Class 24 May 23 2013 Today Descriptive Writing Consider this situation You want to convince a foreign visitor that Haeundae beach is a great place to visit How does this sound Haeundae ID: 432371
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Slide1
Academic writing i
Class 24
May 23, 2013Slide2
Today
Descriptive WritingSlide3
Consider this situation
You want to convince a foreign visitor that
Haeundae
beach is a great place to visit.
How does this sound?
“
Haeundae
is a fun place. It is beautiful and big. There are many people.”
Does
Haeundae
sound like a great place to visit?Slide4
Source:
busanhaps.com
Source:
www.flickr.com
Source:
members.virtualtourist.comSlide5
Descriptive Writing
Tells a story about a specific thing (object, person, place)
- Appeals to the senses: sights, sounds, smells, taste, feel
A good description is a “word picture”
- The reader can imagine the object/person/place in his or her mind.
“Shows” more than it tells.Slide6Slide7
Descriptive Paragraph: Example
Subject
: clown doll
On my dresser is a toy clown on a
unicycle- a gift I got last Christmas
from a friend. The clown’s yarn hair
covers its ears. The blue eyes are outlined
in black with eye lashes coming from
the brows. It has red cheeks, nose, andlips and its smile disappears into the ruffle around its neck. The clown wears
a nylon costume. The left side of the outfit is blue, and the right side is red.The two colors join in a line down the centerof the outfit. Around the ankles, and covering its shoes are pink bows. The white
spokes on the wheels of the unicycle gatherin the center and go to the tire so the wheel looks like the inner half of a grapefruit. The modelis 24 centimeters tall. As a gift from my friend Tran,
I see this figure every time I enter my room.Slide8
Descriptive Paragraph: Example
This description is OK.
- It gives the reader an idea about the clown, but it is lacking in
descriptive style
.Slide9
Descriptive Style
Descriptive writing requires:
- Specific details
- Adjectives:
size, color, shape, texture, smell, purpose, personality, location, etc.
- Sensations and emotions.Slide10
Descriptive Paragraph: Example
Subject
: clown doll
On my dresser is a toy clown on a
unicycle- a gift I got last Christmas
from a friend. The clown’s yarn hair
covers its ears. The blue eyes are outlined
in black with eye lashes coming from
the brows. It has red cheeks, nose, andlips and its smile disappears into the ruffle around its neck. The clown wears
a nylon costume. The left side of the outfit is blue, and the right side is red.The two colors join in a line down the centerof the outfit. Around its ankles, and covering its shoes are pink bows. The white
spokes on the wheels of the unicycle gatherin the center and go to the tire so the wheel looks like the inner half of a grapefruit. The modelis 24 centimeters tall. As a gift from my friend Tran,
I see this figure every time I enter my room.Slide11
Descriptive Paragraph: Example
Before:
On my dresser is a toy clown on a
unicycle-
a gift I got last
Christmas from
a friend.
Improved: On
one corner of my dresser sits a smiling toy clown on a tiny unicycle--a gift I
received last Christmas from a close friend.Slide12
Descriptive Paragraph: Example
Before:
The
clown’s yarn
hair covers
its ears. The blue eyes are
outlined in black with eye lashes coming fromthe brows.
Improved: The clown's short yellow hair, made of yarn, covers its ears but is parted above the eyes
. The blue eyes are outlined in black with thin, dark lashes flowing from the brows.Slide13
Descriptive Paragraph: Example
Before:
It has red cheeks, nose,
and lips
and its smile disappears into the
ruffle
around its neck.
Improved: It has cherry-red
cheeks, nose, and lips, and its broad grin disappears into the wide, white ruffle around its neck. Slide14
Descriptive Paragraph: Example
Before:
The clown
wears a
nylon costume. The left side of the
outfit
is blue, and the right side is red
. The two colors join in a line down the center of the outfit.
Improved: The clown wears a fluffy, two-tone nylon costume. The left side of the outfit is light blue, and the right side is red. The two colors
merge in a dark line that runs down the center of the small outfit.Slide15
Descriptive Paragraph: Example
Before:
Around
its
ankles, and
covering
its shoes are pink bows.
Improved: Surrounding its ankles and
disguising its long black shoes are big pink bows. Slide16
Descriptive Paragraph: Example
Before:
The
white spokes
on the wheels of the unicycle
gather in
the center and go to the tire so the wheel
looks like the inner half of a grapefruit.
Improved: The white spokes on the wheels of the unicycle gather in the center and expand to the black tire so that the wheel
somewhat resembles the inner half of a grapefruit. Slide17
Descriptive Paragraph: Example
Before:
The
model is
24 centimeters tall. As a gift from my friend
Tran, I
see this figure every time I enter my room.
Improved: The clown and unicycle together stand about
24 centimeters high. As a cherished gift from my good friend Tran,
this colorful figure greets me with a smile every time I enter my room.Slide18
Now, how about Haeundae
?
Source:
busanhaps.comSlide19
Homework
Continue brainstorming about
Haeundae
using
your directionSlide20
Source:
busanhaps.com