EMOTIONALLY HEALTHY SPIRITUALITY: - PowerPoint Presentation

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EMOTIONALLY HEALTHY SPIRITUALITY: - PPT Presentation

SLOWING DOWN TO BE WITH GOD Pete Scazzero North Central District Evangelical Free wwwemotionallyhealthyorg April 1920 2010 SESSION 1 INTRODUCTION AND LEADERSHIP IN THE NEW FAMILY OF JESUS ID: 274059

god emotionally church healthy emotionally god healthy church sabbath life leadership jesus pete family events 2010 lord scazzero february

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Slide1

EMOTIONALLY HEALTHY SPIRITUALITY:

SLOWING DOWN TO BE WITH GOD

Pete Scazzero

North Central District Evangelical Free

www.emotionallyhealthy.org

April 19-20, 2010Slide2

SESSION 1

INTRODUCTION AND

LEADERSHIP IN THE NEW FAMILY

OF JESUSSlide3

I. Our Journey of Four ConversionsSlide4

Becoming a Christian - Our StorySlide5

Iceberg Model

What Lies Beneath The SurfaceSlide6
Slide7
Slide8

B. Emotional Health: Conversion Two

Emotional Health

and

Spiritual Maturity

are

Inseparable

It is not possible to be spiritually mature while remaining emotionally immature.Slide9

Different Parts/Components of Who We AreSlide10

As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said. But

Martha

was

distracted

by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, "Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!" "Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are

worried

and

upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.“ (Luke 10:38-42)C. Contemplative Spirituality:

Conversion ThreeSlide11

Balancing Activity and Contemplation

Martha

–

Active, working for Jesus, but missing Him.

Mary

–

Sitting at the Lord’s feet in contemplation

Knowing Jesus, being

with Jesus.

Slide12

Contemplation

(Being w/ God)

Activity

Your LifeSlide13

Contemplation

(Being w/ God)

Activity

Your LifeSlide14

D. Slowing Down to Lead with Integrity: Conversion FourSlide15

Hard Lessons Learned

Integrity:

With God

With Yourself

With Your Marriage

With Your LeadershipSlide16

Emotionally Healthy Spirituality

Components

EMOTIONALLY HEALTHY

MARRIAGES

(AND SEXUALITY)

EMOTIONALLY HEALTHY

SKILLS

EMOTIONALLY HEALTHY DISCIPLESHIP

(SLOW DOWN

TO BE WITH GOD)

CONTEMPLATIVE

SPIRITUALITY

EMOTIONALLY HEALTHY

LEADERSHIPSlide17

SESSION 2

GOING BACK IN ORDER TO

GO FORWARDSlide18

Joseph’s Family Tree

Name meaning “fruitful in land of suffering”

Name meaning

“fruitful in land of suffering”Slide19

Two Biblical Principles

A. The Blessing and Sins of Our Families Have Impact Lasting for at Least Three to Four Generations. Slide20

Ex. 34:6-8 Moses asks to see God’s glory “And he passed in front of Moses, proclaiming, “The Lord, The Lord, the compassionate and gracious God…Yet he does not leave the guilty unpunished;

he punishes the children for the sin of the fathers to the third and fourth generation.

Ex. 20:4-6 You shall not make for yourself an idol… for I am a jealous God,

punishing the children for the sin of the fathers to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, but showing love to a thousand generations of those who love me and keep my commandments.

2 Kings. 10:30 Because you have done well in accomplishing what is right in my eyes…,

your descendents will sit on my throne in Israel to the fourth generation (Jehu).

2 Sam. 12:10 (Bathsheba)

Now therefore the sword will never depart from your house

because you despised me and took the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be your own. Slide21

Two Biblical Principles

A. The Blessing and Sins of Our Families Have Impact Lasting for at Least Three to Four Generations.

B. Becoming a Christian is to be Birthed into a New Family and a New Culture; Discipleship is the Process of Putting off our Sinful Patterns of our Family of Origin.Slide22

God’s Family

Scazzero’s

Ariola’sSlide23

Narcissistic,

Emotionally Abusive

Clinically depressed

“Take care of Me”

Womanizer

Abusive

Italian Immigrants

Love of Music

Love of Education

Dominant

Passive

Driven

Physically Abusive

Absent

DIED YOUNG

Conflicted Marriage

No Intimacy

Inferiority complex

Wasted lives

Trapped

Emotionally ABANDONED

Emotionally Abandoned,

Inferiority Complex

Trapped

Fear of Abandonment

“Take care of Others”

Driven

Conflicted

No intimacy

Stable

Earthquake Events

Cousin with Down Syndrome

Cousin killed in Vietnam 1968

Brother joins Unification

Church (declared dead)

_________________

Themes

Abandonments

Cut-offs

Overworking

Unhappy Marriages

______________Slide24

Joe

Frances

AUNT

UNCLE

Pete

Earthquake Events

Themes

Slide25

Workaholic

Physically Abusive

Love for Music & Education

Conflicted ~ Stable ~ No Intimacy

___________

Earthquake Events

Themes

___________

___________Slide26

Workaholic

Physically Abusive

Love for Music & Education

Conflicted ~ Stable ~ No Intimacy

___________

Earthquake Events

Themes

___________

___________Slide28

Workaholic

Physically Abusive

Love for Music & Education

Conflicted ~ Stable ~ No Intimacy

___________

Earthquake Events

Themes

___________

___________Slide29

Workaholic

Physically Abusive

Love for Music & Education

Conflicted ~ Stable ~ No Intimacy

___________

Earthquake Events

Themes

___________

___________Slide30

Workaholic

Physically Abusive

Love for Music & Education

Conflicted ~ Stable ~ No Intimacy

___________

Earthquake Events

Themes

___________

___________Slide31

Workaholic

Physically Abusive

Love for Music & Education

Conflicted ~ Stable ~ No Intimacy

“

THE CARETAKER

”

___________

Earthquake Events

Themes

___________

Abandonments

Cut-offs

Overworking

Unhappy Marriages

______________

Cousin with Down Syndrome

Cousin killed in Vietnam 1968

Brother joins Unification Church (declared dead)

_________________Slide32

Groups of 2-3

Answer questions 8 and 9 (on page 6) from constructing your genogram sheet.

Slide33
Slide34

Applications: Going Back to Go Forward

1. Become Aware of Your Family Commandments

Are you living in your “father’s” house or your “Father’s” house?

Slide35

Applications: Going Back to Go Forward

1. Awareness of Your Family Commandments

2. Experience the Transforming Power of the GospelSlide36

Gospel

1. We believe

2. Christ accepts us totally, absolutely

3. We obey

Gospel vs. Legalism

Works Righteousness

We believe

2. We obey

Christ accepts us totally, absolutelySlide37

God treats you as if you have done everything Jesus has done

God loves you the way He loves Jesus

God is the same today, yesterday, and 100 million years from now

Gospel is to rely on Christ’s record for your relationship with God

The GospelSlide38

Sample Scripts from Our Family of Origin

Don’t be you.

You’ll never amount to anything.

Don’t make mistakes.

Be quiet and obey.

Don’t assert yourself.

Don’t ask for what you want or need.

Don’t feel.

Don’t trust.

Don’t be weak or vulnerable.

Slide39

God’s New Script for Us

It is good that you exist.

You are loveable.

You are good enough.

You are a joy.

You have nothing left to prove.

Your needs are a delight.

You are allowed to make mistakes.Slide40

Applications: Going Back to Go Forward

3. The Process of Going Back to Go Forward Never Ends.

Slide41

Applications: Going Back to Go Forward

4. New Skills are Needed to Create Healthy Church Community

Slide42

Applications: Going Back to Go Forward

5. Be Aware of Emotional Triggers and Allergies

An emotional allergy is a reaction to something in the present that reminds us of something similar to the past.Slide43

5a Your Church and Denomination has a Genogram Slide44

. Differentiation and Personal Integrity

A. Working Definition:

Remaining connected to people and yet not having your reaction or behavior determined by them. My primary task, like Jesus, is to calmly differentiate my “true self” from the demands and voices around me, discerning the desires, vision, pace, and mission the Father has given me.

Slide45

B. Differentiation Scale

0…….…25……...…50…….….75…..…..100Slide46

C. Four Qualities of Differentiation

Clear sense of self in close proximity to others

Self-regulate anxiety and self-soothe hurts

Non-reactive to others’ anxieties

Tolerate discomfort for growthSlide47

Applications of Differentiation

Good Leadership – Thinking Clearly, Value Driven

2. Anxiety/Need for “Other Validation” = No LeadershipSlide48

Applications of Differentiation

Good Leadership – Thinking Clearly, Value Driven

2. Anxiety/Need for “Other Validation” = No Leadership

3. Differentiation at Home and at Church are Closely RelatedSlide49

SESSION 3

CONTEMPLATIVE SPIRITUALITY: SLOWING DOWN TO BE WITH GODSlide50

Present Day Reality of Many in Our Churches:

Living off others’ spirituality (no time)

Life on the run

Scattered, fragmented, un-centered, overloaded, distracted

Mostly head not heart experience of Jesus

A one-inch-deep spirituality

Not really praying very much

Not very intentional in pursuing Jesus

State of partial inattention

Exhausted

Marked by Frenzied Busyness Slide51

Contemplation

(Being w/ God)

Activity

Your LifeSlide52

Contemplation

(Being w/ God)

Activity

Your LifeSlide53

ONE HOLY CATHOLIC AND APOSTOLIC CHURCH

Roman Catholic Church

Orthodox Church

Pentecost

325

Ecumenical

Council and the Nicene

Creed

1054

Great Schism

Of East and West

New

Testament

Era

Seven Ecumenical Councils

Martin Luther’s

Reformation

Begins

1517

Church of

England

1529

Protestant Churches

Adapted from “

Becoming Orthodox: A Journey to the Ancient Christian Faith

, GillepsieSlide54

2. The Desert Fathers for TodaySlide55

1. The Daily Office

(Fixed Hour Prayer)

OFFICES

(opus)

= work of God

-- My work in life first is to seek God.

Ps. 27:4 Slide56

David

Seven times a day

do I praise you.

Ps. 119:164

It is good to praise the Lord…

To proclaim your love

in the morning,

And your faithfulness at night

Ps. 92:2

Evening, morning and noon

I cry out in distress

And he hears my voice.

Ps. 55:17Slide57

Daniel

“Daniel went home to his upstairs room where the windows opened toward Jerusalem. Three times a day he got down on his knees and prayed, giving thanks to God, just as he had done before.”

Dan. 6:10Slide58

Sabbath

= to stop for a 24-hour period each week

Slide59

Ten Commandments (Ex.20)

1. You shall have no other gods before me

2. You shall not make for yourself an idol.

3. You shall not misuse the name of the Lord your God.

4. Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy.

Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is a Sabbath to the Lord our God. On it you shall not do any work,...

For in six days the Lord made the heavens and the earth, the sea and all that is in them, but he rested on the seventh day. Therefore the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy”

5. Honor your father and your mother.

6. You shall not murder

7. You shall not commit adultery.

8. You shall not steal.

9. You shall not give false witness.

10. You shall not covet. Slide60

Receive the Gift of Sabbath

Sabbath

–

( Hebrew:

SHABAT)

stop

rest

delight

contemplate

for a 24-hour period each week. Slide61

4 Qualities to Biblical Sabbath:

Stop

Rest

Slide62
Slide63

4 Qualities to Biblical Sabbath:

work

hurry

multitasking

anxiety/worry

catching up errands

“have to’s” and “shoulds”

Stopping

Resting from: Slide64

4 Qualities to Biblical Sabbath:

Stop

Rest

Delight

Slide65

4 Qualities to Biblical Sabbath:

Stop

Rest

Delight

Contemplate

Slide66

ome of our Sabbath Resources…

This and more available on our website, book table,

& in the Shell RoomSlide67

Small Groups

What questions am I holding?

Decide on a possible 24-hour period each week.

Reflect on the following questions:

What do I need to

stop

that relates to my work—paid and unpaid?

What activities create

rest

and

delight

for me?

How can I structure a Sabbath to help me see God’s goodness and miracles all around me?Slide68

FAQ’s

How do I go about deciding what specific activities are acceptable and unacceptable on the Sabbath?

Isn’t Jesus our Sabbath-rest? Is this another works-righteousness?

How do I cease from the work of parenting?

What do I about my children who aren’t interested in Sabbath?

What about sports and extra-curricular activities your children may be involved in?

What do I do about my tendency to perfectionism? Slide69

Developing Your Own Personal

Rule of LifeSlide70

“RULE” of LIFE

from Greek word “TRELLIS”

a framework or structure to help enable us continually to pay attention to GodSlide71

RULE OF LIFESlide72

RULE OF LIFE

PRAYER

e.g. Sabbath

Church

Retreats

Offices (Major and Minor Offices)

Slide73

THE BLIZZARD…..Slide74

PRAYER

Scripture

Silence and Solitude

Daily Office

Study

REST

Sabbath

Simplicity

Play and Recreation

ACTIVITY

Service and Mission

Care for the Physical Body

RELATIONSHIPS

Emotional Health

Family

Community

(companions for your journey)Slide75

Complete the following….

As a result of our time together, I am beginning to realize….Slide76

D. Final Applications

Pastoral Staff Rule of Life

New Life Fellowship Rule of Life

Adjusting to Make Space for God, Ourselves and Our MarriagesSlide77

SESSION 4

EMOTIONALLY HEALTHY SKILLS

TO CREATE NEW CULTURESlide78

Emotionally Healthy Spirituality

Components

EMOTIONALLY HEALTHY

MARRIAGES

(AND SEXUALITY)

EMOTIONALLY HEALTHY

SKILLS

EMOTIONALLY HEALTHY FORMATION

(SLOW DOWN

TO BE WITH GOD)

CONTEMPLATIVE

SPIRITUALITY

EMOTIONALLY HEALTHY

LEADERSHIPSlide79
Slide80

Stop Mind Reading

Reflect on something you suspect the other person thinks or feels but hasn’t told you,

Ask permission: “Do I have permission to read your mind?”

“I think you think….” “Is this correct?”

Listener responds

Closure

Slide81

Expectations for a Pastor

Preach great sermons every Sunday

a great

administrator

Visit the sick and needy

Should know about every person’s hardship in church

Have

a great

marriage and children who love Jesus

Competent in handling money, pastoring, teaching, counseling, administration, buildings

, etc

a visionary

leader

Identifies,

equips,

and

leads a

growing staff in a growing church

perfect

(e.g

strong but tender

)

Live on less money than

the rest

the church

Never get depressed or angry or struggle with doubts

Be accessible a

lot

Have spouse that is

super-supportive

Return every phone call and

e-mail

Attend

members’ families’

important events (funerals, parties

, etc.)Slide82

Problem

realistic

conscious

spoken

Un “agreed upon”Slide83

Expectations Must Be:

1. Realistic

2. Conscious

3. Spoken

4. “Agreed upon”

Expectations

are Only Valid When They Have Been Mutually Agreed UponSlide84

SESSION 5

EMOTIONALLY HEALTHY LEADERSHIPSlide85

Emotionally Healthy Leadership

Dual Relationships

Hiring/Firing

Strategic Planning and Waiting on God

Preaching/Teaching and IntegritySlide86

Emotionally Healthy Leadership

E. Leadership and the Marriage Vow

F. Social Media and Remaining Rooted in the Ancient Church

G. The Gift of Limits

H. Growing Beyond our Tradition to Learn from Others in the Family Slide87

ONE HOLY CATHOLIC AND APOSTOLIC CHURCH

Roman Catholic Church

Orthodox Church

Pentecost

325

Ecumenical

Council and the Nicene

Creed

1054

Great Schism

Of East and West

New

Testament

Era

Seven Ecumenical Councils

Martin Luther’s

Reformation

Begins

1517

Church of

England

1529

Protestant Churches

Adapted from “

Becoming Orthodox: A Journey to the Ancient Christian Faith

, GillepsieSlide88

The Critical Issue of Integrity

Critical Issues

Your Integrity

1. With God

2. With Yourself

3. With Your Marriage (if applicable) Slide89

The Critical Issue of Integrity

Critical Issues

Your Integrity

1. With God

2. With Yourself

3. With Your Marriage (if applicable)

4. With Your LeadershipSlide90

Emotionally Healthy Spirituality

Components

EMOTIONALLY HEALTHY

MARRIAGES

(AND SEXUALITY)

EMOTIONALLY HEALTHY

SKILLS

EMOTIONALLY HEALTHY FORMATION

(SLOW DOWN

TO BE WITH GOD)

CONTEMPLATIVE

SPIRITUALITY

EMOTIONALLY HEALTHY

LEADERSHIPSlide91

Next Steps

Begin the Journey and Engage the Message

Process with Others in Small Group

(

DVD and

Emotionally Healthy Spirituality Workbook

)

Invite the Wider Church to Begin the Journey

(Church-Wide Initiative)

Visit the website - further resources:

www.emotionallyhealthy.org

Join the mailing list/blogSlide92

Emotionally Healthy Spirituality

Pastor/Leader Life CycleSlide93
Slide94

RULE OF LIFESlide95

RULE OF LIFE

PRAYER

Sabbath

Church

Retreats

Offices (Major and Minor Offices)

MAJOR OFFICE

EMOTIONALLY HEALTHY SPIRITUALITY: - PowerPoint Presentation

EMOTIONALLY HEALTHY SPIRITUALITY: - PPT Presentation

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