Balancing Emotional and Cognitive Empathy:

Balancing Emotional and Cognitive Empathy: Viewing people and situations from different perspectives can lead to improved decision making and more successful outcomes.

Presented by Peter Oropeza,

psy.D

.

Learning ObjectivesParticipants will be able to:Describe the components of emotional empathy, including the strengths and weaknesses associated with this type of empathy.Articulate aspects of cognitive empathy to better understand their own thinking and identify ways to gain a better understanding of others’ perspectives. Synthesize emotional and cognitive components of empathy to improve conflicts, manage relationships, and improve decision making.  

So What is Empathy?According to Merriam-Websterthe imaginative projection of a subjective state into an object so that the object appears to be infused with itthe action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another of either the past or present without having the feelings, thoughts, and experience fully communicated in an objectively explicit manner;

Take out MerriamWebster-Dictionary.org gives you this:Empathy - understanding and entering into another's feelings

A Psychologist’s Take on Empathy “We should reexamine and reevaluate that very special way of being with another person, which we call empathic.” Carl Rogers, 1974 lecture on Empathy“being empathic is to perceive the internal frame of reference of another with accuracy and with the emotional components and meanings which pertain thereto…it means to sense the hurt or the pleasure of another as he senses it and to perceive the causes thereof as he perceives them…” Rogers, C.R. (1980). Empathic: An unappreciated way of being. In Carl Rogers, A Way of Being. Boston: Houghton Mifflin.

ExerciseFor the next minute or so, follow along this story of imagery. What was your reaction?

Where do Emotions and Feelings Come From?Emotions are a human, physiological reaction to stimuli. When we are exposed to a threat, our hearts begin to race, our mouths become dry, our skin turns pale and our muscles contract.Think of an example in your life when you were exposed to some kind of threat. Feelings, to not complicate things too much, are related to our interpretation of that emotional state.

Emotional Intelligence Emotional Intelligence is the capacity for recognizing our own feelings and the feelings of others, for motivating ourselves and for managing emotions well in ourselves and in others

Development of Emotional IntelligenceMayer and SaloveyThe concept of emotional intelligence was studied by John Mayer, PhD (professor of psychology at the University of New Hampshire) and Peter Salovey, PhD (professor at Yale University). Drs. Mayer and Salovey first published a 1990 article defining emotional intelligence as “the ability to monitor one’s own and others’ feelings and emotions, to discriminate among them and to use this information to guide one’s thinking and actions.”

Daniel GolemanDaniel Goleman, PhD, in his best selling book, Emotional Intelligence: Why it Can Matter More than IQ (1996), was a New York Times best seller and popularized the concept of emotional intelligence and its application in a wide variety of environmentsGoleman’s next book titled Working with Intelligence (1998) outlines the concepts of emotional intelligence and the effective application of its concepts in the workplace. His work in the book Social Intelligence (2006) expands on these concepts.

The Case for Emotional and Social IntelligenceAccording to Goleman, individuals who can demonstrate technical expertise as well as emotional and social competence, bring to the table the ability to truly motivate and engage their workforce.

The Social/Emotional Competence FrameworkAccording to Daniel Goleman emotional competence involves our ability to manage ourselves, and our ability to manage others as follows:Emotional Intelligence (Personal Competence): How we manage ourselvesSelf-Awareness: Knowing one’s internal states, preferences, resources and intuitionsSelf-Regulation/Management: Managing one’s internal states, impulses and resourcesSocial Intelligence (Social Competence): How we handle relationshipsSocial Awareness: Cognitive and emotional empathySocial/Relationship Management: Concern and influence

Emotional Intelligence (Personal Competence)Self Awareness involves:Truly knowing and understanding your internal state of emotions and triggersSelf Regulation involves:Managing your internal emotional states and impulses

Cognitive EmpathyUnderstanding others perspective Listening and asking questions

Social Intelligence (Social Competence)Social AwarenessEmotional EmpathySensing others’ emotions, taking active interest in their concernsCognitive EmpathyUnderstanding others perspective Listening and asking questions

Social Intelligence (Social Competence)Social and Relationship ManagementUsing emotional competence and social awareness to: Effectively interact with other in a non-verbal wayPresent yourself effectively and establish rapportAct accordingly to others needsInspirational leadershipGuiding and motivating with a clear and compelling message (vision)

Benefits of EQ in InstitutionsInspirational leadershipGuiding and motivating with a clear and compelling message (vision)InfluenceWielding a range of tactics for persuasionDeveloping othersBolstering others’ abilities through feedback and guidance. Feedback should focus on the behavior and the impact of the behaviorConflict managementManage conflict to a good and productive resolutionBuilding bondsCultivating, teaching, and maintain quality relationships

EmpathyEmpathy is the extent to which one has the ability to understand and accept another’s feelings and emotions and intelligently use that understanding to forge stronger interpersonal relationships and make better decisionsAccording to Goleman, empathy-one of the basic components of emotional intelligence- is a critical part of social awareness, and, as such, the key to successful relations in life

Bias1. Prejudice in favor of or against one thing, person, or group compared with another, usually in a way considered to be unfair.2. A bias may be favorable or unfavorable: bias in favor of or against an idea or opinion.

Is Bias Real?Biases are often not conscious in our everyday thinking but affect how we:Feel Think Act

Biases Have Real ImpactIn 2014, high school graduation rates were 87% for white versus 73% for black students One study found that white teachers gave more critical feedback to white students than black students. Any thoughts as to the reason?One study found implicit bias can affect teaching/presentation styles of white teachers when teaching to black students. Black students were 54% less likely to be recommended for gifted-education programs.Being black, male, and looking older than your classmates are 3 factors that make a child more likely to be kicked out of preschool.

10 Common Cognitive Distortions All or nothing thinking: You look at things in absolute, black and white categoriesOvergeneralization: You view a negative event as a never-ending pattern of defeatMental Filter: You dwell on the negatives and ignore the positives.Discounting the positives: You insist that your accomplishments or positive qualities “don’t count.” Jumping to conclusions: (A) Mind Reading- You assume people are reacting negatively even without evidence; (B) Fortune Telling- You arbitrarily predict things will turn out badlyMagnification or Minimization: You blow things way out of proportion or you shrink their importance inappropriately

10 Common Cognitive Distortions Emotional Reasoning: You reason from how you feel: “I feel like an idiot, so I really must be one.” or “I feel like that person is an idiot; therefore, they really must be one.” “Should” Statements: You criticize yourself or other people with “should” or “Shouldn’ts” or “Musts” or “Oughts” Labeling: You identify with your or others shortcomings. Instead of saying, “I made a mistake” you tell yourself “I’m a loser.” Or, instead of saying “He made a mistake” you may tell yourself “He is a loser.” Personalization or Blame: You blame yourself for something you weren’t entirely responsible for, or you blame other people and overlook ways that your own attitudes and behavior might contribute to a problem.

10 Ways to Untwist Your Thinking1.Identify the DistortionWrite down your negative thoughts so you can see which of the ten cognitive distortions you’re involved in. This will make it easier to think about the problem in a more positive and realistic way.

2.

Examine

the Evidence

Instead

of assuming that your negative thought is true, examine the actual evidence for it. For Example, if you feel that you never do anything right, you could list several things you have done successfully.

3.

The Double-Standard

Method

Instead of putting yourself down

, talk to yourself in a compassionate way.

4.

The Experimental Technique

Test

your, and/or others, negative thinking.

5.

Thinking in

Shades of Grey

Think of failures

as partial successes rather than complete failures. Don’t think in extremes of 1 or 10 but rather in shades

6.

The Survey Method

Ask people questions to find out if your thoughts and attitudes are realistic.

7.

Define Terms

Rather

than label someone as “inferior” ask your self to define “inferior.”

8.

The Semantic Method

Instead of using “Always” replace the word with “sometimes.”

9.

Re-attribution

Instead of assuming

things are “bad,” think about factors that have contributed to it. Focus on solving the problem rather than blaming.

10.

Cost-Benefit

Analysis

List advantages and disadvantages

of a feeling, negative thought, or a behavior pattern.

10 Ways to Untwist Your Thinking

Interventions to Reduce Bias Research provides some examples of how to reduce bias….# 1?Support staff!!!! As one program illustrated, coaching regularly via video and practice exercises on how to effectively interact and discipline consistently. Staff need assistance in not offering “false“ praise. Equal opportunity for students to be involved in gifted programs Diversity of staff Administrative support and training as well.

Making a Difference in the Lives of Staff and Students

QUESTIONS?