Week 7’s topic Anger Anger comes in a range of strengths, from mild irritation, to frustration, - PowerPoint Presentation

Slide1

Week 7’s topicAngerSlide2

Anger comes in a range of strengths, from mild irritation, to frustration, all the way to fury and

rage

We

all get angrySlide3

When we get angry, we need to learn how to use our anger creatively and effectively – not to hurt people but to

heal yourself

and

your relationships with othersSlide4

What we usually call ‘anger’ is actually only the 1

st

stage – the protective stage.

Here

, your anger gives you a power boost to make you feel bigger and stronger so that you can face a person who seems more powerful than you or a situation that seems too difficult to manage.Slide5

1

st

Stage – anger is a built-in, natural emotion that everyone feels. It kicks in automaticallySlide6

The fact that anger is a normal, God-given response in NO way means it is okay to do unacceptable

behaviour

Ephesians 4 v26-27

‘In

your anger do not sin.

Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.’

It

is normal to be angry, but it’s what you then do with your anger that mattersSlide7

3 things trigger your anger

:

You

experience

a

situation or behaviour that you judge

is

unfair, hurtful, or in some other way ‘wrong

’

2. You

feel unable to calmly and easily right the wrong – this may be because you believe that you lack the skill or ability to do so, or the person/situation seems bigger than you can

handle

3. The

experience is troubling enough that you cannot simply tolerate it or let it go.Slide8

Think of a situation recently when you got angry.Which one (or more) of the 3 triggers explains best why you got angry?Slide9

abandoned

afraid

ashamed

Belittled, blamed

Controlled,

criticised

ignored

Inadequate, rejected

overwhelmed

Unfairly treated

unappreciated

Anger often covers these deeper feelingsSlide10

If you hold onto anger for a long time, it causes you problemsPhysical

– ulcers,

diarrhea

, frequent colds and flus, slower wound healing, heart attacks, headaches, backaches, high blood pressureMental, emotional and spiritual

– it separates you from other people, keep feeling like a victim, impacts your ability to be grateful and have a healthy spirit, feeling inadequate, depression and anxietySlide11

Proverbs 14

v17

‘A

quick-tempered person does foolish things, and the one who devises evil schemes is hated

.’

Proverbs 29 v22

‘

An angry person stirs up conflict, and a hot-tempered person commits many sins

.

Proverbs 30 v33

‘For as churning cream produces butter, and as twisting the nose produces blood, so stirring up anger produces strife.’Slide12

We are not created to be angry all the time!Slide13

James 1 v19 and 20 says,

‘Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.’Slide14

The

1

st

stage

of anger is

automatic. It just happens!  The 2

nd

stage is optional. To reap the benefits out of anger, you need to consciously choose stage

Two.

The 2

nd

stage of anger is quieter, more thoughtful than stage one.Slide15
Slide16

Step 1: Safely regain your emotional

balance

Identify

your anger cues

Regain

your emotional

balance instead of harming others

breathe

diaphragmatically.

This

relaxes your contracted

muscle

take

an exercise break. Use up the adrenaline-fueled energy

talk

about it – find someone you trust and talk about it. Talking it through reduces the

tension

write

a poison-letter – write out your anger. This releases a lot of the frustration. Once it’s

written and the anger is released, destroy the letterSlide17

What is your way of calming down when angry?

How often do you do it when angry? All the time, some of the time or never?Slide18

Step 2: Write it down in more detail

Describe the anger-provoking experience and your thoughts and feelings about it

by writing it down

.

- writing it

slows the mind

down.

It also stops you going over the same info all the time.Slide19

Step 3: Identify your Unmet Need

You experience painful feelings

and anger because

there is a need that is unmet.

To

help identify

your unmet need,

re-read your Letter from Step 2. Look at the painful feelings you experienced – if you feel ignored, then your unmet need to be seen or included or recognisedSlide20

Step 4: Take

Action to meet your

Need

Decide how you will fill your need, and take small, manageable steps to do

so.

For example, if your unmet need was that you weren’t listened to by a teacher, what could you do to meet that need?Slide21

Step 5

:Slide22

Step 6: Forgive- Forgiveness is not about condoning someone else’s actions

Forgiveness

is

the only way for you to be free of

anger

forgiveness opens

up the possibility of reconciliation with the other person.

Write

or tell the other person that they are forgivenSlide23

Matthew 5 v23-24

‘Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar.

First go and be reconciled to them

; then come and offer your gift.’Slide24

How to tell if you are dealing with anger well:

Do you end up hating the person, holding grudges?

Do you end up harming the other person with your words or actions?

OR

Do you forgive them?