GUIDELINES FOR PARENTS a stage in life when the slightest turn towards the wrong will spoil character Baba WORLD HEALTH ORGANISATION Adolescence The age span of 1019 years in the life of a human being ID: 597775
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COUNSELLINGGUIDELINESFOR PARENTSSlide2
“a stage in life when the slightest turn towards the wrong will spoil character” BabaWORLD HEALTH ORGANISATIONAdolescence. The age span of 10-19 years in the life of a human being…… Youth
The age span of 15-24
in the life of a human being…..Slide3Slide4
Identity CrisisAdult?? Child? ? Who am I???Slide5
Peer Group InfluenceSlide6
Economic independenceUnstable emotionsResentment of
AuthoritySlide7
Present Day challenges for parentsInfluence of Media, TV, Movies etcMoney PowerFast foodsElevation in women’s statusSlide8
Disturbing/non co operative behaviour Arguing with siblings Teasing,etc Lack of concentration/DistractionDisobedience Closed Communication
Fear/Anxiety of…..
exams
teacher
one of the parents
a bully in the class
Recognising
problem signs……Slide9
DEFINITIONS “Counselling is a process that leads to healing, growth and change.’’ (Dr .B.J.Prashantham) EMPATHYENCOURAGEMENT
EMPOWERMENT
ENRICHMENT
EDUCARE
The 5EsSlide10
“Life is listening, learning, lifting and living” BabaSlide11
BASIC LISTENING AND RESPONDINGSlide12
storySUPERFICIALPART/SELECTIVE
ATTENTIVE
LISTENINGSlide13
Communication Research(Dr Albert Mahrabian)Mehrabian -communication theory
Words-Verbal
7%
Voice-Paralinguistic 38%
Body language-55
%Slide14
THE DIVINE LISTENERSlide15
Listen to your child with full attention.Lack of communication leads to misunderstanding.Answer your child’s questions, do not avoid them This builds trust and faith Chinna
katha
dollsSlide16
RESPONDING SKILLSSlide17
GUIDELINES FOR PARENTSSlide18
Admonishing What’s wrong with you? Why have you done this?Moralising/LABELLINGYou are such a bad student.careless fellow!You should be ashamed of yourself!
Humiliating
I am disappointed in you.
I did not expect this of YOU.
Sympathising
\Sarcastic
Oh! , that’s really bad! Poor thing! You can only be
a street vendor if you don’t study
COMMUNICATION BLOCKERS
18Slide19
GUIDELINES DON’TS1.Dont advice, preach, moralise, compare2. Avoid ‘have to’, ‘should/should not’, ‘must /must not’ etcAvoid ‘why’ question as far as possible
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DO’SUse Reflective responses A. Reflection of content B. Reflection of feelings SUMMARISE!It shows understanding and EmpathySlide21
STYLES OF PARENTINGAutoritarian/AutocraticONLY LAWPermissiveToo much anuragaattachment LOVEAuthoritativeLAW+LOVE
Uninvolved
No LOVE or LAWSlide22
PERSONALITyD
O
M
A
I
N
SSlide23
Physical DevelopmentSlide24
“Do all household work as acts of worship for Him: that is more fruitful than hours of meditation,hours gained by entrusting this precious work to paid helpers.”Slide25
IntellectualDevelopment
(education/experience)
“Education is for life, not for a living”
Baba
Recent structural MRI studies have demonstrated that the brain undergoes considerable development during adolescence.Slide26
EmotionalDevelopment“Love is the undercurrent of human life;Man will be able to manifest his innate divinity only when he develops love within”
Baba
Aware of feelings/emotions
Coping with emotions
Understanding others emotions
Self conceptSlide27
Spiritual Development“Sow a seed of good thoughtReap aharvest of good actionSow a seed of good actionReap a harvest of good habit
Sow a seed of good habit
Reap a harvest of good character
Sow a seed of good character
Reap a harvest of good destiny”
Baba
Character!Slide28
Silent sitting / Guided
visualisation
Prayer/Chanting
Group Singing
Story-telling /Play acting
Group
Seva
activities
Transformation Tools
The 5 techniques
The Spiritual Tool Box
used IN
BAL VIKASSlide29
5 Relationships that make the Home 1 Spouse Bond Relationship Husband & Wife 2 Power Structure Empowerment of Family Members 3
Family Time
Activities & Customs
4
Communication
Mode of communication
within the family
5
Awareness & Connectivity
Spiritual Belief, Network
of
Friends & Relatives
Dharma
Peace
Non-Violence
Truth
LoveSlide30
1.SPOUSE BOND“UNDERSTANDING FIRST, ADJUSTMENT NEXT” Baba
LoveSlide31
2. EMPOWERMENT OF SPOUSE.“HOME IS THE DWELLING PLACE OF RIGHT CONDUCT .A HOME IS A HOME IF BOTH HUSBAND AND WIFE ARE HONOURED AND RESPECTED WITHIN IT.SUCH A HOME IS THE HAVEN OF PROSPERITY AND PEACE.”BabaSlide32
“PARENTS CAN IMPART ELEMENTS OF THEIR CULTURE AND VALUES WHEN THEY SHARE PRIME FAMILY TIME WITH CHILDREN.” BabaBAD TIMES ARE TESTING TIMES (coping skills)
PEACE
COOPERATION
,
APPRECIATION
RECREATION
SHARING
3.FAMILY TIMESlide33
4.COMMUNICATION“50% OF EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION IS LISTENING.IF YOU GIVE AN EAR TO OTHERS ,THEN OTHERS WILL GIVE AN EAR TO YOU
.”
RESPECT
, EMPATHY,
HONESTY
AWARENESS OF
OTHERS’ FEELINGSSlide34
Words!“Words can confer strength:they can drain it off.”“Power of the atom bomb” Baba Slide35
Cultural activities, functions, festivals etc sense of oneness, and belonging, connectivity-SELF AWARENESS, SPIRITUAL ACTIVITIES, PRAYER AND DEVOTION
5.AWARENESS
&
CONNECTIVITYSlide36
“Have Constructive thoughts, Consoling words, and Compassionate acts” BabaSlide37
Prayer Bedtime Quiet/homework Household Chores Family activities Allowance
Consequence
HOUSE RULES
(Routine and Boundaries)
Rules
No rules land
“Discipline is needed in every aspect to maintain the right course of life.”
Baba
Slide38
REMEMBER!Don’t label your child..Correct only the wrong behaviourLabels:You are stupidYou are foolishYou are so slowSlide39
GUIDELINES Acceptance and warmth Loving friendly approach Realistic expectations Remembering the divine connectivitySlide40
GUIDELINESFocus on ‘here and now’Immediate acknowledgement of wrong or rightAllow them to be part of family conversations, decision making…Slide41
41Self-Concept Self esteem The Empty self esteem potSlide42
OverflowingSlide43
SELF EMPOWERMENT!SELF-CONFIDENCESelf Satisfaction
Self Sacrifice
Self
RealisationSlide44Slide45
The primary responsibility of a parent is to mould the character of the child.” BabaExemplar/Role Model“BE, DO ,AND THEN TELL”Slide46
EXEMPLAR PAR EXCELLENCESlide47
THE DIVINE COUNSELLORSlide48
Baba says“Parents must feel that they are servants appointed by the Lord to tend the little souls that are born in their households, as the gardener tends the trees in the garden of the Master.”Slide49
Jai
Sai
Ram