What happened to you NOT who you are makes you angry nervous afraid greedy mean etc We learned behaviors when we were very young in order to survive We were taught to hate those behaviors and to see them as signs of our badness ID: 482331
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Slide1
Our survival system is killing us
What happened to you
, NOT who you are, makes you angry, nervous, afraid, greedy, mean, etc.
We learned behaviors when we were very young in order to survive.
We were taught to hate those behaviors and to see them as signs of our badness.
Yet we must keep doing them because they still mean survival to us.
And we hate ourselves for doing them.Slide2
THE TRAP: I believe I must be this way to survive. I hate myself for being this way.
RESULT: self-hate = survival
survival = self-hate
Suffering provides our identity. Identity is maintained in struggle and dissatisfaction, in trying to fix what’s wrong.
self-hate
suffering
egocentricity
fear
illusion of being unacceptedSlide3
So we are constantly looking for what is wrong, constantly creating new crises so we can rise to the occasion. To ego, that’s survival.
It is very important
That something be wrong
So ego can continue to survive it.Slide4
Self-Hate is a Process
Self-hate is a “how” not a “what.”
Examples:
If I’m a worrier, worrying is the “how,” the process. The things I worry about are the “
whats
,” the content.
If I’m judgmental, judging is the “how,” the process. The things I judge are the
“
whats
,” the
content.
If I’m caught in self-hate, self hating is the
“how,” the process.
The aspects of “me” that are being hated—body, personality, looks (the list is endless) – are the
“
whats
,” the content.Slide5
In other words, I am not hating myself; self-hate is hating me. Self-hate is an autonomous process with a life of it’s own, an endless tape loop of conditioning, creating and shaping the world in which we live.
The simplest example is that if self-hate is hating my body,
t
oo wide too short too fat too small
t
oo thin too flat too weak too ugly
i
t doesn’t matter what I do or what I look like, I will never meet self-hate’s standard….
which is the point.Slide6
Self-hate is not hating me in order to help me.
No. It is a process of hating and hating is just what it does.
As long as it exists,
It will find something to hate.
That’s how it maintains itself.
The process of self-hate is so much a part of the average person that we don’t even recognize it.
We think we’re just doing the things that will ensure we’ll be good.
It’s normal, we say. Everybody does it. Or
should be.Slide7
“I
have come to the frightening conclusion that I am the decisive element.
It is my personal approach that creates the climate.
It is my daily mood that makes the weather.
I possess tremendous power to make a life miserable or joyous.
I can be a tool of torture or an instrument of inspiration.
I can humiliate or humor, hurt or heal.
In all situations, it is my response that decides whether a crisis will be escalated or de-escalated and a person humanized or dehumanized.
If we treat people as they are, we make them worse.
If we treat people
as they ought to be
, we help them become what they are capable of becoming
.”
GoetheSlide8
Power
today
comes through our ability
to
synthesize
multiple sources of
knowledge
into meaningful,
transformative action, then to do it againtomorrow and to measure the impact.
Bringing it homeSlide9
When we are true to ourselves
Faith in self
New beliefs
Loss of or, at least, less fearSlide10
Faith
i
s a direct result of your self of worth.Slide11
Somehow I can’t believe there are many heights that can’t be scaled by
any person
who knows the secret of making dreams come true. This special secret can be summarized in four C’s.
They
are: curiosity, confidence, courage, and constancy, and the greatest of these is
confidence
.Slide12
I am loved
therefore I can love others