreastsandbuttocks„whilecelebrationofimperfectbodiesandfemalegenitaliaislargelyabsent.ThevaginaisoftenBACKSTROM,ARMSTRONG,ANDPUENTES representedassmelly,dirty,andpotentiallydiseased(Braun&Wilkinson,2001).Womensgenitalsarefre-quentlyconstructedasasourceofconcernthroughadvicecolumns,advertisementsforfemininehygieneproducts,expectationsthathairberemovedthroughshavingorwaxing,andpromisestoimprovevaginalappearancethroughfemalegenitalplasticsurgery(Braun,2005;Braun&Kitzinger,2001).Whileallsexualpracticesinvolvebodies,”uids,geni-tals,smells,tastes,andsensations,bringingthefaceintocontactwiththegenitalshighlightstheembodiednatureofsexualityinaparticularlydirectway.Onewouldexpect,then,thatculturalambivalenceaboutfemalegenitaliamightleadwomentofeelshameabouttheirgenitalsandtoexperiencereluctancetoreceiveoralsex(Braun&Wilk-inson,2001).Researchershavefoundthatcomfortwithweightandaspectsofthebody,suchassweatandbodyhair,impactsexualsatisfactionandsexualdecision-making(Schooler&Ward,2006;Schooler,Ward,Merri-wether,&Caruthers,2005;Weinberg&Williams,2010;Wiederman,2000;Wiederman&Hurst,1998).ReinholtzandMuehlenhard(1995)foundthatcollegestudentshadmoderatelypositivegenitalperceptionsoverall,althoughwomenexpressedmorenegativeper-ceptionsoftheirgenitalsandtheirpartnersgenitalsthanmen.Positivegenitalperceptionsincreasedsexualexperi-enceandenjoyment,butgenitalperceptionappearstobecontextdependent.Bothmenandwomenreportedgreat-erworryabouttheirgenitalswhilereceivingoralsexthanduringmasturbation,andexpressedthatwomenaremorelikelyseenasdegradedbyperformingandreceivingoralsexcomparedtomenwhoengageinoralsex.SexualContextandAmbivalenceaboutWomensSexualPleasureAsLaumannetal.(1994)noted,oralsexisoftenviewedasorientedprimarilytowardthepleasureofthereceivingpartner(p.101).Thissuggeststhatcomfortwithcunnilingusmightbecloselylinkedtowhether„andinwhatcontexts„femalesexualpleasureisviewedasappropriate.WenotedearlierthatyoungAmericanscontinuetobeambivalentaboutcasualsexforwomen.Thismightgenerateambivalenceaboutwhetherfemalesexualpleasureincasualcontextsisappropriateand,consequently,aboutwhethercunnilingusisappropriateinthesesituations.Greaterconsensusaboutwomensenti-tlementtopleasureinrelationshipssuggeststhatcunnilin-gusmaybemoreacceptedasapracticeinrelationships.Empiricalresearchtodatesupportsthislineofreason-ing:Collegewomenarelesslikelytoreceiveoralsexinhookupsthaninrelationships.Inarecentstudy,womenreportedreceivingoralsexin26%ofhookupsascom-paredto62%ofrelationshipevents(Armstrongetal.,2009,2010).Bycomparison,menreportedreceivingoralsexin41%ofhookupsand70%ofrelationshipevents.Thus,womenreceiveoralsexonlytwo-thirdsasoftenofmeninhookupsbutalmost90%asofteninrelation-ships.Otherresearchsupportstheclaimthatrelationshipcontextin”uencessexualpractices.Chambers(2007)foundthatmostmenandwomenfeelcomfortableengag-inginoralsexinacommittedrelationship,butmenaremorecomfortablethanwomenwithoralsexinlessser-iousrelationships.However,somemendistinguishedbetweengivingoralsextosteadygirlfriendsandcasualpartners(Roberts,Kippax,Spongberg,&Crawford,1996).Inanotherstudy,youngwomenreportedthattheirpartnerswereinterestedinandenjoyedperformingcunnilingus,althoughtheyalsonotedthattheirmalepartnerspreferredfellatiotocunnilingus(Bay-Cheng&Fava,2011).Althoughthisstudyincludedbothcasualandcommittedrelationships,thedatawerenotsepar-atelyanalyzedbyrelationshipcontext.Therefore,itisunknownwhetheryoungwomenperceivedtheirpartnersaslessinterestedincunnilingusincasualrelationships.Thus,wehypothesizedthatthenegotiationofcunni-linguswouldbechallengingforyoungpeopleasaconse-quenceofculturalambivalenceaboutwomensbodiesandsexualpleasure.Wepredictedthisambivalencetobere”ectedinawiderangeofopinionsaboutandexperiencesofcunnilingusamongyoungwomen.Weexpectedparticipantstoreportdifferentchallengesnegotiatingcunnilingusinhookupsandrelationships.ParticipantsParticipantsinthisstudywere43womenattendingStanfordUniversityorIndianaUniversity.Studentswereinterviewedduringthe2006through2007schoolyear.AtStanford,studentswererecruitedviaaprob-abilitysampleofcollegeseniors.AtIndianaUniversity,studentnameswererandomlyselectedfromadirectoryofstudentsandcontactedthroughFacebook.Theresponseratewassolow(atabout14%)thattheIndianaUniversitysampleshouldbeconsideredaconveniencesample.Twenty-eightparticipantsattendedStanford,whereas15attendedIndiana.Allparticipantswerebetween21and23yearsofageatthetimeoftheinter-view.NineteenoftheparticipantswereWhite;threewereAfricanAmerican;fourwereAsian;twowereLatina;onewasNativeAmerican;eightweremultieth-nic;andinsixcases,racewasinadvertentlynotrecorded.Fiveofthe43womenwerebornoutsideoftheUnitedStates.Twenty-“veofthe43participantshadmotherswhograduatedfromcollege.Twenty-sevenidenti“edasheterosexual,nineasbisexual,andnineasnotsure.Forthepurposesofthisarticle,onlyhetero-sexualexperiencesofbisexualparticipantswereincluded.Sixreportedthattheyhadneverhadvaginalintercourse.Therewasmorevariationinraceoreth-nicityandsexualorientationamongStanfordstudents.WOMENSNEGOTIATIONOFCUNNILINGUS ComparedtotheIndianasample,ahigherpercentageofStanfordstudentsreportedthattheyhadneverhadvaginalsex.Anyfemalecollegeseniorwhovolunteeredwasinterviewed:Noscreeningwasdoneonthebasisofpriorsexualexperience.Allofthewomeninoursamplereportedhavingreceivedoralsex.InterviewMethodsInterviewerswerefemalegraduateandundergrad-uatestudents,basedonthepremisethatsimilarityofageandstudentstatuswouldfacilitaterapport.Allinterviewersweretrainedinresearchethicsandinter-viewingtechniques.ThestudywasapprovedbythehumansubjectscommitteesatbothStanfordandIndi-anaUniversities.Interviewswereconductedinaprivateplaceoncampusselectedbytherespondent.Theparti-cipantswereassuredthattheirresponsesandidentitieswouldremaincon“dentialandthattheycouldstoptheinterviewatanytime.Asanincentivetoparticipateinthestudy,studentswereawardedonlinegiftcerti“catesfortheamountof$25uponthecompletionofthein-depthinterview.Onaverage,interviewslastedaboutonehour.Digitalrecorderswereusedtodocumenttheinterviews,whichwerelatertranscribedverbatim.Pseu-donymsareusedtoprotectparticipantidentities.Usingasemi-structuredinterviewguideandacon-versationalmanner,interviewersledparticipantsthroughtheircollegesexualcareers,askingabouthook-ups,dates,orrelationshipsineachyearandinthesum-mersbetweenacademicyears.Theywereaskedabouttheirexperienceswithorgasmastheydescribedspeci“cevents,andalsoaskedabouttheirexperienceswithandviewsonorgasminmoregeneraltermstowardtheendoftheinterview.Studentswereaskedaboutexperienceswithfellatioandcunnilingus,andprobedaboutwhetheroralsexwasreciprocalintheirhookupsandrelation-ships.Theywereaskedwhethersexwasbetterinhook-upsorrelationships,andmoregenerallyabouttheadvantagesanddisadvantagesofbeinginarelationshipversusparticipatinginhookups.Thesameinterviewguidewasusedatthetwoinstitutions(seetheAppendixforashortenedversionoftheinterviewguide).DataAnalysisWeusedATLAS.ti5.0(Berlin,Germany:Scienti“cSoftwareDevelopmentGmbH)qualitativedataanalysissoftwareforthemanagementandanalysisofinterviewmaterials.The“rstandthirdauthorsidenti“edallpas-sagesintheinterviewsrelatedtodiscussionsoforalsex,includingcunnilingus,fellatio,orgasm,sexualplea-sure,andreciprocity.Wethencodedeachinterviewaccordingtotherespondentsgeneralviewofcunnilin-gusandwhethertheintervieweeconsideredittobemoreorlessintimatethanintercourse.Ourinitialanalysisofthedatarevealedthatsomeparticipantsusedeuphemismsforcunnilingusandfellatio,sowealsosearchedforthekeywordsoral,sex,goingdown,andbases.Weallowedthemesrelatedtoexperiencesofcunnilingustoemergethroughrepetitivereadinganddiscussion.Wheneverweidenti“edanewthemefromoneinterview,wethencodedalltranscriptsonthistheme.WedeployedwhatHseihandShannon(2005)describedasaconven-tionalapproachtocontentanalysis.Sometimesreferredtoasinductivecategorydevelopment,thisapproachisusefulincaseswhererelativelylittleisknownaboutaphenomenonandthegoalistoallowcategoriesandinsightstoemergefromthedata.Quotationsrepresentthefullrangeofopinionsandexperiencesofstudyparti-cipants.Themeswereconsistentacrossuniversities.Later,wereportontheprevalenceofeach“ndinginourdatawheneverpossible.ResultsInthefollowing,wedescribevariationinwomenspreferencesforcunnilingusandtherangeofattitudesexpressedabouttheintimacyofthepractice.Wethenturntohookupsandrelationships,“rstdescribingtheexperiencesofwomenwhowantedcunnilingusinthatcontextandthentheexperiencesofthosewhodidnot.Thelastsectionsdiscusstheexperiencesofwomenwhoseambivalenceaboutcunnilingusinrelationshipswastransformedbyawillingpartner.ViewsofCunnilingusWomensviewsofcunnilingusvaried:Somevieweditascentraltotheirsexualpleasure,whereasothersvieweditverynegatively.Nearlythree-fourthsofwomenviewedcunnilinguspositively,whereastherestmain-tainednegativeviews.Womenwithapositiveoutlookoncunnilingushighlightedtheeffectivenessoforalsexinprovidingorgasmandsexualpleasure.Infact,afewwomenspeci“callystatedthatcunnilinguswasthebestwayforthemtoattainorgasm.Jackiesaid,[I]ts[cun-nilingusis]usuallytheonlywayIcanorgasm.Accord-ingtoMarjorie,[A]bout60%ofthetimeIhaveanorgasm,itsfromoralsex,whereasAnniestatedthatshehadanorgasmeverytimewithoralsex.Somewomenactivelyexpressedtheirdesireforcun-nilingustotheirpartners.Forexample,Shannondidnotconsidersextobeoveruntilsheachievedanorgasmthroughoralsexorsomeothermeans.Toensurethatshehadorgasms,shecommunicatedaninterestintryingdifferentpositionsthatfacilitatedherpleasure.Sheexplained,SonowIvejustbeenencouraginghimmorelike,Youknow,whydontwedothis?Whydontwe69foralittlebit?Likewise,Fionaensuredthatshereceivedsexualpleasurebyrepositioningherpartnertomakehimgodown“rst.Beccaelaborated:Well,Idontdoit[oralsex]unlessitsreciprocated.BecauseBACKSTROM,ARMSTRONG,ANDPUENTES heresmytheory,okay?One,aguyalwayscan,[but]girlsjustcantalwaysgetoffthroughpenetration.Byintroducingnewpositions,prioritizingreciprocity,andmanagingthesexualorderofevents,thesewomenensuredthattheyreceivedcunnilingus.However,notallwomenexpressedpositiveviewsofcunnilingus.Twelveofthe43women(28%)usedadjec-tivessuchasweird,bizarre,dirty,andtodescribethepractice.Racheldescribedcunnilingusasintrusiveandkindofgross.Thewomenwerenotabletoarticu-lateverywellwhyreceivingcunnilingusisweirdorbizarre,buttheircommentssuggesteddiscomfortwiththebody,particularlythegenitals.Whenaskedtoelab-orateabouthernegativeviewoncunnilingus,Deniseexplained:Italktoalotofmyfriendsandtheyhavetheexactsamefeeling.Forthem,guysgoingdownonthem,itsjustyouknow,bizarretothemandsomethingtheyrenotcomfortablewith.Andmaybeitisabodything.Itsjust,Idontknowreallyhowtodescribeit.Severalofthewomenfeltnervousabouttheupclosenatureofhavingherpartnersfaceandmouthincontactwithhergenitals.Erinsaidthattheintimatenatureoftheactmadeherfeelveryselfconsciousthatsomebodysdown[there],upinmybusiness.Lenoraexplained,Thewholelikethingiskindof,Idontknow,weirdtomealittlebit.Idontknowwhyjusttheirfacebeingdownthere.Ashleyfoundcunnilingustobesoweirdthatshewouldratherbeonthegivingthanonthereceivingend.Concernsaboutmenstruationandpubichairalsoraisedanxietyforafewwomen.Onewomanreportedthattwoprevioussexualpartnersaskedhertoshaveherpubichair.The“rstmanrefusedtoperformcunnilin-gusunlesssheshaved,butbecausetheirrelationshipwasalreadyhavingproblems,shedidnotmeethisrequest.Thesecondpartnerwasenthusiasticaboutgoingdownonher,buthealsobroughtuptheissueofshaving:[Hewas]gungho,ignoringthehairandwhatever.Afterwhich,hedidaskmeifIdeverthoughtaboutshaving.Andhediditinaveryrespectfulway.Itwaslike,Youknow,wouldyoueverdothis?AndIsaid,Yeah,IthoughtaboutitalotbutInevergotaroundtoitbecauselike,Imeanitsgottobedif“cult,beforeIeverdidit,soIdid.Becausehehadshownmethatitdidnthavetobeshavedwhichwasaverybigpart.Otherwomennotedthattheirpartnersencouragedshavingorgettingabikiniwaxandthatthis,inturn,increasedtheirpartnersenthusiasmforsexualactivity.IntimateorCasual?Justaswomensviewsabouttheappealoftheprac-ticevaried,sodidtheirviewsonitsintimacy.Amongtheyoungwomen,therewasnoclearconsensusastowhethertheyconsideredcunnilingustobesexorwhetheritwasmoreorlessintimatethanvaginalinter-course.Forexample,althoughVeronicaacknowledgedthatoralsexwassex,shevieweditasmorecasualthanintercourse.Sheexplainedthat,Icanhaveoralsexwithsomeoneandbecompletely,youknow,unat-tached.Butwithintercourse,itsjustawholeotherballgameintermsofemotionalinvolvement.ShefurthernotedthatshedidntknowhowmanypeopleIvehadoralsexwithbutitsmorethan[Ivehadintercoursewith].Womenfrequentlyexcludedoralsexpartnersfromtheirtotalnumberofsexualpartners,countingonlyintercoursepartners.Oralsexwasoftenregardedasforeplay,andonewomandescribedoralsexassome-thingthatwouldvebeenintheprogressionofleadinguptosex(italicsadded).Morecommonly,however,womenregardedoralsex,ingeneral,andcunnilingus,inparticular,ashighlyinti-mate;and,insomecases,evenmoreintimatethansex-ualintercourse.Audreyexplainedthatcunnilingusmadeherfeelmoreexposedthansexdoes.Forthisreason,relationshipcontextmatteredformanywomeninoursample.Thirty-“vepercentofthewomendidnotviewhookupsasanappealingcontextforreceivingoralsex.Thesewomenpreferredtobeinaseriousrelationshipwhenreceivingoralsex,andseveralrefusedtoengageingivingorreceivingoralsexincasualrela-tionships.Lenorasaid,Iwouldneverdoit[fella-ifitwasaonenightstand,Iwouldneverdoit.AndIwouldntwantthemtodoitonme,either.Otherwomenreportedhavingsimilarguidelinesagainstonenightstands,suchasErinwhosaidthatshehatedcunnilingusandwouldnotconsideritunlessshewasinarelationshipfortwomonths.Addingyetmorevar-ietytotheviewsoforalsex,someviewedcunnilingusasamoresigni“cantactthanfellatio.Margosaid,Itfeelslikeaguygoingdownonyouisabiggerstepthanyougoingdownonaguywhichisprobablyunfair.Relationships,incontrast,providedtheopportunitytocreateacomfortlevelthatallowedwomentoletdowntheirguardandexperiencecunnilingusinaposi-tiveway.Denisesaidthatshepreferredreceivingoralsexinrelationshipsinsteadofhookups.Sheexplained:MaybepartofitisjustthatImnotentirelycomfortablewithwhoevertheguyisandthatsmoreofwhatitisthananything.SoIthinkyouknow,inastablerelationshipwheretheresanemotionalinvestment,Ithinkthatyouremorelikelytobecomfortablewiththemgoingdownonyou.Fifteenwomencitedtheemotionalaspectoforalsexascentraltotheircomfortandenjoymentandthis,inturn,preventedthemfromtreatingcunnilinguscasually.Describingcunnilingusasapowerfulfeelingandpowerfulconnectionthatyoucanhavewithsomeone,AnnieperceiveditasanemotionallyloadedactinwhichWOMENSNEGOTIATIONOFCUNNILINGUS thephysicalandemotionalareinterconnected.Themajorityofwomenfeltthattheyneededtoknowandtrusttheirpartnerinordertoenjoycunnilingus.Forthetwowomenwhodiscussedtheirhistoryofsexualassaultormolestation,trustwasanevenbiggerissue.Alongwithtrustandintimacy,womenbroughtupfeelingasthoughtheyhadtogiveupcontrolinordertohaveanorgasmfromcunnilingus.Beccasaid,Whenitcomestooral,oralsexformeissuchatrustissue.Ihavetotrusttheguy,otherwiseImnotgoingtoletmyselfgo.Jackiefoundthatallowingamantoper-formoralsexonherdeepenedthelevelofintimacyandtrustinherrelationship:Butagain,itwassortofthisemotionalthingthe“rsttimeheperformedoralonmeanditwasreally,reallynice.ItwastakingawhileandImacontrolfreak.Ihavetroubleorgasming,youknow...andIguessitwasreallysatisfyingformetoknowthatIhadletgoenoughcon-troltolethimdothat.ChallengesofAttainingReciprocityinHookupsPreviously,wesawthatnotallwomen“ndcunnilin-gusappealing,andsomeenjoyitinrelationships,butnothookups.Womenscommentsalsosuggestedthatnotallmenarewillingtoengageincunnilingusinhook-ups.Thismeansthatinheterosexualhookups,parti-cularly“rsthookups,neitherpartnercananticipatetheotherspreference.Uncertaintyaboutwhethercun-nilingusisexpectedinhookupsandaboutwhetheraparticularpartnerislikelytowantorexpectcunnilinguscreatesinteractionalchallenges.Womenwhodesirecun-nilingusinhookups“ndtheyhavetobeassertivetogetit„andsometimesstilldonot.Approximatelytwoofthreewomenvaluedrecip-rocityoforalsexregardlessofrelationshipcontext.Thesewomendidnotdifferentiatebetweentheinclusionoffellatioandcunnilingusduringasexualencounterandviewedtheperformanceoftheseactsasanequalexchange.Iftheygavetheirpartneroralsex,theyexpectedtoreceiveoralsexfromtheirpartnerinbothhookupsandrelationships.Approximately37%ofthewomenreportedengaginginreciprocaloralsexduringahookup.Inmostofthesecases,themalepartnersinitiatedcunnilinguswithoutmuchpromptingbythewomen.Onlyafewwereoutspokenandmotivatedenoughtodemanditfromtheirhookuppartners.Beccafeltthatitwasimportanttocommunicateherdesiresregardlessofrelationshipcontext:Inanygeneralhookup,ImveryvocalaboutwhatIwantbecauseImjustlike,itslikearoadmap.Unlesstheyknowwheretheyregoingandwhattheyneed,youknow,andhowtogetthere,thentheyrenotgonnareachtheirdestination.Thatsmytheory.SoImprettyvocalandIwill,ifImabouttogodownonaguy,Illsay,Bytheway,ifthisisntgonnagetreciprocated,thenjustleave.Forthewomenwhowantedreciprocaloralsextooccur,theyhadtobeexplicitabouttheirexpectationsbecauseanequalexchangewasnotalwaysassumed.Fionaexplainedhowshenegotiatedthehookupinterac-tiontoensurethatreciprocityisachieved:Ihateitwhenaguyisliketakeyourheadandtryandpushitdown,becauseIthenjustswitchitaroundtomakethemgodown“rstusually.AndsomeguyssaynoandthenIjustsaynoiftheysayno.Uh,butforthemostpart,Oh,dude,shestaking,shestakingtheinitiative,hot,andusuallyitworksoutbut.So,IguessthatsjustonethingImworkingonismakingsurethatIamgettingasmuchasIamgiving.Inafewcases,womenreportedthattheyperformedoralsexinahookupandexpectedreciprocity,buttheirpartnerdidnotreturnthefavor.Thisoccurredwhenwomenwerenotassertiveaboutmakingsurethatithap-pened.Forexample,Marysaidthatshedidntaskforitandhedidntjustgoforit,soshedidnotreceiveoralsexduringonehookup.Somewomenfoundthelackofreciprocityinhook-upsfrustrating.NatalierecountedaveryannoyinghookupinwhichIjustwaswithsomestupidguyatafratpartyandlikewewereinhisroomIguessandIgavehead.AndIwaskindofwaitingandhefellasleep.AndIwaslike,Fuckthis,andIjustleft.Attimes,evenrepeathookuppartnersfailedtorecipro-cate;asHadleyexplained,shecouldprobablycountthenumberoftimeshesdoneitformewhichwasunfortunateandIwasangryaboutit.Partofthewholeself-centeredissue.Callieexpressedherfrus-trationwithahookuppartnerwhoonlyreciprocatedoralsexonceortwice,andshebelievedthatthisbeha-viorwasduetohislackofpastrelationshipexperience.Shesaid:Hisrelationshipswithwomenwerepurelysexual,sohealwayswasexpectingtogetcertainthings...anditdidntsurprisemebecausewhenIhadhookedupinthepastitwasjustlikeIhadalwaysexpectedcertainthings.Andapparentlyinhissituations,healwaysreceivedoralsexanddidntnecessarilygiveitanddidntreallylikegivingit.CunnilingusAvoidanceinHookupsNotallwomenwantedtoreceivecunnilingusinhookups.Thosewhopreferrednottoreceive Weletparticipantsdecidewhenaliaisonwasahookupandwhenitwasarelationship.Hookingupmultipletimeswiththesamepersonwascommon.Participantstypicallyviewedsexualexclusivityandanacknowledgmentoftherelationship(e.g.,postingonFacebookreferringtoeachotherasboyfriendorgirlfriend)asdistinguishingarelationshipfromahookup.Somehookupsevolvedintorelationships;somerelationshipsevolvedintohookups.BACKSTROM,ARMSTRONG,ANDPUENTES cunnilingusinhookupswereoftenrelievedthatitwasnotexpected.Tenofthewomeninoursamplewereambivalentoropposedtoreceivingoralsexduringahookup,triedtoavoidit,andwererelievedwhentheysucceeded.Tarahadahookuppartnerwhodidnotreci-procatethe“rsttime,andshesaid,Iwasnotnecessar-ilyupsetaboutthat.Iwasactually“newithit.Shewentontoexplain:Well,IreallywasntsurethatIwantedoralsexfromhimanyway.Iwas“negivingoralsexbutIdidntdoitjusttogetitreturned.Idontknowwhynotthe“rsttimebutthesecondtime.Itmightjustbewhathesreadytodo.Insomeotherpeople,theyrereadytoreceiveandnotgiveandviceversa.Somepeoplearereadytogiveandnotreceive.Distasteforthepracticewasnottheonlyreasonwhywomenavoidedcunnilingusinhookups.Somewomenavoidedcunnilingusinhookupsbecausetheydidnottrustthattheyortheirpartnerswouldstopthere.Lesliesaid,IknowthatIreallydidntnecessarilywanthimtoreciprocatebecauseIwasdrunkenoughtorealizethatifmypantscameoff,thingsmightgowheretheyshouldnt...sothepantsstayon.Leslieensuredthatshewasnotvulnerabletounwantedintercoursebylimitingherpartnersaccesstoherbody.Inthissituation,herstra-tegicavoidancecreatedreliefsinceshewasbetterabletocontrolthesituation.Otherwomenavoidedcunnilingusinhookupsbecausetheyworriedthattheirmalepartnerwouldnot“ndcunnilingusenjoyable.Denisesaid,Idontunderstandlikewhatguysenjoyaboutgoingdownonagirl.Ijustdontgetit.Womenalsoreportedfeelingguiltyaboutprioritizingtheirownpleasure.Inparti-cular,somesaidthattheyworriedaboutrequiringtoomuchtimeoreffortfromtheirpartnertoproduceanorgasm.WhereasBethanyspartnersencouragedhertogivethemoralsexandcomplimentedherskills,shedidnotfeelcomfortableaskingforthesame:ItmademealittlebitnervousIdidntfeelcomfort-able,Iguess.Idontknow.IthinkIfeltkindofguiltyalmost,IfeltlikeIwaskindofsubjectingpeopletosomethingtheydidntwanttodoandIfeltbadaboutit.Thesewomenscommentssuggestthattheyarereceivingmessagesthatitisinappropriateforthemtoexpectcunnilingusinhookups,leadingthemtofeelnervousorguiltyaboutreceivingpleasureand,thus,relievedwhencunnilingusisavoided.ReciprocityinRelationshipsOurdatasuggestthatcunnilingushascometobeastandardpracticewithinrelationships.Womenwhoenjoyedcunnilingusfoundthistobepositive.Overone-thirdofparticipantsexplicitlystatedthatsexualreciprocityincommittedrelationshipswasimpor-tant„meaningthatbothpartnersshouldbewillingtoperformoralsexifthatiswhattheirpartnerwanted.Kileycapturedthisideabysayinglovemeansarelation-shipshouldbesexuallyequal:Ifeellikeifyoulovesomeone,youshouldbeabletodothat[performoralsex]forthem.Ifeellikeyoushouldbebalanced.IfeellikeifIlovesomeone,IllbewillingtodothatforthemandIthinktheydbewillingtodoitforAlthoughmostinterpretedreciprocitytomeanalit-erallyevenexchangeofsexualactsandorgasms,afewinterpreteditmoreloosely.Incaseswherethewomangavebutdidnotreceiveoralsex,somewomenrede“nedreciprocity.Theyvieweditasamatterofoverallsexualpleasure,ratherthankeepingascorecard.Forexample,Marjorieexplainedheracceptanceofnon-reciprocity:BecauseifIdidntreceiveoralsex,Iprob-ablyreceivedsomethingelse,sothatIwouldgetpleasureoutofit.Ineverdiditthinking,Man,Ibet-tergetrepaidforthis.Describingherrelationshipasalmostequalbutnotquite,Jackiesaidthatshewasnotparticularlybotheredaboutthegiveandtakebecausereciprocitywasavalueintheirrelationshipevenifwasnotalwaysachieved.Likewise,Shannondidnotexpectperfectreciprocitywithoralsexinherrelationship:Idontthinkitsnecessary,aonetoonekindofratiowhenweengageinoralsex.Forthemostpart,sinceIdogetorgasmsprettyeasily,Idontnecessarilyneedlikeoralsexoranythinglikethat.So,IthinkwemighthavegottenintothepatternwhereIdontnecessarilyneeditorwantit.Reversereciprocityinwhichthewomanreceivedoralsex,butthemandidnot,wasalsoreportedbyseveralwomeninrelationships.Inthesecases,menperformedoralsexasforeplay,andinsteadofreciprocating,thecouplewoulduseintercourseforwhatHollydescribedasthefunctionalequivalenttoachieveorgasmfortheman.Eveninrelationships,theexecutionofcunnilinguswasachallengethatrequiredcommunicationandprac-tice.Relationshipsprovidedacontextformentobecomemoreskilledatcunnilingus.Womenreportedthatoralsexwasoftennotgoodwith“rst-timeorinex-periencedpartners.Asonewomannoted,cunnilingusissomethingespeciallythattheyhavetolearnovertime,afterbeingwithsomeoneforawhile.Becausetheyrenotgoingtoreally“gureitoutontheirown.Sixwomenspeci“callymentionedthattheirpartnersimprovedovertime.However,communicatingwithpartnersaboutcunnilingustechniquewastricky.Forexample,LenoranotedthatshedidnotreceiveoralsexveryoftenbecauseWOMENSNEGOTIATIONOFCUNNILINGUS shedidnotknowhowtotalktoherboyfriendaboutcunnilinguswithoutoffendingorupsettinghim:Yeah.Iguessjustbecausehessosensitiveaboutit.IfIsayanythingaboutit,hesalwayslike,WellIknowImnotgoodatit.Youknow,itsjustreallyweirdbecausehesnotlikethat.Soitskindofweirdformewhenhesinsecureaboutsomethingbecausehesnotatallinsecureaboutanything.Sohedoesntactuallydoitverymuchforme,becauseIthinkhesreallyselfconsciousaboutit.Thewomenweinterviewedsuggestedthatsomeoftheirmalepartnersinterpretedtipstoimproveatcunni-lingusasathreattotheirmasculinity.Inthefollowingsection,wefurtherdiscussthelinkbetweenmasculinityandsexualcompetency.CunnilingusRefusalinRelationshipsStudyparticipantsseemedtotakeforgrantedthatcunnilinguswouldtakeplaceincommittedrelation-ships.Whereassomewomenwhowantedtoreceiveoralsexinhookupshadtovocalizetheirdesirefororalsexbecauseitwasnotagiven,womeninrelationshipshadtobecleariftheydidnotwantoralsex.Mensexpecta-tionsthattheyshouldlikeandwantitinrelationshipsraisedotherissues„andopportunities.Fivewomeninoursampledirectlytoldtheirrelation-shippartnersnottoperformcunnilingus.Ashleyfoundthatcunnilingusdidnotachieveanythingforherandsaid,IfeelIcouldchoosenothingandImjustlike,Okay,well,canwestopnow?ButIfeelliketheyfeelobligated.Erinfeltsoself-consciousabouttheactthatshetoldherpartner,Okay,likeyoudonthaveto.Its“ne,whenheattemptedtogodownonher.Afterdatingforseveralweeks,Claretoldherpartnerthatshewantedtoperformfellatiobutnotreceivecunnilingusbysaying,IwanttodothisbutIdontwanttogetitback.Avaremarked,Imean,Ienjoygivingoralsex.So,IfeellikeImnotnecessarilycontributingtoreciprocitybecauseIwouldcertainlynotwanttogiveupgivingoralsexjustbecauseImnotverygoodatreceivingit.Cherieregardedintercourseasmorereciprocalthanoralsexandsaid,Intercoursefeelslikeamutualactivityandoralsexfeelslikesomethinglikeanobligation.Anniehatedcunnilingusandusedavoidancetacticsratherthandirectlycommunicatingwithherpartner.Instead,shedescribedenduringitforherpartnerssakebecauseofherpartnersgenuineenthusiasmforcunnilingus:ButsometimesIcangetmyselfoutofitandImnotgoingtolie,Imhappyaboutthat.Andheactuallyreallyenjoys„well,hetellsme„hereallyenjoysgivingit.Ireallybelieveitthough,becauseheslike,Oh,youknow,Iwanttomakeyouhappy.IwanttopleaseyouandIwanttogivethisgifttoyou.Shewentontosaythatshewasabletowigglefreefromcunnilingusaboutoneoutofevery“veorsixtimes.TransformingReluctanceInsomecases,mensenthusiasmforgivingoralsexchangedwomensopinionsaboutthepractice.Sevenwomenreportedthatitwastheirpartnerwhotrans-formedtheirinitialreluctanceoraversiontooralsexintoacceptanceandenjoyment.Thesemenseemedauth-enticallyconcernedwiththeirpartnerssexualpleasure.Forexample,Amysaid,Hewasveryintomefeelinggood.Youknow,veryintoit.AndIdidntcumduringsexbutIdidcumfromoralsex,butitwassortoflikeinbetweenthesex.SohemadesureIcamebeforehecame.Mensenthusiasmaboutcunnilinguswasparticularlyeffectiveinmakingwomenwhoinitiallyfeltself-consciousabouttheirbodiesandgenitalsfeelcomfort-able.Andreaexplained,Ididntliketolookatmyselfortouchmyselforanythingdownthere.Sheexpressedfeelingnervousandawkwardwhenherpartnerinitiatedcunnilingus.Shedescribedher“rstexperienceasshittyanddislikingitsomuchthatshewantedtotellherpart-nertogoaway.But,sheexplainedthathereassuredherthathelikeditandcomplimentedhergenitals:Hedgo,Ilikethis.Itspretty.Iwaslike,Yeah,right.Liar.Hewouldalwaysbelike,Yeah,Iwanttodoit.Imlike,Yourescared.Iknowyourescared.Ifeelyourescared.Stopshaking.Aftermoreexperience,herfeelingstransformedintoenjoyment,andshenowregardscunnilinguspositively.Sheexplained,AndIdontknowwhathappened.Idontknowbutmaybeayearago,hestartedgoingdownonmeandthenIwaslike,Hmm,prettygood.Likewise,Annietoldasimilarstoryinwhichshewassexuallynašandherpartnerpersuadedhertoenjoycunnilingus:WellIwasnotexpectingitatall.IhadnoideawhatoralsexwasandIwaslike,What?Youwanttodowhat,where?Areyoukiddingme?Thatsnasty.Gross.Goaway.Ew.Ittooksomeconvincing.Heslike,No,Ipromise.Itsokay.AndIwaslike,Uh-huh.Um,Imnotsureaboutthatone.Rachelexplainedthatittookheralongtimetobecomfortablewithreceivingoralsex,butaftergivingitachance,shenowthinksitispleasantandfeelscon-“dentenoughtobeabletoaskforcunnilingusinfuturesexualencounters.Evenwomenwhoresistedreceivingoralsexat“rstfoundtheirviewschangingaftertheygaveitachanceandtheirpartnersimprovedtheirtech-nique.Thisindicatesthatlearningtolikecunnilingusisoftenacollaborativeandnegotiatedprocess.MasculinityandGivingSexualPleasureinRelationshipsSel”essinterestintheirpartnerspleasurewasnotmensonlymotivationforengagingincunnilingus.BACKSTROM,ARMSTRONG,ANDPUENTES Pascoe(2007)notedthatonewaymendemonstratecompetentheterosexualmasculinityisthroughtheirabilitytomasterwomensbodies.Womenreportedthattheirpartnersmadethisconnection.Hilaryexplained,Ineverorgasmedduringoralsex.Andforthatparti-cularreason,Idont“nditparticularlyinterestingbutmenseemtothinkitsuseful.Marysaidthatherpart-nerfocusedonherduringforeplaybecauseDanielhadamachothinggoingon,thathewantedtobeabletogivemeanorgasm.Whenaskedifherpartnercaredifshehadanorgasm,Denisereplied,YeahIthinkmostguysdocarethough.Frommy,atleastmyexperi-encetalkingtothem,itdoesseemtobeimportanttothem.Itsamatteroftheirownpersonalcon“denceandsuccesslevel,Iguess.Sheattributedthistosexbeingaresultdrivenpursuitformostmen.These“ndingsechotheunintendedconsequencesofthehet-erosexualdiscourseoutlinedbyBraun,Gavey,andMcPhilips(2003)inthattheemphasisonreciprocityobligateswomentohaveanorgasm,leadingwomentosometimesfakeorgasm.Sincecunnilingusisfocusedonthewoman,thepressuretoorgasmisheightenedbecausetheorgasmservesasanaf“rmationofmascu-linesexualcompetency;and,assuggestedearlier,womensconcernsformensegossometimesmadeitdif-“cultforwomentocommunicatehowtheylikedcunni-lingustobeperformed.DiscussionWefoundthatthenegotiationofcunnilinguswaschallengingforthecollegewomenweinterviewed.Whereassomewomenregardedcunnilingusasintegraltotheirsexualpleasure,othersexpresseddiscomfort.Somewomenviewedcunnilingusaslessintimatethansexualintercourseandtreateditasforeplay.However,mostwomenthoughtthatcunnilinguswasintimateandemotional,makingitmoreappropriateinthecon-textofacommittedrelationship.Relationshipcontextproduceddifferentexpectationsandobstaclesforthenegotiationofcunnilingus.Inhookups,somewomenreportedfrustrationwhentheydidnotreceiveoralsex.Afewwomendirectlyaskedtheirhookuppartnerforreciprocity.Yet,somewomenexpressedreliefthatcunnilingusdidnotoccurinhookupsbecausetheywishedtoavoiditentirelyorreserveitforrelationships.Womenreportedthatcunnilingusandreciprocityoccurredmorefrequentlyinrelationshipsthaninhook-ups.Mostweresatis“edwiththisarrangement,althoughafewwomendislikedcunnilingusandfacedthechal-lengeofavoidanceorrefusal.Ahandfulofwomendis-coveredthattheirreluctancetoreceiveoralsexwastransformedbyanencouragingpartner.The“ndingthatwomenconfrontedinteractionalchallengesinthenegotiationofcunnilingussuggeststhatsiteswheresexualscriptsarechangingrapidlyorarecharacterizedbyambiguityintensifytheinterac-tionalchallengesofsex,requiringgreaterinteractionalskill,creatingmorestress,andincreasingthefrequencyoffailedsexualinteraction.ThisisconsistentwithSimonandGagnon(1986),whosuggestedthatgreaterdemandsareplacedontheactorwherecomplexities,con”icts,andorambiguitiesbecomeendemicatthelevelofculturalscenarios(p.99).Toourknowledge,theimplicationsofSimonandGagnonsoriginalobser-vationhavenotbeenfullyexploredinthevastliteratureonsexualscripting,likelyinpartduetothedif“cultyofidentifyingwhensexualscriptsareinrapid”ux,whethertheyareambiguousornot,whetheraparticulartypeofsexualinteractionrequiresanunusuallyhighlevelofinteractionalwork,orthedegreeofsuccessofasex-ualinteraction.Althoughitisdif“culttoinvestigatetheseissuesinasystematicempiricalfashion,itisnotimpossible.Forexample,askingintervieweestonarrateaninstanceofbadsex,probingdeeplyintohow,why,andwhenthesexualinteractionbrokedown,couldpro-videinsightsintothelevelofinteractionalskillsuf“cienttonavigateparticularsexualsituations.Our“ndingsalsosuggeststhatgapsbetweenlevelsofscripting„whatindividualswantandwhattheyarecul-turallyexpectedtowant„maybeparticularlyacutewhensexualscriptsareambiguousandin”uxor,asinthiscase,theyvaryfromcontexttocontext.Inthiscase,themismatchbetweenpreferenceandexpectationoccurredinbothcontexts„withwomenwhowantedcunnilingusdisappointedwhenpartnersdidnotprovideitinhookups,andthosewhodidnotwantitnegotiatingtoevadeitinrelationships.Ourdatahintthat,formanywomen,distasteisfueledbyself-consciousnessorcon-cernaboutwhetherpartnersaresimplyenduringit.Whenlegitimatedbyeitherthepubliclyavailablesexualscriptoraparticularpartnersenthusiasm„or,ideally,both„mostwomenseemtoacquireanappreciationofcunnilingus.Itisimportanttonotethatalmostthree-fourthsoftheparticipantsinourstudyregardedcunnilinguspositively.Previousstudieshavefoundthatmostwomenenjoycunnilingusandbelievethatmenenjoyit(Bay-Cheng&Fava,2011).Furtherresearchmightdelvemoredeeplyintowomenspreferencesforspeci“cpractices,asitwouldbeinterestingtogainabet-terunderstandingoftheintrapsychicscriptingthatleadssomewomennevertoenjoycunnilingus.Ourclaimsmustbeviewedassomewhatpreliminarygiventhatoursmallconveniencesampledoesnotallowustogeneralizetoabroaderpopulation.Ourpointissimplythateveninasmall,relativelyhomogenoussam-ple,we“ndsubstantialdiversityofopinionandexperi-encerelatedtocunnilingus.Wesuspectthatamorediversesamplewouldyieldanevengreatervariety,whichwouldfurthersupportourclaimthatcunnilingusisasymbolicallyloadedandcontestedsexualpractice.Despitethelimitsofoursample,qualitativestudiespro-videnuancedinsightintothenatureofandresponsetoWOMENSNEGOTIATIONOFCUNNILINGUS interactionalchallenges,andcanbeusedtodevelophypothesesforresearchthatbuildsontheseinsights.Futureresearchshouldinvestigatewhetherour“nd-ingscanbesubstantiatedinotherpopulations.Forexample,itispossible„indeedlikely„thatcunnilingusislesssymbolicallyloadedforolderwomenandthattheeaseofnegotiatingthispractice„andallothers„increasesacrossallsexualcontextswithsexualexperi-ence.Itisalsolikelythatthemeaningsandexperiencesofcunnilingusmaybedifferentforyoungwomennotattendingcollege.Mostproblematic,however,giventhatthenegotiationofheterosexualcunnilingusinvolvesmen,isthefactthatourinformationonmensattitudesisbasedonlyonwhatwomenreportabouttheirpart-ners.Asmenhaveasmuch„andlikelymore„in”uenceonhowsexualinteractioninheterosexualhookupsandrelationshipsunfolds,theirviewsonwhatpracticesareappropriateinthesecontextsandtheirpreferencesforparticipationarequitesalient.Interviewingmenabouttheirviewsofcunnilinguswouldhelpascertainwhetherthegreaterfrequencyofcunnilingusinrelationshipsrelativetohookupsisdrivenbygreaterprioritizingofwomenspleasureinrelationshipsorwomensgreatercomfortinrelationships,orboth.Conductingasystematiccomparisonofthemean-ingsmenandwomenassociatewithfellatioandcunni-lingusisalsoalogicalnextstepforresearch.Applyingourextensionofscriptingtheorytothecaseoffellatiooffersthefollowingpredictions:Wesuspectthatfella-tio,likecunnilingus,isdif“culttonegotiateduetopublicgenderedmeanings.However,asthegenderedmeaningsassociatedwithmensbodiesandsexualplea-surearedistinctfromthoseassociatedwithwomensbodiesandpleasures,wewouldpredictadifferentsetofchallenges.Inheterosexualpornography,fellatioisoftenusedtosymbolizemaledominanceandfemaledegradation.Weexpectthatmuchofthetensionaroundfellatioinheterosexualhookupsandrelation-shipswillcenterontheinteractionalchallengeofnavi-gatingtheeverpresentpossibilityofthismeaningoffellatiobeinginvokedbyeitherparticipant;thatis,inhookups,womenmayinpartbehesitanttoengageinfellatioatall„oratleastwithoutreceivingcunnilin-gus“rst„becauseofthefearoffeelingdegraded.Theavailabilityofthissexualscriptmaymakemenhesitanttoaskforfellatioinhookups,orinsistentaboutreci-procatingwithcunnilingustodemonstratecommitmenttogenderequality.Conversely,menwhoareeroticallychargedbythefellatio-as-degradationscriptmaybehighlymotivatedtoseekhookupsasasitefortheenactmentofthisscript,irrespectiveoftheirpartnersinterestinplayingtheroleofdegradedfemale.Fromwhatwehavelearnedfromthewomenweinterviewedabouttherelativelygreatergenderequalityofsexinrelationships,wesuspectthatrelationshipsmakethefellatio-as-degradationscriptlessculturallyaccessible.Theselastparagraphssuggestthevarietyofpossiblenextstepsforthisresearch.Ourinvestigationofcollegewomensexperienceswithcunnilingusoffersastartingpoint.Moreresearchisneededonsexualnegotiationininteractionandthewaysinwhichrelationshipcon-text,gender,sexualidentity,race,class,nationality,andothersocialidentitiesin”uencehowsexualinteractionunfolds.ReferencesArmstrong,E.A.,England,P.,&Fogarty,A.C.K.(2009).Orgasmincollegehookupsandrelationships.InB.Risman(Ed.),Familiesastheyreallyare(pp.362…377).NewYork:Norton.Armstrong,E.A.,England,P.,&Fogarty,A.C.K.(2010).practices,learning,andcommitment:AccountingforwomensorgasmandsexualenjoymentincollegehookupsandrelationshipsUnpublishedmanuscript.Armstrong,E.A.,Hamilton,L.,&England,P.(2010).Ishookingupbadforyoungwomen?(3),22…27.Bay-Cheng,L.Y.,&Fava,N.M.(2010).Youngwomensexperiencesandperceptionsofcunnilingusduringadolescence.Advanceonlinepublication.JournalofSexResearch(6),531…542.Bogle,K.A.(2008).Hookingup:Sex,dating,andrelationshipsoncam-.NewYork:NewYorkUniversityPress.Bordo,S.(1993).Unbearableweight:Feminism,Westernculture,andthebody.Berkeley:UniversityofCaliforniaPress.Braun,V.(2005).Insearchof(better)sexualpleasure:Femalegenitalcosmeticsurgery.Sexualities,407…424.Braun,V.,Gavey,N.,&McPhillips,K.(2003).Thefairdeal?Unpackingaccountsofreciprocityinheterosex.Sexualities237…261.Braun,V.,&Kitzinger,C.(2001).Theperfectiblevagina:Sizematters.Culture,HealthandSexuality,263…277.Braun,V.,&Wilkinson,S.(2001).Socio-culturalrepresentationsofthevagina.JournalofReproductiveandInfantPsychologyCarpenter,L.(2001).Theambiguityofhavingsex:ThesubjectiveexperienceofvirginitylossintheUnitedStates.JournalofSex,127…139.Chambers,W.C.(2007).Oralsex:Variedbehaviorsandperceptionsinacollegepopulation.JournalofSexResearch,28…42.England,P.,Shafer,E.,&Fogarty,A.(2007).Hookingupandform-ingromanticrelationshipsontodayscollegecampuses.InM.Kimmel&A.Aronson(Eds.),Thegenderedsocietyreader(pp.531…546).NewYork:OxfordUniversityPress.Finer,L.B.(2007).TrendsinpremaritalsexintheUnitedStates,1954…2003.PublicHealthReports,73…78.Gagnon,J.H.,&Simon,W.(1987).ThescriptingoforalgenitalsexualArchivesofSexualBehavior,1…25.Herbenick,D.,Reece,M.,Schick,V.,Sanders,S.A.,Dodge,B.,&Fortenberry,J.D.(2010).SexualbehaviorintheUnitedStates:Resultsfromanationalprobabilitysampleofmenandwomenages14…94.JournalofSexualMedicine(Suppl.5),255…265.Hseih,H.,&Shannon,S.(2005).Threeapproachestocontentanal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Canyoudescribeafantasticsexualencounterthatinvolvedanorgasm?ProbeforSetting,wasithookup,regularhookup,orrelationship?Whatwasfantasticaboutit?Canyouthinkofsomefantasticsexualencounteryouvehadthatdidnotinvolveanorgasm?Tellmeallaboutit.ProbeforSetting,wasithookup,regularhookup,orrelationship?Whatwasfantasticaboutit?Didyouwishyoucouldhaveanorgasm?Whatdoyouthinkkeptyoufromhavingone?Haveyouhadtheexperiencewhereyougavesome-oneoralsexbuttheydidntreciprocate?Tellmeaboutsometimethatthathappened.ProbeforWasithookuporrelationship?DidRwanttoreceiveoralsex?DidRsayanything?HowdidRfeel?Howimportantisittoyoutohaveanorgasminsex?Doyou“nditiseasiertohaveorgasmsinrelation-ships,inhookupswithanewpartner,orinareg-ularhookupwithsomeone?Haveyoustoppedhookingupwithsomeonebecauseyouwerenthavingorgasmswiththem?HaveyoucontinuedhookingupwithsomeoneyoudidntlikeverymuchbecausethesexwasWouldyouendarelationshipifyouarenotregularlyhavingorgasms?Ifyouhadafriendofyoursamesexandsexualorien-tationjuststartingStanford,wouldyouadvisethemtohookupalotwithdifferentpeople,ortrytogetinarelationship,orhaveafriendswithbene“tsorwhat?WhywouldyousuggestThatsallthequestionsIhave,unlesstheresanythingyouthinkwevemissedthatyoudliketoadd.Thankssomuchforyourtime.BACKSTROM,ARMSTRONG,ANDPUENTES