Guidance 30 - PowerPoint Presentation

Slide1

Guidance 30Personal Growth & Development

Brian Jensen, Ph.D

.,

MFT, LPCC

Contact Info:

Jensenbr@Yosemite.edu

209.588.5036Slide2

Class Introductions / Ice Breakers

Take Index Card:

Record Three Items that You’re

C

omfortable Sharing:

Meet Everyone in the Course:Slide3

Personal Introductions

First Name

How Long you’ve Been at Columbia College

What’s your major or Goal, if undecided that’s ok

What do you hope to learn about in this course?

What do you like to do for fun?Slide4

Course Requirements

Make Sure to Purchase Text: Via Amazon.com by Third Week

Sometimes there will be Reflection Papers

Education Plan, later on in the SemesterSlide5

Course Requirements Continues

Confidentiality

Weekly Check-ins, prior to Lectures

Speak can opt for Feedback or

not

Demonstrate Listening, Empathy, No Comparisons or AdviceSlide6

Symbol Exercise

Write Down Five Symbols

Pick One through Five, One Being your Favorite

Snap Shot of Inner WisdomSlide7

Symbol Representation

Circle: Wholeness /Individuation

Square: Stability, Responsibility and/or Accountability

Triangle: Dreams, Goals, Aspirations

Equal Distant Cross:

Spiral: Growth: Slide8

Symbols Order of Operation

First Position: Something in Waking Thoughts

Second Position: Current Strength

Third Position: Something Manifesting at Core

Fourth Position: Recently met, allows number Three to Manifest

Fifth Position: Something for laterSlide9

Discussion

Small Groups

Describe Thoughts & Feelings

How might this apply to your lifeSlide10

Guide 30Meeting Two January, 19, 2016

Check In/Discussion

Cognition or Cognitive Therapeutic Approaches

Self Awareness & ConsciousnessSlide11

Cognitive, Cognition, Thought or Thinking Process

Thinking is a Left Brain Orientated

Logical

Rational

Self Talk

Conscious

Planning & Can be Detail OrientatedSlide12

Beliefs

confidence in the truth or

existence a Person Or Situation without proof

Influences a Person That Situation or Event is Absolutely Real

Example: I’m a Super Hard InstructorSlide13

Common Cognitive Assumptions/Distortions

All or Nothing Thinking

: See events or situations in Black or White, Right or Wrong, but no

In-between

Example: If I don’t get an A, I’m a

failure

Jumping to Conclusions

: Making a negative conclusion, although there is no proof or evidence

Example: That person didn’t talk to me, therefore he/she doesn’t like meSlide14

Cognitive Assumptions/Distortions Continued

Overgeneralization: Viewing a single event as always

negative

Example: I was rejected by a specific gender, therefore all men or women are mean or

ruthless

Example: A cop wouldn’t listen to my situation and gave me a ticket, therefore all Law Enforcement are cold blooded robots.Slide15

Cognitive Assumptions/Distortions Continued

Fortune Telling

: You predict that a Future event will turn out badly. Therefore you feel defeated before even giving it a try (procrastination).

Example: I have to do my homework, but I know that it won’t be good enough, so why should I even try

Personalization:

You automatically conclude that you’re the cause of an external, negative event (Guilt)

Example: If I just said hi to them that day, they wouldn’t had died.Slide16

Cognitive Assumptions/Distortions ContinuedShould Statement: Overly Criticize with Should Statements

Should Statements Produce Guilt, a Self Punishing Emotions

Want to Replace with: I wish StatementsSlide17

Guide 30Meeting Four, January 26, 2016

Check in/Discussion

Extended Opportunity Program & Services (EOPS)

Disabled Student Programs & Services (DSPS)

Emotions IntelligenceSlide18

EOPS

Book Voucher $300.00 for Required Textbook

Parking Pass or Bus Passes

Regular Scheduled Counseling Meetings (Three Required)

Priority RegistrationSlide19

EOPS Criteria

Eligible for Board of Governors Fee Waiver (BOGFW)

Eligible for Foundational English

or MATH Level

Must take Assessment

Tests

First Semester: Enrolled in 12.0 Units or DSPSSlide20

DSPS

Testing Outside of Class, Receive More Testing Time

Accommodations: Echo Pen, Dragon Speak, Note Takers

Alternative Media: Text Books in Listening Format

Mobility Services

Priority Registration

Participate in EOPS with 6.0 UnitsSlide21

DSPS CriteriaDocumented Disability on File from Professional: M.D., D. O., Ph.D., MFT, LCSW, LPCC, D.C., N.P. ETC..

Mobility, Injury, Medical, Psychological, Learning, Hearing, Vision

Complete DSPS Intake with DSPS Counselor or Coordinator

After Approval Process, Referral to Accommodations & Alt MediaSlide22

Emotional IntelligenceEmotions: Impulse to Act or take Action

Response or Instant Plan for Handling Life

Energy In Motion

Body ResponsesSlide23

Emotional Intelligence

What Is Emotional Intelligence?

T

he

ability to identify and manage your own emotions and the emotions of others.

1. Emotional awareness, including the ability to identify your own emotions and

recognize Emotions others

2. H

arness

emotions and apply them to tasks like thinking and problems solving;

3. The ability to manage emotions, including the ability to regulate your own emotions, and the ability

to support or

calm down another person.Slide24

Emotional Self Regulation

Projection: Displacing Unowned Part of Self on Another

Brining Past Conflict into Present, Opportunity to Heal Old Wound

Question: What Does this Remind Me Of

Unconscious of Outside of Awareness Affect is TimelessSlide25

Emotional Self Regulation Continued

Feel the Emotion

Brief Time Out

Place in Words

Understand What You Want or Need

Educate the Person

Also Physical Expression

Goal to Move Back to Positive StateSlide26

Assignment

Reflect on anything that we’ve cover so far

How Have you implemented it to help with Adjustment

One Page, Typed

Double Space, Due next ClassSlide27

Guidance 30 Class Four, February 2nd, 2016

Check in / Discussion

Understanding Whose In Control

Self-Exploration ExerciseSlide28

Whose In Control

Internal & External

Internally Controlled/Influenced or Self Controlled/Influenced

Set their own Standards & Rewards

Example: I want to go to school and passing class is rewardingSlide29

Internally Controlled or Influenced

Perceive that their efforts make a Difference

Example: I smiled, they smiled back, helps add to their day Slide30

Externally Controlled

Someone sets the standards and provides or holds back rewards

Example: Even when I help them, they don’t show appreciationSlide31

Externally Controlled Continued

Perceive their own efforts will make no difference

Example: My vote doesn’t make a difference

Example: That person smiled but they still have to face a hard lifeSlide32

External Control Continued

Externals hold less possibilities of change with their lives, and therefore invest less in changing their lives.

Believing that your life is beyond one’s control:

Odds of developing the life you want diminishesSlide33

Internal Control/ Influence

Internals tend to be better life managers, by being curious in methods to improve their lives, imagining more possibilities of doing something different with their livesSlide34

Changing Locus Of Control

Changes Begin with Self-Exploration

Becoming Conscious of Automatic Thought, Feelings, Responses & BehaviorsSlide35

Exercise

Ask self who the are

people that contribute

to my locus of control?

Family members, Friends, co-workers, partners, teachers, school mates, relatives

Do I give up any of my Self-Esteem/Self Power to them?

If so, how come?Slide36

Exercise Continued

What might I be concerned with, worried about, or fearful of, hurting someone, not being loved, or someone how possibly losing myself?

If I were to change, how would things be different?

What kind of plan can I make to move in the direction of my choosing?

Notice any feeling of possibility or discomfort ariseSlide37

Exercise Continued

Pair Up, and Share your Exercise Experiences

Only share what’s Comfortable

Listeners, Be Understanding and Supportive

Only Provide Advice if Asked forSlide38

Guidance 30Class Five, 16

th

, 2016

Discussion

/

Check in

Character Styles & ExercisesSlide39

Character Styles

Character Style is an unconscious (outside of awareness) method

of

operating in the World.

Instead of traditional Clinical Psychology that places people in Diagnostic Categories: Anxiety Disorders, Depressive Classifications, etc.

Character is a person’s Automatic Pilot to meet the world.Slide40

Character Strategy

Character

: We develop it, forget how we did it, and the world becomes

it or we become it in the world

A set of patterns organized by beliefs, not who one

is

Character

is a strategy

is to

protect

Thus, we Embody our PsychologySlide41

Character Reminder

Character: We develop it, forget how we did it, and the world becomes it or we become it in the world

A set of patterns organized by beliefs, not who one is

Character is a strategy is to protect

Thus, we Embody our PsychologySlide42

Character Strategy

Understanding Character:

H

elps

people develop

other options

to return back to their

essence, which character becomes secondary

Provide more choices to life’s stressors

Helps unlock the Character style someone is locked intoSlide43

Safety Seeking Strategy

Two Different Safety Seeking Strategies:

Strategy One:

Sensitive Analytic, Containing, or Deactivated Strategy

Strategy Two:

Sensitive EmotionalSlide44

Safety Seeking Strategy One:

Sensitive Analytic, Containing or Deactivating

Strategy

Exercise

One

Imagine being a few months old, the world feels like too much, Overwhelming, Dangerous, and there is no one there to protect you.

Notice what your body wants to do—allow to follow it.

Containing or De-Activating Strategy:

The Body is organized around Containment, protection from an overwhelming world.Slide45

Sensitive AnalyticSlide46

Sensitive Analytic, Containing or Deactivating Strategy Continued

Organized around not connecting, hard to connect with, good at withdrawing, try to turn off body and go into mind.

Body: Lack of symmetry, elongation, not much muscle power, energy in stomach, disconnected from joints, very loose looking limbs

Eyes: Not much eye contact,

Eyes can show fight or flight or demonic look—recoil from the world

or

innocent/angelic eyes, lifeless, no one home, some kind of

running

away

, almost a bit reptilian. Slide47

Sensitive Analytic, Containing or Deactivating Strategy Continued

Beliefs:

The world

is harsh, scary and dangerous, something is wrong with me, I’m not safe, I can’t show myself, I must hold it together—I become disconnected emotionally.

They may feel that there is a wall between them and the world; I can take over the world.

Use of Language is Rational, which avoids inner experiences, become good at analyzing and being in their heads and using logic. Slide48

Sensitive Analytic, Containing or Deactivating Strategy Continued

Etiology:

Preverbal, not feeling protected, feeling that the world is too big, no one there for them.

Missing Experience:

Welcomed, Safe, demonstrate genuine

i

nterested in them

Strengths:

Detailed, Loyal, Through, Empathy, Intuitive/Sensing Slide49

Sensitive Emotional

Other Side of

Safety Seeking

Strategy:

Sensitive

Emotional

Exercise:

Imagine before you can talk, reaching out for someone who either isn’t there or Isn’t paying attention to you or pulling away.

Notice what you want to do to get their attention or keep them there.Slide50

Sensitive EmotionalSlide51

Sensitive Emotional

Characteristics

:

High Emotional Charge

Intensity of Passion

HypervigilantSlide52

Characteristics Continued

Continued Characteristics:

Clingy In Relationship or yearning for Relationship

Chaos & Dramatic

Desperation/Panic as an Underlying ToneSlide53

Characteristics ContinuedCore Beliefs:

I’m not

safe

Something is wrong with

me

The world is too harsh DangerousSlide54

Characteristics ContinuedI’m too much for

others

If I lose contact, I will

die

If I am not Passionate, I will Cease to

Exist

Everything could be lost at any momentSlide55

Sensitive Emotional Strengths

Sensory Awareness

Make Strong Connections with Others

Social Involvement

Sensitivity & Depth of Passion

Intensity of PassionSlide56

Missing Experience

Feeling Welcomes

Safety & Protection

Freedom of Fear & TerrorSlide57

Missing Experience

Belonging

without Feeling Negative about

themselves

Being Connected

without

Intrusiveness or

Controling

Being

Co-RegulatedSlide58

Healing

Create Safe Presence

Be attentive

Be Real & HumanSlide59

Healing

Create Space

Act with

Kindness

Building Trust Helps Build Their

O

wn StabilitySlide60

GUIDE 30Class Six, February 23rd

, 2016

Brief Check In

Continuing With Character Strategies

Exercises & LecturesSlide61

Character Strategies Continued

Character Reminder:

Character Style is an unconscious (outside of awareness) method of operating in the World.

Instead of traditional Clinical Psychology that places people in Diagnostic Categories: Anxiety Disorders, Depressive Classifications, etc.

Character is a person’s Automatic Pilot to meet the world.Slide62

Character Strategies Continued

Understanding Character:

Helps people develop other options to return back to their essence, which character becomes secondary

Provide more choices to life’s stressors

Helps unlock the Character style someone is locked intoSlide63

Nourishment Seeking

Strategy One: Longing

Strategy Two: Self Reliant

Exercise: Imagine being a toddler, needing to be reassured that you are okay and that help will be there, but it either doesn’t come, or it is inconsistent.

Discuss your ExperienceSlide64

Longing StrategyAlso Known as Conserving StrategySlide65

Longing or Conserving Strategy

Conserving Energy: Feel depleted that no one is there to help

Conserving Energy: If expression of feelings, people will abandon them Slide66

Longing or Conserving Strategy

Characteristics:

Childlike Qualities

Emotionally Needy with a Sweat Demeanor

Dependent & Clinging Feeling

Want to be Liked

Diminished Sense of Capability & CapacitySlide67

Qualities Continued

May want a lot of Attention or Reassurance

Fears Abandonment

At Times, can be Demanding, Selfish

Difficulty Self-Soothing or Self-Supporting

Friends/Partners can become drained and angry

Can also become Jealous & UnappreciativeSlide68

Somatic Presentation

Child like Body

Limbs can seem baby like on fully developed body

Can Appear frail

Energy in body appears undercharged

Collapsed Chest

Eyes: Sad, Pleading, Questioning QualitySlide69

Core Beliefs

No One Helps Me

I’m all alone

There isn’t Enough (Thus, they don’t take in support)

Everyone will Leave me

I can’t do it

I can’t get supportSlide70

Strengths

Interested in Others

Affectionate

Express Feelings (except anger) easily

Youthful & Playful

Empathetic & Understanding

Kind Sweat DemeanorSlide71

Missing ExperienceHelp Them find their Own Strength

Activate Core Muscles

Recognize rejecting Nourishment

Make Friends with being able to take in SupportSlide72

Self Reliant Character Stratagy

Exercise:

Imagine that you’re a toddler and there is no one is there to help out. You wait and wait and wait, but no one comes, notice what happens

Discuss ExperienceSlide73

Self Reliant CharacterSlide74

Self Reliant Character

Feels that no one is there

Can’t ask for or accept help

Needs are denied and suppressed

Can be Nurturing and generous

Internal Experience of Loss

May be exploited, feel usedSlide75

Self Reliant Dilemma

Cares for others and neglects personal needs

Can refuse nourishment and feel deprived

Looks independent, so no one take care of themSlide76

Somatic Presentations

Upright Posture

Braced Structure

Shoulders back

Straight Neck

Don’t lean

Knees LockedSlide77

Self Reliant Core Beliefs

There’s no one here for me

I need to do it myself

I have to care for myself

I Don’t expect Things from others

My Needs Don’t matter or must be placed asideSlide78

Self Reliant Strengths

Sensitivity to others

Self Support

Nurturing and Compassionate Abilities

Doesn’t wait to get things done

Self Starter

Authenticity Slide79

Self Reliant Missing Experiences

Having Needs Recognized by others

Slowing down and giving time to take in nourishment

Becoming Comfortable asking for assistance & help

Take in and experience true gratitude and generosity

Balanced InterdependenceSlide80

Self Reliant Missing Experiences Probes:

Its ok to have needs

Your needs are important

You can allow me to help

You can get what you needSlide81

Identity Seeking or Expanding Strategies

Strategy One: Tough Generous or Strong Supportive

Strategy Two: Persuasive or Charming Manipulative

Exercise:

You’re between Two & Four Years old and adult says that you can trust them anytime. You go to tell them something private and vulnerable and they laugh or tell someone else.

Discuss your experienceSlide82

Tough Generous or Strong Supportive StrategySlide83

Tough Generous Characteristics

Strong Presentation or Dominant Energy

Invulnerable

Protective/Heroic

Often Admired

Can Create Dependencies in othersSlide84

Tough Generous DilemmaHard Time being Open & Vulnerable

Hard Time being Authentic

Even when not meaning to be, can be Intimidating

Only Seen for their ExteriorSlide85

Tough Generous Core Beliefs

The world is Dangerous and Competitive, I must win, get one up

People will use me if I let them

People can’t be trustedSlide86

Tough Generous Core Beliefs

I’ll never show my hurt

I am a kind protector of the week and a ruthless enemy

Had an experience of innocence/vulnerability being violated, they were mocked and exploitedSlide87

Tough Generous Strength

Good Leaders & Public Speakers

Can be Charismatic & Creative

Very Generous, once earning their trust

Cool under fire

Protect the VulnerableSlide88

Somatic PresentationsOrganized to Protect the Softness Underneath & Inside

Puffed up Upper Body, especially Chest Area

Somewhat narrow in the hips and lower body

Similar to puffing one’s self upSlide89

Tough Generous Missing ExperiencesBeing Real Consistently

Being able to share hurt and vulnerability consistently

Appreciate realness to them (very sensitive to manipulative people)

Trusting others with their softnessSlide90

Persuasive Strategy

Exercise:

Imagine being three years old, falling off the monkey bars at the park. You turn to cry to your parents, and they tell you get it together, don’t embarrass them

Discuss your ExperienceSlide91

Also Known as Charming ManipulativeSlide92

Persuasive CharacteristicsEmpathy is an Art Form (Unfortunately, Self Serving)

Enhances Self-Esteem in Others

Placates those perceived in Powerful positions or opportunity

Harmony is of Highest ImportanceSlide93

Persuasive Characteristics

Diplomatic

Charismatic & Inspirational

Deceptive & Maneuver Secretly

Confident & Adventurous

Perceptive & AdoringSlide94

Persuasive Characteristics

May seem slimy, Cloying (tending to cause disgust or aversion)

May Seem Insincere or Fake

Tends to live in Fantasy (Image Based)

Provoke feelings of Sugar Coated or Con Artist

Provoke Feelings of Inadequate (projecting) or intimidated (protection)

Wanting to Control Others & Desperate Feeling Wanting to be Liked Underneath

May Feel Charmed or SeducedSlide95

Persuasive Strategy Dilemma

To protect inner vulnerability, inner truth is denied (Empathetic towards outside, not in tuned inside).

Protect themselves by keeping real feelings away

A feeling of emptiness inside and long for acceptance

Want to move up in Career at all cost, find alone at top

Compensate by morphing into whatever others want (deceiving others as well as self), resulting in insincere/false relationshipsSlide96

Somatic Presentation

Attractive, often visually pleasing

Soft outside and rigid inside—sometimes slithery body type

Energy is Sweat & Soft, often likable

Deep Eye Contact

Voice can be strong & confident (sometimes voice inflection gives them away).

Soft outside and rigid inside—slithery body typeSlide97

Persuasive Core BeliefsI have to placate those in power to get ahead

It’s dangerous to be open about my motives

I am being authentic

People will exploit me if I let them Slide98

Persuasive StrengthsGood with Words

Make Great Actors

Can be good Team Members

Can have Strong Social and Nurturing SkillsSlide99

Persuasive Character Missing Experiences

Appreciate real feelings and accept them

Vulnerability protected from persecution

Ability to be emotionally intimate

Make it safe to tell the truth

Being real is appreciatedSlide100

Persuasive Character Missing Experiences

Work with Authentic Person behind the mask

Support hurt part from childhood

Increase Frustration Tolerance

Celebrate VulnerabilitySlide101

Guide 30Class Session Seven, March, 1, 2016

Half way Through

Brief Check in / Review

Character Strategies ContinuesSlide102

Character Strategy Continued

Review of Character Strategies:

Character is Automatic

Character is Organized around a Person’s Beliefs, Not Who One is

Character is to Protect & People Embody Their Psychology

Character: We develop it, forget how we did it, and the world becomes itSlide103

Character Strategy Continued

Safety Seeking:

De-Activated/ Sensitive-Analytic/Containing

Sensitive Emotional

Nurture Seeking:

Longing /Conserving

Self Reliant

Identity Seeking/Expanding Strategy:

Tough Generous/Strong Supportive

Persuasive/Charming ManipulativeSlide104

Freedom Seeking Character Strategy

Strategy One: Burdened Enduring

Strategy Two: Judging

Exercise:

Imagine being four years old, curious about the world and not able to sit still. You need to explore and express yourself. Your parent says, “If you love me, you will sit still, pay attention to me! “

You Feel to leave their side, you will lose their love.

Discuss Experience:Slide105

Burdened Enduring Strategy

Burdened Enduring Characteristics:

Feel Suppressed, Stuck, Stifled

Chronic Complaints, Stories of Suffering & Being Taken Advantage of

Humiliated or Over-ResponsibleSlide106

Burdened Enduring Strategy

A Helpless Kick-Me-Invitation

Feeling Guilty and /or Hostility

Victimized

Theme: It Will Never Work, What’s the UseSlide107

Burdened Enduring StrategyDilemma:

Pressured or Forced to the Will of Others Against His or Her Own Desires and Impulses

Conflicts: Attempts to Maintain Dignity and Sense of Self, while complying enough to maintain love or acceptanceSlide108

Burdened Enduring StrategySlide109

Burdened Enduring StrategySlide110

Somatic Presentation

Eyes can be Stagnant or Intense

Tension In Abdomen

Shoulders Bent Over, as if Bearing Too Much

Arms, Helpless as Unattached

Energy, Heavy, Immovable

Bodies can be Compact or ThickSlide111

Enduring Core BeliefsI Do Everything Wrong

The World Wants me To Suppress Myself

I Will Never Get What I want

I must Endure, Wait Out Others Anger & Abuse, Outlive Their Pressure on Me.Slide112

Enduring Core Beliefs

People Are Always Pushing Me to Do Something

My Life Doesn't Belong to Me

Things Never Go Easy; it’s Always a Struggle

It will Never WorkSlide113

Enduring Strengths

Able to Remain Steady, Even Under Overwhelming Pressure

Able to Endure Harsh Conditions

Don’t Give

LoyalSlide114

Enduring Strengths

Can Be Good Negotiators

Can Have Good Sense of Humor

Capable of Great LoveSlide115

Enduring Missing Experience

Freedom in Relationship

Being Spontaneous & Joyful

Expression of Opinions in Accepting Relationships

Absence of Overwhelming Pressure & Over Responsibility

Self Acceptance, Acceptance of OthersSlide116

Enduring Missing Experience

Work with Choice

Support & Celebrate Resistance

Find and Support Impulses

Allow Impulses to Complete their Cycle

Celebrate Aliveness & JoySlide117

Judging Character StyleExercise:

You’re Four-years old and your learning to understand how the world works, exploring and coming up with your own views. Your parent tells you that there is no place for your view, and your only option is to see it their way.

Discuss Experiences:Slide118

Judging Character Style

Characteristics:

Rigid, Emotionally Tight, Charged

Over Responsible

Challenge OthersSlide119

Judging Character Style

Can Be Unforgiving

Discount Praise & Compliments

Negative Expectations or Outlook

Keen Sense of Justice & Fairness, Confrontational

Reactive to Perpetrators and VictimsSlide120

Judging Character StyleSlide121

Judging Character StyleSlide122

Judging Strategy Dilemma

Keeper of the Rules: Thus Maintaining an Illusion of Freedom and Choice While Escaping Through the Use of Judgment and Criticism

Person only Feels Powerful While Judging and Criticizing Others, Caught in a Self-Defeating Pattern that Impedes True Freedom and Choice.

Etiology: To Be Loved, I Must Join and Agree With Controlling ParentSlide123

Judging Character Somatic Presentation

Strength in Upper Body

Challenging Eyes

Rigid Throughout Posture (Mixture of Defiance & Pride)

Energy in Body Pulls Upward

Sharpness in Speech , Tone, tight Jaw

Focuses Attention of Others, as if Being On GuardSlide124

Judging Character Core Beliefs

I am only Loved if I Obey the Rules

I am Generally Right

I will do more than my part to make sure I don’t get Criticized

Life is a Struggle, There is No Easy

My Job is to Monitor Fairness

I will Make Sure I Get What I WantSlide125

Judging Character Strategy's Strengths

Able to Maintain in Opposition

Don’t Give up on Difficult Tasks

Hard Workers, Well OrganizedSlide126

Judging Character Strategy's StrengthsAdvocated for Justice & Fairness

Will Follow Rules

Ethical, Moral

Willing to Speak Up For Self &OthersSlide127

Judging Strategy Missing Experiences

Freedom in Relationship to Be Themselves

Spontaneity, Joy & Playfulness

Acceptance for Different Views & Opinions

Absence of Pressure to Conform to Those in PowerSlide128

Judging Strategy Missing Experiences

Work with Choice

Be an Ally for Aliveness and Freedom

Support Vulnerable Feelings

Work with AngerSlide129

Recognition/Worth Seeking Character Strategies

Strategy One: Industrious or Producing

Strategy Two: Expressive or Attracting CharacterSlide130

Industrious or Producing Strategy

Exercise:

You are in Elementary Grade School and you receive a prize for your project. You’re ecstatic and you can’t wait to show a parent. Upon showing your ribbon, they say in a disciplinarian tone, “How come you didn’t get first place? “

Exercise Two:

Pick a spot or object on the other side of the room. That is your only goal, notice what you do to get there. Now that you got there, notice how you feel?

Discuss Experiences:Slide131

Industrious or Producing StrategySlide132

Industrious or Producing StrategySlide133

Industrious or Producing Characteristics

Energy is Rushed

Movement is Purposeful

Focused on Outcome and Product, over the Process

Eye on the Prize Mentality

Strived for PerfectionSlide134

Industrious or Producing CharacteristicsRelationships are Secondary to Getting Things Done

Resting is Difficult and Undervalued

Prefers Work, instead of Play

Feels Unaccepted, longs for TendernessSlide135

Industrious or Producing Dilemma

To Feel Loved, Person Focuses on Achievements (Get Job Done)

Lack of Inner World Experiences, Others are Shut Out

To Cope with Lack of Intimacy, They Work Harder To Not Feel The Broken Heart Under the Busyness

Sometimes Feels Competitive, Attempt to Assure They Are Good EnoughSlide136

Industrious or Producing Somatic Presentations

Proportionate Body

Bright Eyes

Posture, At Attention and Ready to Move

Forehead Tense, Prominent Jaw

Stiff Neck (Lots of neck Problems, Due to lack of rest)

Back of Legs TightSlide137

Industrious or Producing Core Beliefs

I

Can’t Relax

I Have to Do Better

I Have to Perform

My Worth Depends on What I Can Achieve

There’s Always Something to Do

Work Never Ends

I Work Hard for LoveSlide138

Industrious or Producing Strengths

Very Fast, Hard, Action Oriented

Efficiency

Attentive to Details

Can Generate a lot of Energy & Excitement

Often Admired for Their Togetherness

Self-Confident in the Working PlaceSlide139

Industrious or Producing Missing Experiences

Accepted and Loved for Who They are

They have Something to Offer as is

Valued for Who They Are

Just Fine as Is

See Child for fullness & Emerging Talents, Not for AccomplishmentsSlide140

Industrious or Producing Missing Experiences

Teach Child or Client’s Value lies with Inner Being, not on Outer Performance

Celebrates Person’s Uniqueness

Grief for Rejection Leading to Feeling as not Good Enough

It’s okay to RestSlide141

Expressive or Attracting Character Strategy

Exercise:

You’re in Elementary School and you try to tell your parents that you’re feeling down or hurt. Right away they respond by saying, “Don’t you dare have bring me down!” You right away do feel good enough, notice what you’re going to do to stay connected to them to feel loved.

Discuss Experience: Slide142

Expressive or Attracting Character StrategySlide143

Expressive or Attracting Characteristics

Excessive Need for Attention

Quick Witted

Dramatic & Overwhelming

Can Be Seductive or Inappropriately Sexualized

Live Hard, Die Young Mentality

Extreme Case, Going to the Extreme to Be seen & MatterSlide144

Expressive or Attracting Dilemma

Seeking to Be seen and Validated

Constant Desire for Attention & Drama

Overtime this One Dimensional Relationship Style Overwhelms Others Who Ultimately Push Them Away (Self-Fulfilling Prophecy)Slide145

Expressive or Attracting Somatic Presentation

Attractive or Noticeable

Colorful or Exotic Attire

Lots of Movement & Gestures

A lot of Eye Contact

Intensity in Contact Expression

Sometimes, Sexual Overtones & Innuendos Slide146

Expressive or Attracting Core Beliefs

I Need a lot of Reassurance

My Worth Depends on my Sexual

Attractivenss

No One Will Stay With Me, Everyone Rejects Me Eventually

No One Wants to Understand Me (No One Gets Me)

I have to Be Interesting or Dramatic to be Loved (I have to work for love)Slide147

Expressive or Attracting Strengths

Expressive, Vibrant, Creative, Alive

Great Performers & Entertainers

Strong Intuition

Often Very Accomplished

Fun, Enthusiastic, Playful & Talented

Unique & One of a KindSlide148

Expressive or Attracting Missing Experiences

To be Loved & Appreciated for Who They Are

Secure in their Own Being, Free of Need to Prove or Earn Love

Opportunity to Relax, Play, Enjoy Life, No Performance

Experience Relationships without Needing to Do Anything

Probe: It’s Okay to just be or You Don’t have to do Anything for meSlide149

Home Work for Next WeekOne-Two Pages, Typed, Double Spaced

What Character Style Do You Believe you may Embody Most

What are the Strengths of your Preferred Character Strategy

What is One Character Strategy That you see in Others and Don’t Like, and Why?Slide150

Guidance 30Class Eight, March 8th

, 2016

Guest Presenter: Anneka

Rogers

Whitmer, M.A.

Columbia College Trio Program Director & Speech Professor

EcopsychologySlide151

Guidance 30Class Nine, March 15th

, 2016

Guest Speaker:

Laureen

Campana, MPH, NP,

RN

Columbia

College Nurse & Health Center Coordinator

Location: Juniper 4

Phone: 209.588.5204

Email:

campanal@yosemite.eduSlide152

Guidance 30Class Eleven, April 5th, 2016

Grief Process Healing & Transformation

What is GriefSlide153

Grief Process

Human Being’s Natural Response & Healing to Loss

It’s

the suffering when someone or something you love or are invested in is taken

away!

A Time of Betwixt & BetweenSlide154

Grief Terminology

Grief

: Mental & Emotional suffering or distress over affliction or loss; sharp sorrow; painful

regret

Mourning: To feel or express sorrow or

sadness

Bereavement: Deprivation or

loss

Using Them Interchangeably Slide155

Many Manifestations of Loss

Kinds of Loss:

Trauma (Loss of Safety or Innocence)

Loss of Self

Loss of EgoSlide156

Many Manifestations of

Loss Continued

Job Loss

Loss of Future

Loss of a Pet

Loss of IdentitySlide157

Many Manifestations of Loss Continued

Loss of Health

Divorce or Break Up

Miscarriage

Even Positive Changes (Promotion) can Bring up LossSlide158

Common Myths & Common Comments

The Pain will go away if I Ignore it

Don’t Feel the Feeling/Be Strong in the Face of Loss

The Process will be Complete in One Year

If they’re in a Better Place, I shouldn’t Feel BereavedSlide159

Stages of the Grief Process

Shock

: Takes Place First, Protects Person from Too Much

Overwhelm

Common Thought: This Can’t be Happening to me

Feelings of Numbness & Disbelief, SurrealSlide160

Stages of the Grief Process

Protest Stage:

Common Thought Process: Why is Happening to Me

?

Common

Feelings: Anger, Feeling Burned, Ripped Off,

Irritability

Intense & Heightened

Sympathetic Nervous

System

ArousalSlide161

Stages of the Grief ProcessDisorganization:

Common Thought: I’m too sad to do anything

Feelings: Depression

, Walking Through Mud

,

Feel like Life isn’t Worth Going

on, Bottomed Out

Deep Healing Occurring Outside of AwarenessSlide162

Stages of the Grief Process

Reorganization:

Common Thought: Even Though it Still Hurts, I can go on

Finding

Meaning in the Death,

Spiritual

Awakening,

Able

to move forward, even under enormous Life

Changes

(Transformed & Built Capacity)Slide163

Next Week

Guest Speaker: Matt Wohl, M.A., Candidate

California State University, Stanislaus

Columbia College Special Programs Counseling Intern

Topic: Mindfulness

Creative Therapeutic Process:

Art Therapy &

Sandplay

Therapy

Slide164

Guidance 30April, 12 Session Twelve

Guest Speaker: Matt Wohl, M.A.,

Candidate

California State University, Stanislaus

Columbia College Special Programs Counseling

Intern

Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor (LPCC) Trainee

Topic

: Mindfulness Slide165

Creative Therapeutic Process

When you think about Art, what is your experience?

What was your Art Experience growing up?Slide166

Art Therapeutic Expression

Art is an Expression of the Artist’s Experience

Art: Mainstream & Academic Institutions Tend to focus on the End Product

Art Therapy: An Expression of a part of yourself

Anything that is expressed is okay!Slide167

Art Therapeutic ExpressionExercise One:

Take any medium and color that you feel drawn towards

Spend Ten Minutes Creating Anything you want

Discuss Experience Slide168

Left Brain/Right Brain

Left Brain Hemisphere :

Analytical

Conscious

Cognitive (Thought)

Detailed

Logical

Planning

Rational

Time Oriented

VerbalSlide169

Left Brain/Right Brain

Right Brain Hemisphere:

Big Picture

Creative

Emotion

Images

Imagination

Intuitive

Spatial

Spiritual

Timelessness

Unconscious Slide170

Art Therapeutic Expression

Exercise Two:

Mind Body Exercise

Discuss ProcessSlide171

Art Therapeutic Expression

Exercise Three:

Draw a Picture Together for Five Minutes

Discuss ExperienceSlide172

Art Therapeutic Expression

Exercise Four:

Titration Exercise

Five Minutes, Create Dark Part

Five Minutes, Create Light Part

Five Minutes, Pendulum Process

Discuss Experience Slide173

Guidance 30Class Session Thirteen, April 19, 2016

Brief Introduction into

Sandplay

Therapy

Understanding Trauma

Sometimes Emotional Pain & Psychological Diagnosis can be shrouded in Shame, Secrecy, Acting Out

(

Harm Others) or Acting In

(

Self Harm

),

but many times it’s preceded by Trauma that’s faded into the background

-

Van Der

Kolk

, 2014Slide174

Brief Overview of Trauma

Trauma is a Normal Life Process

Becoming Traumatized can be a Life Altering Event

Person Becomes Stuck in Survival Mode, Focused on Fighting off Unseen Enemies, leaving no room for Nurture, Care, Love

Limiting ability to Imagine, Plan, Play, Learn, and Pay Attention to other People’s needsSlide175

Overview of Trauma

Humans will do anything to have these awful visceral feelings go away:

Whether cling to another person

Harming One’s self, Harm Others: Replacing Psychic Pain for Physical Pain

Render themselves insensible with Drugs & Alcohol

Develop Secret Lives: Housed in Shame or TerrorSlide176

Traumatic States

Fight:

Flight:

Freeze:Slide177

Symptoms of Trauma

Fight:

Orienting Reflexes into Chronic Alertness & Arousal

On Edge, Looking for Potential Disturbance or Threat

Move in & out of Arousal StateSlide178

Symptoms of TraumaFlight:

Turning or Twisting Motion to Run Away

Preserve the Species

Instability

in Legs to RunSlide179

Symptoms of Trauma

Freeze State:

When unable to access Flight or Fight Response, Freeze State Sets in

Nervous System Becomes Overwhelmed to Help

A

void Pain

Sympathetic Nervous System, Highly Activated State Slide180

Freeze State Continued

Energy is Still Full Tilt: Adrenaline is Running Unconsciously Full Speed

Parasympathetic Nervous System Overrides to Slow Down Sympathetic

Metaphor: Full Brakes & Full Throttle Simultaneously Applied

Metaphor: Animals Don’t Prey on the Dead

Energy is Unable to DischargeSlide181

Understanding Traumatic Discharge

Stuck Energy Remains Dormant, Waiting to Discharge

When Beginning to Discharge, Physical Shaking Occurs

Emotions of Fear, Terror, Homicidal Rage, and Suicidal Depression are Common

DissociationSlide182

When Trauma Arises

We Don’t Try To Access it

Trauma Comes up on its own

Ridding the Rapids

Tolerate Sitting With OverwhelmSlide183

Brain Processes

Left Cerebral Cortex: Speech, Logic/Analytical, Sequential, Time Oriented, Detail, Planning

Right Cerebral Cortex: Intuitive,

Emotional,

Spatial,

Tactile

Left brain does the Talking, Right Brain has the experience, communicating through body language and facial expressions.

Right brain develops first in the womb and the left brain comes online when children begin to understand languageSlide184

Brian Processes Continues

Left & Right brain process the past differently:

The Right processes the memories of sounds, smell, touch and the emotions evoked by

them

The Left processes through facts, statistics and the vocabulary of the

event

When Trauma arises, lose the left brain function, loss of time, speech and the ability to organize the event into a logical sequence to make sense of it, or put words to the feelings of the event. Slide185

Brain Process

People who Experienced Trauma, weather Abuse, Neglect, Witness Violence, Etc.., can Still Heal, have Intimacy, Mutual Trust, and Deep Spiritual Connection, which the Universe can open up.

One’s Map of the World is Encoded in the Emotional Brain Center/ Central Nervous System and change comes with Reorganizing the Emotional Brain and Nervous System.

Change Occurs when we make Friends with our

E

motional Process, being able to tolerate emotional hurts. Slide186

Homework

Email to me Monday, April 25

th

by 12Noon

1-2 Pages: Two Areas that you learned about yourself this semester from the courses.

How has this Self Awareness Been Impactful/BeneficialSlide187

Working with a Irate/ Angry StudentEOPS Retreat

May, 10

th

, 2016

How do you deal with an Angry Student?

What do you Experience (overwhelm, want to agree)

What do you want to do for them (solve the problem)Slide188

Common Upsetting Scenarios:

Grades:

Possible underlying Assumptions:

They didn’t see my effort (after all I went through)

Sometimes one’s work is equated with their

worth & now I’m one down

Shame & Rage Cycle: I feel wrong and need to prove that I’m right Slide189

Common Upsetting Scenarios:

Teacher Didn’t Understand

me:

I don’t feel that I matter!

My Financial Situation won’t

allow me:

Again, not understood: What

do they expect of me?

Did you know what I had to go through to get here?

Finances can produce Survival Fear, which can produce rage (Combination of Terror and Anger to Compensate)Slide190

Working with Student

Emotions are body responses, which under high emotional arousal, Left Brain Logic, Rationale /Thinking Function tends to Shut Down.

Begin by Understanding Their Feelings

Psychologically: You let a person know that they matter

Physiologically: Reduces Sympathetic

N

ervous System Arousal (Responsible in Fight & Flight) activating Parasympathetic Nervous System, Responsible for Relaxation & Repair. Slide191

Nuts & Bolts

Empathy:

The Ability to place yourself in the student’s shoes.

Caution: Empathy is not agreement!

Sometimes can feel tempted/influenced to want to agree with the student.

Something to say: As I put my self in your shoes, I can really understand your situation. Slide192

Nuts & Bolts Continued

Very Understandable

I get it!

Frustrating or overwhelming, huh

Someone whose very load: The anger is totally fine and understandable, but could you bring the volume down a bit?Slide193

Nuts & Bolts ContinuedI’m trying my hardest to understand you, but I am feeling overwhelmed, could you speak a bit more

softly

Someone who is struggling to make their point:

I’m trying my hardest to understand you, what was it you want me to know?

Main Emphasis: I values what you’re sayingSlide194

Nuts & Bolts ContinuedBody Language:

Show Concern

Pit falls, Overly concerned & Empathetic can feel Intrusive or Patronizing

Leaned back can appear that I don’t care, or one is of little concern