Think WinWin Dr Kanwal Kaisser Habit 4 in Our Paradigms Feeling Thoughts Behavior Think WinWin Paradigms of Interdependence Private Victory proceeds Public Victory No Short Cuts Cant jump to effective relationships without the maturity strength of character ID: 485536
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Slide1
Habit 4Think Win-Win
Dr. Kanwal KaisserSlide2Slide3
Habit 4 in Our Paradigms
Feeling
Thoughts
Behavior
Think Win-WinSlide4
Paradigms of Interdependence
Private Victory proceeds Public VictorySlide5
No Short Cuts
Can’t jump to effective relationships without the maturity, strength of character
You simply have to travel the road
You can’t be successful with other people, if you haven’t paid the price of success with yourselfSlide6
Quick Fix Slide7
You can’t have Fruits without RootsSlide8
Entering whole new dimension Slide9
Measure each wordSlide10
مَّا يَلْفِظُ مِن قَوْلٍ إِلَّا لَدَيْهِ رَقِيبٌ عَتِيدٌ
)Qaaf:18(
Abu
Hurayrah
(may Allah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allah
ﷺ said: A salve (of Allah) may utter a word which pleases Allah without giving it much importance and due to that Allah will raise him to degrees. A salve (of Allah) may utter a word which displeases Allah without
thinking of its gravity and due to that he will be thrown into the hell fire.” (Bukhari)Slide11
Principles of Interpersonal Leadership
Is the problem People or Paradigm??Slide12
Success of one means failure of othersSlide13
Flawed Paradigm
Trying to get fruits of cooperation from competition
Think Win-WinSlide14
All accountable of own deeds
إِنَّمَا يُبْعَثُ النَّاسُ عَلَى
نِيَّاتِهِمْ
It was narrated from Abu
Hurairah
that the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said:“People will be resurrected (and judged) according to their intentions.
” (Ibn majah)Slide15
Six Paradigms of Human Interaction
Philosophy of Human InteractionSlide16
WIN
Don
’
t necessarily want anyone else to lose
They get what they wantSecuring his own end, leaving others to feel secure theirsSlide17
Win-Lose
Authoritarian approach
Prone to use position, power, credentials, possessions or personality to get their way
Love is conditional
Everything is extrinsically definedPeople graded in relation to other people
Dysfunctional mentality for cooperation Slide18
Lose/Win
No standard, no demands, no expectations, no vision
Quick to please or appease
Seek strength from popularity or acceptance
Little courage to express their own feelings Win/Lose people feed on Lose/Win ones
Bury a lot of feelingsSlide19
Lose/Lose
When two determined, stubborn, ego-invested individuals interact
Both vindictive and want to ‘get even’
Blind to fact that revenge is two-edge sword
Philosophy of war‘If nobody ever wins, perhaps being a loser isn’t so bad.’Slide20
Win-Win
Mutual benefit in all interaction
Mutual satisfaction
All parties feel good about decision
All feel committed to action planThere is plenty for everyone
One person success is not achieved at the expense or exclusion of the success of othersSlide21Slide22
Win or Loose Activity
Not your way or my way but it’s
better
way, a high way!Slide23
Which Option is Best?
No DealSlide24
Win/Win
Agree to disagree agreeably
No expectations have been created
Feel liberated as no need to manipulate anyone
‘I want to win, and I want you to win.’Slide25
Five Dimensions of Win-Win
Lets not do it your way or my way; Lets do it best way!Slide26
Think……
Think of a situation which is win-lose
What could the people do to make this situation win-win?
What win-win attitude is required?Slide27Slide28
Situations
Character
Relationship
Performance
Reward
Process
With Husband
With parents/
Inlaws
With Kids
With
Colleague Slide29
Character
Integrity : Habit 1,2,3: Self-Awareness
Maturity: Balance between courage and consideration
Abundance Mentality: Plenty for everyone Slide30Slide31
Situations
Character
Relationship
Performance
Reward
Process
With Husband1-10 scale
Take help from habit 1,2,3
Balance Courage
vs
Consideration
Abundance Mentality
With parents/
Inlaws
With Kids
With
Colleague Slide32Slide33
Relationships
Emotional Bank Account and trust
Without trust, we compromise only
Without trust, we lack credibility
With trust, we put cards on table, even when we see things different With trust, negative energy is eliminated Slide34
Situations
Character
Relationship
Performance
Reward
Process
With Husband1-10 scale
Take help from habit 1,2,3
Balance Courage
vs
Consideration
Abundance Mentality
Understand
other person perspective
What can you do to make it win win
With parents/
Inlaws
With Kids
With
Colleague Slide35Slide36
Agreements
Give definition and direction to win/win
Desired results: what is to be done and when
Guidelines: parameters within which result has to be accomplished
Resources: Human, technology, financial
Accountability: Standard and timeConsequences: good or bad, natural or logical Slide37
Situations
Character
Relationship
Performance
Reward
Process
With Husband1-10 scale
Take help from habit 1,2,3
Balance Courage
vs
Consideration
Abundance Mentality
Understand
other person perspective
What can you do to make it win win
Do I really want to improve?
Abundance
vs
scarcity mentality
Result of win-lose
Benefits of win win
With parents/
Inlaws
With Kids
With
Colleague Slide38Slide39
Rewards System
System has to support it
You get what you reward
Align with goals and valuesSlide40
Situations
Character
Relationship
Performance
Reward
Process
With Husband1-10 scale
Take help from habit 1,2,3
Balance Courage
vs
Consideration
Abundance Mentality
Understand
other person perspective
What can you do to make it win win
Do I really want to improve?
Abundance
vs
scarcity mentality
Result of win-lose
Benefits of win win
Desired result
Should and should not’s
Resources
Consequences
With parents/
Inlaws
With Kids
With
Colleague Slide41Slide42
Situations
Character
Relationship
Performance
Reward
Process
With Husband1-10 scale
Take help from habit 1,2,3
Balance Courage
vs
Consideration
Abundance Mentality
Understand
other person perspective
What can you do to make it win win
Do I really want to improve?
Abundance
vs
scarcity mentality
Result of win-lose
Benefits of win win
Desired result
Should and should not’s
Resources
Consequences
Key issues and concerns
Acceptable solution
Possible new options
With parents/
Inlaws
With Kids
With
Colleague Slide43Slide44
Lessons on win/win
Hare and TortoiseSlide45
I’m the fastest
runner.
That’s not true.
The fastest runner is
me!Slide46
Ok, let’s have
a race.
Fine!Slide47
Poor guy! Even if I take a nap, he could not catch up with me.Slide48Slide49Slide50
Loose-WinSlide51
The
Story Continues
…
Season 2Slide52
soul
-
searching
Lost: overconfident
, careless and
lax
Why did I lose the race?Slide53
Can we have
another race?
Ok.Slide54
Win- LooseSlide55
But the story doesn't end here …
Season 3Slide56
How can I can win the hare?Slide57
Sure!
Can we have another race? This time we’ll go through a different route.Slide58
GoalSlide59
What should I do?
Loose-LooseSlide60
The story still hasn't ended …
Season 4Slide61Slide62
Hi, buddy. How
about doing our last
race again?
Great! I think we could do it much better, if we two help each other.
Hi, buddy. How
about doing our last
race again?Slide63Slide64Slide65
Win-WinSlide66
Check the items you do 90% of time
Actions consistent
with your promises, values and emotions?
Courage
and consideration for the ideas and feelings of self and
othersDo you have an abundance mentality? Believe people are doing their very best and they deserve respect, consideration and kindnessYou listen intently to other people’s
position You communicate clear expectationsYou focus on the positive but provide constructive feedback on potential improvement areasSlide67
To get in touch….
Dr. Kanwal Kaisser
Dr. Kanwal Kaisser @
HamarayBachchay
hbheadoffice@gmail.com