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Clergy Abuse: Clergy Abuse:

Clergy Abuse: - PowerPoint Presentation

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Clergy Abuse: - PPT Presentation

Betrayal and Relational Complex Trauma Christine A Courtois PhD ABPP Psychologist Private Practice Courtois amp Associates PC Washington DC CACourtoisPhDaolcom wwwdrchriscourtoiscom ID: 528125

trauma complex family abuse complex trauma abuse family dynamics injury clergy betrayal org anger alterations support treatment priests symptoms

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Slide1

Clergy Abuse: Betrayal and Relational Complex Trauma

Christine A. Courtois,

PhD

, ABPP

Psychologist

,

Private

Practice

Courtois & Associates, PC

Washington, DC

CACourtoisPhD@aol.com

www.drchriscourtois.comSlide2

Relevant Books by Dr. CourtoisSlide3

I. Clergy abuse and incest have similar dynamics Both are forms of complex traumaII. Complex trauma ->complex reactionsIII. Complex reactions -> complex healingUnderstanding dynamics and common reactions helps to better understand the injury and to heal

OutlineSlide4

What is trauma?Stressor event or experience (includes witnessing)OverwhelmingDifferent types: impersonal, interpersonal, identity

What makes it traumatic?

Overwhelming

emotionally and

cognitively

Cannot be emotionally processed in the normal way

When interpersonal,

adds to the traumabetrayal, secrecy, silence, taboo, force/violence, blame/shame, etc.Avoided and not processedgeneralizes and/or goes underground

Defining TraumaSlide5

What is Complex Trauma? Interpersonal/identityOften during childhood/adolescenceImpacts development

In context of a relationship

Betrayal/Misuse/Exploitation

Repeated/chronic

Entrapping

Escalating over

time

Seriousness & intrusion

Defining

TraumaSlide6

What is Incest?Sexual abuse by family members (also

by

non-relatives who have family roles, including clergy)

Violates primary relationships and roles

Violates responsibility to protect

Misuses

authority, power, knowledge

Preys on and exploits those who are younger/smaller /less powerful/naïve/ immature/dependent/accessibleHave fewer resourcesVictims are

more vulnerable if

family is not healthySlide7

Common Dynamics of IncestBetrayal and Relational TraumaBetrayal of an essential and sacrosanct relationship and roleNot “stranger-danger”

Much more emotionally conflicted and damaging

May affect ability to remember

Second injury

Those who don’t respond or help

Institutional injury

Those that obstruct rather than help

Communities and organizationsSlide8

Common Dynamics of IncestDysfunctional FamilyWith boundary and power problems; sometimes violent, poly-abusive,

addictions

Power

and gender dynamics

Patriarchal

Closed system

Loyalty expected, even when not deservedFamily rules and injunctionsDon’t!: know, feel, react, respond, tellParadox and

hypocrisySlide9

Victim who discloses is blamed, shunned, scapegoated, “You are with us or against us; Don’t ask us to admit/change”Supporters/interveners are treated with suspicion, may be attacked

Secondary and tertiary victims

Trauma has a wake

:

like a pebble in a pond

Other family members, others in the

parish or faith

communityCommon Dynamics of IncestSlide10

Incestuous Dynamics of Clergy AbuseStructured power and historical behaviors (including abuse) and doctrinePatriarchal and hierarchical: Cardinals , bishops and priests as authority figures, extensions of the deity; contradictory views of women

Church as family

Church as closed system

Structured morals and beliefs

(that are violated)

Structured training of

priests

Vocations and seminaries Personal and psychosexual development in the seminarySlide11

Incestuous Dynamics of Clergy AbuseLoyalty and obedience expectedPriest as God’s representative:

Spiritual

father

Authority and moral figure

May have a role in the child’s biological family

Always to be honored, obeyed, respected

Not to be questioned/suspected

Church and congregants as extended familyChildren of GodBeliefs, structure, functioningLoyalty, attachment, kinship/faith ties Slide12

Incestuous Dynamics of Clergy AbuseBetrayal-trauma, hypocrisy, & disillusionment

Betrayal of role and responsibilities

Betrayal of beliefs and teaching

Ambivalent attachment/conflicted emotions/loyalty

Second Injury

Enablers (housekeeper, other priests, etc.)

Passive bystanders (other priests, congregants, parents, Bishops, Cardinals, etc.)

Those who should help and don’tLack of investigation, follow-up, silencingDisbelievers, blamers, scapegoaters, and attackersVicarious injury: collateral damageSlide13

Incestuous Dynamics of Clergy AbuseInstitutional Injury

Suppression of reports and inadequate investigation

Lack of reporting to criminal authorities

Lack of cooperation with investigations

Non-removal of perpetrators and moving them from one parish to another with no warning

Non-pastoral response to victims

Actively working against victims’

suits & rights Statutes of limitation, bankruptcies, etc.Expensive defense attorneysQuestioning of recovered or delayed memoriesSlide14

Incestuous Dynamics of Clergy AbuseAnd the list goes on…“

Just get over it.”

“What’s the big deal?”

“All (litigating) victims want is money and to bankrupt the Church.”

“It’s homosexuality and not pedophilia”

Can it not be one or the other or both?

“The Church does not have to report to civil authorities.”

“The problem is recent and it is over.”“Management systems are in place”“Why should I/we apologize for what other priests/Bishops did?”Slide15

II. Complex Reactions to Complex TraumaIndividual and subjectiveInitial and short-term:

W

ide

variety of behavioral, cognitive, emotional, physical/medical, identity, relational and family issues and

symptoms

PTS

and PTSD, depression, anxiety, dissociation, substance abuse and compulsions

by victim’s age and stage of developmentMay be noticed right away, but not understoodChild may not disclose, even when asked directly

Effects and symptoms may go dormantSlide16

Complex Reactions to Complex TraumaLong-term:

Same: PTS and PTSD, Complex PTSD,

dissociation, depression, anxiety, substance abuse

Episodic

Chronic

Again, manifested by age and stage

Delayed onset:

Secondary elaborations of the untreated original effects Cued by current events

(positive and negative):

media and other reports of clergy abuse; death of the perpetrator or others; feelings, thoughts, sensations; relationship and family issues; children and childrearing; response of others; institutional response, etc.Slide17

Post Traumatic Stress DisorderMajor symptoms (the big three):1. Re-experiencing2. Numbing/detaching

3. Hyper-arousal

Associated symptoms

Depression, anxiety, dissociation, substance abuse

Co-morbidity: medical and psychological

Self and relationship difficultiesSlide18

Complex Traumatic Stress Disorders: PTSD, plus or minus

Alterations in ability to regulate self and emotions

Alterations in sense of self

PREDOMINANTLY NEGATIVE AND SELF-BLAMING

Alterations in ongoing consciousness

Alterations in relation to the perpetrator

Alterations in relation to others

MISTRUST, alienationPhysical/medical concernsAlterations in meaning and spiritualitySlide19

Complex Injury ->ComplexTreatmentUnderstand complex trauma and reactionsFind an experienced therapist

Must understand sexual abuse, special issues of clergy abuse, complex trauma

Not all therapists have training in the treatment of trauma

Don’t take this for

granted!

Find someone you are comfortable with

The therapy relationship itself is part of the healing processSlide20

Complex Treatment for Complex InjurySequenced treatment with three main stages:1. Information/education, safety and stabilization, dismantling defenses/survival skills and managing symptoms, skill-development including emotional regulation skills, development of therapeutic relationship

2. Trauma memory processing: involves acceptance, grieving, and anger; strategizing about actions

3. Life re-engagement, meaning, spiritualitySlide21

Complex Treatment for Complex Injury: Reverse the Lessons of AbusePersonal SAFETY

is the foundation of healing

Support of others is crucial

Develop a support system

YOU ARE NOT ALONE

IT DIDN’T ONLY HAPPEN TO YOU

Put yourself and your family first

Determine your needsFamily members such as parents can be vicariously traumatized and may need support and treatmentExplain to children in age-appropriate waysSlide22

Complex Treatment for Complex InjuryRe-gain control: Get empowered for youTreat any addictions/compulsions simultaneouslyChallenge old messages and the “lessons of abuse”

Work to change thoughts and beliefs

Learn to remove/limit triggers

Learn skills to manage symptoms

Approach versus avoid trauma material

but with skills and support in place and in a balanced way

Trauma must be emotionally processed

Use anger for you and not against youSlide23

Healing is a processExpect ups and downsHealing from complex interpersonal trauma is longer rather than shorter-termBe unconditional and conditionalPerson versus behaviorExpect your own reactions

Vicarious or secondary trauma

Crisis in faith

Engage in self-care and have limits and boundaries

Have own sources of support/outside perspective

On Offering SupportSlide24

On GrievingCompounded, complicated mourning for what was and what wasn’tMultiple layers of betrayal and injury

Takes time and energy

Often involves righteous and justifiable anger

Ambiguous losses

Might not be recognized -> more loss and grief

Might not be supported

Search for meaning and validationSlide25

Anger for EmpowermentANGER/RAGE IS AN ENTIRELY JUSTIFIED RESPONSE TO ABUSEA difficult emotion, must be managed and modulated

LEARN TO USE ANGER PRODUCTIVELY AND IN WAYS THAT EMPOWER YOU

Use anger to reverse the lessons and put the blame where it belongs and not on you

Litigation is one option, not the only one

Can have a high personal cost, better if later in the process, get information and choose carefully

Personal healing and recovery are the ultimate goalsSlide26

Healing Is Possible and Is Your Right and ResponsibilityMaintain Hope and Solidarity with Others

ConclusionSlide27

Additional ResourcesSNAP.org (Survivors Network of Those Abused by Priests)MaleSurvivors.org

ISTSS.org (International Society for Traumatic Stress Studies)

ISSTD.org (International Society for the Study of

Trauma and Dissociation)

NCPTSD.org (National Center for PTSD)

NCTSN.org (National Child Traumatic Stress Network)

Sidran.org

Referral list, help desk, books and videos on trauma topics