Assertiveness in management Sue Duraikan Objectives Be able to think assertively about yourself and others Recognise values rights and responsibilities of an assertive manager Discover how to use assertive words tone and body language ID: 768697
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Assertiveness in management Sue Duraikan
Objectives Be able to think assertively about yourself and others Recognise values, rights and responsibilities of an assertive manager Discover how to use assertive words, tone and body languageLearn how to handle typical management challenges using assertive techniquesRecognise aggressive, passive-aggressive and passive behaviour in others and encourage them to act assertively
Assertiveness is….. …acting in a way that shows your self-respect and your respect for others …being able to stand up for your values, rights, wants, needs and opinions without denying those of others.
Self-respect v respect for other I’m OK I’m not OK You’re OK Assertive Get on with Passive Get away from Give in to You’re not OK Aggressive Passive-aggressive Get rid of Get even Depressive Get nowhere
Aspects of assertiveness Expressing unpopular or different opinions Asking someone to change their behaviour Making a complaint Refusing unreasonable requests Admitting you’ve got it wrong Giving and taking compliments Starting and maintaining a conversation
Steps to assertiveness Think right! Act right!
Values The customer is king. It’s best to be honest and open with people. You stay till the job is done. Got to keep learning since the world keeps changing.
Values We’ll get more done by sharing the workload. If we think positively, we’ll find a solution. We have to be fair. Things can always be improved.
The psychological contract…. …..The perceptions of two parties (employee and employer, manager and staff) of what they expect of each other.
Rights and responsibilities Right: To receive clear communication To refuse certain requests Responsibility: To act on it appropriately To give a clear reason for doing so
Think right! Manage your self-talk Define your rights as a manager Define your responsibilitiesConsider what rights your staff, peers and bosses have
Management: getting things done through people John Adair, Action-Centred Leadership
Albert Mehrabian , Silent Messages Making an impact Verbal 7%Vocal 36%Visual 57%
H Assertive communication Open Concise Clear Positive Listen Find out Empathise Show you understand
7 types of assertion
Visual impact Eye contact Hands Feet/movementFacial expression/animationClothes
Vocal impact Volume Articulation PacePitchRangeInflection
Management challenges One of your staff has emailed you asking if they can have 3 days’ holiday next week. You already have one member of staff on long term sick leave, one going on a training course and your team has a backlog of work to clear.
Your rights Their rights Self talk Visualise success Behaviour Outcome achieved Outcome avoided
Making a request DO Be direct and concise Give reason for requestRespect their right to refuse DON’T Over- apologise Flatter and promise rewards Take refusal personally Try to wear them down!
Making a request (DESO) D escribe the situation ‘The deadline for presenting the data is tomorrow.’ E xpress how you are feeling ‘I’m concerned that I haven’t seen your results yet.’ S pecify what you would like to happen ‘Can you send me your results by 3 o’clock?’ O utcome ‘Then we can be sure of getting the data collated in time.’
Refusing a request DO Be polite ‘Thank you for...’ Ask for more info or timeKeep it short but friendlyRepeat refusal Speak slowly, steadily, warmly DON’T Over-apologise Over-explain Ask permission to say no Hurt feelings
Handling aggression: verbal Communicate clearly Ask questions and listen Answer questionsApologise if in errorShow you’re keen to find a solutionDon’t take it personally Point out consequences if appropriate
Handling aggression: visual and vocal Breathe deeply - even, warm tone Open positionKeep hands calmWatch personal spaceDon’t appear hurried Both sit down
Handling passive-aggression Self-talk Don’t blame yourself Don’t take the baitFocus on what I needTry to see it from their viewpoint Verbal Ask questions Listen Be honest Communicate clearly without blaming
Handling passive-aggression Visual Steady eye contact Friendly, open facial expressionOpen posture, calm gestures Vocal Even, warm tone Speak slowly and clearly Use silence to encourage openness and honesty
Handling passive behaviour Verbal Empathy Ask questions and listenSupportive, encouraging messageFirm, clear message, repeated if necessary, Vocal and visual Gentle tone Relaxed posture Supportive facial expression
Cultural aspects of assertiveness Visual Greeting Personal space Eye contact Facial expressionVocalVolumeRapidityRange Verbal Directness Agreement Self-promotion
TED talks https://www.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_your_body_language_shapes_who_you_are?language=en Fake it till you make it Fake it till you become it