Successful difficult conversations in school –

Stage 1: Forming A group or team forms, they come together and they go through a ‘getting to know you’ phase. Conversation is around friendly factual information to build up a picture of the person or organisation.<br>

Stage 2: Storming But the honeymoon ends and storming begins. This is when the team start to test the metaphorical boundaries:
Is it okay to be late?
Can I wear jeans?
What if I don’t do that bit of work on time?<br>

Stage 3: Norming Once the team has stormed they will have established some norms, hopefully good norms, of how their team behaves and works. Good norms support the team to do well; bad norms hinder.<br>

Stage 4: Performing Once the team has normed they are ready to really start performing. This doesn’t mean they haven’t performed and delivered up to this point.
But now a lot of the team dynamics have been established and their energy can be more focused on their work and performance.<br>

One stage is more important than all the others<br>

The three core components of successful difficult conversations<br>

Examples of getting the conversation started: I, issue, the outcome Low-level difficult conversations
“I notice you have been late four times over the last two weeks and the school needs you to be ready to work at 8:30am every day.”
Mid-level difficult conversations (performance issues)
“I’ve seen from your data that your class are not making the expected level of progress and I need you to find a way to ensure that they all make at least expected progress by the end of the school year.”
High-level difficult conversations (staff conduct)
“I feel you can come across as rude to parents at times and I would like you to express yourself in a positive manner throughout the school day, especially to parents.”<br>

This mistake within the mistake People will often say their sentence either:
Without an outcome, or
State a solution instead of an outcome
This is the mistake within the mistake of not planning your opening sentence.

Having an outcome:
Reduces the likelihood of the issue dragging on
Stops the conversation being pulled off track
Increases the chance of success<br>

What to do when a conversation lands on you:Work out their ‘I, issue, the outcome’ Parents often come with the solution:
Move a child to another class because their child is being bullied)
The real outcome might be:
‘I want my child to be happy at school and be able to learn in every lesson’.

Often, the stated outcome is not the real one; it’s a method they think will lead to the problem going away but, without a clear understanding of the outcome, you can find that trying the supposed solutions won’t get you any nearer to the problem being fixed.<br>

Making sure your message is heard:It’s not what you say…it’s how you say it<br>

Four Ss Stance – sit or stand like they do
Say – use their words, it shows you’ve heard them
Signal – use their gestures (but in a way that is authentic to you)
Summarise – summarise back their main points<br>

Structure the conversation for success:STORM State the issue (‘I, issue, the outcome)
Their side – what do they think?
Options – how could they achieve the outcome?
Resolution – what will they do?
Move on and follow up – arrange a time to check progress

Find out more on how to structure a difficult conversation for success with this free e-course: https://ukheadsup.com/storm/<br>

Get a weekly 2-minute top tip to help you have more successful difficult conversations Got a question about difficult conversations? Ask Sonia and she might make a 2-minute top tip from it. www.ukheadsup.com/headsuptv/ www.ukheadsup.com/asksonia/<br>

Good luck! Sonia Gill,
Founder and Director,
Heads Up<br>

Successful difficult conversations in school – Improve your team’s performance, behaviour and attitude with kindness and success Sonia Gill,
Founder and Director,
Heads Up

Please note the content herein does not constitute legal advice.<br>