Don’t Get Me Started Year 11 coursework IGCSE To understand the IGCSE coursework criteria - PowerPoint Presentation

Don’t Get Me Started Year 11 coursework IGCSE

To understand the IGCSE coursework criteria and structure . Think about what will make my coursework successful So that I can... Learning Objective Today I will : Learning Outcome Don’t Get Me Started.

What Are We Doing? Lessons 1- 10 on skills 11- 12 planning & first draft 13 – peer assessment14 – 15 correcting common errorsHomework draft returned & final write up

What Are We Doing? You are working on assignment 1. Assignment 1: informative, analytical and/or argumentative Your assignment should be about 500-800 words.You may use a dictionary.You may word process or handwrite your assignment (I strongly suggest that you word process).

Your assignment: “Don’t get me started on …” You have been asked to contribute to the aforementioned column for a local newspaper. Write an article on an aspect of modern life that annoys you.

What will you do? You will spend 9 lessons studying the skills you need to include. Then you will write your first draft. This will be marked with general comments by me. We will then spend 1-2 lessons covering any common errors to help you to improve.Then you will write up the improvements for homework.

You will be marked on…. AO2 : WritingW1: articulate experience and express what is thought, felt and imaginedW2: sequence facts, ideas and opinionsW3: use a range of appropriate vocabularyW4: use register appropriate to audience and contextW5: make accurate use of spelling, punctuation and grammar.

Key Words for Top Band marks

Think about your skills Use the checklist to tick how confident you feel right now about your own writing skills. Give yourself a target for improvement. Stick this in your books.

DON’T GET ME STARTED!

What annoys Britons? I will read you the top 20 pet hates of Britons published in June 2013. As you hear the hates – I want you to move to the sign that shows how you feel. Do you Strongly Agree that it’s annoying, Agree, Disagree or Strongly Disagree?

To be read out by teacher, not shown. 1. Chavs 2 . People driving close behind you 3. People who smell 4. People who eat with their mouth open 5. Rude shop assistants 6. Foreign call centres 7. Stepping in dog poo 8. People who cough and do not cover their mouths 9. Slow internet connections 10. Poor customer service 11. Dog owners that don't clean up after their dog 12. Noisy Eaters 13. Cold-callers 14. Door-to-door salesman 15. Stubbing your toe 16. Bullying 17. Computer crashing losing work you've spent three hours doing 18. People who talk loudly on their mobile phones 19. Spam email 20. The nation's obsession with Z-list celebrities

Some things that annoy me...

YOUR pet hates In your pairs, using what you’ve heard today to start you off, discuss YOUR pet hates. 2 minutes Feedback

Your pet hates In your books, write down your Top Ten list of pet hates. Next to them, label them (with a key) as serious or humorous.

Choose a serious pet hate. Write what it is in the middle of your page and then mind map around it at least 5 reasons why it annoys you. Homophobia in schools There are better ways to describe things that you hate other than ‘gay’. Homosexuality is not a disease. It is disrespectful. You cannot ‘choose’ to be gay – you are just born that way inclined. I have friends who happen to be gay, and don’t want them to feel as though they are different. 11% of young people are attracted to members of the same sex – 18% of these will be physically abused because of it.

Choose a more trivial pet hate. Write what it is in the middle of your page and then mind map around it at least 5 reasons why it annoys you . People who send me messages in TXT speak – especially my mother. What’s the point? It doesn’t take any time at all to write in standard English It makes you sound uneducated and stupid – who really thinks this is attractive? It takes the reader longer to work out what the ruddy message says In a world of unlimited texts, it doesn’t cost more to send a longer message.

Plenary Using the random selector, I will pick students. Tell us ONE of your pet hates (serious or trivial) and ONE reason why. We will all move to the relevant signs to show if we Strongly Agree, Agree, Disagree or Strongly Disagree.

HOMEWORK You need to decide WHAT topic you are going to write about. Your homework is to decide and record in your book your decision with a brief paragraph explaining why this annoys you. Due:

Lesson 2 Objectives To analyse a variety of texts that argue about modern life. To identify what might be expected from your own writing, in light of these texts.

One example.. Read through the article by Jeremy Clarkson together. What is the point that Clarkson is making? Complete the sentence… In the article, Jeremy Clarkson is writing that ……

I’m Calling Time On Silly Watches This article uses many skills that we want to use in our assignment. Find….. Example from text A rhetorical question     An example of humour    Talking to the reader     An anecdote     Rule of three     Rule of three using repetition    

I’m Calling Time On Silly Watches Find and label the following in the article: A sentence starting with a connective. A sentence starting with an adverb. 2 examples of very short sentences.An insult.Highlight 3 more examples of adverbs. In a different colour, underline 10 words that you could add to your vocabulary to use in your own writing.

Try your own….. What gadgets do people have that either break or are too complicated for their own good?

Try your own….. What gadgets do people have that either break or are too complicated for their own good? Choose one. USE the style of the Clarkson article to write the first paragraph ranting about this gadget. See next slide for help…..

After many years of faithful service, my ………. has ………………. It just ………….. (say what’s gone wrong) which ………. (why is this a pain?) Yes, I know I could …………....................... but what am I supposed to do whilst it’s away? …………………………..? (A silly example of what you might have to do instead). For me, going around without a …………… is worse than ………………………...Now write one more paragraph about how you will have to cope without your gadget. In this paragraph, use 2 of the following: An anecdoteA very short sentence2 adverbsA sentence starting with a connective Try to use some of the vocabulary you highlighted before.

After many years of faithful service, my ………. has ………………. It just ………….. (say what’s gone wrong) which ………. (why is this a pain?) Yes, I know I could …………....................... but what am I supposed to do whilst it’s away? …………………………..? (A silly example of what you might have to do instead). For me, going around without a …………… is worse than ………………………...Now write one more paragraph about how you will have to cope without your gadget. In this paragraph, use 2 of the following: An anecdoteA very short sentence2 adverbsA sentence starting with a connective Try to use some of the vocabulary you highlighted before. ALL students MUST use the structure given.ALL students MUST aim to use 2 of the devices mentioned . STRETCH YOURSELF : in addition – use some of the vocabulary that you have highlighted .

Label your work.. Label the rhetorical question. Label the humour. Label the following that you used: An anecdoteA very short sentence2 adverbsA sentence starting with a connective Highlight any interesting vocabulary.

Night-Time No-Go Area Read through the article, which has a more serious tone.

Night-Time No-Go Area Label the following: Rhetorical question. Very short sentence.Addressing the audience. A fact.Rule of three.Punctuation other than full stops/capitals (label the name of the punctuation).

Night-Time No-Go Area This article has been very clearly planned. In pairs, sum up in ONE line what each paragraph is focussing on. Label this next to each paragraph.

Night-Time No-Go Area This article has been very clearly planned. In pairs, sum up in ONE line what each paragraph is focussing on. Label this next to each paragraph. Facts about the issue. Comparing the reader to the people affected.Introducing the topic (notice the amount of rhetorical questions).How it could be sorted.Summing up the writer’s feelings.

This is ONE model you could use for your own planning….. Introducing the topic (notice the amount of rhetorical questions). Comparing the reader to the people affected . Facts about the issue.How it could be sorted.Summing up the writer’s feelings.

Over to you…. So now – use the TWO articles we have looked at today. In pairs, decide on a list of things you should try to include in your own writing. Write these down in your book.

Did you get these? Rhetorical questions. Some very short sentences. Addressing the audience.Facts.Rule of three.Punctuation other than full stops/capitals (label the name of the punctuation). PlanningParagraphsAnecdotesAdverbsA sentence starting with a connectiveA sentence starting with an adverb .RepetitionYou will be learning or revising all of these over the next few lessons.

RAG your own skills Use the checklist. Read through the skills you need. In the first column, write today’s date.For each box under that column, shade either Red (don’t know), Amber (sort of know/think I know), Green (confident). Underneath, set yourself a target, based on the Red or Amber.You will RAG again at the end of the skills lessons.

Plenary Use your post-it notes. On the next slide is another example of an article about something that Steve Lowe wants changing. Before you can go, you must find TWO of the things that will be expected in your article and stick them on the screen.

Spitting in street creates an uncool, chavvy image Do you spit in public? It appears to be a growing problem, as more and more people, usually young men, spit on the pavement as they walk along. Well one council in London is looking to outlaw the practice.It used to be against the law, but that Act was repealed in 1990 by John Major’s Government. I confess I never would have thought that particular Government would have been in favour of spitting, unless at journalists writing on the misbehaviour of certain ministers. Apparently the law was first brought in as it was believed that spitting helped spread TB. As the cases of TB had all but disappeared it was felt the Act could be repealed. Personally I wished they had kept it and wish Enfield Council well in its attempts to outlaw it once again. This is not because TB is back among us, though it is on a very limited scale, but simply because it is offensive and for most people an unnecessary habit.I have smoked and been reasonably sporty in my day but never felt the urge to spit in the street or anywhere else. There may be some who need to expectorate because of illness, temporary or permanent, but for the rest of those partaking it is done as though it is fashionable and cool. It is neither of those things.I am not normally in favour of giving councils extra powers as they have a tendency to go a bit over the top. I certainly do not agree with the council that has banned swearing in public, which would do my health no good at all. And I did read a case recently where a man was fined for dropping litter when a ten pound note accidentally fell out of his pocket. But it is time to stop this barrage of public spitting.

Understand the concept of Hegel’s Dialectic. Use Hegel’s Dialectic in order to construct a mature argument So that I can... Learning Objective Today I will learn how to: Learning Outcome Structuring Your Argument

Starter: The Best Way to Argue Have an argument with the person next to you... no fisty -cuffs!How can you structure your argument in the most effective way?What sort of phrases make you sound more convincing?

Hegel’s Dialectic This is one way to structure your essay paragraphs. This is an A grade technique, not just at GCSE, but at A level. It is the principal of ARGUMENT AND COUNTER-ARGUMENT.It is one of THE RED RASP techniques (we’ll come on to that next lesson)

Hegel’s Dialectic English is the best subject THESIS Your initial argument ANTITHESIS A counter argument SYNTHESIS Putting the ideas together to create a resolution

Opening Phrases THESIS Your initial argument ANTITHESIS A counter argumentSYNTHESISPutting the ideas together to create a resolution I will give you a section to look at. USE YOUR WHITEBOARDS TO COME UP WITH AS MANY OPENING PHRASES FOR YOUR SECTION AS YOU CAN.

Opening Phrases (Discourse Markers) THESIS: Initially...It could be argued... ANTITHESIS:Conversely...In direct contrast... SYNTHESIS Ultimately, it is clear... On balance, though... However, I believe...

English is the best subject. THESIS It could be argued that English is the best subject because it is the most interesting. ANTITHESIS Conversely, English could be seen as being less important than more practical subjects such as Maths. SYNTHESIS Ultimately, it is clear that English is the best subject as it is incredibly interesting, much more so than Maths, and could conclusively make you as happy and successful as l am. A Model

Group Work Get into threes – one from each of the previous sections, so you have one person from... Thesis AntithesisSynthesisPrepare your own group argument. Use the opening phrases to help you.

[ insert your choice ] is the best subject Come up with a THESIS for this – i.e. Why would you agree?Now, come up with an ANTITHESIS – i.e. What is the opposing viewpoint?Finally, SYNTHESISE this information – i.e. Come up with a conclusion (that favours your opinion, obviously)

Traffic Light Envelopes GREEN – I need a challenge, so I will open envelope 3. AMBER – I could do with a hint, so will open envelope 2. RED – I am stuck, so will open envelope 1.

Envelope taskDo differentiated envelopes.

Peer Assessment As groups present their arguments, rate them for the following; Have they included all three parts of the argument? Have they used the opening phrases from the last slide? Is their argument interesting and balanced?WWW/EBI

Review Imagine you are explaining Hegel’s Dialectic to another class (who haven’t done it). Write the following in your books; How would you define this technique?What would you say it helps you to do?What are the best uses of it you’ve seen today (be specific – name the names and what they did)?

analyse the use of Hegel’s Dialectic, fact and opinion in a professional text. Evaluate the success of these techniques and decide which ones to use So that I can... Learning Objective Today I will learn how to: Learning Outcome Structure of an Argument

Review What goes into the different parts of the triangle? What does that mean? Recall some opening statements.

Polly Toynbee text Read the article from Polly Toynbee’s column, ‘Sorry, but I think dying people are more important than dumb animals’. Polly Toynbee has her own column in The Guardian newspaper. She uses her column to comment* on news stories of the week.*What does that mean she does?

Structure of an Argument Toynbee’s headline is also her HYPOTHESIS ‘Sorry, but I think dying people are more important than dumb animals’ Or in other words, animal experimentation is justifiable in medical cases and people who think otherwise are morons.In pairs, use the cut up version of the article to categorise each part. Is it part of the THESIS, ANTITHESIS or SYNTHESIS? Have a ‘miscellaneous’ category as well.

Structure of an Argument Examine your selection. Compare it to another pair’s version. Why are they similar/different? In your four, come up with an answer to this question. Write up to 5 bullet points.How does the structure help Toynbee to make her own opinion stronger?

Fact and Opinion In general, writers use facts to support their arguments, because facts can be proven, so the effect is to make an argument more credible. In general, writers use opinions for a number of reasons; To make their main points To express themselves To put a spin on their writing, to make it biased.

Facts and Opinions Toynbee does something deliberate with the use of facts and opinions. QUICK! What’s the difference between a fact and an opinion? Let’s analyse Toynbee’s use of fact and opinion together.First, let’s highlight the facts in green.Then, highlight the opinions in orange. What do you notice about the pattern of facts and opinions?

Facts – a closer look “Maybe because only 7 per cent of the population is vegetarian, so an out and out vegetarian war wouldn’t catch the public imagination.” “Enforcing the regulations has cost universities and research establishments nearly £1 billion, which could have been spent on the research itself.” How has Toynbee manipulated the facts here? She uses adverbs to make the numbers seem either small or large. The subordinate clauses are opinions, tacked on to the end of facts. It makes her sound credible. It makes her sound right .

Opinions – a close look Toynbee uses opinions to argue her case. She uses different opinions for different effects, but they all help her to make her point. Let’s look at some specific opinions and examine their effects.

What are these opinions really saying? “The main hope of a cure for this and dozens of other deadly diseases rests on genetic mouse research. There is no other way.” Profoundly misleading propaganda claiming that animal experiments are unnecessary – it can all be done by growing things in Petri dishes – suggests that animals are wantonly carved up for fun.” But it is not the number of animals killed that matters to them...No, what matters is the ideology behind the animals’ death.” Science is the best way forward and if that’s stopped loads of people will die. Animal Rights Activists are liars because they make scientists look like monsters and the ‘alternative’ Petri dish option is a joke. Animal Rights Activists don’t really care about the lives of animals. They just want to make a political point for their own glory.

Evaluate the Effects Toynbee’s intention is to argue that animal experimentation is justifiable in medical cases and people who think otherwise are morons. She’s used a deliberate structure to present facts and opinions. Is her argument persuasive? Jot down up to 5 bullet points saying how the facts and opinions help.

Demonstrate your Understanding Our objective was to examine how Toynbee uses aspects of Hegel’s Dialectic and how she uses fact and opinion. We did this so that we can evaluate whether it makes her argument any good.So,How does Toynbee’s use of structure help her to make a persuasive argument?

How to Write an Answer Let’s use Hegel to help us. HYPOTHESIS Toynbee’s argument is very persuasive because she uses structure, fact and opinion for a deliberate effect.

Toynbee’s argument is very persuasive because she uses structure, fact and opinion for a deliberate effect. THESIS ANTITHESIS . SYNTHESIS

THESIS – one modelled point using PEE Toynbee uses opinion persuasively to make vivisection look like the only realistic way of finding cures. She uses the word ‘hope’ and the statement ‘there is no other way’ to make vivisection look like something we might lose if we’re not careful, which would be disastrous... Make your point . Use evidence from the text to back up your point. Explain how your evidence proves your point.

ANTITHESIS – reasons she may not be as persuasive as she thinks Although you don’t always have to make a counter-argument in an academic essay, in this case it will help you to evaluate the success of the technique. NB. You probably won’t have as many points to make here at that’s NORMAL.The paragraphs with opinions about ARM are too exaggerated and emotive, so her counter-argument looks unsubtle. The opening paragraph doesn’t sound like enough of a counter-argument because the reader isn’t clear who Barry Horne is early on enough.

SYNTHESIS – what do you think after hearing the evidence? Overall, Toybee’s use of structure, facts and opinions make her article very persuasive, because.... ...finish that thought in the light of all of all that we’ve examined.

Review In your books, write down the following advice to yourself; “The thing that I’ve learned from today’s lesson and will try to incorporate into my own coursework is......” Let’s hear a few before you leave.

Learn some rhetorical devices used in this genre Incorporate some of them into my own writing So that I can... Learning Objective Today I will : Learning Outcome Rhetorical Devices

Review What two techniques for being persuasive did we look at last lesson? How many other techniques do you know of? It’s a race! Shout them out!

Rhetorical devices THE RED RASP Techniques for argument or persuasion; T ricolon (rule of three) HyperboleEmotive language Repetition EmpathyD iscourse markers R hetorical questions A rgument and counter-argument S tatements dressed as facts P ersonal pronouns HEY! We’ve seen these two before.

Remind Yourselves In groups of three or four, look up your allocated techniques in a dictionary or other reference text. Write down a definition on your charts and a good example to illustrate it. Send an envoy from your group to one of the others to get their definitions and examples. After your envoy has returned and explained what he has found, fill in the rest of the grid.

Technique Example TRICOLON HYPERBOLE EMOTIVE LANGUAGEREPETITIONEMPATHY DISCOURSE MARKERSRHETORICAL QUESTIONS ARGUMENT/COUNTER-ARGUMENTSTATEMENTS PERSONAL PRONOUNS

One example.. Read through the first page of the article by Charlie Brooker together.What is the point that Brooker is making? Complete the sentence…In the article, Charlie Brooker is writing that ……

Brooker’s Article This article uses many skills that we want to use in our assignment. Highlight and identify as many of THE RED RASP as possible. Can we find any more techniques?

Try your own….. What gets you angry and annoyed like Brooker ?Choose one.USE the style of the Brooker article to write the first paragraph ranting about this topic.

Extension/Homework Now write another paragraph. In this paragraph, use 2 of the following: An anecdote A very short sentence2 adverbsA sentence starting with a connective2 rhetorical devices

Learn how writers try to be funny to make us agree with them. Evaluate the quality of a writer’s argument So that I can... Learning Objective Today I will : Learning Outcome Irony and Sarcasm

Review We explored a variety of rhetorical techniques last week. Try and remember all of them Which examples were the most effective at making an argument? What makes you say that?

Irony Many people misinterpret irony because of the Alanis Morissette song.Here’s the comedian Ed Byrne explaining why her definition is wrong.

Irony

Write down the real definition; Irony: the technique of implying precisely the opposite of what is being said, often in a sarcastic tone. Irony

Verbal Irony – Implies the opposite of what is actually said. e.g. someone says ‘ Thank you very much ’ as a response to something unpleasant. A writer can use this to ridicule others or reveal their vices, like Chaucer in The Wife of Bath “She was a worthy woman al her lyve. Husbondes at chirche doore she hadde hadde fyve.”

Situational Irony reflects some incongruity between what is expected to happen and what actually does. A man who never does anything for his children decides to build a cage for their pet hamster, finishes it to great applause, steps back and accidentally treads on the animal, killing it.

Dramatic Irony refers to a situation in a theatre in which the audience understands the implications of what is going on better than the characters. But dramatic irony will be covered in another unit, so let’s not worry about it now.

Irony Vs Sarcasm IRONY BOTH SARCASM Always works indirectly through pretenceIntend to ridicule, insult or hurt their victims UnsubtleAppeals to the intellect because the exaggerated behaviour allows us to see a thing’s true qualityCan be uttered in a particular tone Appeals to emotions so leaves the reader feeling anger, dislike or contemptListening to simulated advocacy of things that are bad clarifies our idea of what is good

Example Scenario: a couple wash up and she breaks something. SARCASM: “It’s ham fisted idiots like you that keep John Lewis’ profits up. Have you got shares? IRONY: “What a deft, light-fingered touch you have, my love. Ever thought of working in a china shop?” IS THIS VERBAL OR SITUATIONAL IRONY?

PAIRS - Can you tell the difference? Decide which of the two passages on the handout is IRONIC which SARCASTIC. Which passage leaves you with a clearer idea of the good qualities that are to be preferred to the ones described?

Apply to Demonstrate Read the extracts again. Explain what the writer is attacking. Describe the tone or mood in each. Which argument is more effective?What led you to that conclusion?

Review Think of a cutting comment to say to someone. Think of a sarcastic and ironic way to say it. Possible scenario: one of your friends has had a new hair-do. You don’t like it. IRONY: What a refreshingly different style you’ve gone for.SARCASM: Been using the hedge trimmers again?

Learn how writers use a mix of styles to make an argument Emulate some of the styles So that I can... Learning Objective Today I will : Learning Outcome Formality

Review Explain what you remember about the assessment we’re working towards. What kind of writing skills do you think you’ll need? What new things have you learned so far?

What do we mean by formality ? Is dependent on the context and can be expressed through vocabulary and structure.Think – when are you MOST formal in your speech? When are you least formal? How do you speak in such situations? What is the difference?

Example of FORMAL Moments – The product of a force into the length of the perpendicular let fall upon its line of action from any point is known as the moment of the force about that point. It measures the tendency of the force to cause the body on which it acts to begin to rotate about that point. Thus P . CB and W . AC (fig.22) are the moments of the forces P and W about the point C. The force R which acts through C has obviously no moment about this point. The moment of a force about a point is generally regarded as positive if it tends to set up rotation in a counter-clockwise direction and negative if the direction is clockwise. Thus the moment of W about C is positive and that of P is negative. A Manual of Physics, J A Crowther , 1941

Example of INFORMAL Moments or Turning Forces: Factors affecting Moments When you push a door closed, it doesn’t travel in a straight line – it turns around the hinges. This is an example of a moment. Try closing a door by pushing it at the handle. Now try closing the door by pushing it in the same way but right next to the hinges. It’s harder, isn’t it? You need more force! And if you push the door on the hinge or into the hinge you get no turning effect at all. The door just pushes straight back and refuses to budge. You get me?

Formal Vs Informal FORMAL INFORMAL POLYSYLLABIC LEXISSLANG WORDSJARGON WORDSWORDS A NON-SPECIALIST WOULD USELONG, COMPLEX SENTENCES ELLIPTICAL SENTENCESSTARTS WITH ADVERBIALSSTARTS WITH SUBJECT

POLYSYLLABIC LEXIS & SLANG FORMAL SEMI-FORMAL INFORMAL COLLOQUIALvomit drunk knackered Complete the table by inserting what you think is the right choice for the different levels of formality. I have left the last row blank for you to create your own scale. You’ll need a thesaurus for this.

Formality If you want to sound friendly and get people to like you, use INFORMAL LANGUAGE. If you want to sound authoritative, knowledgeable and credible, use FORMAL LANGUAGE

Night Time No Go Area Re-read this article. In pairs, decide which bits sound formal and which informal? Identify the techniques used to achieve this (eg . Starting with adverbs, short sentences)Discuss the effects.

Did you get these? Rhetorical questions. Some very short sentences. Addressing the audience.Facts.Rule of three. Punctuation other than full stops/capitals (label the name of the punctuation).PlanningParagraphsAnecdotesAdverbsA sentence starting with a connectiveA sentence starting with an adverb.RepetitionYou will be learning or revising all of these over the next few lessons.

Sentence Variety It’s not just the words that changes formality. The sentences do too. We’ll look specifically at Complex sentences for more formal writing; Elliptical sentences for more informal writing.

Try it Yourselves In your pairs, reverse the formality of the second paragraph, making it much more formal. Use a thesaurus to help you choose more ambitious vocabulary. What does it do for the tone?

Learn the best use for the different sentence types Use the right sentence type at the right time So that I can... Learning Objective Today I will : Learning Outcome Sentence Types

Review On your whiteboards, write down as many things as you know about sentences – any rules, names, exceptions, punctuation – anything. QUICK! It’s a race. Hold your board up as soon as you’re done. Have a look around. Did you miss anything?

W5 Band 1 Candidates write accurately. They use punctuation and grammatical structures to define shades of meaning. They spell simple, complex and technical words with precision.Band 2 Candidates show some signs of understanding how punctuation and grammatical structures can be used to aid communication. Errors of spelling, punctuation and grammar are minor, and rare at the top of this band. Band 3 Candidates use punctuation and grammar competently although the range is not strong. There may be a number of minor errors especially at the bottom of this band and even occasional errors of sentence separation.

COMMA SPLICE – Oh no you didn’t! Some people have difficulty recognising where a simple sentence ends. Paul went home. He entered the house silently.They argue that he should be included in the first sentence by using a comma instead of a full stop, because they’ve been taught that a complete sentence contains a ‘complete statement’. BUT THEY ARE WRONG! They have misinterpreted the idea of ‘whole statement’ to mean ‘everything about the topic’, whereas it really means a grammatically complete statement containing a subject and a verb.The example is CORRECT

Subject and Verb (just in case you’re not sure) SUBJECT : The agent doing the doing .Paul went home. He entered the house silently. VERB: The doing word / the action that the agent did.Paul went home. He entered the house silently.You can’t have two agents taking two actions in the same simple sentence. You need a different sentence type for that.

Hinge Questions Annie and Leonard are friends as well as lovers their marriage is very happy. The physical attraction between Arthur and Beatie is very strong they get carried away one night.Clara was unhappy in her marriage to Baxter Dawes she was unhappy with Paul for another reason.Put in either a full stop or a comma, whichever you think best.

Semi-colons The semi-colon would have worked in any of our previous examples. The semi-colon is used to emphasise the connection between two, related simple sentences when a full stop would be too final. It gives shades of meaning.Clara was unhappy in her marriage to Baxter Dawes; she was unhappy with Paul for another reason. You can’t use it to join unrelated simple sentences together. That would be illogical. Look;Hugh is an educated man; Maire wants to go to America. 

It’s a matter of style Which of the statements carries the greatest weight? Why do you think so? 1a Paul cannot give himself completely to Clara but Baxter can. 1b Paul cannot give himself completely to Clara; Baxter can.2a Clara wants Paul’s body and she also wants his mind and heart.2b Clara wants Paul’s body; she also wants his mind and heart. 3a The episode involving the swing tells us about Paul and Miriam’s attitudes towards life and sexuality and so it is highly symbolic.3b The episode involving the swing is highly symbolic; it tells us about Paul and Miriam’s attitudes towards life and sexuality.

W5 Band 1 Candidates write accurately. They use punctuation and grammatical structures to define shades of meaning. They spell simple, complex and technical words with precision.Band 2 Candidates show some signs of understanding how punctuation and grammatical structures can be used to aid communication. Errors of spelling, punctuation and grammar are minor, and rare at the top of this band. Band 3 Candidates use punctuation and grammar competently although the range is not strong. There may be a number of minor errors especially at the bottom of this band and even occasional errors of sentence separation. Band 4 Candidates use a limited range of punctuation and grammatical structure with some care, although occasionally grammatical error will cause the reader some difficulty. There may be quite numerous errors, particularly of sentence separation and the misuse of commas. Band 5 Candidates show knowledge of simple punctuation and grammar, but the amount of error, especially of tense and the use of prepositions, is sometimes considerable. Sentence separation is often poor, but error does not prevent the reader from understanding what is written. Band 6 Candidates occasionally use appropriate punctuation and can spell simple words, but the reader is not convinced that their understanding, especially of grammar, is adequate.Band 7 Weaknesses in spelling, punctuation and grammar are persistent, but the reader is able to follow at least part of the writing. Band 8 The amount and breadth of error prevents sufficient communication of meaning.

When to use a simple sentence. They are good attention grabbers. So, when might you want to grab the reader’s attention? Hands up! Try writing one of each I have listed and any other one we’ve heard. Write one with a semi-colon too. Use the idea of a pet hate – phones, binge drinkers, your mum, whatever. They don’t have to be consecutive. In the hook. To make a serious, dramatic point.To make things very clear.

Review What does the top band of the mark scheme look for? What is a comma splice? How many verbs are there in a complete simple sentence? Define the ‘subject’ in a sentence?When might you use a semi-colon? What effect would it give you?What does the top band of the mark scheme look for again?

Learn the best use for the different sentence types Use the right sentence type at the right time So that I can... Learning Objective Today I will : Learning Outcome Sentence Types

Review What’s the title of your assignment? What writing skills does it test? What are they expecting of your punctuation and grammar at the top of the mark scheme?

Before we get started Write a short anecdote as part of your article – a quick story to illustrate and add weight to your point. Make it at least 7 sentences long and have a goodly amount of complex sentences. For example, my pet hate today is poor quality food in English supermarkets. “I was shivering through the deli section in Tesco’s last Thursday, hoping to find something with which to tempt my guests. I glossed over the Yorkshire ham. Too boring. I mulled over the pancetta and Parma ham. Too Guardian-reading, planet-saving middle class. Then I saw it. At first, I recoiled....”

Complex Sentences We already know (because you learned it in primary school) that complex sentences are......... .....sentences that contain two different types of clause: the main clause and the subordinate clause. Main clause : makes a statement.Subordinate clause: adds some detail about the circumstances.

Complex sentences Clara loved Paul, although she went back to her husband. Main clause Subordinate clause The main clause is a simple sentence that can stand alone. The subordinate clause starts with a connective and makes NO SENSE on it’s own.

Complex sentences and their connectives Insert the connective that helps to capture the intention of the subordinate clause. For example: What concessions are being made:Clara loved Paul, although she went back to her husband

When to use a complex sentence When you want to build up tension – you can do this by starting with the subordinate clause, adding extra details and ending with the main clause. Despite a last swell of snow, the wind gusting hard, threatening to blow us from our perch, we were on the South Summit.

When to use a complex sentence You can use it to spring a surprise on the reader by saving the main clause til the end too. At the beginning, to French-Norman blood was added Scots-Irish blood. And when you add to these the Indian strain supplying the mystery and the Jewish strain supplying spectacular showmanship, and you overlay all of this with his circumstances, social conditioning and religious upbringing you have the enigma that was Elvis.

When to use a complex sentence You can start with the main clause and leave it loose, to ramble a bit so it has a story-telling quality. I was born in the year 1632, in the city of York, of a good family, though not of that country, my father being a foreigner of Bremen, who settled first at Hull...

Vary sentence starters Let’s hear some examples of the anecdotes you wrote at the start. Using the sheet on sentence starters and the notes you have on the use of complex sentences today, re-write your anecdote to include an example of each. Work with a partner and read your anecdotes. What difference have your changes made? Evaluate the effects you have created.

Reminder & Homework Book a computer room for next lesson. Think about the topic you’ll write about. Think hard, because we start in about two lessons time, in class.

Plan my own lesson Pinpoint exactly what a good writer does and explain it to others So that I can... Learning Objective Today I will : Learning Outcome Independent Learning

Rationale The best way to learn something is to teach it to someone else. It’s important for you to demonstrate your understanding of the techniques we’ve examined so far. It’s also important for you to show us what else you know and to shine.

What you have to do Get into groups of 4 or 5. Either use a text that I’ve given you or choose your own (quickly). Plan a lesson that will teach the others what makes this text such an effective rant. You’ll need to explain some stuff.You’ll need some AVAs.You’ll need an activity for the class to do.Use your experience of teaching styles and do what you think works best.You’ll have 15-20 minutes, so you’ll have to be selective about what stuff to focus on (you can’t look at all of the techniques).

Things we’ve covered so far Hegel’s dialectic (structure) Fact and opinion Rhetorical devicesIrony and satireFormalitySimple sentences Complex sentences

Independent LearningFor the next lesson (and a bit) you are in control of what we learn. Good luck.

Learn that thinking, planning and drafting takes more than one go Produce a fully crafted end product So that I can... Learning Objective Today I will : Learning Outcome Planning

DON’T GET ME STARTED

Playing around with words Use Hegel’s dialectic as a way of planning points. Write some sentences that you may come back to later. Play with ideas, structures, words until something starts to take shape.

Homework Have as detailed a plan as you can. Do some research on your topic and have some facts to hand, so you sound authoritative. Next lesson we begin drafting.Remind me to book a computer room.

Learn that thinking, planning and drafting takes more than one go Produce a fully crafted end product So that I can... Learning Objective Today I will : Learning Outcome Planning 2

Review.....Facts On the next slide is the mark scheme for organising facts and paragraphs. We will work on paragraphs next lesson. For now – look at what the mark scheme says about using facts.

W2 1. Facts , ideas and opinions are ordered logically, each stage in the argument or narrative carefully linked to the next. Paragraphing is a strength, and candidates are confident in experimenting where appropriate in the structure of expressive writing .2. Facts, ideas and opinions are often well ordered so that the construction of the writing is clear to the reader. Sentences within paragraphs are mostly well sequenced, although some paragraphs may finish less effectively than they begin. 3. A clear attempt is made to present facts, ideas and opinions in an orderly way, although there may be some insecurity in the overall structure. 4. There is evidence of overall structure, but the writing may be presented more carefully in some sections than in others. There may be examples of repetition and the sequence of sentences within paragraphs may be insecure in places. 5. Facts, ideas and opinions are presented in paragraphs which may be inconsistent. The overall structure is unsound in places . 6. Facts, ideas and opinions may appear in partially formed paragraphs of inappropriate length and some attempt is made to provide a beginning and an end . 7. There may be some signs of an overall structure although inadequate presentation of facts, ideas and opinions creates blurring . 8. An absence of overall structure and paragraphing leads to confusion.

Using your facts… There is a big temptation to use all the facts you have found in an ‘introductory’ paragraph and just state them without making any point with them. When using your facts, you need to balance them with your opinion.

My example On the next slide (and on your hand-out) are 7 facts that I found out about sandals. (For a piece of writing entitled ‘Don’t Get Me Started On Sandals’). In pairs, decide which of these facts you would make use of (this is completely your own opinion). You will be asked WHY you would use this fact – so be prepared to feedback.

Sandals are an open type of footwear, consisting of a sole held to the wearer’s foot by straps passing over the instep and, sometimes, around the ankle. The risk of developing athlete’s foot is lower than with enclosed shoes and the wearing of sandals may be part of the treatment for such an infection. The oldest known sandals were discovered in the US state of Oregon; radiocarbon dating indicates an age of at least 10,000 years old. The word sandal derives from the Greek word sandalon.The ancient Egyptians wore sandals made of palm-leaves and papyrus. Jelly sandals or Jelly Shoes were originally a version of the classic fisherman sandal made in PVC plastic. They were invented in 1946 by Frenchman Jean Dauphant in response to a post-war leather shortage. Birkenstock is a type of German sandal.

Which facts? Which would you use? Why use it? How could you use it in a sentence?

My paragraph… On the next slide (and on the sheet you have been given) is a paragraph using some of these facts. The lolly-sticks will decide who will come up and point to the facts I have used.

So. Sandals may have been around for nearly 10,000 years, but does that make them right? Sandals are open-toed shoes. That is my problem. The toes. Who in their right mind wants to see a set of ugly, hairy, pale toes? Like little spiders crawling across rancid cream; the hairs make me feel ill just looking at them. Forget your Birkenstocks and your Jelly Shoes! The Egyptians may have had to have worn papyrus shoes because leather hadn’t been invented. They had no choice. We have a choice. Why, of all of the shoes in all of the world, would you choose sandals? Craftily living near the ground, this plague of sandals creep up on you unawares.

Now your own.. Choose 2 of your facts. In pairs, and using my paragraph to help you, rewrite the facts by incorporating them into a sentence and not just stating them. Each pair will help each other work on each of your topics – not just one between you.

Now your own…. Swap your new sentences with another pair. Each pair, read the facts and the sentence. Does the sentence make sense? Can you improve it? Swap back.

C onnectives Simple sentencesComplex sentences Staring with a simileStarting with an adverbA fragmentRhetorical questionEmotive languageMagic 3Imperative verb

Try yours again… Use the model paragraph, if you wish. Incorporate some of your facts. HOWEVER AT THE SAME TIME, you have also got to use some of the skills we have learnt: Language devices Starting sentencesMix of simple and complex sentencesEmotive language

Grade your paragraph.. This is a Band ……. paragraph. WWW: EBI:

W2 1. Facts , ideas and opinions are ordered logically, each stage in the argument or narrative carefully linked to the next. Paragraphing is a strength, and candidates are confident in experimenting where appropriate in the structure of expressive writing.2. Facts , ideas and opinions are often well ordered so that the construction of the writing is clear to the reader. Sentences within paragraphs are mostly well sequenced, although some paragraphs may finish less effectively than they begin .3. A clear attempt is made to present facts, ideas and opinions in an orderly way, although there may be some insecurity in the overall structure .4. There is evidence of overall structure, but the writing may be presented more carefully in some sections than in others. There may be examples of repetition and the sequence of sentences within paragraphs may be insecure in places . 5. Facts, ideas and opinions are presented in paragraphs which may be inconsistent. The overall structure is unsound in places . 6. Facts, ideas and opinions may appear in partially formed paragraphs of inappropriate length and some attempt is made to provide a beginning and an end . 7. There may be some signs of an overall structure although inadequate presentation of facts, ideas and opinions creates blurring . 8. An absence of overall structure and paragraphing leads to confusion.

PlenaryLabel your paragraph with the skills you have used.

Learn that thinking, planning and drafting takes more than one go Produce a fully crafted end product So that I can... Learning Objective Today I will : Learning Outcome Planning 3

Working at your own pace Today you will mostly be planning your own work. Those of you who would like a little more help with how to write it, come closer. Those of you who would like to have a go on their own, move further away.

Structure Here’s ONE way you could structure your work. You may decide to use your own way. This is based on the topic ‘Don’t Get Me Started on Unrealistic Body Images in Men’s Magazines’

Paragraph One: Establishes why this subject is on your mind – USE DIRECT ADDRESS. Maybe ‘Picture this.’ Paragraph Two: Offers initial explanation as to why this thing annoys me so much. Use descriptive language, use different sentence starters, use variety of punctuation, use simple, compound, complex sentences. Paragraph Three Discuss how everyone else feels about this Paragraph Four Facts and opinion s about this topic. Incorporate the facts. Paragraph Five: How could I solve this issue? Final line : End your argument. Perhaps refer back to something at the beginning? Possible structure

Paragraph One: Establishes why this subject is on your mind. Talk to the audience. Picture this. You are in the supermarket waiting at the till, bored, gazing at the magazines display, ‘Men’s Health’ with its typical cover – a young male model, top off showing his ‘ hench ’ torso. ………. What skills can you see in this partial paragraph?

Paragraph Two: Offers initial explanation as to why this thing annoys you so much Waiting behind me, is a young boy with his parents. So I briefly chat to them about having to wait so long in the queue. The boy is about 10. He’s lovely, funny and polite but I imagine the pressures that will face him over the coming years as he grows to fit expectations of what it is to be ‘attractive’. ………..

Paragraph Three: Discuss how everyone feels about this. So many people find it so frustrating that magazines for women and men only feature on their front cover models of a particular type. All my friends who buy such magazines for the articles, fashion etc…say they also hate the fact that only models who conform to what is conventionally attractive appear in these magazines ………. What skills can you see in this partial paragraph?

Paragraph Four: Facts and opinions about this. Approximately 1% of 16 to 18 year olds have anorexia and it affects both boys and girls. However, it is on the increase in boys. This means that in a year 11 group at our school, 4 of my friends could have this condition. Most anorexia starts between the ages of 16 and 17 and I am convinced that this is because of the unreal images we are bombarded with as teenagers. It is ridiculous to put such impossible standards upon young people that they can never achieve…….. What skills can you see in this partial paragraph?

Paragraph Five: How could you solve it? Indeed, magazine editors need to be much more aware of the pressures they put on young people. Greedily taking in the money they get from their readers, they need to consider their responsibilities too. Magazines should not be allowed to air-brush their models to make them perfect….. What skills can you see in this partial paragraph?

Final line: Final statement. Referring back to the beginning.... Therefore, I am waiting for the day that I see a role model I can truly aspire to on the front of ‘Men’s Health’. What link can you see from the first paragraph?

Paragraph One: Establishes why this subject is on your mind – USE DIRECT ADDRESS. Maybe ‘Picture this.’ Paragraph Two: Offers initial explanation as to why this thing annoys me so much. Use descriptive language, use different sentence starters, use variety of punctuation, use simple, compound, complex sentences. Paragraph Three Discuss how everyone else feels about this Paragraph Four Facts and opinion s about this topic. Incorporate the facts. Paragraph Five: How could I solve this issue? Final line : End your argument. Perhaps refer back to something at the beginning? Possible structure

Try it yourself….Using ONE word from the discourse markers sheet, write the opening sentence for ONE paragraph (not the first one) using the structure from this lesson.

PlenaryAs mentioned, one clever way to end your writing is to link back to something you mentioned in the first paragraph. On a post-it – write a sentence you could use in your LAST paragraph for ONE of the essays starting like this…..

Plenary …….Picture this: you are in a restaurant sharing special time with a great friend of yours. The conversation is flowing and you are enjoying your intelligent discussion. Suddenly, their phone rings. Its tone, breaking the atmosphere, sounding like a bad 90s disco. To your shock and horror, she answers the phone. …….Picture this: it’s Christmas Day. You’ve just had a wonderful time with family, eating the delicious roast dinner. The jokes are corny but making everyone giggle like little babies. You are content. Then someone switches on the television and you hear those distinctive booms that signify the start of Eastenders and the misery and destruction that programmers seem to think you desire on such a happy day.

Evaluate my work and the comments from the marker Improve my first draft and produce a fully crafted end product So that I can... Learning Objective Today I will : Learning Outcome Re-drafting

The mark schemeThe article ‘Red Faces’ was written by a student in Year 10 some years ago. Let’s read the mark scheme first to know what the examiners are looking for. Let’s read the article now.

Group work Each group has one aspect of the mark scheme: AO2: Writing W1: articulate experience and express what is thought, felt and imaginedW2: sequence facts, ideas and opinionsW3: use a range of appropriate vocabularyW4: use register appropriate to audience and context W5: make accurate use of spelling, punctuation and grammar

Group work Each group must annotate the article, using key words from the mark scheme at specific points. Let’s do the first paragraph together on the visualiser.Now, a spokesperson from the group must explain what you think of the article in the light of the mark scheme and why.

Peer assessment Now that we have agreed on the interpretation of the mark scheme, it is your turn to assess each others’. Swap with someone a million miles from you. Do not choose a best friend to do this, because you won’t be objective with each other. Use the mark scheme to comment on your partner’s work in the same way as we did for ‘Red Faces’. At the bottom, write WWW and EBI – make sure you relate them to the mark scheme.

Self Assessment Swap back again. Read over the comments made by your marker. Have a think about them first.Then, write what you think you will do to improve your work in the MRI (my response is). BE VERY SPECIFIC.

Review We’ve seen an example of a successful article. Markers, who would you like to nominate as a good example from our class? What was good about theirs? Let’s see them on the visualiser while you tell us.

Evaluate my work and the comments from the marker Improve my first draft and produce a fully crafted end product So that I can... Learning Objective Today I will : Learning Outcome Re-drafting

Common Errors

Common Delights

Self Assessment Read over the comments I made about your work. Have a think about them first. Then, write what you think you will do to improve your work in the MRI (my response is). BE VERY SPECIFIC.

ReviewExplain what changes you have made and why you made them.

Edit, proof read, change, re-organise and tweak Produce a piece of work that does me proud So that I can... Learning Objective Today I will : Learning Outcome Re-drafting for final submission