De-escalating Anger and Frustration - PowerPoint Presentation

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De-escalating Anger and Frustration

Mark Toombs

University of Central Florida

Division of Continuing Education Slide2

Opening Thoughts….

“I understand a fury in your words, but not the

words.”

William Shakespeare

“Never impose your thoughts or words on those you

wish to reach.”

Abbie

Hoffman

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Critical Information

Consider that:

As frustration builds in the community it can sometimes spill into the workplace. Most are upset with their situation and not the person in front of them.

Employees most likely to experience verbal or physical confrontation are those having frequent face-to-face contact with many people.

4 in 20 people feel they can deal with angry people, whereas 9 in 20 would rather run the other way. Give yourself credit for being able to make a difference.Slide4

Precipitating Factors

Possible sources of frustration and anger:

Fear

Perception of lost power or control

Diminished self-esteem

Feelings of failure

It is a learned behavior – it has worked for them

Displaced angerPsychological/physiological causesLimited or inadequate coping skillsBehavioral blindnessSlide5

Are

You

Under Control?

Remind yourself:

Someone

must maintain their composure; if they won’t,

you must

.Put it in perspective – you’ve done this before.Stay calm and confident in your ability to reach a successful outcome. Use the skills you’ve learned.It may not be easy but it’s necessary.Slide6

Recognizing Signs of Anger/Aggression

Watch for….

Red faced

Standing up or standing taller

Raised voice, verbal escalation

Direct, prolonged eye contact

Exaggerated gestures (flailing arms, etc.)Slide7

Recognizing Signs of Anger/Aggression

Watch for….

Profanity

Threatening statements

Clenched fists

Rapid pacing

Any unusual or sudden change in demeanorSlide8

De-escalation/Intervention Strategies

Permit verbal venting

Establish limits

Remind of them of

consequences

Remind them of the

advantages of maintaining control

Respect personal spaceTake them seriouslyAvoid overreacting

Keep your nonverbal

cues non-threateningSlide9

Communication Techniques

Verbal:

Volume

Tone

Pace, Cadence

Words you choose

Sincerity (use their name, be genuine)

Be aware of any language barrierSlide10

Communication Techniques

Non-verbal:

Be aware of

your

body language

Be aware of

their

body languageBe aware of their personal spaceMake appropriate eye contactAppear calm, self controlled, and confident without being dismissive or over-bearingSlide11

Communication Techniques

Non-verbal:

Be aware of

your

body language

Be aware of

their

body languageBe aware of their personal spaceMake appropriate eye contactAppear calm, self controlled, and confident without being dismissive or over-bearingSlide12

10 keys to De-escalation

Recognize

that anger is a choice of a wide range of behaviors that could be used to get what one needs in a situation. It has benefits for its user – feelings of control over people or situations, avoiding difficult situations, or feeling more

significant.

2.

The person interacting with the angry person

must identify his or her own emotions at any given point in time.

If the helping person is also experiencing anger, then that person will not be very effective assisting others to manage theirs.Slide13

10 keys to De-escalation

When potential interventionists are experiencing anger,

they must be able to change what they are doing or thinking

to get their emotions under control or seek the assistance they will need to manage the situation.

4.

Perform a

quick self-assessment

: Can I avoid criticizing and finding fault with the angry person?

Can I avoid being judgmental?

Can I keep myself removed from the conflict?

Can I try to see the situation from the angry person’s point of

view or understand the needs he is trying to satisfy?

Can I remember that, ultimately, my job is to help them?Slide14

10 keys to De-escalation

5.

Recognize early warning signs

. Many incidents of anger could

be prevented if those who are around a person about

to become angry notice the subtle change in the

person’s behavior. Quiet people may become agitated, while louder more outgoing people generally become quiet and introspective. Paying attention to these subtle changes and simply commenting on the change

could help the individual talk about things so he or she

wouldn’t have to become angry. Slide15

10 keys to De-escalation

It is possible that you will do everything right and disruptive people

will still choose anger as the behavior for getting what they want.

When any of these situations occur, you may need to employ

one or all of the following five de-escalation skills.

Intervention Steps:

6. Active listening is the process of really attempting to hear, acknowledge, and understand what a person is saying. It is a genuine attempt to put yourself in the other person’s situation. Active listening means attending not only to the words the other person uses, but also the underlying emotion and the accompanying body language.

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10 keys to De-escalation

7.

Acknowledgement

. This occurs when the listener is attempting to sense the emotion underlying the words a person is using and then comments on that emotion. The person may say something like, “I can see that you are frustrated.” By acknowledging and really trying to understand what the other person is feeling, that person is now able to release a lot of their frustration and move toward the solution.

8.

Agreeing. Often when people are angry about something, there is at least a bit of truth in what they are saying. When attempting to diffuse someone’s anger, it is important to find that bit of truth and agree with it. When the listener agrees with the truth in the angry person’s tirade, he or she takes away the resistance and may eliminate the fuel for the fire.

Obviously, this approach is not always appropriate.

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10 keys to De-escalation

9.

Apologizing

is an effective de-escalation skill. This does not mean apologizing for an imaginary wrong, but simply recognizing anything in the situation that was unjust. It is a statement acknowledging that something occurred that may not have been right or fair. This can have the effect of letting angry people know that the listener has genuinely attempted to understand their situation, which may lead them to stop directing their anger at the person attempting to help.

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10 keys to De-escalation

10.

Anyone intervening in an emotionally charged situation should always have a plan

or an established way to get help if needed. An angry person is generally someone capable of getting out of control. When out of control people sense they are intimidating others, it can increase their sense of power and control, resulting in an escalation of the situation. You must stay calm and act as if you are in control of yourself and the situation.

Even when utilizing the these ten keys, there may be occasions when you are unsuccessful in the attempts to decrease the other person’s anger. Your safety and that of those around you should be the primary concern. Do not get between the angry person and his or her only means of escape and don’t allow the angry person to block your only means of retreat or safety.

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Benefits of Success

What’s in it if we are successful?

Satisfied job-seekers, positive reputation for the organization

Self-satisfaction for a job well done

A safe and stable workplace

Lower stress and enhanced peace of mind for everyone

Minimized potential for situations to escalate into violenceSlide20

Closing Thoughts….

“People who fight fire with fire usually end up with

ashes.”

Abigail Van Buren

“A good head and a good heart are always a formidable combination.”

Nelson Mandela