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The Dyslexicon Entry: The DOG (Dyslexic Geek Organiza-tion): In these climes of specialized tubs, it snot atoll surprising theres a club for... Nate nished reading the entry, closed the Dyslexicon, and left the library with a grow-ing realization that he must become a part As Nate entered the oce, the Head of the tending his hand. Please dont take a fence, but youre a robot, arent you? Im a violin virtuoso robot. Nate shook the hand. And Im dyslectic. The Head indicated a chair facing the desk. If I say may, you dont sound dyslec-lectic. Ive a rmware bug that makes me occasionally play notes out of order. Ive lost my job because of it. The Head eyed him, coolly. Cant you just get a wormfair upgrade? Firmware upgrades cost money. Nate executed the ironic laugh subroutine. Shel-ter and fuel cells arent free. I can barely aord my windowless basement room in a Its not a joke for me. Nate invoked a level-three pleading tone. If I dont learn how to live in a human society, Ill cease to exist. Im a writer now, but nobody wants to buy my books. If I cant learn what people want to read, Im nished. Authors Forward: Up until high school, I had a full syndrome of dyslexic behaviorsprobably due to my being forcibly switched from left to right-handed in preschool (although I did have the common predictor of thinking mainly in pictures). I had the confusion and backward slant tendency on s. I also was a little prone to Spoonerisms (which make up much of the story) and puns. I learned early to pre-tend they were intentional. In fact, when I wrote The Dyslexicon, I created an organiza-, which stood for the Dyslexic Geek Organization. I didnt realize until Id proofed the story that it should have been DGO. I left it as DOG, of course. Dyslexia is a broad term, and I take it to describe the full gamut of linguistic confusions. Ive heard dyslexia described as www.dyslexia.com ). While it was a real pain when I was a kid, I now think that in some respects, yes, it was/is a gift. (It did, though, make it very difficult for me to learn any Inuktitut since the rotational angle of the alphabet consonants deter-mines what vowel follows it.) Carl Frederick The Dyslexicon 2 These are tough rhymes. The Head leaned forward, his chair squeaking under his shifting weight. I dont see in what hay the DOG could whelp. The Head stood. About every month, some young snot-nosed rat breeds in the li-my wine with a foamy membership applica-Its not a joke for me. Nate invoked a level-three pleading tone. If I dont learn how to live in a human society, Ill cease to exist. Im a writer now, but nobody wants to buy my books. If I cant learn what people want to read, Im nished. Hmm. A writer. The Head sat slowly, his expression transforming from cold disdain to a cheerful warmth. We might have a cot for a sloppy editor. How you are at proof-reading? Here, we sing the body dyslectic, said the Head, expansively. And we sorely need a prude goofreader. Are you oering me a job? Perhaps. The Head nodded. I think we can brain you for a trite future. Whats the catch? I mean, you know with it? Its not as if youre selling your soul to Santa. Look. I dont oer a mob to just Nate widened his eyes by ve percent. Its like becoming a werewolf, he said in a afraid. Unless youre a geek. You have my attention. The Head leaned A mall leers. Well, the rst book I wrote was titled String Theory for Yo-yosthe bay public about string theory would sell The Head laughed. You wean the murk was really about yo-yos? Yes. Of course. You got me. Thats geeky. And my second book, Puns, Palindromes, Ultra-geeky, said the Head. But whats Its really neat. Nates lips formed the default smile. You write a word in Morse Yeah? The Head pushed forward a note-one. Use becomes dot, gnat turns into wane. But look here. This is really neat. then the word in Morse Code (And time becomes emit. But emit is also time spelled backwards. Isnt that amaz-It really is amazing. The Head looked up from the pad. Okay, Im convinced. Ill be proud to enter your name onto our rolls. Wait, said Nate. Youre not speaking dyslexically anymore. Its one of the reasons DOG exists. The Head spread his hands. Weve found that Carl Frederick The Dyslexicon 3 when a dyslectic geek is being truly geeky, his dyslexia goes into remission sort of like a stutterer not stuttering when hes Really? Nate sprang to his feet. Tongue-twisters work also, said the Head. She sells sea shells. That sort of stu. Causes a dyslexia overload, most likely. ware is meant to emulate human wetware. But be careful using tongue-twisters. Theres The chronic condition of speaking in long sentences where most of the words start with the same sound. pumped the Heads hand. Thank you. Ive He bolted for the door. With new hope, Nate hurried away. sells sea shells by the sea shore. She sells sea shells by the see-saw. She sells...Dads dead dogs died digging ditches. Dads dead Finally, thinking of a bowed violin, Nate returned to his abode, vile inn that it was. There, applying what hed learned from the DOG, he picked up his instrument and played a Paganini caprice. Perfect! Not a trace of musical dyslexia. He could return to know Ill never have another night where knots of nasty nitwits note that numerous notes were neither nice nor normal. Soon thereafter, Nate moved out of his shabby room in the Robotels basement and up to the second oorbut thats another storey. Carl Frederick is a theoretical physicist, at least theoretically. After a post-doc at NASA and a stint at Cornell University, he left theoretical astrophysics rst love, quantum relativity theory (a strange rst love, perhaps) in favor of Scientist of a small company doing AI software. He has two more-or-less grown children and shares his house with a pet robot. For recreation, he fences epee, learns languages, and plays the bagpipes. He lives in rural Ithaca, New York. Several years ago, he decidection. (He says some of his colleagues had suggested that his research papers already fell into that genre.) To that end, he attended the year 2000 Odyssey Writers Workshop and subsequently was a published nalist in the 2002 Writers of the Future contest and a rst place winner the following year. He has also put an interactive novel on the Web. It is interactive in that you can click to change the point of view and to expose sub-plots: www.darkzoo.net , if you care to visit. Although shopping around a few novels faster than a speeding glacier, he is predominately a short story writer. His AnalogHe has since returned to his aforementioned Story copyright © 2008, Carl Frederick. Artwork © 2008, R.W. Ware. All Rights Reserved. This story was published as Flash 2008/04 #1 on Flash Fiction Online (flashfictiononline.com).