Two Critical Coaching Moves Blending Redirecting Coaching for Influence Blending Any behavior by which you reduce the difference between you and other people in order to meet them where they are and move to common ground ID: 215665
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Slide1
Coaching for Influence:
Two Critical Coaching Moves:
Blending
Redirecting
Slide2
Coaching for Influence:
Blending
Any behavior by which you reduce the difference between you and other people in order to meet them where they are and move to common ground.
The result is an increase in rapport.
Slide3
Coaching for Influence:
Redirecting
Any behavior by which you use that rapport to change the trajectory of that interaction.
Slide4
Coaching for Influence:
Listening to Understand
And
Speaking to be Heard
Slide5
Components of Effective Communication in Coaching
Asserting
Active Listening
IntegratingSlide6
Coaching for Influence:
Think of a satisfying communication experience:
Jot down an adjective that would describe “how you were” during that conversation.Slide7
Coaching for Influence:
Think of an unsatisfying communication experience:
Jot down an adjective that would describe “how you were” during that exchange.Slide8
Coaching for Influence:
The Problem: The Struggle to be Heard
I make an assertion.
You respond by making a counter assertion.
I reassert my original view or counter your assertion.
The communication deteriorates; frustration escalates.
You reassert your original view or counter my assertion.Slide9
Coaching for Influence:
Asserting:
Expressing views and concerns frankly in ways that minimize other’s defensivenessSlide10
Key Elements of an Assertion Statement:
Concrete Data
Grounds communication in
neutral, observable data
Feelings
Makes accessible important
subjective data
Impact
Makes clear why you think
there’s a problem
Tone of
Communicates openness
Inquiry
to hearing others’ viewsSlide11
Key Elements of an Assertion Statement:
When
(Concrete Data)
I feel
(Meaning to you)
Because
(Impact)
?
(Tone of Inquiry)
Slide12
Assertion
Expressing Concerns:
We often do not express our genuine concerns to others – we withhold them to spare their feelings or spare ourselves discomfort and the risk of candorSlide13
Assertion
A Critical Barrier:
Putting the Problem First
And not Imposing our SolutionSlide14
Assertion
Expressing Concerns:
When we do express concerns, we tend toward two extremes:
Either we are very blunt (leading others to be defensive)
Or, we are very indirect, in which case others do not get the message (and may become defensive or suspicious)Slide15
Coaching for Influence:
Aggression
Pursuing your views in ways that disregard the view of others
Submission
Sacrificing your views and interests in deference to those of others
Assertion
Pursuing your views and interests in ways that respect those of othersSlide16
Components of Effective Communication in Coaching
Asserting
Active Listening
IntegratingSlide17
Coaching for Influence:
Active Listening:
Constructing the meaning of what another person is saying in ways that encourage expression of underlying thoughts and feelingsSlide18
Active Listening
The Critical Choice:
To focus on the other person, attending carefully to what he or she says, means, wants to say , thinks and feels
OR
To focus on your message by countering what the other person says or reasserting what you have to saySlide19
Active Listening
What are you doing when you are not listening?Slide20
Active Listening
Elements of Active Listening:
Acknowledging
what you hear
Encouraging
the other person to say more
Actively exploring
his or her perspective
Testing the meaning
to the other personSlide21
Active Listening
The Critical Choice:
To focus on the other person, attending carefully to what he or she says, means, wants to say , thinks and feels
OR
To focus on your message by countering what the other person says or reasserting what you have to saySlide22
Active Listening
Techniques for Active Listening:
Reflecting
Saying back the essential meaning – key thoughts and/or feelings
Inquiring
Asking Genuine Questions and checking out interpretations
Summarizing
Periodically synthesizing and testing what you have heardSlide23
Active Listening
Ways of Reflecting:
Parroting the words (Revoicing, Backtracking, etc.)
Paraphrasing the content (Revoicing)
Reflecting back the “gist” – thoughts and feelingsSlide24
Active Listening
Ways of Reflecting:
Effort to
m
irror
w
hat
w
as
l
iterally
said
Effort to capture implicit feelings, implications
Parroting
Paraphrasing
Reflecting the “gist”Slide25
Active Listening
Ways of Reflecting:
Risk
o
f
sounding
i
nsulting
Risk of being wrong
Parroting
Paraphrasing
Reflecting the “gist”Slide26
Active Listening
Delivering Reflecting Responses
Tone
Avoid Sarcasm
Make a flat statement or use a rising inflection
Phrasing
Avoid direct questions
Common Introductions
“So you’re thinking that…”
“Sounds like you’re concerned that…”
“You feel…because…”
“I’m hearing that…”
“Let me see if I understand what you are saying…”Slide27
Coaching for Influence:
Inquiring:
Constructing the meaning of what another person is saying in ways that encourage expression of underlying thoughts and feelingsSlide28
Active Listening
Inquiring through Genuine Questions:
Kinds of QuestionsSlide29
Active Listening
Summarizing:
Provides some closure to the conversation
Makes clear the next stepsSlide30
Components of Effective Communication in Coaching
Asserting
Active Listening
IntegratingSlide31
Integrating
Integrating:
Asserting your perspective and actively listening to that of the other person in ways that lead to mutual understanding and joint problem solvingSlide32
Integrating
Steps to Integrating:
Assert your perspective
Actively Listen to the other person’s perspective by reflecting back what you hear
Actively Inquire if necessary
Make transition back to your perspective, clarifying areas of agreement and difference
Explore solutions that integrate both perspectivesSlide33
Key Elements of an Assertion Statement:
Concrete Data
Grounds communication in
neutral, observable data
Feelings
Makes accessible important
subjective data
Impact
Makes clear why you think
there’s a problem
Tone of
Communicates openness
Inquiry
to hearing others’ viewsSlide34
Key Elements of an Assertion Statement:
When
(Concrete Data)
I feel
(Meaning to you)
Because
(Impact)
?
(Tone of Inquiry)
Slide35
Coaching for Influence:
Two Critical Coaching Moves:
Blending
Redirecting
Slide36
Coaching Role Play
Triad Roles:
Teacher
Coach
Observer
Slide37
Coaching Role Play
Observer “Look Fors”
Blending
Reflecting (Parroting, Paraphrasing, and Gist)
Inquiring
Summarizing