Proactive Parenting
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Proactive Parenting

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Proactive Parenting




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Presentation on theme: "Proactive Parenting"— Presentation transcript:

Slide1

Proactive Parenting

Combining Love, Logic and Consistency

Slide2

Parenting Styles

What they mean and

how it affects the relationship you have with your child

Slide3

Drill Sergeant

Gives orders “Because I said so”

Focus on what the child is NOT doing

Punishments focused

Relationship between parent and child is a struggle.

Child feels powerless and misunderstood

Slide4

Helicopter

Focus on their child not their own needs

“Hover”

Parents constantly rescue their kids from failure.

The message is “yo

u are not capable”

The child is in control and can become manipulative and self-centered

Slide5

Consultant

Expectations are clear and concise

The child is given choices

Democratic balance of power

The message is “you are capable”

Good communication

The relationship between parents and child is balanced and respectful.

Slide6

Crime and Punishment

How you discipline your child can make or break your relationship

Slide7

Punishment vs. Consequence

Punishment

Definition “pain inflicted on a person guilty of some offense.” The punishment does not necessarily have to bear any relationship to the offense. Ex: A child forgets to do his chores and loses TV, video games, phone, ipod, gets grounded etc…

Consequence

Definition

that

which follows some action

.”

In

other words, it is referring to cause and effect.

Sometimes referred to as “natural consequence.

Ex:

I

f

you lie often, people won’t trust you.

If you go outside without a coat, you will get cold.

Slide8

The Cycle of DisciplinePunishment

Slide9

The Cycle of DisciplineConsequences

Slide10

“Traditional” Discipline

Slide11

This is the Real World!

The logistics of raising responsible children

Slide12

What is the purpose of consequences?

To teach children and help them learn and grow

To prepare them for life on their own

To teach them about healthy, long term relationships.

To teach long term cause and effect thinking about their behavior.

A Consequence is NOT about power- Kids don’t learn from a power struggle

Slide13

Logical Consequences

Repair the relationshipApology of actionRestitution

Slide14

Using Real World Logic

Is this consequence going to have the same implications for the child as it would if an adult behaved this way?

Examples:

Child yelling at parents

Child not doing work

Slide15

Your relationship with your child gives the consequence power

Relationship = Foundation

for discipline

Take an interest- remember why you love them

Forgive yourself and forgive you child

It is not being permissive to back off and restore the relationship.

Do we as adults respond better to people who take an interest in us?

How do you feel when you anger someone who doesn’t like you?

Slide16

Positive Ways to Help Kids Learn and Grow

Listen

to you child

Use reparative consequences

Let your children make mistakes as long as it is safe.

Always act out of love rather than anger

Pick your battles

Limit your words-no lectures

Slide17

Love & Logic

Love

will provided a safe and secure environment for the child to grow and thrive.

Logic

can help them to understand that their actions have an impact on other people.

They can learn the consequences of their behavior and that they have a responsibility to repair any hurt they have done.

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