Unit 3: Couples - PowerPoint Presentation

Slide1

Unit 3: Couples

Chapter 6: Marriage, Intimate Relationships, and Society

Chapter 7: Intimate Relationships and Marriage

Chapter 8: Relationship Issues and TrendsSlide2

Chapter 8: Relationship Issues and Trends

Overview

Intermarriage

Same-sex relationships

Infidelity

Spousal violence

DivorceSlide3

Relationship Issues

Men and women undertake marriage with the hope of having a meaningful and enduring relationship that meets their needs with someone they love

The motivation to marry is partly a biological desire to form a sexual relationship

Perhaps to have children

The married couple is also the primary social group in most societies

People enjoy their social lives and interact with others as couplesSlide4

Relationship Issues

The acceptance of romantic love as a basis for marriage underlines the expectation that marriage meets individuals’ need to be loved and desired and the reciprocal need to be exclusively with the one they desire

The focus on romantic love clouds the importance of marriage as a social, legal, and religious institution in Canadian societySlide5

Relationship Issues

Relationships that are outside the accepted norms of family or society appear to be less stable on the whole

Marriages between individuals from different social or cultural backgrounds are more likely to end in

divorce

, the legal dissolution of a marriage

Relationships between partners of the same sex also may face difficulties

Confusion based on gender roles from families of originSlide6

Relationship Issues

Serious problems in negotiating mutually satisfying roles within a relationship might threaten the relationship’s stability

Violence and extramarital sexual relationships are problems involving one individual betraying the trust and respect that are the basis of committed relationships

When problems in a relationship seem overwhelming, couples may seek counseling, or the help of a third party, in negotiating solution to their problems

Divorce has become the solution to a failed marriage for about one-third of married couples in Canada

The various factors affecting the stability of relationships will be examined in this chapterSlide7

IntermarriageSlide8

Intermarriage

Intermarriage

, or

heterogamy

, is marriage between partners who are from different social, racial, religious, ethnic, or cultural backgrounds

Opposite of

homogamy

Different characteristics are of greater concern in different parts of the world

Interracial marriages might be controversial in parts of the US

Interfaith marriage between a Catholic and a Protestant are of greater concern in Northern Ireland

Marriage between an Aboriginal woman and white man has some legal implications (involving status) in CanadaSlide9

Intermarriage

Intermarriage, whether the difference is racial, religious, or ethnic, is becoming more common in Canada

There are currently no restrictions on intermarriage

There has been little research done on intermarriage in Canada

But it may be a factor that will affect a couple’s satisfaction with their relationship and its durabilitySlide10

Intermarriage

In a diverse society like Canada’s, children of all races, religions, and ethnic groups attend school together and grow up together

They are socialized together at school, community activities, and through exposure to media, in to a similar mass culture

Canadian society is quite successful at raising kids to be “

colour

blind”

To see others of a different race, religion, or ethnicity, as equal and similar in culture

Thus it is more likely that young people will meet, be attracted to, and fall in love with someone from a different backgroundSlide11

Intermarriage

The differences, if there are any, between individuals of different races, religions, or ethnic backgrounds exist in their personal family lives

Intermarriage brings together two individuals who share similar contemporary culture

But discover they have different “roots” when they begin to negotiate the roles, rules, and rituals of their marriage

“Roots” are the different expectations, customs, roles, and rituals of family lifeSlide12

Intermarriage

Interracial marriages are the most visible forms of intermarriage

Research in interracial marriage reflects the concerns of the societies

In the US, prejudices about race have resulted in assumptions that individuals who marry someone of another race are motivated by:

Rebelling against their families

A desire to marry up by choosing someone of a more “desirable” raceSlide13

Intermarriage

Clayton

Majete

, an American sociologist and anthropologist, disproved these assumptions in his research

When individuals have similar socio-economic backgrounds, racial differences have little impact on:

The aspirations of individuals

Their reasons for marrying

The daily routines of their married life

Interracial couples adjust to marriage as well as any couple doesSlide14

Intermarriage

Couples in interfaith marriages in Canada face a different set of problems

Faith is a chosen attribute, unlike race, and it is possible to convert to another faith

Partners in an interfaith relationship usually have similar economic and educational backgrounds

But their family and social experiences might have been quite different

While interracial couples face the challenges of racism in society, interfaith couples face difficulties within their families and relationshipsSlide15

Intermarriage

Interfaith couples have to examine their personal and cultural value systems to negotiate the daily lifestyle they will share with each other

They must decide:

Whether to compromise some of their beliefs and customs or to accept their spouse’s beliefs and customs as well as their own

What faith identity to provide for their children

It is not surprising that interfaith marriages are more likely to succeed if at least one partner doesn’t practice his/her religion or is willing to convertSlide16

Intermarriage

Marriage between individuals of different ethnic background is the most complex form of

heterogamy

Ethnicity can be a complex mixture of national and racial heritage, religion, and culture

In Canada, many people are “hyphenated Canadians” or have two cultures (ex: Japanese-Canadian)

Self-identification as a member of an ethnic group suggests that an individual adheres to the specific value system, family structure, and role expectations that are associated with that ethnic groupSlide17

Intermarriage

The major variations among ethnic groups involve:

Gender roles within marriage and in the workplace

The independence and responsibilities of children

The relationship between the conjugal and extended family

Each of these affects how a couple will negotiate their relationship at each stage

Now that women are working outside the home, children are staying in school longer, and social programs are providing support for families, differences among ethnic groups are decreasingSlide18

Same Sex RelationshipsSlide19

Same-Sex Relationships

Over the past several decades there has been great resistance to the recognition of same-sex relationships

In recent years there has been a tremendous acceleration in the acknowledgement of such relationships

A survey released in April 2001 showed that 55% of Canadians supported same-sex marriages

Another in June 2001 shoed 65% supported them

The 2001 Canada census for the first time asked people whether they lived with a common-law partner of the same sexSlide20

Same-Sex Relationships

Same-sex relationships have always existed

In his discussion of love, the ancient Greek philosopher Plato suggested that early humans were essentially 2 people combined and that there were 3 sexes

Two male halves

Two female halves

One of each

As punishment for their

misbehaviour

, Zeus cut all humans into two people, each doomed to wander the Earth in search of his/her other half

Since then there have been homosexuals and heterosexuals all seeking their other half, the one person with whom they can share themselves and their livesSlide21

Same-Sex Relationships

In Plato’s Greece, homosexual relationships were commonplace and were considered normal

Today, the legal debate concerning same-sex relationships challenges society to examine the purpose of marriage and the role of intimate relationships in the lives of individuals

At the root of the debate is whether homosexuality is normal, and therefore, acceptableSlide22

Same-Sex Relationships

Some religious opponents of homosexual relationships quote the Bible to argue that God condemns them

Other religious scholars argue that the literal interpretation of the Bible no longer governs most sexual

behaviour

Some scholars believe that God created homosexuality as normal

behaviour

for a minority of human being

Therefore, same-sex couples who wish to enter a relationship based on love and commitment should be able to have their relationship blessed within their faithSlide23

Same-Sex Relationships

Homosexual men and women want stable love relationships based on affection and companionship

Contrary to popular belief, same-sex relationships don’t mimic heterosexual gender roles

An individual’s gender identity is not affected by his/her homosexuality

Homosexual couples often negotiate their roles based on interests and personal strengths

Satisfaction with same-sex relationships depend on the same variables as heterosexual relationships

Mutual respect

Shared values and goal

Ability to manage conflict

Regardless of sexual orientation, individuals have the same expectations of their intimate relationshipsSlide24

Same-Sex Relationships

The debate about same-sex relationships can be viewed from several theoretical perspectives

Symbolic

interactionism

can be used to investigate how being homosexual affects individual identity and the nature of homosexual relationships

Systems theory can be used to explain how couples establish their lives together

Developmental theory can be used to illustrate how enduring same-sex relationships progress through a series of stages as couple adjust their relationships through the inevitable crises presented in the lifespanSlide25

InfidelitySlide26

Infidelity

Evolutionary psychologists’ studies suggest that it is inherent in the nature of humans to be unfaithful

Early man was motivated to have many sexual partners to enhance his chance of having offspring

Women tended to be very selective about her sexual partners to improve the chances of having the man stay to support their offspringSlide27

Infidelity

However the norms of Western societies define extramarital sexual relationships as unacceptable

behaviour

Limiting sexual partners benefits a society because it strengthens the conjugal family, ensuring the greatest population growth and the support and socialization of offspring

Adultery does not work to the benefit of society, so people are taught that it is wrongSlide28

Infidelity

The actual rate of sexual

infidelity

is more difficult to determine

“The Monogamy Myth” states that, based on informal surveys, 60% of men and 40% of women have had extramarital sex

The General Social Survey found that 23% of men and 12% of women in America have had extramarital sex

Based on these results, it seems that people do have extramarital sex, despite their opinion that it is unacceptable

behaviourSlide29

Infidelity

Contrary to the excuses that evolutionary psychology might suggest, extramarital affairs don’t appear to be about sex

Psychologists and marriage counselors have found that individuals have affairs when their needs are not met in their marriages

Infidelity is more exciting than marriage, not because the sex is better, but because of the initial passion of a secret relationship, apart from the routine of everyday lifeSlide30

Infidelity

The

behaviour

of men and women differs when it comes to illicit sex

Men are more likely to have an extramarital relationship that is primarily sexual

Women are more likely to seek an “affair” based on romance and affection and to have sex only when they are “in love”

This explains why women are more tolerant of sexual infidelity than emotional infidelity in their partners, but men are more threatened by their partner’s sexual infidelity than by their emotionally intimate relationshipsSlide31

Infidelity

Infidelity results in divorce 65% of the time

Prior to the legalization of divorce, extramarital affairs were tolerated as a solution to unsuccessful marriages

As they have been in most societies for thousands of years

Now that couples can divorce, infidelity is the most common reason given for divorce

In some cases, counseling can help the couple recover from the affair and negotiate a better relationship

However, few relationships can completely recover from infidelity because it destroys the trust in the relationshipSlide32

ViolenceSlide33

Spousal Violence

In 1999, 8% of women and 7% of men in marriage and common-law relationships in Canada reported that they had been the

victim

of violence, or the person mistreated, by their partner in the past 5 years

Since

spousal violence

was first defined as a problem in the 1970s, research has resulted in a better understanding of the nature of violence, and the differences between:

Ineffective conflict resolution skills or “arguments that get out of hand”

Systematic violenceSlide34

Spousal Violence

Violence is any action that is intended to physically hurt someone, but it is only defined as a problem by the context

In the past, hitting a wife or child was considered acceptable, even necessary, discipline

In fact, the term “rule of thumb” dates back to the 19

th

century common law, which gave a man the right to use a stick no thicker than his thumb to chastise his wife, children, and servants!Slide35

Spousal Violence

In the early and mid-20

th

century,

domestic violence

was seen as a private matter

Police could lay charges only if they actually witnessed the assault themselves

Family and friends minded their own business

Women who sought help from their clergy were told to go home and work out the problem with their husbands

Early in the 20

th

century, women who left their husbands were guilty of desertion

They lost custody of their children and were entitled to no support

When divorce was legalized early in the 20

th

century, cruelty was grounds for divorce, but was difficult to proveSlide36

Spousal Violence

By the 1970s, the public opinion about violence had changed

Violence within intimate relationships is now legally defined as

assault

Recent legal charges require that police respond to domestic violence calls and lay charges when there is evidence of assaultSlide37

Spousal Violence

In the 1970s, spousal violence was regarded as ineffective conflict resolution

Power struggle between husbands and wives

Supported by the fact that spousal violence occurred in relationships of all socio-economic, religious, and ethnic backgrounds

Some people developed effective ways of settling their conflicts amicably

A minority of people used violent tacticsSlide38

Spousal Violence

The

intergenerational cycle of violence

states that individuals who…

Experienced violence or abuse as a child, or

Who observed the assault or abuse of their mothers

…are more likely to become either victims or perpetrators of violence in their intimate relationships

Social role theory suggests that individuals learn how to behave in a role such as “wife” or “husband” by observing and imitating significant role models

Suggests violence is a learned

behaviourSlide39

Spousal Violence

Social role theorists suggest that victims and perpetrators of violence can learn more effective ways of dealing with anger and resolving conflicts in order to break the

cycle of violence

, such as:

Counseling

Anger management

Communication

Conflict resolution skillsSlide40

The Cycle of ViolenceSlide41
Slide42

Spousal Violence

Why do women stay in violent or abusive relationships?

The cycle of violence showed that the violent phase of the cycle was followed by a period in which the perpetrator was apologetic and remorseful

It was possible for both partners to believe that the violence wouldn’t happen again

Systems theory explains that the couple had established a pattern of interaction that is difficult to change

Social exchange theory suggests the women stay because the consequences of leaving the relationship were worse than tolerating occasional assaultsSlide43

Spousal Violence

Women usually experienced many bouts of violence before eventually leaving a violent spouse

Women’s shelters, transition houses, and counseling programs have been established in communities across Canada to help women break out of the cycle of violence and begin to establish a new life for themselves and their childrenSlide44

Spousal Violence

The understanding that spousal violence was a universal problem was challenged by the 1993 Violence Against Women Study

Suggested that poor men were twice as likely to beat their wives as well-off men

Half the perpetrators were under 29 years of ageSlide45

Spousal Violence

The following key risk factors were identified:

Unemployment for more than one month

Personal bankruptcy

A drop in wage or salary

Taking an additional job to make ends meet

Child support or alimony payments that he did not have before

A move to less-expensive accommodations

Taking in a boarder to make ends meet

One or more demotions

Loss of income due to return to school

Some other important career setback

Some other significant negative change in economic circumstances

The presence of each of these factors increased the likelihood that a man would assault his wifeSlide46

Spousal Violence

The rate of assault for men experiencing none or only one of these events was 8 in 100 men

For men experiencing six or seven of these events, the rate rose to 33 in 100 men (over 4X the lower rate)

Women were most at risk of violence is they were:

In newer marriages

Young

Living in a low-income household

Living with an unemployed man

Pregnant

Disabled

Ending or thinking of ending the relationshipSlide47

Spousal Violence

These factors suggest a correlation between economic instability and domestic violence, but not causality

There is no proof that financial hardship makes people violent, but individuals in difficult financial situations are more likely to experience spousal violenceSlide48

Spousal Violence

In Canada, social and legal systems provide support for victims of domestic violence

More women report assaults to the police (increased from 29% to 37% from 1993-1999)

Suggests greater faith that the criminal justice system will protect women

There is a policy of mandatory arrest for spousal violence

Shelters and counseling services offer support for abused women and assist them in starting a new life

In cases that indicate a clear threat of future violence courts issue restraining orders forbidding contact between the perpetrator and victimSlide49

DivorceSlide50

Divorce

Divorce results from the failure of a marriage to meet the expectations of one or both marriage partners

The common perception is that divorce rates are higher than ever before and people should be concerned

In fact, divorce rates fluctuate to reflect:

The current social and moral values concerning marriage

The levels of control held by religion and state

Changes in the pattern of divorce in Canada can be explained by examining the changes in divorce law and in values related to marriageSlide51

Divorce

In the early 20

th

century, divorce was rare in Canada

In traditional marriages, the emphasis was on the economic, childrearing, and household responsibilities of marriage partners

The happiness of husband and wife was not considered

Divorce was only granted when one partner sued the other for the “matrimonial offences” or adultery or cruelty

Being divorced resulted in social embarrassmentSlide52

Divorce

The development of romantic love as the basis for marriage and the changing economic role of women altered the criteria with which partners assessed their satisfaction with their relationship

The Divorce Act of 1968 allowed divorce for “marriage breakdown” after a separation of 3 years

Subsequently the divorce rate in Canada increased dramatically

In 1986, the period of separation was reduced to one year and “no-fault” divorce was introduced

Again the divorce rate increased, then steadily declined

It’s currently estimated that about one in three marriages will end in divorceSlide53

Divorce

Divorce occurs for many reasons, such as:

Basic incompatibility of couples that chose the wrong partner (often those who divorce in first 5 years of marriage)

Failure to adjust relationship through critical transitions in marriage (often those who divorce after 5 years of marriage)

A greater risk of divorce is associated with factors that could affect compatibility, such as:

Dissimilar backgrounds

Teenage marriage

Brief courtship

Pregnant brideSlide54

Divorce

The social exchange theory suggests that when the costs of the relationship are high, or the alternatives become more attractive than the marriage, individuals may choose to divorce

Divorced people identify many “costs” as the reasons for divorce

Personal reasons, such as incompatibility, irresponsibility, or immaturity suggests the couple was unable to adjust to their married status

Other factors, such as infidelity, sexual deprivation, and cruelty, result from deterioration of commitment to the relationship and to the partnerSlide55

Divorce

The decision to divorce occurs in a 3 stage process over a 2-3 year period

Stage 1: Awareness

Phase

One individual decides to initiate divorce, often after recognizing ongoing problems and a period of denial

The partner may eventually known what’s happening but deny knowledge until confronted with a request for a divorce

The partners begin to withdraw from the relationship by shifting their energies to other rolesSlide56

Divorce

Stage 2: Separation

Phase

The couple plan the break-up of their marital system, settle child custody and financial issues, notify friends and family, and create separate households

Both partners must accept the economic realities of divorce

Stage 3: Reorganization

Phase

The two individuals establish their separate lives and negotiate their new parental roles if they have childrenSlide57

Divorce

Divorce is a non-normative event that presents individual development tasks similar to those experienced at a spouse’s death

Individuals have to accept the loss and mourn the end of the relationship

Individuals also have to redefine their identity as a single person and adjust their life structure

They also have to adjust their social relationships with family, with friends, and at work, and form a new social network

Most divorced people make a successful adjustment within a few years and many remarry, but the effects of the stress can last a lifetimeSlide58

Divorce

The economic consequences of divorce differ for men and women

Both will experience a reduced household income and a lower standard of living

The reduction in lifestyle is usually temporary for men

They have a greater earning potential and most remarry

Women have a lower earning potential and are less likely to remarry, especially if they’re older

Women who have custody of children suffer the greatest financial difficultiesSlide59

Divorce

The results of a study that traced the effects of divorce for 10 years found that:

10% of divorced people reported that their quality of life was greatly improved

20% reported that it was significantly worse

“Divorce is like an amputation; you survive but there is less of you.”

-Margaret Atwood