The Center on the Social and Emotional Foundations for - PDF document

The Center on the Social and Emotional Foundations for Early Learning Vanderbilt University vanderbilt.edu/csefel arrived at their grandmotherÕs house for the day. Evenmonths now, Damon cries and cries when his mother leaves.is pulling on her GrannyÕs arm. She wants to play with herdoll stroller but it is in the closet and she canÕt turn the knob.She is not happy about waiting for her grandmotherÕsattention. Karenna swats her little brother, stamps her feet,Would you be feeling a little frustrated with one or maybe Young children experience many of the same emotions adultsdo. Children can feel angry, jealous, excited, sad, silly,frustrated, happy, and worried. The difference is that veryexample, Damon cried to show how difficult itwas saying good-bye to his mother. Big sisterwaiting and her desire for the doll stroller. GREENSPANÕS FIVE ESSENTIAL Does This Sound Familiar? The Center on the Social and Emotional Foundations for Early Learning Vanderbilt University vanderbilt.edu/csefel most of their time sleeping, spitting up, or dropping strained carrots off the side of the high chair. However, these early yeaare a critical time of learning for babies and toddlers. They are developing a foundation of social-emotional skills that theypracticing at different ages. You can use this information to track how your child is growing and changing from birth to age 3.in All the Sensations of theWorldStage Two:Stage ThreeBecoming a Two-WayYour baby is:¥ learning how to be calm, how to accept soothing andcomfort from a loved caregiver.¥ learning to feel secure and interested in the world around¥ trying to organize the information he is receiving from hisYour baby is:¥ becoming more focused on parents and other persons and¥ expressing emotional reactions of her own (e.g., smiles and¥ expressing pleasure in othersÕcompany.Your baby is:¥ purposefully using gestures (facial expressions, actions, and¥ responding to othersÕgestures with gestures of his own.¥ realizing that he can use sounds and gestures to get hisYour baby is:¥ learning to solve problems, like how to stack blocks in atower.¥ communicating in increasingly complex ways, using¥ learning what to expect from others, based on interactions¥ developing a sense of self.Your toddler is:¥ becoming skilled in symbolic thought (e.g., labeling images¥ using verbal means to communicate needs and desires.¥ engaging in pretend play.¥ learning to recognize and communicate her feelings.¥ learning to understand othersÕfeelings. GREENSPANÕS ESSENTIALDEVELOPMENTALSTAGESDevelopmental GoalAge RangeWhatÕs Happening? 1 2 3 4 5(Greenspan 1999) What to Expect: Social and Emotional Skills Keep yourbaby close. music, pick up your baby, and gently sway to the beat.Gaze into your babyÕs eyes, smile at her, and hold her nextto your body. Leave the infant carrier in the car sometimesRead ortell stories about feelings.like frustration, anger, pride, and joy. As you read, point tothe faces in the book and say, ÒShe looks excited. He lookssurprised.Ó As your child grows, you can ask: ÒWho is sadon this page?Ó When he is able to talk, you can ask, ÒHowthat show a range of emotions. You can also use familyher look at the picture for as long as sheÕd like. Talk aboutHe is sad.Ó Or, ÒThat baby is laughing. He is happy to playwith his puppy.Óbabies really enjoy peek-a-boo. Label your babyÕs feelingsas you play: ÒUh oh, whereÕs Mommy? Here I amÑPeek-a-boo! Are you surprised? Are you happy to findaway, but I come back.Ó play in helping children learn about feelings. The mostimportant thing they can do is meet their babiesÕneeds, lovebiggest and most important ingredient for a childÕs healthyexpress them. These are all good habits to develop whileThink about yourchildÕs temperament, Temperament influences how intensely your childeasily she can calm down. Achild who has strong feelingsand more overwhelming to her. On the other hand, a childÒroll off her backÓ will probably have an easier time.Think about your own temperament. There is no ÒrightÓor ÒwrongÓ way to be. But paying attention to your ownand your childÕs temperament gives you importantinformation about each of your preferences.You can learnchildÕs needs and help her grow and learn. Talk about feelings. will probably not understand when you say, ÒI can seeor ÒYou are so sad that your balloon flew away.Ó It mightchild learn to identify and describe his emotions. Whenhe will eventually come to understand what you mean. Asyour childÕs language skills develop, he will start to useBe a role model forexpressing strong feelings inhow to manage strong feelings and recover. And whenyou are having a hard time, itÕs okay to make sure yourminutes to calm down. You are modeling self-control and The Center on the Social and Emotional Foundations for Early Learning Vanderbilt University vanderbilt.edu/csefel Look in the mirror.Babies donÕt really know itÕs them inmaking baby-safe mirrors part of your play. As the two ofyou look at your reflections, point to your smile and say,ÒI am so happy. I am happy because I love being hereWatch to see how yourchild responds to sounds andtextures. Use different sounds (rattles, toy pianos,piece of sandpaper, etc.) during playtime with your baby.Watch how your child responds. What does he like?playtime (does he cry, look away, fall asleep, etc.)?Help yourchild recoverwhen feelings getYou can try swaddling, or snugly wrapping your baby inover age 1, a cuddly stuffed animal or special blanket canalone to calm down? Afirm hug or cuddle time, a changeof scenery, a chance to jump up and down, or somephysical play can also help toddlers recover. When youKnow that yourbaby senses how you are feeling.around them. They know when you are upset, angry,to hide it. They can feel your arms holding themdifferently when you are stressed and they are able tosad. So itÕs very important to take care of yourself so that From 18 Monthsto 2 YearsUse pretend play as a chance toYour young toddler is just beginning toplay pretend. You can help her develop this important skillby using a doll or stuffed animal in your play. Ask yourWhat can we do to make Doggie feel better?Ó This helpsyour child think about othersÕfeelings, a quality calledÒempathy.Ó Toddlers lovesome photos of your child when he is happy, silly, tired,cardboard. Write a feeling word under the photo, punchYour childÕs languageis just beginning to take off, so give her a fun way topractice by changing the words to songs like ÒWhen YouÕreHappy and You Know It.Ó Try adding new verses like,ÒWhen youÕre sad and you know it, get a hug,Ó ÒWhenyouÕre cranky and you know it, find your Teddy,Ó etc. Make a cozy place in yourhome.space to do this by piling up some soft cushions andblankets, and adding a few stuffed animals and favoritestories. You can even get a large moving box, cut a door,and create a toddler-size Òcozy room.Ó Encourage your childSuggest ways to manage strong emotions.We often tellhittingÓ). Telling toddlers what they can do to express bigfeelings is even more important. When your child is reallyangry, suggest that she jump up and down, hit the sofacushions, rip paper, cuddle up in a cozy area for alone time,is appropriate. The goal is to teach your child that anyfeelings in healthy, non-hurtful ways.Empathize with yourchildÕs feelings.choices your child is being offered are not the ones he wants.itÕs best to stay matter-of-fact when you explain: ÒI know that We all feel stressed and overwhelmed at times.gets rough. You might try asking a trusted adult to watch yourexercising; writing in a journal; talking to a friend, counselor, orhome visitor; or connecting with other parents. When you are aparent, it can be easy to forget that you need to be nurtured, The Center on the Social and Emotional Foundations for Early Learning Vanderbilt University vanderbilt.edu/csefel you do not want theshot. You are feelingshot keeps you healthy.too much. And it will beover with very quickly.Óand, hopefully, move on. Help yourchild understand her. When you canmake connections between your childÕshard time moving between activities, ÒItÕs hard for you toget ready for nap right after we finish lunch. Your bodyyou settle down and start to feel sleepy. LetÕs choose astory and get cozy.Ó Over time this helps your child learnto manage situations that are challenging for her. Plan fortantrums.Tantrums are veryTantrums are their way ofRather than getting angry, too (which isyour child recover. HereÕs what you can try:1. Put into words how you think your child is feeling: ÒYouare really mad. You are so frustrated!Ó2. Give him a way to show his strong feelings: ÒDo you3. Give him the support he needs (hugs, time alone, histeddy, etc.) to recover. 4. Suggest another activity to shift his energy to somethingpositive: ÒLetÕs play with blocks.Ó 5.And, as hard as it is sometimes, try to stay calm duringyour childÕs tantrums. You teach your child self-control bystaying calm when he has Òlost it.Ó This helps him feelOfferchoices.can help them cope with disappointment. You might say, ÒItduring a tantrum, you might say, ÒI can see you need to cryright now. Would you like me to hold you or do you want toUnderstanding feelings is an important part of a childÕs social-just like you do, and know when you are feeling happy or downas well. When you use words to describe emotions, share inemotional skills. This learning takes a lot of practice on theirpart, and a lot of patience on yours. But the time and effort areworth it. The social-emotional skills children develop in the firstReference:Greenspan, S. (with Breslau Lewis, N.). (1999). Buildinghealthy minds: The six experiences that create intelligence and emotionalgrowth in babies and young children. aggressive play. But this is very typical for the toddler years.feelings, even difficult ones like anger, frustration, or fear.Watching children as they play, and playing with them, helps youunderstand what they are thinking about or struggling with. Youyou are worried about your childÕs play, talk withyour childÕs health care provider, teacher orcaregiver, or a child developmentWe often think only of teaching wordsfor common emotions like happy,many, many other feelingexperience every day.and experiencing. While babies andtoddlers wonÕt understand these words right away, over timeWorried Foundations for Early Learning Child Care BureauOffice of Safe